Husband doesn't want to file papers

[AstaMarisa 84]

What is your husbands reasons for not wanting to file?

Isn't there any legal issues with him not filing?

No, he wants to file it. He keeps saying about it. But it's been over 2 years now, so I assumed he didn't want.. to file.. or maybe he is just lazy, or afraid that I'm gonna leave him. But it's never been a real reason not to file. He started I saw it on his computer, but he never finished. I don't know what's his problem..That's what happened when I left Russia, I was 9 months pregnancy because he bought cheaper tickets on January 14th when I got my visa on December 29. So he waits for last last moment when it's nothing else to do.

I mean I was 38 weeks pregnant, women will understand, it is very risky to fly, you can have a baby right there or I even could have a baby in Moscow, which would ruin my visa I would have to apply for different visa (for me and the child) and wait probably another 7 months. But he wanted me to wait another 2 weeks in Moscow just because the tickets would be cheaper. So I guess he won't do it unless it's really really needed. Like I'm gonna die if i don't have it. Then he will do it.

Edited May 2, 2012 by murysa

[ErikaAndHamit 73]

But surely he understands he could lose you by being deported if thats ever an issue. I would be so afraid of being seperated from my son! What a mess...so what's your question again? I'm lost.

[AstaMarisa 84]

But surely he understands he could lose you by being deported if thats ever an issue. I would be so afraid of being seperated from my son! What a mess...so what's your question again? I'm lost.

Hi, good morning, yes I'm so freaking scared to lose my child. And I just KNOW for sure he won't do anything to me if I'm nice and quiet, he won't try to take my child away. But if I start something, he will pull all the power to stop me. And even more, he will be afraid of me trying to take custody so he would go for any dirty sh%t trying to leave me in a hole..

My question was what should I put on the piece of paper that I include for my i-485. They ask if I was arrested. Should I mark "yes", "no"? And what's my explanation? (as I understood it's needed)

[sabi 148]

No, he wants to file it. He keeps saying about it. But it's been over 2 years now, so I assumed he didn't want.. to file.. or maybe he is just lazy, or afraid that I'm gonna leave him. But it's never been a real reason not to file. He started I saw it on his computer, but he never finished. I don't know what's his problem..That's what happened when I left Russia, I was 9 months pregnancy because he bought cheaper tickets on January 14th when I got my visa on December 29. So he waits for last last moment when it's nothing else to do.

I mean I was 38 weeks pregnant, women will understand, it is very risky to fly, you can have a baby right there or I even could have a baby in Moscow, which would ruin my visa I would have to apply for different visa (for me and the child) and wait probably another 7 months. But he wanted me to wait another 2 weeks in Moscow just because the tickets would be cheaper. So I guess he won't do it unless it's really really needed. Like I'm gonna die if i don't have it. Then he will do it.

I am sorry but first you said he wants you to leave as you are in his way and now that he doesn't file the papers because he is afraid that you would leave? C'mon, at least read what you write and stick to it! are you guessing or you know your own situation?

Edited May 2, 2012 by sibi777

[sabi 148]

Because I don't like anybody else anyway and why wouldn't I be with him if I have my papers done? If I have it done he will be more respectful to me, he will be afraid to lose me, he will love me more, if I'm independent. What is wrong if I wanna stay with my husband? I came here for him, I came to marry him, and not divorce him. I know he was always afraid that I might run away, that's why he didn't give me much money, just a little and checked me spending them right away so I couldn't save any. And if you are russian go keanu.ru. I been seating on that site since 2008, I have same name there and you can see how my English grew month by month.

well I am sorry but there must be something wrong with your perception of love! I don't see how someone can love you more when you are a resident. We love people for who they are, no? He is cheating on you , well seeing other women and putting you to jail??? That's love? Well good luck to you! I think your real question is: "can I apply for a Green Card without my husbands knowledge"- Yes you can. Will you get it? I doubt it since he has to sign the form to be your sponsor!Unless he does it then you'll be fine. No one here knows your real situation so any advice will be inadequate unless anything of what you're saying is 100% true!

Other than that just follow the guide here of how to adjust the status or apply for a 10 year green card! Good luck

[Darnell 8,478]

what is the size of your budget for getting your greencard?

and

what is your budget for getting your greencard ?

[Leatherneck 693]

Hi, good morning, yes I'm so freaking scared to lose my child. And I just KNOW for sure he won't do anything to me if I'm nice and quiet, he won't try to take my child away. But if I start something, he will pull all the power to stop me. And even more, he will be afraid of me trying to take custody so he would go for any dirty sh%t trying to leave me in a hole..

My question was what should I put on the piece of paper that I include for my i-485. They ask if I was arrested. Should I mark "yes", "no"? And what's my explanation? (as I understood it's needed)

You must always be honest and tell the complete truth on all immigration forms. An arrest record is part of your background -- so declare it and explain the details of what happened.

[Bri & Mar 12]

His being in the military and you being married to him entitles you to a dependant ID card and all the benefits that go along with being a military dependant. You need to contact the legal office at the base where he works as well as his commanding officer (CO)immediately. Something is seriously wrong with this whole situation. You know that if you can prove abuse that u will be granted permanant status without the need of your husband in the whole process.

Abuse is very serious and I have seen it end very badly, he killed her then himself. I was a paramedic on a military base and witnessed this situation first hand and watched it play out for 2 years!!! GET HELP IMMEDIATELY as this is at least mental abuse!!!!!!

[bobargenis 0]

You can seek protection from USCIS; the new laws do protect "Spousal Abuse". Or, go to an advocacy group in your area regrading immigration. Do it quick, seems like a control freak that should of never been married. I'm sorry, and pray for you. Please keep us posted, we have no other choice than to call USCIS ourselves and report this matter, if needed.

You can also call his Commanding Officer and the "Base" Wives Support Group

Edited May 2, 2012 by bobargenis

[Adriene H 89]

How do you know how to look up the word in the dictionary if you're not sure how to spell it?

It's called phonetics. Or E-bonics or something

[Penny Lane 8,159]

I want to believe this OP is telling the truth, because it disgusts me that anyone would lie about getting abused.

However, a lot of their story fails to make any sense at all. I'm impressed with the level of English (even for a native English speaker, people make mistakes) she's shown with no education. I'm also confused as to why her husband is afraid for her to leave. If he was, you'd think he'd file the papers to get her to STAY.

Anyway. If it's true, she's gotten good advice here. It's up to her to take it.

[Adriene H 89]

Just because someone is in the military does NOT mean, in any way, that they are an upstanding person. I have known some really aweful people that have been in the military. It really bugs me that people always jump to "he's putting his life on the line... Or....it's because of him that we have all the rights that we do.". Some military are complete asses, lazy, don't give a ####### about their country OR you and me, and have mental problems just like regular citizens.

There's been some pretty atrocious stories about police

officers and sheriffs too over the years

I want to believe this OP is telling the truth, because it disgusts me that anyone would lie about getting abused.

However, a lot of their story fails to make any sense at all. I'm impressed with the level of English (even for a native English speaker, people make mistakes) she's shown with no education. I'm also confused as to why her husband is afraid for her to leave. If he was, you'd think he'd file the papers to get her to STAY.

Anyway. If it's true, she's gotten good advice here. It's up to her to take it.

This scenario sounds like a recent episode of House MD

[aws&ndd 103]

Because I don't like anybody else anyway and why wouldn't I be with him if I have my papers done? If I have it done he will be more respectful to me, he will be afraid to lose me, he will love me more, if I'm independent. What is wrong if I wanna stay with my husband? I came here for him, I came to marry him, and not divorce him. I know he was always afraid that I might run away, that's why he didn't give me much money, just a little and checked me spending them right away so I couldn't save any. And if you are russian go keanu.ru. I been seating on that site since 2008, I have same name there and you can see how my English grew month by month.

What makes you think that he will love you more AFTER the papers are filed? No, he will not love you more, no he will not be more respectful to you. He will treat you the exact same way he is treating you now, and if you believe that things will change, well you are hoping for something that will never happen.

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

I really love how everyone here has tried and convicted this guy with only hearing one side, and to be quite frank, her story sounds ridiculous and unbelievable. This guy is putting his life on the line for your freedom such as being able to post on boards etc etc etc , he at least deserves his say. He doesn't deserve to be labeled a woman abuser until all the facts come out. Horrible !!!!

Thank you for saying this. On VJ it seems we're prone to jumping to conclusions.

[Penny Lane 8,159]

Thank you for saying this. On VJ it seems we're prone to jumping to conclusions.

There is no 'jumping to conclusions' .. on VJ, we generally only get one side of the story unless both parties involved are posting. So VJ goes by the information they are given. Could it be biased and untruthful? Yes. But it's the ONLY side of the story we get to hear in most cases. So yes, people are going to answer based on the information they're given.