Thinking of a divorce after his Visa approval a week ago.

[Karee 4,190]

yup, is possible to withdraw the visa at the IV Unit in Islamabad.

The easiest way to do it, I've already outlined.

There is more than one 'entry point' for withdrawing an affadavit of support, and it's all based on where the beneficiary is, and what process the beneficiary is currently in.

for you to 'usually see' that one entry point, makes sense to me. I know of other entry points, and have outlined (to the OP) how to handle all based on HER situation, HIS entry point.

Hope that makes sense to you? You use words 'think', 'usually', here in an attempt to be helpful, but I've outlined the exact steps on 'how to do'. Whats the issue, really? I've given the OP the exact steps on what to do, how to do, but you seem to be having questions and also seem to be veering off point. What's up?

No issue. Just trying to clarify. My guess is if that guy got on a plane a week from now after she pulls a non binding I-134 at the embassy in Islamabad, and he has a valid K-3 visa, they aint gonna stop him. That's my point.

[redwhiteblue 6]

There's no such thing as an I-165. It's more than likely an I-864 and I-864a which is a little odd for a K visa unless they request it. Usually it's I-134.

Your right its I-864 and the a.

Im still reading all the posts...sorry for the late reply.

[Karee 4,190]

Your right its I-864 and the a.

Im still reading all the posts...sorry for the late reply.

I don't want to go back 6 pages, but are you sure this is a K-3 visa and not a CR-1?

[dwheels76 5,468]

Do u think its mental abuse though? Hes never physically abused me. I dont think he mentally abuses me though if he hardly talks to me. Even if we are in the same room for hours.

Hunni you are the same age as my daughter. Reading what you have posted breaks my heart. Hell ya its mental abuse. You have said you are depressed, crying, I am sure you fell abandoned unloved. All signs dear of mental abuse.

You are a trained doctor which means you are a very dedicated, smart women. I am sure you would have no problem attracting any man.

You can not allow guilt to control your emotions. And you must stop being so maternal and think you can fix him.

No way is America going to make him loving, attentive and talkative. Baby that's him in living color.

At least you are fortunate enough to see him for what he is before he gets to you and than its harder to walk away.

Just ask yourself this "are you a better person, better inside and out with him in your life and because of him". In a nut shell does your husbands love and care make you want to be better, do better. To reach for higher heights?

Only you can answer these questions.

[Thomas&Cleofe 358]

I don't want to go back 6 pages, but are you sure this is a K-3 visa and not a CR-1?

This is what i have been trying to figure out from the beginning....but she claims not to know what a CR-1 visa is.....and even if she petitioned the K-3 way...she would still know about the CR-1. Help me understand...

[redwhiteblue 6]

WHOA back up here.....he's complaining about your American way of doing things but he wants to come to America??? Major red flag!!! If he doesn't like your American side, ways and culture then he doesn't like YOU and that's not going to change.

He's just using you to get here but for what reason? He speaks about America in a derogative manner so his reasons for wanting to come here can't be good at all. Red flag!!!

Why would HIS family tell you NOT to go there? Another RED FLAG!!! Yeah right!! "We don't want you but we want your money"! Unbelievable!!

This guy has an agenda. DO NOT send him money. Get a divorce and cancel his petition BEFORE he gets here.

So many times I read here in these forums about men who do this to American women yet the woman still doesn't want to "hurt him" or hinder his green card process. (OK sometimes it happens the other way around too where the man is used by a woman)

I ask WHY??? Why do these people who are being used still want to help these people?? The mind boggles. The man obviously doesn't have feelings for you and only wants money sent. You even said the only thing he even talked to you about on the phone was his paperwork or wanting money and tickets sent to get him here. Don't do it!!!

Don't let him manipulate you! If he gets here you AND your parents will be responsible for him financially. You want to prevent that.

Get a divorce, Don't send money! Don't send a ticket and Don't tell him anything! Don't tell your parents either. Just do it!

I wish you the strength to do what you know is right for YOU. You don't owe him (or his family) anything!

Strength and courage to you.

Maybe they didnt want me to come so that i could save money. Plus maybe they need my former room. I dont think they still understands its not refundable. I dont even wanna forward the email of him suggesting i should come for the wedding to him.

I think we do it because we believe in hope. By being nice, we believe our niceness or sincereness will make them see how nice we are. and afterwards if the divorce is done, they can cry what they had. I know my exes still wish they were with me. (Even one of my ex from years ago tried to stop the wedding by coming to that city.) When a girl is loved so much and doesnt have that love at all...that I wouldnt want anyone to go through. Sometimes I think its like a punishment, me leaving them made me get a guy who doesn't show love. Scary.

Love is sometimes taken for granted.

[redwhiteblue 6]

CR-1 and IR-1 are both spousal visas

CR-1 is given when you're married less than 2 years

IR-1 is given when you're married more than 2 years

Big "O"

So Ive been married about 18 months. (Oct 1st 2010).

I read something about if you are between the 18 month and the 2 year period you can apply for a different type of greencard. Anyone know anything about that? Asking because, imagine he comes tomorrow? Anything is possible due to lack of communication.

[Daniel&Theary 30]

You have to do what you feel is right in your heart no one can tell you to divorce or not. I would think very long and hard I wish I would have seen the signs when I first married my ex wife but I was blinded looks like you atleast have some sense of whats really going on.

[redwhiteblue 6]

Okay I have been reading this and how in the world did this relationship get pass the CO? I mean what proof did you show? Cuz you both from the same country? You a doctor?

Girl pull that AOS(affidavit of support) immediately. Otherwise your parents will be on the hook who knows how long for this man if he ever made it here.

Seems he needs your income to get things done including a plane ticket. So please don't buy him one.

Do as the former poster said be nice when he calls not letting him know what is up. First thing monday morning make the calls send that fax. Stop this now.

Get your self respect and confidence back.

You need not import lovelessness, abuse or being ignored. You owe him nothing. And what I have read its not their culture to be so standoffish. Look at EAbbas post her man WOW.

Anyway please follow what Darrell has laid out for you step by step. We are all here for you and rooting for peace and joy in ypour life.

Thank you for your support. Being alone, you just keep on thinking and thinking of what to do. And I am a lone. Am not really talking to my extended family because I am ashamed of him not calling me.

Yeah, I remember telling him nicely that if you dont try to talk to me, how will you know me. The embassy will know that you dont even know what underwear I wear or other personal stuff. Hes never even introduced me to his best friend saying i havent even met wives of my friends and thats the culture here. his mom agreed. uhhh, its too depressing to talk about it. One nice thing he did was if i requested to be taken to the movies every week, although he didnt like it initially but then he got into it. Again, my money was being spent. I spent whatever I had although i didnt make much. Imagine $200/a month as a starting doctor. Do remember he was not working probably because he thought he would get his visa soon. Apri-Nov. No work. I spent what i had to keep my sanity. I coulnt understand the local television station there either. Boy, I dont think i could go back there ever to live, unless I had a social of friends like I did at med school there and a well paying job to pay the bills. Life is so different there, people especially girls hardly get out due to high security. I dont know how the people live in Islamabad. I went to med school in Karachi where EAbbas was. That was indeed a nice city.

[redwhiteblue 6]

Plymouth: Take it from me-- I'm older than you. Know this "live your life while you're alive". Very simple prescription to "cure yourself"--read what you've written--then in a completly unswerving manner leave all connection to this man at "yesterday".. You start a new life tomorrow.. Try your best to actually forget his name. Find a new man or several men and go have the best time that you can possibly have. Make new friends in USA. Party--be a woman--be a girl. Remember this Never never never look back. Never.

Hard to do if you have Pakistani parents. Still have the house rules to live by and I would need to get a great enough job to move out. Right now studying for board exams, (not going great with the depression and all) and working part time. Even if I divorce this man, dating will be out of the question until i move out. I just want to get out somehow without feeling guilty. Give my boards by being mentally healthy meaning feel strong enough to think i can move out and not need a man until im ready.

[redwhiteblue 6]

I don't want to go back 6 pages, but are you sure this is a K-3 visa and not a CR-1?

I just read in the document that he sent me of the visa refusal worksheet it says visa symbol CR-1. I know had filed for a K-3, i didnt know it would change to a CR-1.

They had refused because i didnt know they wanted my fathers support too. i had only sent my mom since she files the taxes under her.

[Karee 4,190]

I just read in the document that he sent me of the visa refusal worksheet it says visa symbol CR-1. I know had filed for a K-3, i didnt know it would change to a CR-1.

They had refused because i didnt know they wanted my fathers support too. i had only sent my mom since she files the taxes under her.

So he can come here and they'll send him a 2 year green card in about a month. However, they'll send the card to the address on the DS-230. THey'll also more than likely put an I-551 stamp in his passport that is good for a year. The I-551 stamp is the same as a green card. I know others disagree with me, but I can't see anything stopping him from coming here except maybe CBP. The guy basically has 1 year green card at this point.

[Confused 2 94]

WHOA back up here.....he's complaining about your American way of doing things but he wants to come to America??? Major red flag!!! If he doesn't like your American side, ways and culture then he doesn't like YOU and that's not going to change.

He's just using you to get here but for what reason? He speaks about America in a derogative manner so his reasons for wanting to come here can't be good at all. Red flag!!!

Why would HIS family tell you NOT to go there? Another RED FLAG!!! Yeah right!! "We don't want you but we want your money"! Unbelievable!!

This guy has an agenda. DO NOT send him money. Get a divorce and cancel his petition BEFORE he gets here.

So many times I read here in these forums about men who do this to American women yet the woman still doesn't want to "hurt him" or hinder his green card process. (OK sometimes it happens the other way around too where the man is used by a woman)

I ask WHY??? Why do these people who are being used still want to help these people?? The mind boggles. The man obviously doesn't have feelings for you and only wants money sent. You even said the only thing he even talked to you about on the phone was his paperwork or wanting money and tickets sent to get him here. Don't do it!!!

Don't let him manipulate you! If he gets here you AND your parents will be responsible for him financially. You want to prevent that.

Get a divorce, Don't send money! Don't send a ticket and Don't tell him anything! Don't tell your parents either. Just do it!

I wish you the strength to do what you know is right for YOU. You don't owe him (or his family) anything!

Strength and courage to you.

+20 for your post I wish OP good luck and good riddance before we get one more America hater into this country who we will have to put up with for the rest of his life. @ OP - Please do him (and yourself AND America) a favor and let him stay in his country.

The highlighted part I think is because if most of these women had strength and will power, they would have seen the red flags a long time ago and saved themselves getting into relationships with these men.

[David & Yulya 7]

Isn't Islamabad usually a pretty strict Embassy? If these two barely talk with each other, what sort of supporting documentation could they have sent to secure this guy a visa? Just seems strange...

[Karee 4,190]

Isn't Islamabad usually a pretty strict Embassy? If these two barely talk with each other, what sort of supporting documentation could they have sent to secure this guy a visa? Just seems strange...

I was thinking the same thing. I see people go through hell there.