Husband doesn't want to file papers

[Mark + Melissa 49]

Also, everyone should keep in mind that eventually the I-129F expires, and the U.S. citizen needs to file a I-130 for the beneficiary to adjust status, so that will require his cooperation. Without his cooperation, you will have to determine if you can self-petition as an abused spouse. I agree an attorney may be necessary.

Also, if he is in the military, you should seek help from organizations that help military families or whatever office is on his base that supports families. Members of the military can be disciplined for neglecting or abusing their spouse, and I wonder whether someone there could order him to start supporting you more monetarily and/or file papers to adjust your status so you can work.

Can't she just go to his CO or First Sargent? That's what they are there for.

[Sandra G. 5,054]

Murysa you said" I just don't speak in public too well.." Your English is VERY good but I think you should ask an interpreter in order to become a bit more comfortable in Court. Call the court clerk at least a week before your hearing and ask for a court interpreter ok.

Edited August 22, 2012 by sandranj

[kennym 275]

Murysa you said" I just don't speak in public too well.." Your English is VERY good but I think you should ask an interpreter in order to become a bit more comfortable in Court. Call the court clerk at least a week before your hearing and ask for a court interpreter ok.

Guys

What about her Lawyer? Nobody, not even pure blooded harvard grad should be alone in court.. How can a judge allow anything to proceed and actually rule on anything if both parties aren't properly represented..

It doesn't take a real inteligent judge to see most people lack fundamental skills to manuever thru a complicated legal system much less someone with a language barrier..

What about her lawyer? I think someone who knows their way inside the legal system, should jump in and help.. In my mind, she should have never been alone in court..

Kenny

Edited August 22, 2012 by kennym

[BethandBilly 86]

Get a Lawyer to represent you in court, you can ask that your husband bare the costs of your Lawyer fees when all judgements have been set in place, also file for retroactive child support, you can ask that your husband pay child support up until your son graduates University, make sure he helps pay for child care, health insurance for your son and help with extra curricula activities your son may take up in the future. I know you said you were in the So Cal area, unfortunately I don't know anything about their legal/court system, but consult with a Lawyer and if necessary ask them to file a motion to delay the case if you feel you do not have enough time to get the necessary paperwork etc ready for court. Protect yourself at all costs, after all you have been through you need to look after yourself and your little boy, good luck

Edited August 22, 2012 by BethandBilly

[kennym 275]

Get a Lawyer to represent you in court, you can ask that your husband bare the costs of your Lawyer fees when all judgements have been set in place, also file for retroactive child support, you can ask that your husband pay child support up until your son graduates University, make sure he helps pay for child care, health insurance for your son and help with extra curricula activities your son may take up in the future. I know you said you were in the So Cal area, unfortunately I don't know anything about their legal/court system, but consult with a Lawyer and if necessary ask them to file a motion to delay the case if you feel you do not have enough time to get the necessary paperwork etc ready for court. Protect yourself at all costs, after all you have been through you need to look after yourself and your little boy, good luck

Excellent Advice.. Especially the part about getting the Husband to pay the for the attorney..

Murysa, here is some excellent suggestions to follow up with..

Maybe you can give us at least an idea of what city you're in (dont know if it will compromize your security) so somebody can recommend a lawyer possibly..

In this country, you are not expected to know the legal system, that's why we have lawyers.. everyone is entitled to legal help and you should not be in court alone for something as important as this.. I understand money is an issue, but it seems there are options to address this.. I am not familiar with this, but I wouldnt want to be in court alone, and I am a fairly educated person as well..

Kenny

Edited August 22, 2012 by kennym

[AstaMarisa 84]

Hello

We had a meeting at the court house few days ago, me, husband and our lawyers (I had a chance to get a lawyer! yey). So we came to an agreement that we going to have 50/50 custody. I didn't want to agree but my lawyer said court wants us to share and that the case is very complicated and unpredictable so nobody knows what will happen at the hearing date on November 30th. She said the judge might take time from me and give it to husband so I really got scared that I might lose my baby.. However I'm not happy with what happened but I guess I had to listed to her because she is my lawyer and if not trust her then who to trust? That was my thought because I was really confused... Dad already said he can't have him the days when he will supposed to because he is busy so (thank God) I will just take him.

So this lawyer is only for custody and I still need one for child support, spousal support.

My immigration is going fine, I got prima facie and was hoping that I can get welfare money for myself (because they only pay me for the child), but the turned me down (( I will have to go again. My case manager told me they do it to people because they don't want to pay but I just have to show them what law says and they will most likely pay ))

Oh and most exciting news, we finally moved to transitional housing so we are not in a shelter anymore! I pay 30% of my income and the apartment is nice, it's 2 story apartment, and it's ours for next 18 months!

Also I'm enrolling my son to another school where he can be all day, they have nurses there so his medical needs will be met too.

We are very happy right now, the new custody order will start working October 1 so we have time for each other before I let him go to dad.. I just live my life right now and love my son. I wanna keep the moment.

[AstaMarisa 84]

Maybe you can give us at least an idea of what city you're in (dont know if it will compromize your security) so somebody can recommend a lawyer possibly..

I'm in San Diego if it still matters

[TBoneTX 45,659]

[...]I wanna keep the moment.

Congratulations on all the progress, and thanks for giving us the update! It's great that you're feeling better about things. Keep being persistent, and keep letting us know what happens!

[Sandra G. 5,054]

I am happy for you my dear.

[Vicomi 31]

Thanks for the update and I'm really happy to hear things are moving in a positive direction for you and your son. God Bless(F)

[Newbie608 103]

Hello

We had a meeting at the court house few days ago, me, husband and our lawyers (I had a chance to get a lawyer! yey). So we came to an agreement that we going to have 50/50 custody. I didn't want to agree but my lawyer said court wants us to share and that the case is very complicated and unpredictable so nobody knows what will happen at the hearing date on November 30th. She said the judge might take time from me and give it to husband so I really got scared that I might lose my baby.. However I'm not happy with what happened but I guess I had to listed to her because she is my lawyer and if not trust her then who to trust? That was my thought because I was really confused... Dad already said he can't have him the days when he will supposed to because he is busy so (thank God) I will just take him.

So this lawyer is only for custody and I still need one for child support, spousal support.

My immigration is going fine, I got prima facie and was hoping that I can get welfare money for myself (because they only pay me for the child), but the turned me down (( I will have to go again. My case manager told me they do it to people because they don't want to pay but I just have to show them what law says and they will most likely pay ))

Oh and most exciting news, we finally moved to transitional housing so we are not in a shelter anymore! I pay 30% of my income and the apartment is nice, it's 2 story apartment, and it's ours for next 18 months!

Also I'm enrolling my son to another school where he can be all day, they have nurses there so his medical needs will be met too.

We are very happy right now, the new custody order will start working October 1 so we have time for each other before I let him go to dad.. I just live my life right now and love my son. I wanna keep the moment.

Congrats on the good news...Im very happy that things are looking good for you. Keep the faith and everything will work out just fine in the end....

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Thank you for keeping us up to date. I'm really glad things are going better for you. Hang in there and hopefully everything will be much better soon.

[AstaMarisa 84]

I was wondering if my husband has to be at court with me for my immigration case? Is it going to be some hearing about my VAWA or not?

And also people asking me what's gonna happen to my husband for what he did to me? I mean for at least keeping me dependent and not filing for adjustment of status. Is anything supposed to be done or he will just get away with no responsibility? Does anybody know what usually follows VAWA petition? What usually happens to USC after VAWA of victim is approved?

Edited September 30, 2012 by murysa

[resignedtoinswhim 8]

I was wondering if my husband has to be at court with me for my immigration case? Is it going to be some hearing about my VAWA or not?

And also people asking me what's gonna happen to my husband for what he did to me? I mean for at least keeping me dependent and not filing for adjustment of status. Is anything supposed to be done or he will just get away with no responsibility? Does anybody know what usually follows VAWA petition? What usually happens to USC after VAWA of victim is approved?

There won't be any hearing regarding your I-360 case as you are not in deportation procedures. USCIS will process the application and make a decision. Nothing will happen to your husband. USCIS doesn't have any authority to prosecute or penalize an abuser esp a USC. That is a criminal matter. If the abuser has criminal proceedings pending, then criminal court will take action. In your case there are no criminal charges pending against your husband.

Reading the facts of your case and that you have been the primary care provider for the child, I was quite surprised that your family law attorney advised you to do 50-50% parenting. I can only hope, the attorney had a better perspective of the case and acted in your best interest. It looks like the father is already flaking out on his 50% responsibility. Keep a very good log and account of (with proof like school/daycare pick up and drop off record, pictures and statements from friends etc) how often father doesn't and does exercise his residential time. If for substantial number of times and period he doesn't exercise his residential time over next 6-12 months, then (depending upon your state law) you can always go back to court and ask to modify the parenting plan to make you the primary custodian of the child and reduce father's residential time.

Edited September 30, 2012 by resignedtoinswhim

[AstaMarisa 84]

resignedtoinswhim, thank you. I honestly don't understand why my lawyer suggested 50/50. Me, my son's school teacher and case worker from the hospital, all were really surprised. Well when that meeting took place the supervisor judge said I should feel for my husband because I left him and took the child with me and because I was "stabbing with a knife", but I left because I just couldn't take it anymore and how would I just left the child? And the knife thing was already explained long time ago, if there was any cuts on the door where my husband was saying i was stabbing it then the police wouldn't just let me go without court hearing, and I assume they took me only because I said that nothing happened (because he told me if i say something they will take the child from us) and he told them some big story. But they couldn't do anything other than let me go because it was no evidence and no knife even plus many people called the police when I put on my facebook that he is trying to kill me and I need help (i did it when i locked myself in a bathroom and he took my phone so i grabbed my laptop with me just to let people know that I'm in danger). But it's still on the record, just the fact that he said so and I don't have any idea why this still matters to court if it's already proven that it's not true. I was just hoping that my lawyer would talk for me but in fact I had to say all this myself, she didn't defend me. Maybe because I don't have to pay her? He has to pay his lawyer though...

We still have November 30 date open, they changed it to 20 mins hearing but if I have any concerns I can say that I don't like how 50/50 custody goes.