Husband doesn't want to file papers

[Leatherneck 693]

I guess I shouldn't hold my breath for even one (1) of the folks to come back and apologize to the OP for the unwarranted, mean spirited character attacks. When all she wanted was patience, understanding, information and guidance.

It's refreshing to know that things are better for you and moving in the right direction, keep your head up. Military justice is different from civilian justice in that, some of his behavior was no big deal in the civilian world, but the military's view of his behavior will be less than admirable. His command will not be very amused once they read any reports and statements regarding your treatment over the last 2 years.

A CO or XO worthy of the brass emblems worn on his/her collar would not tolerate a wife and child being mistreated and abused. That service member is paid an allowance (BAQ & COLA) to care for his family, there's no excuse for not having food in the house, period.

For the VJ member that doesn't feel any UCMJ violations took place, try Articles; 107, 132 and 134, section 2, just for starters.

[Karee 4,190]

Not necessarily. It all depends how/when you learn. For me it was the other way around. I could write nicely in English but I had tons of trouble speaking. Why? Because I didn't have the chance to talk with other English speakers and practice it. On the other hand, I had read many books in English and watched lots of movies with captions. My written English, while not perfect or close to it, was easily 10 times better than my spoken one.

To the OP: if your story is true I sincerely hope you get the help you need. If your story is not true, shame on you for making fun of such problems.

I can read Thai pretty good, but I have no idea what it means. I taught myself by reading the street signs in Bangkok since they are in English and Thai.

Edited June 15, 2012 by Karee

[Sandra G. 5,054]

Just updating her case.She is almost 5 weeks in a shelter for victims of domestic violence..Lots of stuff going on right now regarding child custody,but she is a strong and responsible lady and I am confident she will be to get through all mental abuse she endured for so long.Nobody deserves a such cruel treatment.She is a good mother trying her best to support her child. I am always here for you my dear.

[Leatherneck 693]

.

Edited June 15, 2012 by Leatherneck

[Leatherneck 693]

Hi

I finally got a chance to write something. So we live in a domestic violence shelter, it's all good, my son and I have everything, well at least more than we had in our own house. I got temporary restraining order against my husband. Today we went to court, the hearing was about custody. He wanted full custody and no visitations from me. But judge said full physical custody to me, supervised visitations to him (with his expenses) and legal custody is joined for both of us. None of us had a lawyer at this hearing. I didn't have to pay for anything yet because i don't have an income. What else.. Well its gonna be many other hearings like for restraining order and spousal and child support. But the one about actual divorce is on january 2013. So I guess if I get spousal and child support so I can start getting money from him before the actual divorce. He still gets money for being married and having a child and he doesn't spend any on us so they said he will probably going to have to pay, they will just take off some amount of money off his check for us.

About the immigration part... Nothing is moving yet. I sent some filled papers to immigr office, waiting for the respond. Also trying to apply for welfare food stamps and some cash.

Oh forgot to tell you about this custody thing that he won at first. When he shot off my phone, my son's teacher bought me new one and he didn't know the number. So i went to shelter, he didn't know where I am. But later when I came to file for restraining order the lady that helped me told me that he filed for full physical custody and it was granted. I was shocked but then we figired out that it happened because i didn't come to the hearing for it which i didn't know about and he stated in this paper that he called me and told me about the hearing. Of course he couldn't call me because he doesn't know my number so he lied and this way got custody. But when we put all this on restraining order paper the judge understood what was going on so she granted my restraining order till next hearing (18th) so that canceled his "full physical custody" . So we have the same judge for everything. And he is a petitioner and I am a respondent because he filed for divorce first. It all goes by the same number of case. Whatever seems like they understand my situation and child abduction unit and hospital (all my case managers and social workers) helping me. I also had an interview with my case manager through the navy (JAG), he has a case open about the abuse. So that's what is done for right now.

Please pray for us on 18th.

Again, I'm so happy you're getting the services you need and you're no longer under that stress and trauma. I think you'll be just fine on Monday, the judge has seen ####### like this before.

When his CO learns that you're in a domestic violence shelter, the shitz will hit the fan.

1. The false kidnapping reports to the cops.

2. A married man seeking relationships outside of his marriage.

3. Securing time off from his duties to facilitate those relationships.

4. Not providing for his family -- not fulfilling the immigration requirements as an example.

5. Lying on court documents to gain custody of the minor child.

6. The mental abuse, oh the laundry list is long.

Yeah, he's got some splainin' to do. Wouldn't wanna be in his shoes.

[RichieW 11]

My wife and I have seen Sveta 3 times since she entered the shelter. I don't know where the shelter is, and I don't want to know, but I know it's close by so we see her fairly frequently lately. She's been getting around town using the bus, we often pick her up at bus stops. It's part of the rules that even close friends don't know where the shelter is. Last week she came over and we drank some wine and had some good Oggi's pizza. She seems so much better!! For the first time since I've known her I saw her smiling a lot. Absent were the dark circles below her eyes and the periodic despondent gaze evident in people that are depressed. Her son seems so much more energetic too and smiley. I left posting back post in this thread to her because I had some suspicion her husband might be reading this. I have confidence now she's getting the legal assistance she needs. She appears to be very logical about this whole thing now too, no longer engaging in the "he said this, he said that."

Things are improving.

[TBoneTX 45,663]

My wife and I have seen Sveta 3 times [...] Things are improving.

Appreciate the update and your caring about her, si man. Keep us informed.

[kennym 275]

Appreciate the update and your caring about her, si man. Keep us informed.

Right On! Like the TB said;

For the most part, this whole thread was a real "tear jerk'r"... I felt really woried for her as I read each of the posts.. And not only how she was victimized by her husband, but many here on VJ..

I know she is a long way from where, some would consider, victorious, but it seems to me she has overcome some Huge and Major Events and Circumstances.. Amd frankly, I am in tears that she seems to be going in the right direction...

I see many go through abusive husbands,, I am a gringo, in a predominantly hispanic comunity, and latin men are generally fairly agresive towards thier wives.. But, to add that she had the added problems with language and not familiar with the military and US laws, I am amazed she has made such strides..

If anyones's communicating with her, please tell her that there are people praying for her and really happy she is progressing.. We would love to hear news about how she is doing and questions she has...

Kenny

[rlogan 2,036]

My wife and I have seen Sveta 3 times since she entered the shelter. I don't know where the shelter is, and I don't want to know, but I know it's close by so we see her fairly frequently lately. She's been getting around town using the bus, we often pick her up at bus stops. It's part of the rules that even close friends don't know where the shelter is. Last week she came over and we drank some wine and had some good Oggi's pizza. She seems so much better!! For the first time since I've known her I saw her smiling a lot. Absent were the dark circles below her eyes and the periodic despondent gaze evident in people that are depressed. Her son seems so much more energetic too and smiley. I left posting back post in this thread to her because I had some suspicion her husband might be reading this. I have confidence now she's getting the legal assistance she needs. She appears to be very logical about this whole thing now too, no longer engaging in the "he said this, he said that."

Things are improving.

It's inspirational.

Long ago in the beginning of the thread I understood how not getting the SSN meant not getting the bank account and how she was deceived by her husband into thinking no bank could do it - the whole manipulative power in not helping her adjust status. But I did not read the thread until today!

I hope she is still reading. There really are two options on the adjustment of status, right? One is divorce and then adjustment of status on her own. Based on entering the marriage in good faith. The other is VAWA. I'm not sure what is best but the fact he is horribly abusive including the false arrest record doesn't mean she should automatically do VAWA. I don't know.

A Judge can expunge an arrest record in some states, so that is something to really ask a lawyer's help on, given that it was actually abusive manipulation on the part of her husband that got that arrest into the record. Whether she does VAWA or divorce and adjustment of status on her own that seems important - getting the arrest for domestic violence expunged.

Edited June 16, 2012 by rlogan

[rlogan 2,036]

I thought it obvious, but just to make sure the reason for expunging the arrest by judicial order is that you can truthfully answer "no" to any question about having been arrested. The judge voids the arrest: it was illegitimate and therefore did not happen. Domestic violence arrests screw up all kinds of things, not just immigration. This is going to be a district court judge doing the expungement I think and your other cases on custody or divorce may be going to some kind of family court, but if not then the same judge ruling on divorce may be capable of doing the expungement of the criminal record. That would make it easier and also more likely to happen since the judge is going to know the whole background.

I admit readily ignorance of your state laws and procedures on this, but it seems important enough to look into.

Which law enforcement agency did the arrest? Was it local police, sheriff, or military police? Because if it was military police there is probably a similar process there, and now that momentum is on your side with the military that may be easier than district court - dunno.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I thought it obvious, but just to make sure the reason for expunging the arrest by judicial order is that you can truthfully answer "no" to any question about having been arrested. The judge voids the arrest: it was illegitimate and therefore did not happen. Domestic violence arrests screw up all kinds of things, not just immigration. This is going to be a district court judge doing the expungement I think and your other cases on custody or divorce may be going to some kind of family court, but if not then the same judge ruling on divorce may be capable of doing the expungement of the criminal record. That would make it easier and also more likely to happen since the judge is going to know the whole background.

I admit readily ignorance of your state laws and procedures on this, but it seems important enough to look into.

Which law enforcement agency did the arrest? Was it local police, sheriff, or military police? Because if it was military police there is probably a similar process there, and now that momentum is on your side with the military that may be easier than district court - dunno.

This is incorrect. There have been many discussions on "expunged" records here and also on other forums online and you HAVE to answer yes you have been arrested, then you get your police checks done to show there is no record and it's all good. Expunged records still exist for immigration purposes.

Here's a few links:

- http://forums.immigration.com/showthread.php?309254-N-400-Application-With-Dismissed-and-Expunged-Arrest-Records

- http://www.trackitt.com/uk-discussion-forums/i485-eb/504948355/criminal-background-check

- http://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/expunge-of-a-criminal-record-152599.html

[rlogan 2,036]

This is incorrect. There have been many discussions on "expunged" records here and also on other forums online and you HAVE to answer yes you have been arrested, then you get your police checks done to show there is no record and it's all good. Expunged records still exist for immigration purposes.

Here's a few links:

- http://forums.immigration.com/showthread.php?309254-N-400-Application-With-Dismissed-and-Expunged-Arrest-Records

- http://www.trackitt.com/uk-discussion-forums/i485-eb/504948355/criminal-background-check

- http://www.avvo.com/legal-answers/expunge-of-a-criminal-record-152599.html

I see, thanks. We need the best information here for our immigrants.

So get the record expunged, answer the question as "yes", but then show it does not appear. I would have the order for expungement copied and submitted in that case.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Re expunged records.

You can answer no on most applications such as employments, insurance etc but never to ANY governmental agency.

[Darnell 8,478]

It's inspirational.

Long ago in the beginning of the thread I understood how not getting the SSN meant not getting the bank account and how she was deceived by her husband into thinking no bank could do it - the whole manipulative power in not helping her adjust status. But I did not read the thread until today!

I hope she is still reading. There really are two options on the adjustment of status, right? One is divorce and then adjustment of status on her own. Based on entering the marriage in good faith. The other is VAWA. I'm not sure what is best but the fact he is horribly abusive including the false arrest record doesn't mean she should automatically do VAWA. I don't know.

A Judge can expunge an arrest record in some states, so that is something to really ask a lawyer's help on, given that it was actually abusive manipulation on the part of her husband that got that arrest into the record. Whether she does VAWA or divorce and adjustment of status on her own that seems important - getting the arrest for domestic violence expunged.

IIRC, AOS just on yer own, coming in on a K-1 visa, isn't done. There's no path for it. You've alluded to divorce and then file for AOS - and that path is not available (to the best of my knowledge)

VAWA path, otoh, IS available. I think she has a pile of stuff to qualify, but she must document it. Ye Gods, even a bullet list of it (IMO) would take 3 pages (her husband is an abusive tard, sorry) with one thing per line, but the overwhelming thing (again, IMO) is that SHE's the one taking care of her son and his medical condition, regardless of the ####### that her 'husband' has been slinging. She's constant, on that one thing - to make sure her son has the care his medical condition requires. I'm really surprised there is not a big mention of what the Husband has done about his son's medical condition, really.

OK - enough of my spew for the evening... I pray she gets a great lawyer who has immense gisting skills.

[rlogan 2,036]

right. Duh, she's been here for years but he never filed AOS with her.