May 2012 Filers

[sk8rpatty 17]

Well, my cat arrived on in Hawaii on Friday, I booked my ticket to Hawaii on Friday after my fiance pushed me to do both and soon. I've sold all my things. but it seems that the distance has taken a toll and made the heart grow weaker in a matter of days. I never thought this would happen to us. This is the end of the road. May you all stand the test of time, stay in love.

I think I'm confused. What happened?? You bought a ticket and now it's the end?

[Kassil&Tierce 18]

I think I'm confused. What happened?? You bought a ticket and now it's the end?

Apparently her fiance has chosen to call it all off - I hope that she at least gets her cat back. :/

[sk8rpatty 17]

Apparently her fiance has chosen to call it all off - I hope that she at least gets her cat back. :/

It's just seems so sudden. I guess I was hoping I misunderstood what she was saying. So sad.

[BrockUK 26]

Well, my cat arrived on in Hawaii on Friday, I booked my ticket to Hawaii on Friday after my fiance pushed me to do both and soon. I've sold all my things. but it seems that the distance has taken a toll and made the heart grow weaker in a matter of days. I never thought this would happen to us. This is the end of the road. May you all stand the test of time, stay in love.

Wha what?! What just happened here seriously?!

[Kassil&Tierce 18]

Wha what?! What just happened here seriously?!

According to her profile status update, her fiance's decided he's not in love with her and called it off - kind of a ####### move, what with her having sold her stuff and shipped her cat. :/

[sk8rpatty 17]

kind of a ####### move, what with her having sold her stuff and shipped her cat. :/

Completely agree. My heart breaks for her. I guess it's better now than after she was here. But seriously, he had no idea less than a week ago when she shipped the cat and then told her to buy a ticket to visit? Or better yet, before she sold all her things? What a jerk.

[BrockUK 26]

Wow....I mean....wha?! Seriously, you go through all this petition and waiting, and then out of the blue the love of your life tells you to ####### off! I mean, thats just terrible and heart breaking, especially when you sell and send your possesions to another country!

I do feel for you, I really do! But this really does show what kind of character he really is, and maybe it is for the best that you found out his true feelings before you got married.

Im sorry, us VJers are here for you. MAY 2012...........UNITED!!

[Pinkrlion 2,722]

According to her profile status update, her fiance's decided he's not in love with her and called it off - kind of a ####### move, what with her having sold her stuff and shipped her cat. :/

I agree,it is wrong, but we will still be there for her.

[SweetDelish 38]

*sigh* so... everyone deserves at least one chance right? I'm really embarrassed that I announced this, I didn't think someone would say stuff like this unless they meant it. It was an unprovoked decision by him, it came out of the blue, I thought we were really happy, I wasn't disillusioned. He did go through a nasty divorce with his ex-wife and one of the guys at his work, who is bitter and unhappy in his own marriage got in his ear, saying that I might be wonderful now, but as soon as we are married, I'll change. he started thinking I was too good to be true. The distance doesn't help I suppose. it was a complete ####### move.. trust me.. I even told him that.

I don't do the 'on again, off again' thing. I thought he was serious, he tells me he feels foolish, realised he went too far when I just started talking logistics for my cat and belongings (emotional hysteria is not my thing either). I'm a little wary, but think he deserves at least one chance based on being a complete idiot. finally.. a reason to use this...

I'd also like to say.. its nice to know that you guys are fully supportive. I wasn't going to come back here I was so embarrassed, but its not like you've seen my face.

[Kassil&Tierce 18]

*sigh* so... everyone deserves at least one chance right? I'm really embarrassed that I announced this, I didn't think someone would say stuff like this unless they meant it. It was an unprovoked decision by him, it came out of the blue, I thought we were really happy, I wasn't disillusioned. He did go through a nasty divorce with his ex-wife and one of the guys at his work, who is bitter and unhappy in his own marriage got in his ear, saying that I might be wonderful now, but as soon as we are married, I'll change. he started thinking I was too good to be true. The distance doesn't help I suppose. it was a complete ####### move.. trust me.. I even told him that.

I don't do the 'on again, off again' thing. I thought he was serious, he tells me he feels foolish, realised he went too far when I just started talking logistics for my cat and belongings (emotional hysteria is not my thing either). I'm a little wary, but think he deserves at least one chance based on being a complete idiot. finally.. a reason to use this...

I'd also like to say.. its nice to know that you guys are fully supportive. I wasn't going to come back here I was so embarrassed, but its not like you've seen my face.

Well, it's good to hear he realized he was being an idiot now, rather than years from now. Tell him that I, as another guy, am telling him to not listen to the people who ###### about their marriages - either they bought into the Hollywood fairy-tale romance, or they got into the relationship based on sex and looks, which are not the foundation of a good relationship. Any relationship is going to take work - doing things together, spending time together, spending time apart with your own hobbies so you have alone time, weathering the arguments that inevitably crop up from two people with fully developed personalities and opinions having a difference of opinion on a topic. Entirely too many people go into marriage either expecting a fairy tale, an excuse to get laid constantly, or with the belief that they can 'fix (him/her) up' into what they think they want, instead of accepting that their partner is a real person with quirks, perks, and flaws that make them real. As long as you're both willing to put in the effort, you'll be fine.

[sk8rpatty 17]

No need to be embarrassed! Thank you for coming back to update us. I'm sure it wasn't easy.

It sounds like he had a severe case of pre-wedding jitters, but he does need to be slapped around a bit (verbally) for putting you through that. X 10 !

I know my guy was nervous at the beginning about getting married. Same fears, that I will completely change once we get married. I told him "Yeah, I'll gain 200 pounds and become a rightous nag" haha. He's finally gotten past that (hopefully!) You add the stress of this process plus the distance and things can get crazy. Let's hope that is all it was and the guy you know and love is back.

Like others have said, we're here for you!

[SweetDelish 38]

Well, it's good to hear he realized he was being an idiot now, rather than years from now. Tell him that I, as another guy, am telling him to not listen to the people who ###### about their marriages - either they bought into the Hollywood fairy-tale romance, or they got into the relationship based on sex and looks, which are not the foundation of a good relationship. Any relationship is going to take work - doing things together, spending time together, spending time apart with your own hobbies so you have alone time, weathering the arguments that inevitably crop up from two people with fully developed personalities and opinions having a difference of opinion on a topic. Entirely too many people go into marriage either expecting a fairy tale, an excuse to get laid constantly, or with the belief that they can 'fix (him/her) up' into what they think they want, instead of accepting that their partner is a real person with quirks, perks, and flaws that make them real. As long as you're both willing to put in the effort, you'll be fine.

that was why he told me, to admit to me that he shouldn't be listening to people jaded about their marriages. hopefully this won't happen again. hes agreed to communicate better with me and not to have such knee jerk reactions.

No need to be embarrassed! Thank you for coming back to update us. I'm sure it wasn't easy.

It sounds like he had a severe case of pre-wedding jitters, but he does need to be slapped around a bit (verbally) for putting you through that. X 10 !

I know my guy was nervous at the beginning about getting married. Same fears, that I will completely change once we get married. I told him "Yeah, I'll gain 200 pounds and become a rightous nag" haha. He's finally gotten past that (hopefully!) You add the stress of this process plus the distance and things can get crazy. Let's hope that is all it was and the guy you know and love is back.

Like others have said, we're here for you!

ha, pre wedding jitters, just a little bit!! he was nervous about it in the beginning too, so I let him lead that conversation and allowed him to make that choice, I'm not one for pushing a decision, I needed him to be sure and to do it in his own time. I know its alot to do with the distance, we have always been so good at talking about our fears, which is why I was so shocked and took it seriously. I actually have a very good friend here, who married her American husband, they made the decision for him to move here, to NZ instead. once they got married, he took a month to get his things together, move down here and filed for resident status, took 30 days and voila, all approved.

hey on the bright side, it gave us all something to talk about other than the waiting right?

[sk8rpatty 17]

hey on the bright side, it gave us all something to talk about other than the waiting right?

LOL That you did!

Jordan is 54 and never been married, I'm the one who went through a nasty divorce after 15 years so neither of us really wanted to get married but we had started talking about it since it seemed like we planned to be together long term anyway. Well when the reality hit that we can't just live together, we decided it was really what we both wanted. He did openly admit that he was aprehensive, which made me nervous, but once we got used to the idea and got down the road in this process we knew it was the right thing to do and truly what we both wanted. The first month was rough though.

I've been going a little crazy lately. I'm over on "Cruise Critic" on my roll call for my cruise (the only way I get to visit my guy until mid November) trying to kill time and I just can't get into the conversation over there. They are just happy people counting down until their vacation and I can't fault them for that, but my countdown has a completely different meaning. In the end we are all just WAITING.

Time to go to the gym and burn off some of this frustration!

[KyleAndrea 1]

OMG!!! We have been approved Aug 2!!! And I was expecting an RFE but we didn't!!!! I love you all!!!

[Mateo&Raquel 28]

Congratulations Kyle!!!!