Husband doesn't want to file papers

[belinda63 3,041]

For you to obtain military health coverage you have to be put in the DEERS system. This can be done by providing a copy of the marriage certificate to the DEERS office and filing some paperwork. If he had done this two years ago the only way he could have had you removed would have been by providing a copy of a divorce decree. Enrolling you in DEERS has nothing to do with his boss or his office or his supervisor. If he is uncooperative in enrolling you there are ways you can go with a copy of the marriage certificate and enroll yourself.

Again if he has already enrolled you the only way to un-enroll you would be with a divorce decree.

[gretchen_darren 67]

I think there are many issues here the OP is facing: the hard part is she is trying to be nice, but also trying to adjust her status. If she leaves to visit family at home, she can never come back for 10 years, plus he has her stuck in limbo regarding marriage and divorce. She is trying to be a good wife. Trying to be patient, but I think it is time he be a man. Russian men are more of a man then this military man is.

1) a husband treating her like a maid and nanny.

2)a good for nothin lawyer who gave her bad advice and needs his A$$ whoopped behind the barn by a potemkin land missle

3) A husband who is royally taking advantage of the situation because he is tired of trying to adapt to the cultural differences.

4) Her trying to learn English, but is tied down by not being able to drive or have money.

5) A husband saying she is not important and cheating on her, and getting away with it.

6) the military Officers not knowing what exactly he is doing regarding his family.

7) she needs to contact the military USCIS visa helpline at USCIS has established a toll-free military help line, 1-877-CIS-4MIL (1-877-247-4645), exclusively for members of the military and their families.

8) contact His immediate superior officer (or the former officer if she does not feel comfortable regarding the current officer.) Time to call his "scamming lies" after 2 years. After 2 years, I definitely would not want to be him answering to his superior officer or a member of his unit when the superior officer found out.

9) if all else fails, contact the local media to her plight and issue.

[duriantaste 44]

May we not have it? Because as he told me I'm not allowed to have any bank accounts until I have my status, green card..whatever it is

And as I been told I can not file anything myself, only my sponsor can (husband)

Let me second that, my wife got her bank account before her green card. We are still waiting for her GC and she has her bank account/atm. We needed a SSN thought. She has that.

[gretchen_darren 67]

View Postmurysa, on 01 May 2012 - 04:00 PM, said:

May we not have it? Because as he told me I'm not allowed to have any bank accounts until I have my status, green card..whatever it is

And as I been told I can not file anything myself, only my sponsor can (husband)

==================================================

You have to file the I-485, I-765, I-693 and G-325A.

Only thing HE has to file is the I-864 -- Affidavit of support. That is the ONLY form he HAS to sign. Everything else YOU sign.

The more we read your posts, the more concerned my wife and I get over the situation you are in. Something just doesn't seem right. Something seems very, very, very wrong. Please call the military USCIS helpline. And contact your base counselor or the chaplain at the base, or your local minister. I hope this resolves soon.

[StvM 1]

Let me second that, my wife got her bank account before her green card. We are still waiting for her GC and she has her bank account/atm. We needed a SSN thought. She has that.

It is true, but not all banks have mandatory SSN policy. I added my wife(then-fiancee) even before K-1 visa. She was here on B-1/B-2, we went to bank, filed out couple of forms, and added her name. It was easy. As long as you have ANY valid visa there are some banks that will do it. Navy Federal would definately do it for spouse of Navy personell.

[gretchen_darren 67]

you know in pondering this. I wonder if the "huisband" even understands how much "trouble" he could get into.

He is treating his wife like a "maid" and telling her she has no right to live here in the USA, and acting like a "single" dad, and not filing forms for her. Waiting for a couple of months is understandable. Not having money is understandable. But if his actions are true to what is portrayed on here. His actions are deplorable. And in court with his statements to his peers and superiors, he would be in TONS of trouble. think of the fact his wife has no ead, no green card, nothing. And she is performing the work of a "nanny" and/or a "maid". He is not even paying her a weekly salary as is manditory for an "Au pair". I even question the lawyer which was seen was a valid immigration lawyer or proper legal counsel. Something on that meeting just "smacks" me of a person saying what the "husband" paid him to say. If this guy has been treating his wife the way she has been saying. He has found a gem of a woman. He needs to wise up his A$$ and realize it soon. Before his A$$ lands him in the pokey for being such a decietful liar to the good ole US of A. He ain't in trouble yet, but if he don't wise up... the military and leavenworth will be the least of his problems.... busted down to "private" and dishonorable discharge and fined beyond able to comprehend.... This is ONE guy the USCIS WOULD make an EXAMPLE of if they got their hands on him.

[AF-Wife 181]

For you to obtain military health coverage you have to be put in the DEERS system. This can be done by providing a copy of the marriage certificate to the DEERS office and filing some paperwork. If he had done this two years ago the only way he could have had you removed would have been by providing a copy of a divorce decree. Enrolling you in DEERS has nothing to do with his boss or his office or his supervisor. If he is uncooperative in enrolling you there are ways you can go with a copy of the marriage certificate and enroll yourself.

Again if he has already enrolled you the only way to un-enroll you would be with a divorce decree.

she will not be able to enroll herself in DEERS. the sponsor, her husband has to be there and sign some papers too!

[AF-Wife 181]

It is true, but not all banks have mandatory SSN policy. I added my wife(then-fiancee) even before K-1 visa. She was here on B-1/B-2, we went to bank, filed out couple of forms, and added her name. It was easy. As long as you have ANY valid visa there are some banks that will do it. Navy Federal would definately do it for spouse of Navy personell.

USAA (military bank) wasn't able to add me, until I got my SSN. only Bank of America did.

[AstaMarisa 84]

Hi guys, so we are at my friend's house now, me and my son, it's all because I can't be around my husband, don't feel safe around him. Don't have money but my friends are able to drive me sometimes if i need to, and husband called the police already telling them i kidnapped the baby. My friends told him before that he can come over and see the baby if he wants to, but he didn't come and he knew where i was, he knew the people also anyway.. but he called the police. They came (me and my son were downtown doing other stuff), they talked to my friend, asked if my son was ok and ..... Long story but the police laughed and left, the "kidnapping" thing didn't work for my husband. He is playing dirty, like he used to.. But at least i have witness and just support. I decided not to contact him without a lawyer. Can't find a lawyer tho.. they not free, one place can help, but i need a military ID, which I LOST yesterday!!!! Oh my god, now I have to have my husband come to the base with me to get me new one. As more I do as more problems I face. They all coming from nowhere! Anyway at least he can't put me in jail and I know that me and the baby are safe for right now. I also decided to divorce, I started realizing that it's not going anywhere and best way for me is to stay away from him.

And I'm amazed how many good people I see they trying to help me, it's just blessing that I'm not alone. Thank you for your support.

[jojolicious 38]

I'm so happy for you. You've made the first major steps in the right direction by moving out and considering the divorce option. Don't let minor hiccups (like losing your military ID) get you down. It will get better from here on out. I wish you all the best.

[AstaMarisa 84]

Hi again. So it all changed again. We had to come back home just to avoid a bigger scandal because husband wanted to see our son so I couldn't really go against it, so we went home, but to be cool with each other we decided that he won't stay with us. I recorded the talk with him, oh my gosh so creepy! At first it was kinda awkward, we both were down and suspicious but then it went so well! He actually told me I can go back to Russia with the baby!!! I was like really??? Ok, we will go! So I hope he won't change his mind! But here is another question: how do I know if he is sending both of us, not just me? Need to find a lawyer I guess anyway. Are they giving you a lawyer when you divorcing?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Hi again. So it all changed again. We had to come back home just to avoid a bigger scandal because husband wanted to see our son so I couldn't really go against it, so we went home, but to be cool with each other we decided that he won't stay with us. I recorded the talk with him, oh my gosh so creepy! At first it was kinda awkward, we both were down and suspicious but then it went so well! He actually told me I can go back to Russia with the baby!!! I was like really??? Ok, we will go! So I hope he won't change his mind! But here is another question: how do I know if he is sending both of us, not just me? Need to find a lawyer I guess anyway. Are they giving you a lawyer when you divorcing?

you need a letter from him certifying that you are free to take the baby to Russia to LIVE. Seeing he likes to play dirty it's a good thing you recorded the conversation because he'd probably have you at the airport ready to board and then he'll have police come and take the baby because you're trying to kidnap it by taking it international. then you'll get locked in immigration jail for being out of status and deported..

So, get a passport for your home country with his signature, get a letter from him stating he permits the child to move to Russia for good. Basically you won't ever be allowed back in the US without a family visa and a waiver so in the event he wants the child to come "visit" him in the US he could try and keep the child and file for custody so you can't really ever agree to that. You need to speak to a family lawyer about what is required to make sure you're covered.

[RichieW 11]

Hello everyone.

I have not been active on this site for years, but it is how I met the OP a few years back. In effort of full disclosure, I only logged in because I knew the OP had been on this site and was posting. I found this thread through searching. I met her husband on this site over 2 year ago when he contacted me here to help file K1 documentation and had some questions about the interview in Moscow. Since then our family has relocated to California (we moved here last October) and we met OP and her family in person. My wife Marina is a good friend of hers, we've had OP, her son, and husband over at our home numerous times.

I would like to offer my $0.02 for whatever it's worth. You can question my authenticity, but I can and will provide supporting evidence in private message if you so require it.

1. What she is telling is is truthful from my vantage point. Her husband appears at times to be very responsible, but it's a front for something else. I get the feeling he will say or do whatever to appear as everything is on the level, but then behind closed doors is a different animal.

2. He has stated to her that her documentation didn't need to be processed. He has given her false information that if she just waited a few years she'd automatically get permanent residency status (and be able to work etc) because of his being a member of the military. His excuse for not filign sooner and doing things the proper way was that he could avoid the fees associated with filing, and it would be automatic being a military member anyway.

3. Her husband is on multiple dating sites. My wife and I found his profile on OKCupid. He states he is a single father looking for "fun."

4. His closest friends are also the people he works with at the public affairs office. He has access to legal council, she does not. He is currently working with an LN2 officer. She has not been able to secure legal council as she does not have the funds available to do so. Earlier this week we attempted to get her access to free council, including a Catholic Center here that offers legal advice to abused women, but she was turned away.

5. On Monday of this week we sent to a VAWA center and was declined assistance because of her "legal record." He has multiple times called the police on her and had them bring her in for abusing him physically. This is patently absurd. On 1 occasion the police were called on her when she wasn't even at home. The OP is 5'9" tall and can't weigh more than 110lbs wet. She actually is so thin, my wife and I are worried about her health.

6. After she received no assistance from the VAWA on monday, she and her son spent time at our house. Her husband came home (after staying at his "friends" for the past week, leaving her with no money for food and only calling once) and noticed they were gone. He called my wife and asked if OP and her son were at our house. We informed him they were. I told him he could come over to see his son but that OP didn't want to see him and that she felt threatened by him. He said everything was fine and that he'd let it cool down for the night. The next morning he proceeded to get the sheriff involved and attempted to make it look like kidnapping. The Sheriff arrived at our home Tuesday morning and spoke with my wife. The OP was downtown trying to file for divorce. I spoke with the Sherrif at length as he called me later at my office, no charges were filed against the OP.

The fact is this man is and has been dating other women. He has repeatedly threatened to take her son away from her and deport her. He often leaves for many days at a time, leaving no food or money or means for them to get food. He has an explosive temper. He will often times show up, take the son, and use the son to go on a date with another woman (baseball game last weekend).

My wife and I have attempted to help, but quite frankly are at a loss on what to do. She's out of status in her immigration, we can't seem to get her legal representation, she has a "criminal record" (but with no charges), VAWA will not help her. We've offered OP sanctuary at our home and she's taken up on that from time to time, but she does not want to be away from her son. She's very afraid of losing the ability to see him every day.

One other thing, her English is quite good, with a surprising vocabulary. She has a very thick accent which makes her speech harder to understand than my wife's English, even though they started learning around the same time. The OP spends many hours per day reading English on her computer, my wife does not.

Just figured I'd clarify a few things. Any advice or assistance you can offer that can help better her situation is appreciated.

-Rich

[AstaMarisa 84]

Hi Rich, lol

[RichieW 11]

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