Husband doesn't want to file papers

[rayandmel 39]

I really love how everyone here has tried and convicted this guy with only hearing one side, and to be quite frank, her story sounds ridiculous and unbelievable. This guy is putting his life on the line for your freedom such as being able to post on boards etc etc etc , he at least deserves his say. He doesn't deserve to be labeled a woman abuser until all the facts come out. Horrible !!!!

Being Military does not make you a saint! I live in an area with one of the largest population of military in the country and let me tell you, no person, fighting for the country or not, is without fault. One of my best friends is a JAG officer, military people are in jail here for being child molesters, abusers, rapists, and more! Some of them officers! Spare us the guilt trip....

She is seeking advice, all we can do is take her at her word and steer her in the right direction.

[aws&ndd 103]

I think filing the paperwork is the least of your problems. You're in a relationship with someone who doesn't seem to care for you. I mean if he did then the relationship wouldn't be a 'secret'. He would have done everything to support you instead of treating you like a prisoner. And sending you to jail? That's not right. I hope you can find the help you need.

[merkin&regine 18]

I mean I can file them of course but without him I can't do it all completely, even pay (which is $1070 and I don't work = means I can't pay)

He brought me to the bank on a second day also but they told him we can't have such account. Well he is in a military, may be this has to do something with all this..

Maybe you dont have a SSN too? and SSA won't issue you one anymore coz your I-94 has expired Try talk to your husband

[AstaMarisa 84]

Thank you, guys for all the information you gave me and advices. I know anybody could be lying, I would be happy to have a conversation in the same room with him and his boss or friends or whoever he is saying these things about me , but he is avoiding this kinda meetings so my friends are on my side and his are on his. His boss is pulling some case on him by the way so I don't think he likes her that much right now. And he is not risking his life if somebody cares about it, he is a navy photographer and he is always here in town just taking pictures, that's what he chose and I don't blame him, he is good at his job, so doesn't matter what it is. I don't risk my life either. But I risk other things, like I wanna be with my son and just be ether with my husband ether alone but with ability to take care of things.

Since I came here I found out a lot of new thing for myself, like I would never think that California police takes ppl to jail without any proof or evidence of crime, it all depends on who called first. And who knows law better. I didn't know that you can be in a house and your husband can be outside calling on you. Well he called on me 9 times and on 8th time they took me just because they had to put somebody in jail. They also dropped my charges, I didn't even have to see the judge. But they put me on hold for immigration reason and then let me go. I just don't feel like I have to deal with him dating others so that's why I never left even he tried to kick me out. He also tricked me not to tell the police what actually happened because CPS would take our child away. So I didn't tell anything. I didn't speak English well then so I couldn't explain why I'm in jail. Ppl were asking me, and I was like "I don't know".

[merkin&regine 18]

Thank you, guys for all the information you gave me and advices. I know anybody could be lying, I would be happy to have a conversation in the same room with him and his boss or friends or whoever he is saying these things about me , but he is avoiding this kinda meetings so my friends are on my side and his are on his. His boss is pulling some case on him by the way so I don't think he likes her that much right now. And he is not risking his life if somebody cares about it, he is a navy photographer and he is always here in town just taking pictures, that's what he chose and I don't blame him, he is good at his job, so doesn't matter what it is. I don't risk my life either. But I risk other things, like I wanna be with my son and just be ether with my husband ether alone but with ability to take care of things.

Since I came here I found out a lot of new thing for myself, like I would never think that California police takes ppl to jail without any proof or evidence of crime, it all depends on who called first. And who knows law better. I didn't know that you can be in a house and your husband can be outside calling on you. Well he called on me 9 times and on 8th time they took me just because they had to put somebody in jail. They also dropped my charges, I didn't even have to see the judge. But they put me on hold for immigration reason and then let me go. I just don't feel like I have to deal with him dating others so that's why I never left even he tried to kick me out. He also tricked me not to tell the police what actually happened because CPS would take our child away. So I didn't tell anything. I didn't speak English well then so I couldn't explain why I'm in jail. Ppl were asking me, and I was like "I don't know".

Philippines have an Agency in US called CFO(commisions on FIlipinos Overseas) to help people like your case but you have to be a filipino, I'm sure your country has one like that in US too? To protect their citizens from abusive USC (very Rare though but it happens). If so, try contact those agency and asked for help.

God Speed and may you find help soon.

[Ayman___ 92]

Thank you, guys for all the information you gave me and advices. I know anybody could be lying, I would be happy to have a conversation in the same room with him and his boss or friends or whoever he is saying these things about me , but he is avoiding this kinda meetings so my friends are on my side and his are on his. His boss is pulling some case on him by the way so I don't think he likes her that much right now. And he is not risking his life if somebody cares about it, he is a navy photographer and he is always here in town just taking pictures, that's what he chose and I don't blame him, he is good at his job, so doesn't matter what it is. I don't risk my life either. But I risk other things, like I wanna be with my son and just be ether with my husband ether alone but with ability to take care of things.

Since I came here I found out a lot of new thing for myself, like I would never think that California police takes ppl to jail without any proof or evidence of crime, it all depends on who called first. And who knows law better. I didn't know that you can be in a house and your husband can be outside calling on you. Well he called on me 9 times and on 8th time they took me just because they had to put somebody in jail. They also dropped my charges, I didn't even have to see the judge. But they put me on hold for immigration reason and then let me go. I just don't feel like I have to deal with him dating others so that's why I never left even he tried to kick me out. He also tricked me not to tell the police what actually happened because CPS would take our child away. So I didn't tell anything. I didn't speak English well then so I couldn't explain why I'm in jail. Ppl were asking me, and I was like "I don't know".

Here is the link again http://www.womenshelters.org/

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Well he works at Public Affair office so he knows how to say right words to the right person, so he is very tricky, he put me in jail twice already every time after I tried to do something on my own, he also has money, lawyers around, a car and ability to do anything. And I can't even walk out of the door, because I have my baby in my hands, don't have a car or money to get anywhere. So even if I start something he will just put me in jail like always. And as I said his English is much better than mine so he will find a way to trick people to believe him. No lawyer could help me since I'm here so I decided to just deal with him by myself, just be nice to him and pretend that I'm happy with everything. At least he won't take my son from me.. I don't know. It's really risky to do anything.

I would like to help you and that is something that Alla and I try to do actually. But as I read more of your posts, particularly this one, I have some concerns.

Now I cut the guy no slack because he is in the military, in fact I may give him less since he is supposed to be defending our FREEDOM, what he is doing to you would seem contradictory.

Alla teaches English. She translates English and interprets English professionally. For hospitals and court proceedings, government agencies. We have two boys who learned English and Alla has TWO masters degrees in English, one from her university in Ukraine and one from a university here...yet YOUR use of English in your posts is excellent. Grammar, syntax, punctuation, articles (usually especially difficult for Russian speakers), spelling. Excellent. Almost perfect. Native level. Native, educated, adult level. How is that?To be honest, if I had not carefully spell checked this post, your use of the language would be better than mine. I can tell you that I would find more errors in as much writing if Alla did it than I find in your posts. The very slight awkwardness seems contrived. Not what I usually see from Native Russian speakers learning English. Just interesting.

Carry on.

[Darnell 8,478]

Here is the guide: http://www.visajourney.com/content/k1k3aos

Just skip the I-131 form though. You have been out of status too long to use AP to re-enter the US should you leave. Don't leave without having a green card first. Your husband will need to fill out an I-864 and provide his most recent tax transcript, letter from employer and pay stubs.

You will need a new medical done, and will need to find a civil surgeon in your area to do that and fill out an I-693 for you.

You may also want to go ahead and file the I-130 along with all your other forms. Since you have already been married for 2 years, then filing the I-130 along with the AOS paperwork can get you a 10 year card instead of the 2 year conditional one. The guide for that is here: http://www.visajourney.com/content/i130guide2

But he needs to provide the I-864 and supporting docs for it.

yup - 2 years is too long.

to the OP -

include the I-130 in your pile of forms. (He has to sign that, by the way)There are more fees for the I-130.

Good Luck !

[Cathi 5,771]

Because the husband is in the military he deserves more leeway? No sale. Take half of what's been told as the actual truth and the husband is not acting like a decent person.

[AstaMarisa 84]

I would like to help you and that is something that Alla and I try to do actually. But as I read more of your posts, particularly this one, I have some concerns.

Now I cut the guy no slack because he is in the military, in fact I may give him less since he is supposed to be defending our FREEDOM, what he is doing to you would seem contradictory.

Alla teaches English. She translates English and interprets English professionally. For hospitals and court proceedings, government agencies. We have two boys who learned English and Alla has TWO masters degrees in English, one from her university in Ukraine and one from a university here...yet YOUR use of English in your posts is excellent. Grammar, syntax, punctuation, articles (usually especially difficult for Russian speakers), spelling. Excellent. Almost perfect. Native level. Native, educated, adult level. How is that?To be honest, if I had not carefully spell checked this post, your use of the language would be better than mine. I can tell you that I would find more errors in as much writing if Alla did it than I find in your posts. The very slight awkwardness seems contrived. Not what I usually see from Native Russian speakers learning English. Just interesting.

Carry on.

Oh actually many people find it interesting, because when I came here I didn't speak at all. I mean AT ALL, I couldn't understand what people saying either. But I was young enough I guess, so it wasn't too hard for me to learn words from TV and use limited amount of words to explain almost everything with this limit. I also didn't have anybody to speak Russian to, so I had to learn or noone would understand me. I also had to go to hospital almost everyday talking to doctors (my son was born with the heart defect and he was in NICU for long time, and they didn't always have interpreter for me so... had to be strong and get into it). I also have a college degree so I use to learn new difficult things.. Well I don't know, I was just living here and learning from people. Thank you for your kind words and for helping.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Thank you, guys for all the information you gave me and advices. I know anybody could be lying, I would be happy to have a conversation in the same room with him and his boss or friends or whoever he is saying these things about me , but he is avoiding this kinda meetings so my friends are on my side and his are on his. His boss is pulling some case on him by the way so I don't think he likes her that much right now. And he is not risking his life if somebody cares about it, he is a navy photographer and he is always here in town just taking pictures, that's what he chose and I don't blame him, he is good at his job, so doesn't matter what it is. I don't risk my life either. But I risk other things, like I wanna be with my son and just be ether with my husband ether alone but with ability to take care of things.

Since I came here I found out a lot of new thing for myself, like I would never think that California police takes ppl to jail without any proof or evidence of crime, it all depends on who called first. And who knows law better. I didn't know that you can be in a house and your husband can be outside calling on you. Well he called on me 9 times and on 8th time they took me just because they had to put somebody in jail. They also dropped my charges, I didn't even have to see the judge. But they put me on hold for immigration reason and then let me go. I just don't feel like I have to deal with him dating others so that's why I never left even he tried to kick me out. He also tricked me not to tell the police what actually happened because CPS would take our child away. So I didn't tell anything. I didn't speak English well then so I couldn't explain why I'm in jail. Ppl were asking me, and I was like "I don't know".

"Then?" How long ago and how did you learn to speak/write English so well if you are not going anywhere? This post, while it has some awkwardness and a few errors is quite good and even includes slang and idioms which were not taught in your English class. "Kinda[/b]" ???? "Ppl" ??? "I was like..." ??? "Wanna" ???? The mispelling of "either" as "ether" is what I would expect to see a lot more of, very common with native Russian speakers. Even ones quite well educated in the language. So few errors makes me think they are contrived.

Carry on.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Oh actually many people find it interesting, because when I came here I didn't speak at all. I mean AT ALL, I couldn't understand what people saying either. But I was young enough I guess, so it wasn't too hard for me to learn words from TV and use limited amount of words to explain almost everything with this limit. I also didn't have anybody to speak Russian to, so I had to learn or noone would understand me. I also had to go to hospital almost everyday talking to doctors (my son was born with the heart defect and he was in NICU for long time, and they didn't always have interpreter for me so... had to be strong and get into it). I also have a college degree so I use to learn new difficult things.. Well I don't know, I was just living here and learning from people. Thank you for your kind words and for helping.

This post suddenly has many more errors than your others. There are more errors in this post, now that I mentioned errors, than in all your previous posts combined. You have been here two years by your statement and you were old enough to marry when you arrived, minimum age 18, far beyond the age which languages are easily learned. You seem to forget that my wife is an English teacher, specifically instructed not only in the language but in the science of teaching it. I proofread ALL of her writing for her Masters degree here and I did actually manage to learn some things about the theory of teaching language, not to mention common errors of a well educated native Russian speaker. Your statements are preposterous. NONE of your statements here are in agreement with any normally accepted teaching program or any expected results with the experience you suggest. Not even an ESL class? Seriously?

English is the most commonly taught foreign language in Russia, which is why Alla was an English teacher there also. Most Russians, particularly young people, have some fairly basic use of the language...you say you had NONE. Simply not plausible.

We would have liked to help you but you are not sincere. Good bye.

Edited May 2, 2012 by Gary and Alla

[AstaMarisa 84]

"Then?" How long ago and how did you learn to speak/write English so well if you are not going anywhere? This post, while it has some awkwardness and a few errors is quite good and even includes slang and idioms which were not taught in your English class. "Kinda[/b]" ???? "Ppl" ??? "I was like..." ??? "Wanna" ???? The mispelling of "either" as "ether" is what I would expect to see a lot more of, very common with native Russian speakers. Even ones quite well educated in the language. So few errors makes me think they are contrived.

Carry on.

Hmm, like when I went to jail? It was first year here. I mean I couldn't say a lot, I said like most important things, that I would feel like I have to say. Like when they put me there I didn't know what "domestic violence" means so I said I was at home, not drunk, didn't do anything, just playing with my computer and my friend told me she saw my husband on dating site so when he came i asked him what is that. He started yelling, broke my computer and ran outside. Then they came. People asked and that's why you are here? I said yes. I found out later that I was actually beating him which I couldn't do really being inside while he is outside. My accent was thick too, even if I tried to say a word it didn't sound right.. maybe.. I'm not sure why my words didn't mean anything to them.

By the way I didn't have any English class, I had a baby right away after I came so I had no time for classes.

[Gosia & Tito 199]

I mean I can file them of course but without him I can't do it all completely, even pay (which is $1070 and I don't work = means I can't pay)

He brought me to the bank on a second day also but they told him we can't have such account. Well he is in a military, may be this has to do something with all this..

Some bank employees don't know anything about account holders and K-1s. My now wife was in my account the day after she arrived and without even a SSN. We added that later to her account so her credit history build ups.

Pretty much the only thing we hold on until the GC arrives was the driver license/id (she does not drive) and only because in TX they are somewhat stupid about this. She has credit cards, bank accounts, etc. We took some time (couple of months after married) to file AOS mostly because she hates paperwork and forms and even when I did filled up the forms, we would check them together and she was not really a fan of it.

As others have noted, the sooner you file and get GC, the sooner you are to citizenship and other benefits.

For what is worth, there is a provision to waive the fee in cases of economic hardship, though i've heard is very rarely granted; others can comment on that here possibly.

At the very least, complete the paperwork with the aids here ad have things ready. Maybe the reason of the delay is dreading filling up more forms -I know I hated that two, but I had to-

[AstaMarisa 84]

Oh ok.. I didn't say I'm not going anywhere, I have friends, they invite me somewhere sometimes, but it's only when they can go and can drive me, so it is not the same when you do your legal stuff. So I can go somewhere if I ask my husband for permission and if someone is ready to take me. But it's different when you have to have an appointment with your lawyer or something and ask your friend to get off from work to drive you there. I might do that but it's just not always 100% that it's going to happen. So I depend on many things. And I wanna be more independent.

And what about my English? Just because I had much time to learn it you don't believe that it is possible to learn it in front of TV? I was 25 when I came and I had doctors and baby teachers to talk to almost every day. Or you don't believe that I'm here for 2 years? Or that I didn't speak when I came? Keep in mind that speak and write are two different things. I can put everything in google translate and get almost same text. So it's nothing special about it.

Well if you don't wanna help me that's fine.