Had American ignorance affected yours or your spouse's adjustment to life in the U.S.?

[Laveau 67]

That happened in Dallas to my friend's ex who is from Peru. Bouncer didn't accept his passport as a form of ID to get into a bar. I agree that that is very stupid.

[faithinGod 8]

Through my many visits to my fiancee in the US, I never had anyone of my fiancee's family or friends or acquaintances for that matter, make any kind of comment on my accent, which is a combimation of australian-british-american. Or the fact that I was foreigner.

But in our small town in Southern MD, there was on instance that left me flabbergasted!

We went into a local store, to buy some wine, the cashier politely asked for ID so my fiancee showed her his driver's license and I pulled out my passport. The girl looked at it and said that they didn't accept passports as forms of ID!!! and then proceeded to refuse to sell us the wine. I asked to speak to the manager, who informed me that they don't accept any form of ID that has not being issued by the United States! That to my eyes is ignorant and alil xenophobic..

Wow , that`s weird!

When i used to smoke i always used my romanian passport to prove my age and never had a problem.

I`m sorry this happened to you.

[elmcitymaven 9,712]

It happened to me too when using a US Passport! Back before I could drive, and I was on a visit back home to the States, I'd use my passport as ID, usually with no problem. The only time it was an issue was at a baseball game, when I was sent to bring back beer for my parents, with whom I was attending the game. The bartender refused to accept my passport as ID, did not understand that I didn't drive so I didn't have a driver's licence, and couldn't figure out was a passport was. He walked off with my passport to show his manager, despite me telling him NOT to saunter away with it. The manager came back, there was much staring at the passport, checking out the stamps, etc.

Finally my mom came to see what was taking so long. I explained the situation and she turned to the bar staff and said, "I'm her mother and I know exactly how old she is, which is old enough." That was apparently sufficient ID for the manager, who sold me the beer and gave me my passport back. "Next time," he told me, "bring your licence."

[Psoas10 17]

Well I remember when I was in college in in the early 90'. I tried to beer from the local store in Independence OR, and my Hawaii state drivers license was not accepted. They said only Oregon ID was allowed. This also in a college town too. The liquor store had no problem with my ID. No wonder why I hate the Mainland sometimes.

[TnJ 131]

Well I remember when I was in college in in the early 90'. I tried to beer from the local store in Independence OR, and my Hawaii state drivers license was not accepted. They said only Oregon ID was allowed. This also in a college town too. The liquor store had no problem with my ID. No wonder why I hate the Mainland sometimes.

Don't feel too bad about that one. I've been a citizen since birth, but you made me remember some hassles I would get when I still had my under 21 license. The license had a bright red boarder around my photo and stated "under 21", but I used it until it expired. I was over the age of 21 for some time before it expired, and of course, my birth date was in clear sight on the thing. Still, some would refuse to sell alcohol.

[TnJ 131]

That happened in Dallas to my friend's ex who is from Peru. Bouncer didn't accept his passport as a form of ID to get into a bar. I agree that that is very stupid.

Yes, ignorance isn't the word for that behavior. Stupid indeed.

[EminTX 131]

This goes in all directions, though. How about when your foreign-born beloved says something racist or crappy? My husband has been here in the US for one month. We live in Houston. The famous "Sanctuary City" that is so well known for its tolerance and encouragment to NOT assimilate into US culture and the bragging that the diversity of subcultures here easily puts the UN to shame.

My South American husband wanted to go to KFC. The counter-guy had his name badge stating that he was "Jose" and he was clearly of Latino bloodlines, most probably Mexican from his features. My beloved asked him, "¿Hablas español?" The guy said, "I'm sorry. I only speak English." My husband then blurts out, "¡¿Por qué no?! ¡¡¡Eres Latino!!!" (Why not?! You're Latin-American!!!)

This was the first time since my beloved has arrived that he has met someone who was obviously Latino that was completely Americanized and without any language ties that are South of our border. He was shocked. His excitement at eating in the FAMOUS Kentucky Fried Chicken and lack of experience with the diversity that we have here resulted in an insensitive outburst. The guy was clearly sensitive about this and I felt bad for him.

(My response to Mr. EminTX was, "Oh yeah? YOU are in Houston! Why don't you speak ENGLISH?!?!?" The counter guy grinned and was obviously pleased to hear what he wanted to yell back.)

[yousufwalton 0]

ive not read all of this but alot of it.

Just wondering to all the americans here ( born and raised) have you had the chance to live as an immigrant ( more then just a month or so like long term ) in another country.

it changes the way you think about alot of things.

i will have lived in indonesia for 2.5 years when i return to the states soon.

[LeftCoastLady 441]

ive not read all of this but alot of it.

Just wondering to all the americans here ( born and raised) have you had the chance to live as an immigrant ( more then just a month or so like long term ) in another country.

it changes the way you think about alot of things.

i will have lived in indonesia for 2.5 years when i return to the states soon.

I lived in France. While it makes me empathetic towards those who are newcomers in the U.S., I still believe everyone goes through an adjustment period of living in a new place, especially if there are language and/or cultural changes involved. And part of that includes having a thick skin when encountering people who may have little to no personal exposure to those from another country, a different religion, and/or speaker of a different language.

As I mentioned earlier in this thread, one's experiences in the U.S. will greatly vary depending on where you live. Metropolitan areas, college towns and other places where there's a higher likelihood of Americans who a) have a passport and b) have actually used it may be (relatively) easier on the adjustment to life in America than Small Town, USA where perhaps any exposure to other countries or cultures is culled from the TV or Internet.

Edited May 6, 2012 by LeftCoastLady

[Mike B. 231]

ive not read all of this but alot of it.

Just wondering to all the americans here ( born and raised) have you had the chance to live as an immigrant ( more then just a month or so like long term ) in another country.

it changes the way you think about alot of things.

i will have lived in indonesia for 2.5 years when i return to the states soon.

I spent approximately a year in Peru. I'm not sure it changed the way I think about too many things. One thing I did learn is that it everyday scenarios like being in a KFC which get frustrating when you're speaking a foreign language. My Spanish is pretty good, and I can sit in Spanish-language conferences on Latin American politics and foreign relations and understand what is being said. I still, however, sometimes get thrown off by stupid little things like ordering a hamburger and then being asked a ton of questions I wasn't expecting in rapid succession (Do you want fries with that? Will you pay one sol more to make your drink a larger size? Would you like to donate a sol to the Lima volunteer firefighters? We're out of aji, is it okay if we just give you ketchup? We just put the burgers on the grill so is it okay if you just step to the side and wait for 5-10 minutes? Sorry, I don't have change for this, do you have a smaller bill?). It's actually a lot harder to deal with those sudden curve balls than most people realize. At some point you just want to throw up your hands and say "look, just take whatever money you need to take in order to give me my damn hamburger." So I actually sympathize with foreign-language speakers who find themselves sometimes bewildered by what is otherwise fairly basic English.

[TBoneTX 45,309]

One thing I did learn is that it everyday scenarios like being in a KFC which get frustrating when you're speaking a foreign language.

Si, man. In the food court in the huge mall in Guayaquil (Ecuador), I tried to order tacos from the Taco Bell, but they were out of tacos. They managed to communicate this to me, past my limited understanding of any Spanish, plus my bestartlement (cool new word, si man) at a Taco Bell's being out of tacos. Similarly, the KFC in the food court in the huge mall in Cuenca (Ecu) was out of chicken. At least I knew what "no pollo" meant, si man.

I managed to order 6 hamburgers at the Burger King in Quito (Ecu) loaded with lettuce & onions despite my having requested "no lettuce & no onions, no man," si man.

Most people in Ecu seem to be fairly understanding when I say "No comprendo mucho Espanol, no hombre" (I don't understand much Spanish, no man," si man). That is, those who don't respond with alarm and point me toward the nearest restroom, no man.

[catknit 144]

I think living in another country helps you sympathize with your foreign SO greatly. I lived in India with my husband before we moved here....

BUT, I think the toughest adjustment for both of us is where we settled in the US. I went from the NYC-Phila corridor in central NJ [anything and everything I wanted within an hour, diversity galore, airport/flights to anywhere from the local airports, etc etc etc] to an agriculture-based backwater southern town in the bible belt. Delhi was a breeze compared to this. The husband concurs and if/when we get a ticket out of here, we're gone. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice place to visit [we have some hot touristy spots in the area] but not a place for us to live long term. I think I suffered more culture-shock than he because my expectations of what life SHOULD be like here. I firmly believe if we do move to a more congested/diverse/lively place, he will go through culture shock AGAIN and I will feel at home [finally]. In sum, his culture shock will be greater through his 2 doses....

[Mike B. 231]

"No comprendo mucho Espanol, no hombre" (I don't understand much Spanish, no man," si man). That is, those who don't respond with alarm and point me toward the nearest restroom, no man.

To me, this makes sense neither in English nor in Spanish. Color me confused.

[Mike B. 231]

I think living in another country helps you sympathize with your foreign SO greatly. I lived in India with my husband before we moved here....

BUT, I think the toughest adjustment for both of us is where we settled in the US. I went from the NYC-Phila corridor in central NJ [anything and everything I wanted within an hour, diversity galore, airport/flights to anywhere from the local airports, etc etc etc] to an agriculture-based backwater southern town in the bible belt. Delhi was a breeze compared to this. The husband concurs and if/when we get a ticket out of here, we're gone. Don't get me wrong, it's a nice place to visit [we have some hot touristy spots in the area] but not a place for us to live long term. I think I suffered more culture-shock than he because my expectations of what life SHOULD be like here. I firmly believe if we do move to a more congested/diverse/lively place, he will go through culture shock AGAIN and I will feel at home [finally]. In sum, his culture shock will be greater through his 2 doses....

I grew up in the Princeton area and, as I'm sure you know, Central NJ has tons of Desi cultural things going on. You can watch Bollywood movies in the theater up there. The Indian population is pretty large; I remember the third most-spoken language in my Central NJ high school (after English and Spanish) was Gujarati. So maybe if you get to move back there you can find some things to take the edge off the culture shock.

[catknit 144]

The Desi community in central NJ is HUGE. Hubby was shocked when I took him to New Brunswick for a thing and there on the local theater's billboard were all the recent bollywood releases. Then, the next strip mall had a subzi market [indian veg store]. Then, there was not only a mosque by the highway [on rt1 in south brunswick] but we also drove by the temple [or gurdwara] right outside princeton proper.

Don't get me wrong, I grew up in Hunterdon county, we were surrounded by farms. But, they were small, family dairy or horse farms with towns every mile or so. Plus, 20 minutes in any direction yielded a mid-size metro area.

Here, we have a 5&10, a hardware store, and a grain elevator. Oh, and a neighbor addicted to inflatables, every single holiday something is on the lawn.

But, getting back to the OPs original topic - he hasn't heard a peep out of anyone about either his race, ethnicity, or religion [he has an uber-Muslim name, no way with that name he'd be anything but Muslim].