Husband doesn't want to file papers

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Here is a link to the Legal Aid Society of San Diego. http://www.lassd.org/about_pro_bono.htm

Here is a directory of free lawyers in California for immigration matters. http://www.justice.gov/eoir/probono/freelglchtCA.htm

You can do it.

ETA: If these people or any people you talk to cannot help you, you should ask them "Can you recommend anyone else who can help me with my situation?" so you don't have to start over. This is important, and a lost skill, I think, since the internet.

Edited May 23, 2012 by Harpa Timsah

[belinda63 3,041]

I really doubt the hearing date is January 2013. Never, ever heard of a divorce case with a wait of 8 months for the first hearing. Maybe you should read it for a third time or could he have altered the date on the papers so you miss the hearing?

You are in a tough situation at this time, you really, really need a good attorney. Your chances of staying in the US are almost zero unless you can come up with some serious proof of abuse.

[AstaMarisa 84]

No the hearing date is on the first page, no doubt. I found it interesting too. Who chose this date - that was my first question. By the way i see that his attorney signature looks like his own, i guess he doesn't have an attorney.

[Asia 2,498]

IMHO you shouldn't be occupied with what he's doing. You should be collecting all evidence you can, or else you'll loose this battle.

[RichieW 11]

Wednesday this week she got a new phone, but has been more or less out of contact.

Her husband has posted the following items on facebook:

"Divorce is never fun or easy, but when a chaplain says you need one, it can really slap your ego."

Then yesterday:

"Got full custody yesterday, now I just got to find Tyler. I am at peace."

My wife and I are unable to get a hold of Sveta, we cannot get through on her new phone. We don't know what her status is.

We tried to help her and counseled her strongly to get a lawyer.

That is the current status, we can only hope and pray things are going OK for her, but it appears her "husband" has the upper hand here.

My wife and I can't make sense of the situation, it's all "he said she said." With that though, we don't want bad things to happen to her or for her to be denied access to her son.

[Adriene H 89]

I talked to his family, his mom knows how he is, she told me long time ago that he is the most ungrateful person in the world and she is trying to stay away from him as much as possible, and she also said that he is extremely angry and that he needs treatment for his anger.

This coming from the one woman in the world who loves

him unconditionally ... speaks volumes about the kind

of character he possesses.

Fingers crossed for a speedy and hassle-free conclusion

to all this whatever the outcome may be!

[cappucino boy 29]

I too have not heard from her either by email or otherwise, I can only assume the worst has happened. I hope that she is okay. I know that if her husband has custody of Tyler she will be having a really hard time dealing with this. She only lived to take care of Tyler and if he is gone I can only think she has given up on life.

Wednesday this week she got a new phone, but has been more or less out of contact.

Her husband has posted the following items on facebook:

"Divorce is never fun or easy, but when a chaplain says you need one, it can really slap your ego."

Then yesterday:

"Got full custody yesterday, now I just got to find Tyler. I am at peace."

My wife and I are unable to get a hold of Sveta, we cannot get through on her new phone. We don't know what her status is.

We tried to help her and counseled her strongly to get a lawyer.

That is the current status, we can only hope and pray things are going OK for her, but it appears her "husband" has the upper hand here.

My wife and I can't make sense of the situation, it's all "he said she said." With that though, we don't want bad things to happen to her or for her to be denied access to her son.

[RichieW 11]

The last time I saw her she was EXTREMELY thin, almost emaciated. I have tried repeatedly to get in touch of her today, but have had no success. Her husband has unfriended me on Facebook.

I do not feel she was suicidal, but I am afraid for her. I feel she may be on the run with Tyler or something. She loves him so much. I've rarely seen a woman dote on her child so much. I will keep trying to find her.

Edited May 27, 2012 by RichieW

[Leatherneck 693]

This is not good that OP has not been seen. However, I have never seen a judge in CA just give custody to a single man, especially a single male in the military or schedule a custody hearing without the couple first going to "mediation" working out an agreement regarding physically custody of the minor child, visitation and getting financial data for the child support which is then made a part of the file to be ruled on before the divorce is granted. Judges (CA) do not use court time to deal with visitation and custody arrangements -- hence the need for mediation, where those things are worked out, then the judge will ask both parties if they stipulate to the agreement as written, if both agree -- he makes an order to such.

[Leatherneck 693]

I just read this entire thread over again -- I am floored at the number of attacks this woman had to defend herself against in her quest to get some advice. She wasted so much time and effort dealing with the skeptics.

How many of those folks will reappear and have the courage to offer the OP an apology, especially those for being so harsh? Now that her ordeal has been corroborated.

Edited May 27, 2012 by Leatherneck

[aaydrian 479]

she was EXTREMELY thin, almost emaciated.

That us not good. Considering her situation and the advice given to her by her believers & non believers this lady makes too many excuses as to why ''this' or 'that' can't be done. Now she's procrastinated so much so that she's backed in a corner leaving only rash decisions as her few options. Get it together, beggars can't be choosers.

[belinda63 3,041]

I am still questioning some of the things that happened. Whether it was through her inability or lack of desire to check on things herself or her trust of her husband or something else, she ignored some very good advice. She still, as I suggested several posts ago, needs to make a trip to the courthouse rather than taking her "spouse's" word for what is going on. She was advised a while back to go to legal services on the military installation and looks like she belatedly did that but still didn't resolve anything.

She needs to go to the courthouse and obtain copies of what he filed or at least look at them with someone who has English as a first language and knows something about divorce or legal papers. She claims she was served only a few days ago with papers for a divorce/custody hearing in January 2013 and I advised her then that I was very skeptical of this being correct as that is a very long time, usually the initial hearing is scheduled for no more than 60 days after filing. Now, based on her "spouse's" facebook page it is assumed she is divorced and lost custody of the child.

GO TO THE COURTHOUSE and look at the file, don't base your actions on what the "spouse" claims is going on. And if he had her served with fake papers (which the MP's would not have done this as it is a state matter, a sheriff would have done it) she may have grounds to fight whatever might be happening.

[Darnell 8,478]

I just read this entire thread over again -- I am floored at the number of attacks this woman had to defend herself against in her quest to get some advice. She wasted so much time and effort dealing with the skeptics.

How many of those folks will reappear and have the courage to offer the OP an apology, especially those for being so harsh? Now that her ordeal has been corroborated.

Won't happen, alas. See, attackers love the 'first push', and rarely , if ever, stand up and apologize. It's be cool to line them all up and hit em with a water canon, though.

[cappucino boy 29]

I know her and I have to say that she has been through alot. I think that one of the things which not apparent to those who write is what do you do if you have no car, no money or anyway of getting any or a job, it's uncomfortable to live at the only place you can call home, your husband who brought you here hates you and won't help you complete your papers and much more has happened. What do you do and you still need to be responsible for a young child. No one is handing you money nor are the agencies that are non-profit that willing to help. What I do expect is that anyone from VJ who reads this thread try and understand how hard this is for a person who support system is no longer in place. She is asking for help and if you can't say anything that is of use or of value to her just don't comment. I for one would like to do as much as I can to help. She doesn't deserve any of this all she done is try and love her child love her husband and make life work in a county and a husband that isn't allowing her to stay. She'd probably left a long time ago but her son is a US citizen and she cannot leave without a passport or her husbands permission, she loves her son.

I am still questioning some of the things that happened. Whether it was through her inability or lack of desire to check on things herself or her trust of her husband or something else, she ignored some very good advice. She still, as I suggested several posts ago, needs to make a trip to the courthouse rather than taking her "spouse's" word for what is going on. She was advised a while back to go to legal services on the military installation and looks like she belatedly did that but still didn't resolve anything.

She needs to go to the courthouse and obtain copies of what he filed or at least look at them with someone who has English as a first language and knows something about divorce or legal papers. She claims she was served only a few days ago with papers for a divorce/custody hearing in January 2013 and I advised her then that I was very skeptical of this being correct as that is a very long time, usually the initial hearing is scheduled for no more than 60 days after filing. Now, based on her "spouse's" facebook page it is assumed she is divorced and lost custody of the child.

GO TO THE COURTHOUSE and look at the file, don't base your actions on what the "spouse" claims is going on. And if he had her served with fake papers (which the MP's would not have done this as it is a state matter, a sheriff would have done it) she may have grounds to fight whatever might be happening.

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

If someone has basically been kept inside for 2 years in a new country, I think it is completely reasonable that that person has the faintest idea where they can go for help. All they might know is stuff from TV. Abused people don't think straight, and while everyone suggested she go talk to army people, she might have feared that the army people would harm her, tell her husband, or make trouble for her in another way. How can you expect an immigrant to understand what rights she has, when she is basically been forced to be an illegal alien by the person who brought her here? To her, it seems like papers appear out of thin air, police show up, she has no idea about the chain of command, what the next steps are, anything. The papers seem difficult to read, they are written in legalese. It took her a day to figure out what these last papers said.

To the OP's friends: Please look into filing a missing person's report. Check in with her son's teacher; she said they were friends.