Husband doesn't want to file papers

[SingleDad2usc 71]

What an important thread!!

OP, we had a lot in common: we both suffered false 911 calls, both lived without spousal petition - and are both caring for USC children!

If you have any question on dealing with CPS ("ACS" in NY), read my thread "2012 re-Authorization, male VAWA, children VAWA". I have won all 3 cases vs. ACS (first when they sued me, and the other two when I sued them, self-represented), and they're now totally in my corner helping with the children!

[Deina 8]

Poor you, by how much you had to go thru and justify yourself just because some do not know other cultures or are not able to accept and can not believe the abilities of other people.

I, for exemple didn't learn english in school but from TV!!..just like you. Only that I learn to speak first, in Romania we have for every foreign films romanian subtitle and that's how I learn english by watching american movies...

Also in Romania, maybe in Russia too... police do not intervene in domestic violence! Is not like in America, till they really do something most of the time it is allready to late ... and most of the time the woman's try to complacent the situation, which led them to believe that all is well when it was not.

In America after I've notice women provocate their husbands and use physical force to have evidence of bruising and call the police. That is why many men endure abuse rather than be taken to the police station for violence against wife. But as for you, I can't even imagine how scary must have been for you to have police taking you just because the husband call first.. when there was maybe nothing going on..

I can also understand soon to be your ex-husband behavior... keep you in close with small pleasures here and there for you not to run away or making this small pleasures for the world's eyes so that in case of something he can put yourself in a bad light, or/and abusing your love and holding you in fear of taking the child.

My husband told me short after I came here that some "friends" told him, not to spoil me because they knew/hear other men got married to romanian womans and they left them short after. I am lucky my husband is not easily influenced, loves me, makes my life beautiful and fun and I love him.

So if your husband has this kinds of "friends" that try to depraved you in his eyes only because you are russian then is hard to live without "suspicion minds".. like Elvis said!

I am glad to hear you and your baby boy are in safe and things are moving good for you. Stay strong and God's love be with you always.

[kennym 275]

Hi, just updating. I keep seeing a therapist and she already gave me a support letter for my VAWA petition. On 17th we had a mediation. It was about custody and visitations. He askes for over nightes , I said no. But the judge will decide. He saw our son just once since we in a shelter. It was supervised. I think it went well. I also got my son's actual birth certificate (weird, we never had it). Me and my son are still in the shelter waiting for opening in some transitional housing. I also got a letter from navy , that's from my case manager, he askes me to write a statement about all insidents that happened with my husband, describe all abuse that I suffered. Then the commission with different people (including the command or his represantative) will vote for the decicion of how bad the abuse was and what is the safety plan for me.

Thanks for all your support.

murysa

It's great to hear from you and even better to hear how well you're doing and how things are going for you.. You've stayed strong and commited to your plans and I think that is great.. Dont give up.. Keep doing what you're doing..

And keep the updates coming.. We all are happy that things are going so well for you..

Kenny

[Tanya and Barry 59]

"Then?" How long ago and how did you learn to speak/write English so well if you are not going anywhere? This post, while it has some awkwardness and a few errors is quite good and even includes slang and idioms which were not taught in your English class. "Kinda[/b]" ???? "Ppl" ??? "I was like..." ??? "Wanna" ???? The mispelling of "either" as "ether" is what I would expect to see a lot more of, very common with native Russian speakers. Even ones quite well educated in the language. So few errors makes me think they are contrived.

Carry on.

Gary...I know this is old and I usually agree with you. Tanya can write almost perfect English. Especially if she has time to think about it...like posting on a forum. But, you put her in a stressful situation she would have problems speaking and understanding....Just my thoughts...

[SingleDad2usc 71]

We all have to understand OP's daily reality, aside from adjusting of status. Bitter divorce negotiations, shelter rules, limited freedom and friend interaction, being tied up with medically challenged baby - put all this together, and possibility of depression is a real danger. She doesn't just need warm posts from strangers, she needs friends locally to make her daily routines much happier than mere survival! I'd encourage anyone who is versed locally to be helping her

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Another thought: I'm sure she's highly educated, and would love to continue at it. She's not likely to be happy merely homebound with her baby. Trick is: how can she get accepted into an on-line university program, with no money and status? If anyone on this forum could figure this out on her behalf - that would be the greatest gift of all!

[AF-Wife 181]

We all have to understand OP's daily reality, aside from adjusting of status. Bitter divorce negotiations, shelter rules, limited freedom and friend interaction, being tied up with medically challenged baby - put all this together, and possibility of depression is a real danger. She doesn't just need warm posts from strangers, she needs friends locally to make her daily routines much happier than mere survival! I'd encourage anyone who is versed locally to be helping her

The posts from the VJ members here were very thoughtful & I am sure warmed the OP's heart. She was looking for people here to help und understand here and she did find thy, including warm posts that never hurt anybody!!!

[SingleDad2usc 71]

Not nearly enough. She needs help from one of the educators on this list, to try and get her into on-line university

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Not nearly enough. She needs help from one of the educators on this list, to try and get her into on-line university

Online and for-profit University is a useless enterprise, and the degrees are usually not worth the paper they are printed on. Murysa is doing great and has professional daily help and counsel. Great news and keep it up Murysa!

[Sandra G. 5,054]

When she gets the prima facie determination she can apply for federal financial aid for college( FAFSA), if she wants to study.We email you each other often. She is doing well.

http://ifap.ed.gov/dpcletters/GEN1007.html

http://www.vaw.umn.edu/documents/breakingbarriers/4.2publicbenefitsaccesspdf.pdf

Edited July 24, 2012 by sandranj

[AngelinaBlack 0]

Gary...I know this is old and I usually agree with you. Tanya can write almost perfect English. Especially if she has time to think about it...like posting on a forum. But, you put her in a stressful situation she would have problems speaking and understanding....Just my thoughts...

I will be off topic, but I found it really fascinating to read Gary's description of common grammar mistakes that Eastern European's make:) Being from Lithuania and having learned Russian and English pretty young, I am still bad about skipping articles, as neither Lithuanian nor Russian has articles and it is just not intuitive for me to use them.

I am glad to hear that murysa is doing better, it is sad to read about people who have to struggle so much just due to their spouses...

[AstaMarisa 84]

Hi everybody.

Here's some update of what happened recently

Me and my son got accepted to some very good program, so we can live in a nice place for 18 months and have some help there too.

Just few days ago we had a hearing about custody and visitations. My husband brought a lawyer and won NOT supervised visits every other weekend (overnights). I was so upset... I had all records from the hospital about him assolting the child (but didn't have chance to show it!) and the judge also had the letter from mediator who was suggesting her to continue supervised visits for the dad. But I DONT KNOW why she ignored it. So the baby had first visit last weekend, the exchange went well.. I was trying to get a cop to go with me but this person was late so it was just me and husband. He was polite.

I still don't have an attorney, I was trying to get one but they need some minute of the last court hearing, have to go get it. For some reason they didn't have the filed court order this time so I was just running circles around trying to get what they didn't have.

The most important news is my immigration attorney filed my VAWA petition and we are just waiting for acceptance!

Iv read all your last posts. Thank you for sharing your own expirience, I wish I could spend more time reading the forum. But now I have to run.

[kennym 275]

:wow:

Man, sometimes hearing the stupidity of our judges just makes me sooo angry..

It's great to hear from you.. and it seems you're making real progress... I am sorry when the courts don't consider the history.. just wonder about the rationale behind those kinds of descisions..

Please continue to keep us updated...

[SingleDad2usc 71]

what is this about?

Edited August 18, 2012 by SingleDad2usc

[kennym 275]

what is this about?

It's a long story.. Many pages of reading..

Dificult to summarize... If you dont want to read, not sure if any of us have the time to summarize it for you..

If you're interested, start at page 1...

Start here