Husband doesn't want to file papers

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Oh I read it alright and at the right pace. So why shouldn't father have unsupervised visitation?

[AF-Wife 181]

Oh I read it alright and at the right pace. So why shouldn't father have unsupervised visitation?

Have you read what kind of man that father is? I wouldn't wanna leave him alone with anybody after what he's been putting his wife through!

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Oh so local Judge knows less about father than you? And denied mother's motion at whim, without fully considering it?

Edited August 18, 2012 by SingleDad2usc

[AF-Wife 181]

The OP and her kids has even through enough! The bottom line is, she doesn't want her kid alone with her husband and it's her right after what happened

Edited August 18, 2012 by AF-Wife

[AF-Wife 181]

No, the problem is your senseless judging and random comments. You are sitting in the glasshouse - throwing stones. Not advisable. There are reasons, why she doesn't wanna leave her kid alone with her husband! She doesn't need to explain herself to you. If you would read everything again why HE DID TO HER, that doesn't speak for a good moral person!!!

Edited August 18, 2012 by AF-Wife

[Penguin_ie 5,995]

*** several off topic and judgemental comments removed. Post constructive advice or do not post. ****

[Ban Hammer 13,445]

one individual thread banned for continuing to hijack the thread.

more to follow should others decide to emulate that behavior.

[Darnell 8,478]

Hi everybody.

Here's some update of what happened recently

Me and my son got accepted to some very good program, so we can live in a nice place for 18 months and have some help there too.

Just few days ago we had a hearing about custody and visitations. My husband brought a lawyer and won NOT supervised visits every other weekend (overnights). I was so upset... I had all records from the hospital about him assolting the child (but didn't have chance to show it!) and the judge also had the letter from mediator who was suggesting her to continue supervised visits for the dad. But I DONT KNOW why she ignored it. So the baby had first visit last weekend, the exchange went well.. I was trying to get a cop to go with me but this person was late so it was just me and husband. He was polite.

I still don't have an attorney, I was trying to get one but they need some minute of the last court hearing, have to go get it. For some reason they didn't have the filed court order this time so I was just running circles around trying to get what they didn't have.

The most important news is my immigration attorney filed my VAWA petition and we are just waiting for acceptance!

Iv read all your last posts. Thank you for sharing your own expirience, I wish I could spend more time reading the forum. But now I have to run.

Hey - some movement ! That's always a plus. Good news on the VAWA case, bad news on the court hearing about temporary visitation rights. I sense it could have been handled differently if you had an attorney present. The only way to fight an attorney is with another attorney, even in court.

Can you get a court-assigned attorney for the rest of the proceedings/hearings you will go through, and soon? Usually ask the clerk of the court about it...

For the moment, you can file a motion to overturn the judge's 'ruling' about visitation rights, citing lack of evidence review by that judge. Do that, soonish.

For now, practice writing 'letters of attestation' about the husband's abuse. Have other people review them and suggest corrections. You can make it 'one letter per instance of abuse' and then you will have a stack of them, later. IMO, if you show those to any judge during a 'temporary visitation hearing' then the judge must be compelled to rule in a different way. You'll also need these letters of attestation for the divorce hearing, itself, submitted in the discovery phase, and you will need them for the VAWA case.

Is ok to practice writing them via hand, using paper and pen, not need a computer for this practice. Later and soonish, you'll need to put them on a computer, and print them out.

Hang in there!!

Edited August 18, 2012 by Darnell

[kennym 275]

Hey - some movement ! That's always a plus. Good news on the VAWA case, bad news on the court hearing about temporary visitation rights. I sense it could have been handled differently if you had an attorney present. The only way to fight an attorney is with another attorney, even in court.

Can you get a court-assigned attorney for the rest of the proceedings/hearings you will go through, and soon? Usually ask the clerk of the court about it...

For the moment, you can file a motion to overturn the judge's 'ruling' about visitation rights, citing lack of evidence review by that judge. Do that, soonish.

:thumbs:

[himher 634]

Best of luck to you. Hopefully things work out for you and the little one.

Hi, I went to court on 18th, i didn't have a chance to talk much, i didn't even show my hospital records, but i got restraining order for 1 year. He was there too, he was talking talking talking, telling a lot of lies on me. However i got it. Then i went to immigr. office and got free attorney to help me with immigr. problem. They said it's actually pretty typical when abuser calles the police first so they will be able to explane it. Also they will help me with my other stuff, like divorce, hearings for spousal and child support. I got som welfare money too, they will pay me some food stamps and some cash. They also will go after him to make him pay them back that money, caz we married. Ok now im printing my pictures with my husband together to proofe we were in love.

Thank you for helping me!!!

Love yo

[Sandra G. 5,054]

I am glad you got a place to stay with your son. You spent several months living in the shelter and you deserve to have your own place now and take care of your son. You are a good mother, a strong woman and believe me soon all the mess will be in the past and you will be able finally to live your life to the fullest.I am always here if you need me ok.Your husband is an abuser and you need to be careful with him. Find a lawyer to help you with the family Court.

Edited August 21, 2012 by sandranj

[AstaMarisa 84]

I came to add some details to what I said before. It's probably not right that I didn't say what exactly my husband did to our child because this way many of you don't understand why I 'm concern about him being with the baby alone, but at the same time I don't want to bring this information here. CPS worker is aware + other authorities too. I also don't say what else he did to me just because it takes me a lot of nerves to even think about it without crying so I don't want to go back to the history of all.

About the judge.. She actually said that she found it good of him that he brought a lawyer, "that means he cares about the child", but I was wondering how is it possible if he cares so much he never helped with any amount of money or any other help (like diapers at least). He saw him just once when he had supervised visits (why didn't see him more?). Plus why he seeks for sole custody and NO VISITATIONS for me at all? To me it is clear he is trying to hurt me by taking the child from me. He does not care about the child. When we lived together he didn't see him much also. I'm not even saying how dirty my son was when dad returned him to me after his first overnight visitation.

The volunteer lawyer will help me hopefully. I just need somebody to talk for me because I have my beg full of papers (my written statements and all records) but I just don't speak in public too well. Especially at court. I never know from what to start and when to talk. I'm thinking if lawyer will not help maybe I should read from the paper? Will it look awkward? It's the only way I can say all what I plan to say.

[kennym 275]

I just need somebody to talk for me because I have my beg full of papers (my written statements and all records) but I just don't speak in public too well. Especially at court. I never know from what to start and when to talk. I'm thinking if lawyer will not help maybe I should read from the paper? Will it look awkward? It's the only way I can say all what I plan to say.

murysa

Personally my heart goes out to you.. I am hoping you can eventually get to a peaceful place in your life.. I know men like your (ex)-husband exists, but I beleive they are not typical. And you seem like a really genuine person and you (everyone) deserve and should find, down the road, a man who treats you like the person you are..

In terms of the attorney.. without searching through all your posts, is this an appointed attorney?

Shouldn't the judge had post-poned the hearing until the attorney was present?

You shouldnt feel bad about you confidence level in a court room.. Nobody feels confident in a court-room.. They can be intimidating and usually the discussion is over my head anyway... You need to push your lawyer to participate or see what can be done to get a advocate on your behalf..

Can any experts chime in and offer her some legal advise on what she should do to get proper representation in these preceedings? If I understood properly, it doesn't seem she was represented in her last meeting with the Judge. Couldn't her lawyer appeal the ruling based on the fact that she wasn't represented and wasn't qualified to present the facts in the court-room...

Any thoughts..

Kenny

:help:

Edited August 21, 2012 by kennym

[SmilesAbroad 27]

Wow, your story is definitely an amazing one. I wish I had seen this topic when it first came up because I would have had quite a lot to say in support of you. I spent four years in the university studying Russian language and everything Russian under a great Professor whose former student became the first US ambassador to Russia who spoke excellent Russian. We traveled as a group to Moscow to meet him and to experience Russia. We even met real Russian students in St. Petersburg who were majors in English. Some of them wrote English better than they spoke (which we noticed after we left Russia and continued communicating with a few of them online Although you didn't have a university education in English, as many have commented, this is NOT necessary to be good at a language. In fact, studying a language in school can inhibit fast and successful mastery of a language. Living in a native English environment, and being motivated to learn (so as to understand your son's medical condition and get him proper care) is a greatly effective way to jump to native standards.

From my experiences with and knowledge of Russians, culture and language I never for a second doubted your English abilities nor did the way in which you expressed yourself seemed to me disingenuous. How you spoke and conveyed your thoughts seemed perfectly "Russian" to me and convinced me you are a real Russian woman, but facing some really hard challenges in your life. I am very sorry that you encountered problems with communication when you first arrived here, and then encountered similar problems of communication and misunderstandings on this site as well. I am so proud of you for seeking help and not being discouraged by the aggressive attacks made against you. This only exemplifies the great Russian spirit of perseverance against all obstacles and suffering. I really admire your courage and I am so proud that you decided to break away now instead of enduring a marriage with him any longer. молодец! You are an inspiration and a great, caring mother. Your son is sure to grow up strong and happy thanks to your great efforts. Keep your chin up and keep pushing until you are free of the mess your (ex) husband caused for you.

BTW, No matter how much one considers themselves an "expert" on a topic, it never justifies such aggressive attacks against another person, especially on a site built for advice and support. Even experts are wrong and the damages to be done here if you are wrong about someone's truthfulness are reason alone to keep your opinion to yourself (or at least express it in a politer manner if you can't resist the urge to speak your mind). That way you won't kick yourself later for being such an a** to someone who is already living with one.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Kyda

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Murysa,

Just a suggestion you might want to consider . . you mentioned your husband brought back your son and he was dirty. You might wish to have another person with you whenever he returns your son and then the two of you check over the child and his things at that time, document anything that isn't good and make sure that this information is available by the lawyer for the judge at the divorce and custody hearing. You aren't trying to do this to be vindictive but to collect any evidence that will help to demonstrate that he is not a good candidate for a responsible parent. If you are able to take photographs as well, that would be good. Do make sure that you do this after your husband has already left, though, as you don't want to let him have too much awareness of your actions. You can present the other person as a 'friend' so don't have it be the lawyer or someone who obviously looks 'official', although it could be someone from one of the services who have helped you so far.

Personal observation - it sounds to me that he got the lawyer to protect his own interests from your charges since he knows he is guilty and not because he necessarily has any care about the child.

Edited August 21, 2012 by Kathryn41