TLC ( the learning channel) being 70 & pregnant

[Peter_Pan 661]

Britain's oldest first-time mother regrets having daughter so late

Britain's oldest first-time mother has admitted it was a “mistake” not to have had her daughter earlier.

By James Orr

7:30AM GMT 21 Mar 2012

Sue Tollefsen, 61, revealed she was recently left unable to care for Freya for weeks after contracting a blood infection that left her incapacitated over Christmas.

The retired teacher, who became a mother four years ago, said the experience of her illness made her realise she may not be able to see her daughter grow up.

She also now agrees that 50 should be the “cut-off” age limit for becoming a parent.

She said: “It’s so true that you learn from your mistakes, and my mistake was not having her sooner.

“I was so ill, I literally thought I was dying. I kept thinking about Freya - and for the first time, I realised I might not be there for her any more.

“If I’m completely honest, my experience has taught me that 50 should probably be the cut-off limit for having children.

“But, until you have them, it’s almost impossible to appreciate that.”

Miss Tollefsen, of Harold’s Wood, Essex, caused controversy in 2008 when she had her daughter via IVF, using sperm from her then partner Nick Mayer and a donor egg.

At the time, she defended her choice and pointed out that Mr Mayer was 11 years her junior and would therefore be around to care for their daughter during all of her childhood.

But critics condemned the couple’s decision, saying she was too old to become a mother. She has since also faced a backlash from other parents.

In an interview with Closer magazine, she revealed how one mother at her daughter’s crèche had told her she was “selfish”.

She said: “I was in tears, it made me feel very vulnerable. Once, I took Freya to see a health visitor and she thought Freya was my granddaughter. I was so embarrassed.”

Miss Tollefsen also revealed the strain of her day-to-day routine as a single mother. She split from Mr Mayer, 49, a warehouse manager, last year

She said: “At my age, I get exhausted easily – especially since I’ve been ill.

“I was 57 when I had Freya, but I felt very energetic and able to cope. I thought I would feel fit and healthy for ever.

“I hope I live to see Freya go to university and get married and have a family of her own. That’s my only wish now.”

Miss Tollefsen became pregnant in June 2007. She and Mr Mayer spent £15,000 on fertility treatment in Russia after they were turned away from British clinics because of her age.

Government guidelines recommend doctors do not offer IVF to women over 40 on the NHS, and private clinics will generally refuse to treat women older than 50.

Freya was born in March 2008 by Caesarean section. The four-year-old stays with Mr Mayer every other weekend, and he looked after her when her mother was ill.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/9157177/Britains-oldest-first-time-mother-regrets-having-daughter-so-late.html

[Peter_Pan 661]

More than likely, healthier than yours....

Thank you, Sybil!

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Again, I am telling you from my own experience.

I live in the real world, where older woman are having their child at a older age because of their careers. None that I know of have spoken about these issues that you are stating. I have taught young child in programs, I have seen grandparents, and mature parents involved in their children lives and these are not issues that they are dealing with. Then on the other hand I have seen the scatterbrain young parent who can't handle the responsibility of raising their young children and trying to make a career work.

Then if you want to use the arguments that mothers should not work and be at home raising their children, there is no difference.

What experience do you have, have you raised a child from birth?

Peter Pan your arguments have turn the advancements that woman have made in society back 100 yars.

Edited May 2, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[100% Al Ahly Fan 53]

May I ask why are you so angry? I am just debating your arguments back to you with counter arguments. That is what a debate is, everyone can have a personal opinion, but to say something is wrong about a woman choice to have a child without valid arguments doesn't lead to sound reasoning.

The statement that I have put in quote from you, ends all arguments, you don't have a reason, just a season as why you don't appreciate the beauty of science.

No anger here, just wanted to set you straight. It's one thing to debate but it's another to take ones words and twist them by saying they said things they clearly didn't. You keep showing us that you either don't understand what people are saying or are ignoring it completely. Who said they don't appreciate the beauty of science? Once again, please read what I said -- ya know, that part about IVF being "an amazing medical option" for women of bearing years.

You asked why it's not a good idea for a women past bearing years to get pregnant. That question and the REASONS have been answered several times.

This thread might have been more interesting if we had people to debate with that actually made sense.

[Peter_Pan 661]

I live in the real world, where older woman are having their child at a older age because of their careers. None that I know of have spoken about these issues that you are stating. I have taught young child in programs, I have seen grandparents, and mature parents involved in their children lives and these are not issues that they are dealing with. Then on the other hand I have seen the scatterbrain young parent who can't handle the responsibility of raising their young children and trying to make a career work.

Then if you want to use the arguments that mothers should work and be at home raising their children, there is no difference.

What experience do you have, have you raised a child from birth?

Actually, I have. Does that make my point more valid?

My mom is in her 50s and my sister is 12. She doesn't want people to see her with my mom, especially not her friends, because "you are younger and prettier".

There is a time for everything in life, and I think we should stick to them, they are there for a reason.

Edited May 2, 2012 by Peter_Pan

[NY_BX 397]

Actually, I have. Does that make my point more valid?

My mom is in her 50s and my sister is 12. She doesn't want people to see her with my mom, especially not her friends, because "you are younger and prettier".

There is a time for everything in life, and I think we should stick to them, they are there for a reason.

That has nothing to do with the "real world." It is how you're raised. Apparently very superficial. I'm with LIFE on this one....

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

No anger here, just wanted to set you straight. It's one thing to debate but it's another to take ones words and twist them by saying they said things they clearly didn't. You keep showing us that you either don't understand what people are saying or are ignoring it completely. Who said they don't appreciate the beauty of science? Once again, please read what I said -- ya know, that part about IVF being "an amazing medical option" for women of bearing years.

You asked why it's not a good idea for a women past bearing years to get pregnant. That question and the REASONS have been answered several times.

This thread might have been more interesting if we had people to debate with that actually made sense.

Again, why are you so angry? What makes what you have to say make sense? If some disagree with you, you don't want to hear it. You can ignore the post, you are a very angry person. WHY????

[Peter_Pan 661]

That has nothing to do with the "real world." It is how you're raised. Apparently very superficial. I'm with LIFE on this one....

Yes, I am the one in denial about the cruelty of kids, meanwhile we are flooded with news about kids killing themselves over bullying.

Again, why are you so angry? What makes what you have to say make sense? If some disagree with you, you don't want to hear it. You can ignore the post, you are a very angry person. WHY????

:blink:

The worlds stopped making sense about now.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Actually, I have. Does that make my point more valid?

My mom is in her 50s and my sister is 12. She doesn't want people to see her with my mom, especially not her friends, because "you are younger and prettier".

There is a time for everything in life, and I think we should stick to them, they are there for a reason.

Wow, you don't see beauty in your Mom at 50. Maybe if life wasn't hard on her she would still have attained her beauty. Fifty is a very young age for a woman not to be able to have attained some of their natural beauty.

Edited May 2, 2012 by LIFE'SJOURNEY

[Peter_Pan 661]

Wow, you don't see beauty in your Mom at 50. Maybe if life wasn't hard on her she would still have attained her beauty. Fifty is a very young age for a woman not to be able to have attained some of their natural beauty.

Are you a native English speaker? It is the third time I've explained I am quoting a child's perspective (actually 2's, mine from when I was a kid and my sister's fom her younger years). You do know that for a child a 40 yo is super old, right?

Edited May 2, 2012 by Peter_Pan

[NY_BX 397]

Wow, you don't see beayuty in your Mom at 50. Maybe if life wasn't hard on her she would still have attained her beauty. Fifty is a very young age for a woman not to be able to ahve attained some of their natural beauty.

and Peter_Pan talks about bullying and the like. I just feel sorry with such a mentality. Kids/ tweens get more bullied about weight issues than ageism. In fact, "real world" experience is, having a hot mom may trigger more teasing.

Are you a native English speaker? It is the third time I've explained I am quoting a child's perspective (actually 2's, mine from when I was a kid and my sister's fom her younger years). You do know that for a child a 40 yo is super old, right?

OMG, you're hopeless....

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Are you a native English speaker? It is the third time I've explained I am quoting a child's perspective (actually 2's, mine from when I was a kid and my sister's fom her younger years).

Are you a native English speaker? It is the third time I've explained I am quoting a child's perspective (actually 2's, mine from when I was a kid and my sister's fom her younger years).

Peterpan, I am probably better at english language than you are, putting that aside again when you were younger and this is from your perspective how could the aspect of how your mother look over shadow the love and protection that she was giving to you make you and your sister feel this type of shame.

When you were younger did all of your friends have HOT looking mothers and fathers?

[zahrasalem 114]

If a much older woman in her 60's, 70's + gets pregnant by accident, I would certainly not condemn her for being selfish to the child, it was an accident....doing it by IVF at that age, I can't agree with.

Even after menopause women can still can get pregnant, even though it's not common.

God works in mysterious ways and no matter how old a woman is and thinks she can't get pregnant, God will let it happen even against all odds of science.

My husband and I want children together very much and are planning to have at least one child, hopefully 2, and if it takes until I'm well into my 40's, that's OK for us, we leave it up to God.

I had my first (and only child so far) in my early 30's and I can tell you for sure, I am a better mother in my 30's than I would have been in my 20's, I have more patience now than in my 20's, I'm healthy and have a lot of energy, and I appreciate life more as well. So if I have a child in my 40's, I know I would do well with them.

My mother had me at 40 (she never used birth control back then) and today she is still doing everything she always did, including driving and projects around the house, and has excellent health.

Edited May 2, 2012 by zahrasalem

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

Britain's oldest first-time mother regrets having daughter so late

Britain's oldest first-time mother has admitted it was a “mistake” not to have had her daughter earlier.

By James Orr

7:30AM GMT 21 Mar 2012

Sue Tollefsen, 61, revealed she was recently left unable to care for Freya for weeks after contracting a blood infection that left her incapacitated over Christmas.

The retired teacher, who became a mother four years ago, said the experience of her illness made her realise she may not be able to see her daughter grow up.

She also now agrees that 50 should be the “cut-off” age limit for becoming a parent.

She said: “It’s so true that you learn from your mistakes, and my mistake was not having her sooner.

“I was so ill, I literally thought I was dying. I kept thinking about Freya - and for the first time, I realised I might not be there for her any more.

“If I’m completely honest, my experience has taught me that 50 should probably be the cut-off limit for having children.

“But, until you have them, it’s almost impossible to appreciate that.”

Miss Tollefsen, of Harold’s Wood, Essex, caused controversy in 2008 when she had her daughter via IVF, using sperm from her then partner Nick Mayer and a donor egg.

At the time, she defended her choice and pointed out that Mr Mayer was 11 years her junior and would therefore be around to care for their daughter during all of her childhood.

But critics condemned the couple’s decision, saying she was too old to become a mother. She has since also faced a backlash from other parents.

In an interview with Closer magazine, she revealed how one mother at her daughter’s crèche had told her she was “selfish”.

She said: “I was in tears, it made me feel very vulnerable. Once, I took Freya to see a health visitor and she thought Freya was my granddaughter. I was so embarrassed.”

Miss Tollefsen also revealed the strain of her day-to-day routine as a single mother. She split from Mr Mayer, 49, a warehouse manager, last year

She said: “At my age, I get exhausted easily – especially since I’ve been ill.

“I was 57 when I had Freya, but I felt very energetic and able to cope. I thought I would feel fit and healthy for ever.

“I hope I live to see Freya go to university and get married and have a family of her own. That’s my only wish now.”

Miss Tollefsen became pregnant in June 2007. She and Mr Mayer spent £15,000 on fertility treatment in Russia after they were turned away from British clinics because of her age.

Government guidelines recommend doctors do not offer IVF to women over 40 on the NHS, and private clinics will generally refuse to treat women older than 50.

Freya was born in March 2008 by Caesarean section. The four-year-old stays with Mr Mayer every other weekend, and he looked after her when her mother was ill.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/health/9157177/Britains-oldest-first-time-mother-regrets-having-daughter-so-late.html

[Lisamarie 79]

When you were younger did all of your friends have HOT looking mothers and fathers?

I sure hope so or they would've been truly embarrassed........

Peterpan, I am probably better at english language than you are, putting that aside again when you were younger and this is from your perspective how could the aspect of how your mother look over shadow the love and protection that she was giving to you make you and your sister feel this type of shame.

When you were younger did all of your friends have HOT looking mothers and fathers?