Report her or Not?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I think a more accurate analogy would be a rabid dog attacking someone. This dog already has her teeth in someone.

I would feel compelled to get out of my car and land a few good kicks if I couldn't find a 2x4.

OP does have to take into account the possible repercussions if the girl looses her new meal ticket and suspects OP is responsible.

OP is safe but her family still within easy reach.

True, and those blood feuds last longer than the memory of what started it all.

[gretchen_darren 67]

hehe, just another of my thoughts. Of course on this one, YMMV. Let :maria" family plus baranguy/purok know what she is doing as well as the "live-in" partner family. I have seen Filipinos "families" "deal" with issues like this quite well in a manner that works extremely well.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

hehe, just another of my thoughts. Of course on this one, YMMV. Let :maria" family plus baranguy/purok know what she is doing as well as the "live-in" partner family. I have seen Filipinos "families" "deal" with issues like this quite well in a manner that works extremely well.

They are all aiding and abetting her, no doubt, expecting their share of the golden goose.

[sunandmoon 450]

if the children are coming here also. maybe the live in partner will be left out in the cold.

[gretchen_darren 67]

Hey give the poor guy a break. He is probably just lacking your sensitivity and keen insite into Filipino culture.

Nope here are some things he did: the roles is somewhat reversed from the OP. Of course though I have tried to caution the girl and her family. Even been looking into how I could bring her here under Au Pair or something.

1) he visited the village. He was so drunk most of the time he could not walk a straight line.

2) he stayed in the nipa hut with the family part of the time. Did not bathe for days.

3) He invited some guys to drink, then bought them one beer to share.

4) he bought a boat for his "fiance's" family without a motor or nets. He told them they could use a paddle. he eventually sent money for a motor then nets. the family has taken a lot of "jesting" because of the way he has done things.

5) he commented in front of his fiance, my wife's closest friend and cousin, how beautiful my wife is in my the home of my wife's family. Making no move to compliment his fiance.

6) We went fishing with them, and caught a shark which they ate for dinner.

7) He had the "bright" idea of catching tuna, then running the tuna up to japan to seel in market. I asked him who would get the money, and just how they were going to haul in tuna on a banka boat. His thought was just need one. Never ever did tell me who was going to get the money or how it was going to be setup.

8) told the girl he was going to leave her there

9) comes out from a friend of his, he has a girl who has a daughter he is supporting in Davao. He denied it many times, until confronted finally by his fiance was going to travel to Davao to find out the truth plus the fact the fiance has an aunt who travels to Davao each month, and the story was going to be checked out.

10) Has spent time bad-mouthing me in the village about my bills, and how "not in debt" he is like me. However, his buying a boat for them did not prove this. My wife's family cannot stand him.

11) he talks of going to live in the village, setting up a sari sari, and having a couple of fishing boats. filipinos like Kanos to invest, but have not heard of Filipinos actually spending money or supporting Kanos directly in business. what I have been told is most Filipinos will support other Filipinos in business with the Kano as the "behind the scenes" investor, not the Kano being a "front man"

12) his fiance has been crying a lot. she does not know exactly what to do now. She wanats a good man, but not sure what his intentions are anymore.

13) i have offered to meet him a number of times anywhere in the USA. but he keeps on avoiding me or anyone in the "family" even though he "claims" to have a house in a nearby city. Question exactly what kind of work he does since he is very tight lipped about it in LA. So far the work claimed has been all over the place.

14) been extremely verbally abusive to me even though I am good friends with his fiance and her family.

15) talked to my wife on the phone just shortly after my wife and I got to the USA. I was not privy to this, and he hid it from my knowledge until I confronted him about knowing.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

if the children are coming here also. maybe the live in partner will be left out in the cold.

Until the divorce and once she becomes a USC. I know one case where she didn't even wait that long, and cuckolded the Kano husband shortly after they were married. The sucker even hired an attorney so that she could adjust status. Last I heard, she found a way to get her Filipino boyfriend into the US.

Edited April 30, 2012 by ☼

[Laser1 63]

Nope here are some things he did: the roles is somewhat reversed from the OP. Of course though I have tried to caution the girl and her family. Even been looking into how I could bring her here under Au Pair or something.

....

He doesn't sound like a bad guy; just new and naive; apparently jumping into things there too quickly.

[actob99 156]

Nope here are some things he did: the roles is somewhat reversed from the OP. Of course though I have tried to caution the girl and her family. Even been looking into how I could bring her here under Au Pair or something.

1) he visited the village. He was so drunk most of the time he could not walk a straight line.

Easy to do because all of the relatives and neighbors want to drink with you!!!

2) he stayed in the nipa hut with the family part of the time. Did not bathe for days.

Sounds like too drunk having fun to bathe, not a reson not to like someone.

3) He invited some guys to drink, then bought them one beer to share.

4) he bought a boat for his "fiance's" family without a motor or nets. He told them they could use a paddle. he eventually sent money for a motor then nets. the family has taken a lot of "jesting" because of the way he has done things.

He at least bought them a boat and ended up getting them everything they needed in time. Everything in life doesn't happen overnight, maybe was short on cash. Have you seen his accounts?

5) he commented in front of his fiance, my wife's closest friend and cousin, how beautiful my wife is in my the home of my wife's family. Making no move to compliment his fiance.

Take the compliment.

6) We went fishing with them, and caught a shark which they ate for dinner.

In the Philippines they eat everything, ever been out in the woods? Not much wildlife.

7) He had the "bright" idea of catching tuna, then running the tuna up to japan to seel in market. I asked him who would get the money, and just how they were going to haul in tuna on a banka boat. His thought was just need one. Never ever did tell me who was going to get the money or how it was going to be setup.

Sounds like a filipino business plan, not sure why this is relevent.

8) told the girl he was going to leave her there

Where?????

9) comes out from a friend of his, he has a girl who has a daughter he is supporting in Davao. He denied it many times, until confronted finally by his fiance was going to travel to Davao to find out the truth plus the fact the fiance has an aunt who travels to Davao each month, and the story was going to be checked out.

MAybe wants to forget an ex, is he still supporting her? Are they in a relationship?

10) Has spent time bad-mouthing me in the village about my bills, and how "not in debt" he is like me. However, his buying a boat for them did not prove this. My wife's family cannot stand him.

Now the truth comes out, sounds like jealousy? To this day I still get amazed at the stories they can make up about a happy relationship due to jealousy. Never seen anything like it in the world, CRAB MENTALITY!!!!!

11) he talks of going to live in the village, setting up a sari sari, and having a couple of fishing boats. filipinos like Kanos to invest, but have not heard of Filipinos actually spending money or supporting Kanos directly in business. what I have been told is most Filipinos will support other Filipinos in business with the Kano as the "behind the scenes" investor, not the Kano being a "front man"

Sounds like more jealousy. WHy do you care, you are moving the whole village to the states...

12) his fiance has been crying a lot. she does not know exactly what to do now. She wanats a good man, but not sure what his intentions are anymore.

Im sure you have a couple recruite's set up for her as you previously stated in a post..

13) i have offered to meet him a number of times anywhere in the USA. but he keeps on avoiding me or anyone in the "family" even though he "claims" to have a house in a nearby city. Question exactly what kind of work he does since he is very tight lipped about it in LA. So far the work claimed has been all over the place.

Maybe he doesn't like you, get over it. He doesn't need to be your friend. And his work is none of your business unless he wants it to be.

14) been extremely verbally abusive to me even though I am good friends with his fiance and her family.

Maybe he doesn't like you invading his turf and talking to his family. He doesn't have to like you because you know his fiancee's parents...

15) talked to my wife on the phone just shortly after my wife and I got to the USA. I was not privy to this, and he hid it from my knowledge until I confronted him about knowing.

Good you confronted him.. "I was not privy to this" sounds like your wife didn't tell you right away also???

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Sounds like more jealousy. WHy do you care, you are moving the whole village to the states...

[Adriene H 89]

You know what bothers me? I tried to call some sort of ASPCA or pound, or shelter or something one day for some random reason I don't remember... I was told there isn't one anywhere near me. I happen to live in a "dead zone" (no pun intended) where I'm too far from the 2 big towns who would deal with it... I have absolutely zero idea who I would call in this area if I spotted animal cruelty, or an animal in distress or whatever... life in Houston was scarier but at least that was one thing I knew there!

In that situation, I'd try calling the Highway Patrol =)

Sorry ... used to be a 411 operator and folks would call

with scenarios like this all the time and wonder what to

do.

[sunandmoon 450]

let's see, that's now two boats for the village. I think it's been mentioned there are 3 other females with fiancees. sounds like the village will soon have a small fishing fleet.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

let's see, that's now two boats for the village. I think it's been mentioned there are 3 other females with fiancees. sounds like the village will soon have a small fishing fleet.

Maybe they can arm the boats and kick the Chinese poachers out of Filipino waters.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/362301-china-philippines-locked-in-naval-standoff/

Edited May 1, 2012 by ☼

[gretchen_darren 67]

because I have to go back and visit in the village. I feel for the OP here because she may be going back to visit family which may be in the same "puork" as Maria and her "libe in" partner.... It can be hard to watch a trainwreck occur.

He wants to leave her in the village where she is. He has said he will NOT bring her to the states. He claims to be a "trust-fund baby" but does not act like he has money. Supposedly is still supporting his daughter in Davao (this just came out after 2 years). He met them online first. But I caught Gretchen's eye, and we met in a few weeks. Nothing was ever mentioned on him from what I recall, but searching notes. He was going after the same girl then. His fiance (girlfriend at the time) was our escort while I was there. Supposedly he kept on not wanting her, then decided he did after I started bringing Gretchen to the USA. From what I was told in his drunken state, he made the drunken Filipinos in the village look good. People in the village bathe daily. No one in the village misses a daily bath.

As for the phone call just after my wife got here. I confronted all parties to let them know I knew and was not happy it was hidden from me. I nearly sent Gretchen home because of it. She may be naive, but that does not mean stupidity goes along with it. the guy was first to befriend her on facebook while I was in the air coming home to America. At that point I searched him out and found out all about him. You would think I would also being paying attention to phone calls/ chats/ emails as well when we first got in whether it was at my house or someone in the family. when she found out I knew, she understood just HOW much I did not trust him. I found out through just by accident on looking at online accounts. He had called the "family number" when she was visiting there to hide it from me. I told her it was her choice. If she did not love me, and wanted someone else, that was fine with me her choice. I wold understand. (nothing about taking her back home or anything, just let her decide.) Her decision was me. I don't deny her guy friends. However, he is one guy I just don't trust and after being called every name in the book by him and a few I had to look up, I was not impressed by his mannerisms. He is also seems to be a "gameplayer". Maybe I care more about people or think you should respect a person. rather then just go and use people, then move on. My first interaction with him, was that he just used people then moved on when bored with them. In the beginning, he stated, he might bring his girl to the USA, get her a degree, then leave her and move on to another girl. No mention of marriage or being tied down to one girl. (Also, I work for a telecommunications company, you think they would know I could easily have things watched for a couple of days just to check things out. My group support American Idol voting.)

I feel bad for the OP. No matter what she does, nothing may happen, or the trainwreck already happened. Obviously, the Kano can't trust his filipina wife as she is alreayd sleeping with her past BF who she knew before him. He should have known better then to marry her with 2 kids and not asking about the dad or getting to know the kids well. The kids are getting an example on how to manipulate people to their own means. the Kano "step-dad" will find out sometime what is going on, just a matter of when. She has done it smart by marrying him there believing he cannot divorce her not realizing he can divorce back in the states without having to go through the lengthy process in the Philippines. If I were the OP, I would really find out who the Kano is, provide him with documentation and evidence. Anything he needed. At least he could save himself issues. once he finds out, the trust will be gone anyway.

Maybe they can arm the boats and kick the Chinese poachers out of Filipino waters.

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/362301-china-philippines-locked-in-naval-standoff/

well the "small fishing fleet" will be all "banka boats" can't do much with those....

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

Honestly, I would probably just mind my own business, specially if I'm not affected of to their marriage situation. But if the husband gonna come to me and ask me personally, then I will tell him coz I'm not gonna lie for her . But seriously, for me it's too complicated to get involve to other couples marriage, specially with the problem like this. Just my thought.

Seriously.

The OP seems to know too much about this.

An advice to OP, how is your relationship with your SO, perhaps focus on that? Just a suggestion.

I once saw a friends Wife at a bar once with someone else and in unquestionable romantic situation. I instantly phoned my friend and told him what I am witnessing, right there and then from the bar. They are still married but it is not my place to judge, but to report instantly at a moments notice (if valid) and not to spend too much of my own time dwelling on it.

[Dan and Judy 614]

4) he bought a boat for his "fiance's" family without a motor or nets. He told them they could use a paddle. he eventually sent money for a motor then nets. the family has taken a lot of "jesting" because of the way he has done things.

10) Has spent time bad-mouthing me in the village about my bills, and how "not in debt" he is like me. However, his buying a boat for them did not prove this. My wife's family cannot stand him.

As long as your boat is bigger, you are in the clear