Husband doesn't want to file papers

[gretchen_darren 67]

the 30 day military id is good. this is just while they check the story. And get any "paperwork" he claims to have for divorce. If I were him I would be worried. He is threatening you so you will stay off base. Stay in contact with the people who gave yo uthe military id, find out when it will become permanent. Talk to the provo office about his behavior. Him calling CPS is bad for him. CPS nearly always favors the wife or the mother. Your predicament is NOT something he wants CPS to get involved in. CPS WILL help you very, very much. When you explain you situation to them, he will be in more trouble then he wants.

He probably swore an oth that you and him were divorced. He is in deep trouble. JAG, security, and others probably WANT to talk with you and INTERVIEW you to know the situation. Keeping you away from base is HELPING him. Like others have said have someone with you. record on phone, mp3 recorder, or otherwise. Records his conversations. These will haunt him later. If this guy continues down this path with you, he will lose heavily in court in many ways. I hope it all works out for you and him in whichever way is going on. Make sure those who gave you the military id know how to find you, and know where you are. Work with the JAG, and Provo's office. as well as base security. If he has been saying he is divorced on base and is not, he could be in a peck of trouble....

[AstaMarisa 84]

He is sending me nasty messages. I had to contact television station , hopefully more people will know about my story. His mom and his friend called me because he asked them to , but they said if I need anything just give them a call, they know how he is... He is trying to get more people on his side but those who know me in person will never say anything bad about me. I don't know if that works that way but I hope it does...

[Darnell 8,478]

so, you've no legal representation and you've not contacted the base provost office. you've no complaint on file with JAG, either.

something's amiss.

Edited May 20, 2012 by Darnell

[belinda63 3,041]

Yep, he couldn't have dis-enrolled her from DEERS without a divorce decree, from what I am understanding she at one time was enrolled. His chain of command seems to have no serious concerns although a failure to support your dependents is a USMJ requirement. If this is not a troll she should have gone at once to legal services on post with a copy of the marriage certificate and had this entire matter dealt with there. He is required by the USMJ to enroll her in DEERS and to provide the housing allowance or adequate housing to her.

Maybe she really is divorced and just doesn't know it, perhaps a trip to the local courthouse?

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Post containing personal attacks and judgmental comments has been removed. Acceptable part of the post is returned to the thread below.

Judgmental, personal attacks help no one. If you have nothing constructive to add to the discussion, then do not participate in this thread. If you do have something constructive to add, please don't include comments that attack or make negative conclusions about the OP.

The million dollar question is why don't you leave your husband?

There are tons of programs for women in your situation.

Shelters, local community support groups, and child aid services.

There is absolutely no reason why you should continue living in this man's abusive household.

.

[AstaMarisa 84]

Hi guys.

So we keep staying where we staying, my husband doesn't know where we are. We went to doctor's appointment today at navy base, it was scheduled before and husband knew when it is, so I thought he could come. Well he didn't come to the appointment, but he was scaring me that the police will find me right , he promised i will go to jail for 4 years , whatever...so he involved them there, in the hospital. They came to me at the pharmacy while I was waiting for my turn to get my son's medications. I will not write the whole story because it would be too long. But all I can say yes, he actually called the police on me again. And they seemed to be polite and understanding to me. They said he stated he had no idea where his child is for more than 2 months and that he assumed the child wasn't alive even. Absurd... After many of his lies opened up they just served me the papers that he brought about the custody, all I have to do is to come to this hearing which is in January 2013, the judge will decide what the custody schedule will look like for us, and they said till this time I am more than ok to have the baby with me and I don't have to tell my husband where we are. Then they asked me if he could see our child, I said of course, so him and our son had a few minutes together.

Then I found out he shot off my cell phone.. of course, don't even know why he didn't do it before. But that's what it is, have to find a way to get a new one somehow. Hard to do anything without money..

By the way my son is ok, he didn't lose weight and he is healthy.

[Asia 2,498]

I think, you should start collecting any evidence possible.

Evidence of abusing, cheating, etc.

Cause if what you're writing is true, your husband will fight (probably dirty), and if you won't do anything, you'll lose.

He's talking about the custody, so I think he's really serious about it.

And if you're gonna just sit and wait, then prepare for losing this battle.

But that's only my opinion. You'll do what you want.

[Darnell 8,478]

Many times, a 'custody hearing' is performed after a 'divorce decree' is granted. You might want to dig a bit, make sure you are married or make sure you are divorced.

the judge will decide what the custody schedule will look like for us, and they said till this time I am more than ok to have the baby with me and I don't have to tell my husband where we are. Then they asked me if he could see our child, I said of course, so him and our son had a few minutes together.

[belinda63 3,041]

Once again Darnell is correct. There is no such thing as a custody hearing between two married people. There has to be a legal separation or a divorce done or in progress for there to be a custody hearing. While you are at the courthouse checking to see if you are divorced also check the papers for the date of the hearing. Custody issues are given priority in every court I have heard of and I have NEVER heard of an initial hearing on custody being scheduled for 8 months out. Something is not right here.

[AstaMarisa 84]

Well the policeman gave it to me and he saw the paper so it is possible I guess. I didn't know it too, but when I called some place they gave me information how to get a custody order, you don't have to be divorced to get it. It is for families with issues. Its different types of custody. I been advices to get a custody order or primary physical custody, but I guess he did it first. I have to look at it with some attorney tho to figure out what it is.

We are still married, the legal office called my friend back few days ago to confirm that. And if we were not i would not be able to get new dependent ID, so its no daub that we are married

[Darnell 8,478]

Well the policeman gave it to me and he saw the paper so it is possible I guess. I didn't know it too, but when I called some place they gave me information how to get a custody order, you don't have to be divorced to get it. It is for families with issues. Its different types of custody. I been advices to get a custody order or primary physical custody, but I guess he did it first. I have to look at it with some attorney tho to figure out what it is.

We are still married, the legal office called my friend back few days ago to confirm that. And if we were not i would not be able to get new dependent ID, so its no daub that we are married

ah - that type of temporary custody order hearing makes sense then. I'm sorry, I totally forgot about 'that category'.

Please understand though - the one that files first, controls most. He's now the plaintiff, yer the respondent...

[AstaMarisa 84]

Me and my son's teacher looked closer to this docs and it is a divorce paper, so he wants divorce and full custody of our son with no my visitations

[Harpa Timsah 13,258]

Murysa,

I cannot tell if you just use casual speech or what, but sometimes it seems like you are not taking this seriously, though you do seem to be getting some help. I just want to give you encouragement, and also reiterate here what has been said, that you need to find additional, professional help. Please make a list of episodes, make documents, and work, with help, on building your case against him. You will have an uphill battle because of your arrests, so you need to counteract that with proof of his manipulation. You need to be on the ball and have a plan. Look up shelters, pro-bono lawyers, women's support groups, catholic charities, the people at his military base or wherever he works, etc and get some help. Also, if you are planning to file VAWA, I think this would be a good time. It's good that police are nice to you, but that alone will not win your case.

[Darnell 8,478]

Me and my son's teacher looked closer to this docs and it is a divorce paper, so he wants divorce and full custody of our son with no my visitations

So he filed the petition for divorce - by law you are required to have a copy of the petition once it's filed, and someone showed up and served you the petition, a copy of it with the filing stamp from the court. That's normal.

If you had plans to get competent legal counsel, you need to speed them along, nowish.

Edited May 23, 2012 by Darnell

[AstaMarisa 84]

I tried catholic charities its not free, i tried immigration center for women and children, it is not free. Tried Russian attorneys (3 of them so far) - not free. 800 at least. My head hurts, i m tired. I just wanna forget it like a nightmare