Thinking of a divorce after his Visa approval a week ago.

[Darnell 8,478]

For what reason? That's what I'm not getting. I hope they do, but for what? A pulled I-864?

Exactly ! That notice goes out electronically from the IV unit, in real time. All entities receive the notice. When he's looked up in the CBP computer, it's there. He'll be pulled to secondary, and have his visa invalidated.

[Karee 4,190]

Exactly ! That notice goes out electronically from the IV unit, in real time. All entities receive the notice. When he's looked up in the CBP computer, it's there. He'll be pulled to secondary, and have his visa invalidated.

You have more faith in the government than I do. I agree that's how it should work. I just don't see it happening. I hope he gets denied entry, and he should with an invalid I-864.

[beejay 123]

<snip>

not receiving a Birthday gift

crying the whole night

he bought me something for my birthday but he didnt send it.

i felt bad

hoping hed <> communicate with me more.

my parents still go on little dates

my dad keeps on buying little gifts or treats for my mom.

Am I expecting too much?

<snip>

It doesn't sound like the relationship you envisioned for yourself. It sounds like you want something similar to the affection your parents seem to give to each other.

Wanting your spouse to be interested in you and care about you is not asking a lot. It is something that should come without effort when you are in a loving relationship.

People who have trouble expressing affection in one way are usually able to show it in another.

From an outside perspective he doesn't seem unaffectionate he seems uninterested in the relationship.

[WrightFamily 34]

I'm cool with it. we live in the same town. Go Mavs.

Hahaha, GO Mavs? That's last years news....."Go Spurs GO"!

[WrightFamily 34]

Exactly ! That notice goes out electronically from the IV unit, in real time. All entities receive the notice. When he's looked up in the CBP computer, it's there. He'll be pulled to secondary, and have his visa invalidated.

Question:

If her husband gets pass CBP and inner the country, will the Mother of the petitioner still be financially liable for this Husband because she signed the I-864?

I couldn't put this burden on my parents!!!

[arren 6]

So then what if hes that shy guy that cant show his feelings. He always says he will try but then i dont hear from him hardly.

Honestly from the examples you made he doesn't sound a shy guy that can't show his feelings. He seems he's just not interested in you, and the fact that he barely pursues any intimate relationship with you is a pretty clear sign of lack of interest as well if you ask me.

About mental/emotional abuse - I've been in a relationship where I was emotionally abused and I really did not realize I was being abused until I got out of it. And getting out of it was really difficult too, because I kept thinking that maybe I was being too negative and maybe he did care for me after all. If he had any small stupid gesture towards me I thought it must mean he cares, even though it wasn't even remotely close to what everyone does in a normal relationship.

It was incredible how well it felt once I gathered to strength to cut any ties with him - and we weren't even married!

Really - what matters is YOUR happiness and it doesn't sound like you will ever be happy in this situation. I can understand why some posters suggest you try a bit longer, but in your case honestly time is a luxury you don't have: if he comes over and gets his green card you and your parents will be responsible for him for a really long time and he might as well completely ruin your life for what you know. And you have been married for close to two years and he had PLENTY of time to show his love. If he didn't until now he is not going to magically start all of a sudden.

In my opinion there is really no time left to still have doubts after being married for all this time, I would just divorce and cancel the affidavit of support if I were in your shoes. You're still young, need to start enjoying life again

Edited April 29, 2012 by arren

[Karee 4,190]

Question:

If her husband gets pass CBP and inner the country, will the Mother of the petitioner still be financially liable for this Husband because she signed the I-864?

I couldn't put this burden on my parents!!!

Short answer is yes. But only for any govt. benefits he might receive.

Edited April 29, 2012 by Karee

[evelyn1140 18]

Do u think its mental abuse though? Hes never physically abused me. I dont think he mentally abuses me though if he hardly talks to me. Even if we are in the same room for hours.

I think you have heard different opinions and you still have doubts. Sleep in for a couple of days. Do what you heart tells you.

We can give you 1,000 advice. You will do what you heart desires to do

Edited April 29, 2012 by evelyn1140

[Visitor 90]

There are so many posts about unhappy relationships in these forums.

Perhaps those of you who are experiencing such problems should be asking yourselves a different set of questions.

Instead of asking "Why is my spouse treating me like this?" perhaps you should ask yourself "Why am I allowing this unhappiness to continue?"

If you are unhappy only YOU can put an end to it.

If one builds and another tears down what do you gain but hard work?!

[redwhiteblue 6]

Everyone keeps going on about pull this and that. The guy has valid 1 year CR-1 visa in his passport. He's can show up at the airport in Pakistan and they'll give him a ticket. Period. More than likely CBP wont give him an issue upon arrival in the U.S. Again, you can't un-ring a bell.

Well i just emailed the embassy to put a hold and thinking of processing a divorce. Don't know if they will further do something about it.

[redwhiteblue 6]

This has been said over and over.. his visa is only good for 6 months from the date it was issued. If he doesn't use it by then its gone... Also the reason to pull the Affadavit of support whether its k3 or cr1 is to validate the embassy canceling his visa and to give documentation as to WHY they canceled it and IF he does show up to POE he will be turned away... no chance to enter... his visa will either be taken or stamped with something to void it so he can't try it again... otherwise he WILL show up and gain entry...

If some how he does come here, can his affidavit of support be taken away?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

If some how he does come here, can his affidavit of support be taken away?

Nope. Have a read of the I-864 online (from the USCIS site) which explains under what grounds it can be revoked.

This is very serious and you MUST write to withdraw your I-864 immediately and follow the steps that Darnell outlined earlier.

I am very sorry but I do believe you are being used as a stepping-stone to the US. I don't think maliciously, I just don't think he loves or cares about you at all.

[redwhiteblue 6]

Can you remember some of the steps you did?

ie - did you have any document intake at NVC, or no ?

if no, it is a K-3 visa, otherwise a CR-1 visa.

I am reading "THE FOREIGN SERVICE OF THE UNITED STATES REFUSAL WORKSHEET" and it says visa symbol: CR-1.

I did a I-864 and I-864a.

[zapatosfeos 17]

WOw, i am just so sad for you. Not only are you getting emotionally abused but you are basically paying for it.

Love is supposed to feel good, (aside from general everyday disagreements)it makes you happy, it encourages you, it supports you, its unconditional and its FREE.

-- Wishing you the best, what I can offer you is the following: If you learn to love YOURSELF, you will see that you dont deserve to be treated the way you are describing. Why would you want to spend such a crazy fantastic life wasting it on someone who does not love you. And if you are questioning whether he loves you or not, ask yoursef this: If he loved you would you have had the need to have written this post?

Stop trying to figure out what is the best thing to do and start thinking about what is the best thing for YOU !!!!!

**A man who makes you cry is not worth your tears, a man who is worth your tears will not make you cry**

[redwhiteblue 6]

Nope. Have a read of the I-864 online (from the USCIS site) which explains under what grounds it can be revoked.

This is very serious and you MUST write to withdraw your I-864 immediately and follow the steps that Darnell outlined earlier.

I am very sorry but I do believe you are being used as a stepping-stone to the US. I don't think maliciously, I just don't think he loves or cares about you at all.

How to Apply to Remove the Conditions

You and your spouse must apply together to remove the conditions on your residence by filing Form I-751. You should apply during the 90 days before your second anniversary as a conditional resident. The expiration date on your green card is also the date of your second anniversary as a conditional resident. If you do not apply to remove the conditions in time, you could lose your conditional resident status and be removed from the country.

------

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=b70f8875d714d010VgnVCM10000048f3d6a1RCRD&vgnextchannel=db029c7755cb9010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1RCRD

So even if he comes here then i wouldnt have to file the form i-751.