Transition Issues

[Vicky and Larry 27]

exactly how i am feeling. kind of in limbo. vegas is not quite home yet but london doesn't feel like home anymore.

i think its all about being prepared. if you no your going to be moving to another country start saving money as your going to need it to contribute. my savings will equal what my fiance earns in one year. and i can drive.

Sounds like you have things in order. Unfortunately, I was unable to save as my earnings were supporting myself and my son, and contributing to trips to see Larry. Plus, I was also a student at the time Larry and I met. Life doesn't always work out like a master plan, but I wouldn't change it. Larry and I had a good talk over the weekend about me beating up on myself due to not feeling like I am contributing equally. He reminded me that the little things that I do every day are equally important as the big things, and are little steps towards me getting to the place where I can contribute in other ways. I am going to do my best to be gracious about it all, and find a good place in my head. One day he can retire and I will support him I can't imagine the shock of moving to a place like Vegas, not in a bad way, but I presume that living there is a very different way of life compared to many places. I am in the same boat as you, in that London does not feel like a place I want to call home anymore. Some-day's I wake up and look out the window and say to myself "I live in America".

Good luck to you.

[Elora & Rob 15]

Sounds like you have things in order. Unfortunately, I was unable to save as my earnings were supporting myself and my son, and contributing to trips to see Larry. Plus, I was also a student at the time Larry and I met. Life doesn't always work out like a master plan, but I wouldn't change it. Larry and I had a good talk over the weekend about me beating up on myself due to not feeling like I am contributing equally. He reminded me that the little things that I do every day are equally important as the big things, and are little steps towards me getting to the place where I can contribute in other ways. I am going to do my best to be gracious about it all, and find a good place in my head. One day he can retire and I will support him I can't imagine the shock of moving to a place like Vegas, not in a bad way, but I presume that living there is a very different way of life compared to many places. I am in the same boat as you, in that London does not feel like a place I want to call home anymore. Some-day's I wake up and look out the window and say to myself "I live in America".

Good luck to you.

Vegas is no different to any other place in the US to live. Its allot like California. Obviously they have the huge strip but thats just one 10mile road. theres a huge city around it.

theres a decent amount of work, house prices and rent are very cheap as well as cost of living in general is very low. and the weather is always amazing.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Vegas is no different to any other place in the US to live. Its allot like California. Obviously they have the huge strip but thats just one 10mile road. theres a huge city around it.

theres a decent amount of work, house prices and rent are very cheap as well as cost of living in general is very low. and the weather is always amazing.

Sounds great! I am psychologist in training and so living in such a transient place like Vegas just made me wonder. How long have you been there?

[Elora & Rob 15]

Sounds great! I am psychologist in training and so living in such a transient place like Vegas just made me wonder. How long have you been there?

its not really a transient place. tourism is obviously huge but as i said there a huge community outside. its the 5th biggest city/economy in the US. my fiance has lived there her entire life and her parents have been there for 50 years.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

its not really a transient place. tourism is obviously huge but as i said there a huge community outside. its the 5th biggest city/economy in the US. my fiance has lived there her entire life and her parents have been there for 50 years.

Thanks for that insight. I guess, it's just s stereotype. I hope you get to live there for 50 years too!

[Vicky and Larry 27]

I have put a great link on here, that I found extremely helpful. I am one of those people who finds that understanding the dynamics of a situation actually helps alleviate my anxieties and or issues that I might be experiencing. I think a balanced approach to reading and empowering yourself through knowledge helps us through life's obstacles. I say balanced, because sometimes it can be human nature to attach to an idea and then see yourself through that lense. I think we have to just be mindful that all the information does not have to apply to us, and if some of it does, it does mean that we identify ourselves by it, either. Just understand what you might be feeling and why, and then relax and realise that what you are experiencing is a "normal' phenomena in this context, and then problem solve your way out of it.

Okay, have a read and see what you think?

What to Expect When you Relocate

Edited May 7, 2012 by Vicky and Larry

[Nich-Nick 3,354]

I am one of those people who finds that understanding the dynamics of a situation actually helps alleviate my anxieties and or issues that I might be experiencing.

Good article. Here's a graphic you might like that I nicked from an old discussion in this forum on a similar topic.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Good article. Here's a graphic you might like that I nicked from an old discussion in this forum on a similar topic.

I really like that! I think I might nick it too

[sara80 17]

I do agree with that graphic! I have been thro a relocation 5 years ago, which I wanted and that is exactly what happened. 6 months from when I moved the crisis started but I didn't quit, I went thro it, accepted it and made it work! After 2 years I then decided to finally quit the job and enroll to uni and 3 years after that here I am, about to graduate and ready for another new/exciting/scary at times life change

[Vicky and Larry 27]

I do agree with that graphic! I have been thro a relocation 5 years ago, which I wanted and that is exactly what happened. 6 months from when I moved the crisis started but I didn't quit, I went thro it, accepted it and made it work! After 2 years I then decided to finally quit the job and enroll to uni and 3 years after that here I am, about to graduate and ready for another new/exciting/scary at times life change

Congratulations on graduating and be brave enough to go through so many life changes.

Edited May 8, 2012 by Vicky and Larry

[sara80 17]

Congratulations on graduating and be brave enough to go through so many life changes.

Thank you! I think here we are all brave enough to even just accept such life changes, some ppl would turn them down just because they are scared, without knowing what/who they are actually losing. When I first went to visit my fiance', back then we were just b/f & g/f who barely knew each other, a friend of mine was trying to persuade me not to go, because "what if you find out you actually love him". I am so glad I didn't listen to her!

Glad as well that you are getting back on your feet. Keep the positivity!!

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Thank you! I think here we are all brave enough to even just accept such life changes, some ppl would turn them down just because they are scared, without knowing what/who they are actually losing. When I first went to visit my fiance', back then we were just b/f & g/f who barely knew each other, a friend of mine was trying to persuade me not to go, because "what if you find out you actually love him". I am so glad I didn't listen to her!

Glad as well that you are getting back on your feet. Keep the positivity!!

I think people are skeptical about the whole "long distance' thang, and I can understand that to a point, but if your friends know you well and they can see that what you choose is making you happier, then hopefully they will support you. Sometimes however, people base their judgements of a situation on their own fears.

I had a tougher day today than yesterday, but I am hanging in there. I started a blog. Me and my husband had a little dispute this evening and it really upsets me when I am feeling so sensitive. I will be so glad when I get through all these mixed up feelings. I still don't have my belongings that were meant to be shipped from the U.K by now. The person who agreed to store the boxes is making it really difficult for the shipping guys to pick them up by not being very flexible, so I am having to ask another friend. I really dislike not having my things, and only having a limited wardrobe - a suitcase size that had mostly winter stuff in it.

Stupid sod back in England doesn't realise the impact his actions are having on me, and I don't have any family to help me out.

Sorry, another moan.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

Having a tough night tonight. My husband is extremely busy and under a lot of pressure and it just makes all this harder to deal with. He came home tonight, read his paper on the porch, went for a nap until dinner was ready and then we both spent the night on our laptops. He always seems so tired when he gets home, so I don't like to make demands of him, but when all you have for company all day is a dog and the same old house chores it feels soul destroying. I wish I could disappear.

I have some tummy flu bug, so I can't go to the gym and I really don't feel like going out of the house.

He's not a neglectful husband and he does his best to meet my needs, but I guess, they are a bit needy right now. He went off to bed, because he was p@ssed off, took the dogs bed and closed the door. And, all it does is make me feel like this is not my home and that I should not go in there. I miss my own bedroom and having my own things. I am sick of feeling like all I want to do is cry and I am sick of exposing my feelings on here.

I am struggling tonight.

[Vicky and Larry 27]

We are only recently married (still under 3 months) and I thought we would still have that 'just married' look. Maybe some days we do, but I really don't feel like that at the moment. This tummy bug is probably not helping me. I am going to go to bed.

Edited May 9, 2012 by Vicky and Larry

[Moomin 292]

Having a tough night tonight. My husband is extremely busy and under a lot of pressure and it just makes all this harder to deal with. He came home tonight, read his paper on the porch, went for a nap until dinner was ready and then we both spent the night on our laptops. He always seems so tired when he gets home, so I don't like to make demands of him, but when all you have for company all day is a dog and the same old house chores it feels soul destroying. I wish I could disappear.

I have some tummy flu bug, so I can't go to the gym and I really don't feel like going out of the house.

He's not a neglectful husband and he does his best to meet my needs, but I guess, they are a bit needy right now. He went off to bed, because he was p@ssed off, took the dogs bed and closed the door. And, all it does is make me feel like this is not my home and that I should not go in there. I miss my own bedroom and having my own things. I am sick of feeling like all I want to do is cry and I am sick of exposing my feelings on here.

I am struggling tonight.

Hei there, sorry for posting in a UK thread. I haven't been here so long that I forget where I originate from. Am sorry you're going through some hard times.

The feeling you're describing are precisely what I went through and still go through at times. The frustration of finally being together and then realizing it's like spending less time than we did when skyping. Husband worn out after a day of work and me all ready to be in the company of somebody. That somebody being my husband and not "making friends with mother in law" or something similar. I brought my dog from Denmark and it's was great to preserve my sanity with something from home and my language but there's a limitation to dog talk, training and walking. Even walking her seemed odd because I couldn't recognize anything or see a familiar face just once in a while. I felt like it was a prison at some times. Not really having my husband understand that e.g. when the internet connection was down, then my direct "phone line" to my Danish family and close friends was down as well even though me might not call each other, it was still symbolic and just added to being sad. I started collecting "junk". You know, nick nacks you'd have in your apartment/house that's your junk. Had my mum send me a bunch of stupid luna-stuff(an old cup, 2 teddy bears I've had since yay high, my pillow sheets which were xmas present from my parents). I have about 30 pictures up behind my computer - they're mostly from different times throughout my life spanding from chasing frogs as a 5 year old with brother and cousins to new years eve 2 years ago with childhood friends.

I was here for 7 months without my own transportation or anything to do for 12 hours a day than wait to be with the whole reason for moving. If it's possible, get a scooter, it doesn't require a license to ride anything below 50cc. It'll get you far whether it's to go to the gym, the mall or just fell the freedom in your hair. Believe me - I'm riding around in thunderstorms and freezing my a** off but it feels good to have some sort of independency.

Feel free to pm me. It will get better with time and I hope you keep that in mind even though it's got nothing to do with how you're feeling right now.