Thinking of a divorce after his Visa approval a week ago.

[Darnell 8,478]

Question:

If her husband gets pass CBP and inner the country, will the Mother of the petitioner still be financially liable for this Husband because she signed the I-864?

I couldn't put this burden on my parents!!!

It sorta depends.

IF the I-864 was withdrawn with the consulate and the consulate had the Immigrant Visa revoked

and he still got through the CBP

then no, not at all.

Edited April 29, 2012 by Darnell

[patient2010 93]

wow....this is unfortunate I was always told when a person shows you who they are believe them why would u think he would change once he arrived in the USA? Goodluck with your decision

[pushbrk 12,987]

Yes....His visa has an expiration of 6 months if he does not use it before then.

Then it is a CR1 or IR1 visa. It will expire six months after issue unless he uses it. If you don't buy him a ticket and he can't buy it himself, you have some time to work out what you want to do. If you buy him a ticket and he comes here, you'll be resolving any issues here or not resolving them at all. These life decisions are yours and yours alone to make.

[Chicagoguy 2 27]

Why do you keep asking him for so many answers ? Maybe you should just be strong and do what YOU need to do.

Good Luck

[Gift Of Love 10]

Asssalamu Alaikum sister,

I have read your post and it sounds to me that your husband is using you for american citizenship --which is fraud. I am pakistani and my wife is an American citizen. I have lots of knowledge about the immigration process and divorce process. I am still currently in pakistan, so if you need any assistance, I can help you, insha-ALLAH.

You are correct to feel that your husband's character and behaviors are inapropriate. Even in Pakistani culture, good men treat their wives with so much respect and attention. 32 years is not old, and you can still easily find a good man who will give you all the love and respect you deserve -- i would urge you not to waste another day on this man. You have been patient enough with him, but if he has not improved yet, then do not expect him to later on in the future. If you try to hold on to hte hope that one day, he will suddenly change and be good to you, in a few years, when he get citizenship and leaves you, you will feel that he has wasted even more of your life. You deserve better than this sister!

You are in my and my wife's prayers, sister. feel free to contact me for assistance in this process, (sent you an inbox message through this site)

[Gift Of Love 10]

I got married in October of 2010 in Pakistan and even stayed in Pakistan to wait for my husbands visa. I am a US born citizen, lived in Pakistan from 2000-2006 for medical school and had come back to get married as my parents wished. I said yes to guy who wrote a love letter to me in 2006 saying he was interested in me. I had informed him that if he still loved me that this is the time to ask my parents for my hand. (Dont know why Im crying for being so submissive to my parents.) Well despite my sacrifice, I thought this man would love me. Maybe I dont know what love is but he hardly spoke to me the whole time I was there. Two weeks after my marriage, I started working in a hospital. I would be weirded out when I would be on call and he wouldnt even call me. Even If I would no be on call, I would wait for him to have dinner together only to find out he already ate. We hardly had intimal relationships. He laughed when I said when people who get married do it every day. Its not like I even want it. Well, I worked there until November 2011. He apparently resigned his job in April 2011 after they merged and offered less. He hasnt worked since. Without trying to cause any fight, I tried looking for jobs myself near the end with better pay as I realized how expensive it is living there with my low paying job. After getting severely depressed and crying so much alone. Him not saying much I decided that I needed to go back to the USA. I left again around November, still sending different forms back to the Embassy. He just got his visa about a week ago.

Being depressed there and without really even fighting I asked him if I could get a divorce several times. He never responded. I asked him a month after my marriage, another month later and several times after that. I would simply say that I think we are very different people and I dont think we have a connection. This guy has never been lustful towards me. I know there is nothing wrong with me since many guys wanted to marry me and my friends do say Im attractive. Im not overweight, have a fair complexion and love going to the gym. I believe, Ive done my best for this marriage by sticking around in the heat and the bitter cold of the country. I had to buy an AC and heater myself. I hardly fought-- probably because I got so depressed and thought what was the point. I believe I turned into a zombie living there. No friends, only the hospital and patients to talk to.

After moving to the US, i thought perhaps he will miss me. Since then I think hes only called about 20 times and 75% of the time about paperwork that was filled wrong or how i would send the papers.

I feel like my life is ruined. Im 32 and not happy at all. If this guy has not changed in the one and half years of or marriage, how will he change when he comes here. My depression slowly lifted after moving back and now I fear I will be depressed knowing that this man will not really show the love that you would normally expect from a man.

I was even stupid enough to purchase tickets for his brothers wedding which are non refundable for next week. He and his mom tried to convince me not to come. How depressing is that? He had told me after I had bought the tickets that if he gets the visa hes coming here right away. I told him him the tickets are non refundable. He doesnt even want to attend his brother's wedding second week of May.

I'm thinking if I do go, can I file for a divorce there? I dont have anyone three to help me. He had told me if I wanted to get a divorce, that I should find out myself. I spent hours looking for info but maybe im not looking in the right place. I dont think i can afford a lawyer. Im just too depressed thinking about this whole situation it makes me numb and zone out.

Any advice.? What is the cheapest solution? I live in MA. No kids. (He told me a week after getting married he doesn't want kids until 2 years later and last week says until 3 years more until we are more settled. He apparently thinks I can have normal babies until 40. The irony is that when he sees kids he thinks they are soo cute.)

Need urgent help before my tickets expire incase I need them.

Asssalamu Alaikum sister,

I have read your post and it sounds to me that your husband is using you for american citizenship --which is fraud. I am pakistani and my wife is an American citizen. I have lots of knowledge about the immigration process and divorce process. I am still currently in pakistan, so if you need any assistance, I can help you, insha-ALLAH.

You are correct to feel that your husband's character and behaviors are inapropriate. Even in Pakistani culture, good men treat their wives with so much respect and attention. 32 years is not old, and you can still easily find a good man who will give you all the love and respect you deserve -- i would urge you not to waste another day on this man. You have been patient enough with him, but if he has not improved yet, then do not expect him to later on in the future. If you try to hold on to hte hope that one day, he will suddenly change and be good to you, in a few years, when he get citizenship and leaves you, you will feel that he has wasted even more of your life. You deserve better than this sister!

You are in my and my wife's prayers, sister. feel free to contact me for assistance in this process, (sent you an inbox message through this site)

[faithinGod 8]

It sorta depends.

IF the I-864 was withdrawn with the consulate and the consulate had the Immigrant Visa revoked

and he still got through the CBP

then no, not at all.

If he makes it through CBP and the I-864 has already been withdrawn , would he still get a GC? was just wondering.

Plymouth, listen to Darnell and follow the steps he outlined.

I am a foreign MD currently preparing for USMLE just like you and i can tell you the state of mind you are in now is not the one you need to get a good score in this exam. This exam is one of the most demanding in the world and by continuing to allow yourself to be mentally abused by him you are endagering your future career for wich you have already worked so hard.

Does he understand what USMLE is? Does he know you need his full support right now? My guess is he doesn`t care (from what you already shared).

I know if my husband wasn`t fully supportive of my efforts that would be enough for me to conclude he doesn`t respect me. That`s just my personal oppinion though, i`m not saying everyone should agree.

I really wish you the best and i hope you find peace and make the right decision... soon.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

How to Apply to Remove the Conditions

You and your spouse must apply together to remove the conditions on your residence by filing Form I-751. You should apply during the 90 days before your second anniversary as a conditional resident. The expiration date on your green card is also the date of your second anniversary as a conditional resident. If you do not apply to remove the conditions in time, you could lose your conditional resident status and be removed from the country.

------

http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.5af9bb95919f35e66f614176543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=b70f8875d714d010VgnVCM10000048f3d6a1RCRD&vgnextchannel=db029c7755cb9010VgnVCM10000045f3d6a1RCRD

So even if he comes here then i wouldnt have to file the form i-751.

You said you were married Oct 2010. He was issued the visa a week or so ago. If he waits to arrive until you have been married 2 years he doesn't need to file I-751 at all, he'll get the 10 year card. Seeing the visa is valid for 6 months, it's entirely possible for him to do this...

Please follow up on revoking the I-864. Send a letter advising that you are filing for divorce, that you want your I-864 revoked. If you want to say you believe you have been used for immigration purposes you can but because you lived there they might not believe that and just think you're being spiteful so I would stick to "revoking my I-864 and filing for divorce". Hopefully you can get confirmation of it.

[PMartin37 161]

I wish you the very best with your future. You sound like a very intelligent YOUNG lady. You have said yourself you are attractive and know that other men desire to marry you. I've seen so many women settle for less than they deserve (including myself long ago). You are selling yourself so short!! You have an amazing future ahead of you. If a man loves you...I don't care where he's from or what his culture is...HE SHOWS IT.. by caring about your feelings and desiring to make YOU happy. It's very simple.

On another note...if you allow him to continue to manipulate you (and he will) then you are setting yourself up for more heartbreak. The USCIS grants petition requests based on the fact that you are entering a marriage based upon love and a desire to have an ongoing marital union. If you have thoughts of divorcing him when he comes here..then you are putting yourself in a dangerous position. They might thing YOU are committing fraud. Why Why Why put yourself in that position?

[leith@Ievgeniia 8]

Everyone keeps going on about pull this and that. The guy has valid 1 year CR-1 visa in his passport. He's can show up at the airport in Pakistan and they'll give him a ticket. Period. More than likely CBP wont give him an issue upon arrival in the U.S. Again, you can't un-ring a bell.

actually cbp can refuse entry on any visa. just this week a k1 visa was denied entry because of something silly on cbp person! if it gets into the system financial support is pulled then they can just send him back on next jet home the end !!

[NY_BX 397]

I got married in October of 2010 in Pakistan and even stayed in Pakistan to wait for my husbands visa. I am a US born citizen, lived in Pakistan from 2000-2006 for medical school and had come back to get married as my parents wished. I said yes to guy who wrote a love letter to me in 2006 saying he was interested in me. I had informed him that if he still loved me that this is the time to ask my parents for my hand. (Dont know why Im crying for being so submissive to my parents.) Well despite my sacrifice, I thought this man would love me. Maybe I dont know what love is but he hardly spoke to me the whole time I was there. Two weeks after my marriage, I started working in a hospital. I would be weirded out when I would be on call and he wouldnt even call me. Even If I would no be on call, I would wait for him to have dinner together only to find out he already ate. We hardly had intimal relationships. He laughed when I said when people who get married do it every day. Its not like I even want it. Well, I worked there until November 2011. He apparently resigned his job in April 2011 after they merged and offered less. He hasnt worked since. Without trying to cause any fight, I tried looking for jobs myself near the end with better pay as I realized how expensive it is living there with my low paying job. After getting severely depressed and crying so much alone. Him not saying much I decided that I needed to go back to the USA. I left again around November, still sending different forms back to the Embassy. He just got his visa about a week ago.

Being depressed there and without really even fighting I asked him if I could get a divorce several times. He never responded. I asked him a month after my marriage, another month later and several times after that. I would simply say that I think we are very different people and I dont think we have a connection. This guy has never been lustful towards me. I know there is nothing wrong with me since many guys wanted to marry me and my friends do say Im attractive. Im not overweight, have a fair complexion and love going to the gym. I believe, Ive done my best for this marriage by sticking around in the heat and the bitter cold of the country. I had to buy an AC and heater myself. I hardly fought-- probably because I got so depressed and thought what was the point. I believe I turned into a zombie living there. No friends, only the hospital and patients to talk to.

After moving to the US, i thought perhaps he will miss me. Since then I think hes only called about 20 times and 75% of the time about paperwork that was filled wrong or how i would send the papers.

I feel like my life is ruined. Im 32 and not happy at all. If this guy has not changed in the one and half years of or marriage, how will he change when he comes here. My depression slowly lifted after moving back and now I fear I will be depressed knowing that this man will not really show the love that you would normally expect from a man.

I was even stupid enough to purchase tickets for his brothers wedding which are non refundable for next week. He and his mom tried to convince me not to come. How depressing is that? He had told me after I had bought the tickets that if he gets the visa hes coming here right away. I told him him the tickets are non refundable. He doesnt even want to attend his brother's wedding second week of May.

I'm thinking if I do go, can I file for a divorce there? I dont have anyone three to help me. He had told me if I wanted to get a divorce, that I should find out myself. I spent hours looking for info but maybe im not looking in the right place. I dont think i can afford a lawyer. Im just too depressed thinking about this whole situation it makes me numb and zone out.

Any advice.? What is the cheapest solution? I live in MA. No kids. (He told me a week after getting married he doesn't want kids until 2 years later and last week says until 3 years more until we are more settled. He apparently thinks I can have normal babies until 40. The irony is that when he sees kids he thinks they are soo cute.)

Need urgent help before my tickets expire incase I need them.

To be honest I didn't read the entire thread, so I apologize if someone pointed this out before me.

The bold sentences highlighted above raises a red flag in my head. The superficial idea of not being overweight, having fair complexion (I don't even know what that means. Does having a tanned complexion makes you less attractive?) and friends confirming your attractiveness are NOT elements for lustful behavior. I'm a curvy latina, tanned/ brown complexion and I've never been proposed to before my now husband. Without getting into intimate details, I can assure you lustful behavior is happening..... a lot. Furthermore, I am 36 and he is 29; no kids. Get my drift? Sorry for the comparison, but it somewhat worries me that this insecurity is preventing you from making a rational decision for yourself..... which is the whole point of my post.

If your husband- or significant other for that matter- doesn't satisfy you.. out with the old and on with the new at any age! Right now, it seems you're wasting your time with an undeserving man. You only have one life; live it to the fullest. And yes, you can have normal babies at 45. It's not unheard of.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

[ahmad1966 3]

I got married in October of 2010 in Pakistan and even stayed in Pakistan to wait for my husbands visa. I am a US born citizen, lived in Pakistan from 2000-2006 for medical school and had come back to get married as my parents wished. I said yes to guy who wrote a love letter to me in 2006 saying he was interested in me. I had informed him that if he still loved me that this is the time to ask my parents for my hand. (Dont know why Im crying for being so submissive to my parents.) Well despite my sacrifice, I thought this man would love me. Maybe I dont know what love is but he hardly spoke to me the whole time I was there. Two weeks after my marriage, I started working in a hospital. I would be weirded out when I would be on call and he wouldnt even call me. Even If I would no be on call, I would wait for him to have dinner together only to find out he already ate. We hardly had intimal relationships. He laughed when I said when people who get married do it every day. Its not like I even want it. Well, I worked there until November 2011. He apparently resigned his job in April 2011 after they merged and offered less. He hasnt worked since. Without trying to cause any fight, I tried looking for jobs myself near the end with better pay as I realized how expensive it is living there with my low paying job. After getting severely depressed and crying so much alone. Him not saying much I decided that I needed to go back to the USA. I left again around November, still sending different forms back to the Embassy. He just got his visa about a week ago.

Being depressed there and without really even fighting I asked him if I could get a divorce several times. He never responded. I asked him a month after my marriage, another month later and several times after that. I would simply say that I think we are very different people and I dont think we have a connection. This guy has never been lustful towards me. I know there is nothing wrong with me since many guys wanted to marry me and my friends do say Im attractive. Im not overweight, have a fair complexion and love going to the gym. I believe, Ive done my best for this marriage by sticking around in the heat and the bitter cold of the country. I had to buy an AC and heater myself. I hardly fought-- probably because I got so depressed and thought what was the point. I believe I turned into a zombie living there. No friends, only the hospital and patients to talk to.

After moving to the US, i thought perhaps he will miss me. Since then I think hes only called about 20 times and 75% of the time about paperwork that was filled wrong or how i would send the papers.

I feel like my life is ruined. Im 32 and not happy at all. If this guy has not changed in the one and half years of or marriage, how will he change when he comes here. My depression slowly lifted after moving back and now I fear I will be depressed knowing that this man will not really show the love that you would normally expect from a man.

I was even stupid enough to purchase tickets for his brothers wedding which are non refundable for next week. He and his mom tried to convince me not to come. How depressing is that? He had told me after I had bought the tickets that if he gets the visa hes coming here right away. I told him him the tickets are non refundable. He doesnt even want to attend his brother's wedding second week of May.

I'm thinking if I do go, can I file for a divorce there? I dont have anyone three to help me. He had told me if I wanted to get a divorce, that I should find out myself. I spent hours looking for info but maybe im not looking in the right place. I dont think i can afford a lawyer. Im just too depressed thinking about this whole situation it makes me numb and zone out.

Any advice.? What is the cheapest solution? I live in MA. No kids. (He told me a week after getting married he doesn't want kids until 2 years later and last week says until 3 years more until we are more settled. He apparently thinks I can have normal babies until 40. The irony is that when he sees kids he thinks they are soo cute.)

Need urgent help before my tickets expire incase I need them.

it's so good to be so submissive to ur parents.

[NY_BX 397]

it's so good to be so submissive to ur parents.

unless their orders go against your beliefs and happiness.

[No-Where-Man 147]

Yeap

unless their orders go against your beliefs and happiness.

[redwhiteblue 6]

The bold sentences highlighted above raises a red flag in my head. The superficial idea of not being overweight, having fair complexion (I don't even know what that means. Does having a tanned complexion makes you less attractive?)

undeserving man. You only have one life; live it to the fullest. And yes, you can have normal babies at 45. It's not unheard of.

Good luck with whatever decision you make.

Ive always been attracted to guys that are brown. Living there, Ive had people tell me that i was lucky being light skin, so I dont even know what that means. Maybe its a complex thing. But i love my browns.

About babies...the risk increases as there may be problems with meiosis. We are born with eggs arrested in a dividing state. And with time and exposure to many things, we can harm them. Usually when there is a chromosomal problem due to replication mishap we have a natural abortion without even knowing it. It may look like menstruation. We only notice missed abortions when we dont bleed more than a month and then we have more than usual. Its until someone is tested for BHCG can we know, yes she was pregnant. And that after 10 days of implantation in the urine and 8 days for the blood. I would love a healthy baby. Yes they do testing for all this here e.g.amniocentesis and all but these are test to see if you have a down syndrome kid or any other chromosomal abnormality. Even our wrinkles show our DNA not repairing its as it should.