Had American ignorance affected yours or your spouse's adjustment to life in the U.S.?

[Mike B. 231]

My wife hasn't dealt with any really serious examples of in-your-face racism, which actually somewhat surprises me because I do think that there is a tremendous amount of xenophobia and racism in this country, even if we like to pretend that that type of thing died in the late 1960s. That being said, we do live in Washington DC, which has a large Latin American population, and my wife spends a lot of her time dealing with fellow immigrants. Basically, almost all of her friends are also Latin Americans, and none of my friends are idiots, so in her day-to-day dealings with people it is mostly positive experiences.

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

Some of the most shocking remarks I've heard expressed at a workplace were actually in the UK, towards a Chinese girl (this was not in London). When I worked in Hong Kong, I was amazed at the things my Indian co-workers said to a Filipino about his country and people. I could never imagine hearing those things said in my officer here in LA.

Americans can be pretty ignorant about the wider world, but I think racism knows no boundaries.

[Glyn and Kathy 288]

Even though the U.S. is a self-proclaimed "melting pot", I still find many people to be abrasive toward foreign nationals looking to establish themselves here. My fiance himself is a very well-traveled man and has said to me that the U.S. is much more intolerant than the U.K. by comparison. People here have not been shy about directing racial slurs, comments about his accent, and other "tart" comments.

Other actions have been less subtle but still insulting such as giving him dirty looks when he speaks Hindi or telling him to "speak American" when he answers in English with a strong pronounced Indian accent.

Most of the time, we both just brushed these comments off but it's extremely difficult for me to control myself when someone is being so disrespectful to the man I love. Most of the time, I believe that the comments stem from ignorance rather than contempt or spite.

I'm just curious if anyone else has had issues adjusting to American life because of comments directed at that they were not intended to be rude but came across as insulting.

I think you find it where ever you go. I currently live in the UK (my daughter and I are USC's) with my UKC hubby. We both (my dd and I) have had MANY comments made to us about being "yanks" and many insulting comments...that probably weren't meant that way. Even about they way we talk, and we speak English!!!! My daughter called me from school two days ago to tell me that "everyone is making fun of me because I'm American". There is a pretty big backlash against immigrants in the UK right now...and it doesn't matter WHERE they come from.

I honestly think, no matter what country you travel to, you will find ignorant, rude, and just plain nasty people...you just have to rise above them and ignore it.

[No-Where-Man 147]

Racism is everywhere. But experiencing it is at different levels depending on what country you are in, the history of the country toward specific groups(stereotypes..etc).

As a muslim I did not directly experience that, and the times I was indirectly faced with it, I was able to use my knewledge of history and events to defend politely and put everyone in their place if needed (thanks to my wife who is very well-educated about the history of religions,race and society in the US).

Edited April 28, 2012 by no_where_man

[pddp 240]

Sure, racism is everywhere. But why is it such a taboo subject to talk about racism and xenophobia in AMERICA? (Or ignorance/fear, to be more exact) This is a US immigration forum, is it not?

[Sayha or bust. 71]

And this type of behavior only occurs in the US? Sadly, this happens in every corner of the globe. Please be careful with the sweeping condemnations of any group.

Agree! I've been in Europe and Asia and have seen many odd behaviors that Americans would deem peculiar. My wife included. Oh well, that's life. To each their own .

[LinaMD 8]

I have heard insulting comments all my life but only in the US I let it get into my head. I don't have an explanation why but I had never had problems with my accent and far from perfect English or my origin before I came here. My confidence is definately affected by the issues I have and until I deal with them even the smallest remark could ruin my day. Another thing that ruins my day are those darn automated customer service systems that don't catch a word I'm saying but then again my husband hates them too.

[j and c 8]

I suggest you study the "Caste System" in India...they make us look like rookies.

[Darnell 8,478]

ohh yes! I will tell you what happened to us a few weeks ago. My husband and I went to a Barbershop to get his hair cut. There were 2 barbers with 2 patrons. My husband and I were waiting for one to finish so he could have his turn in the chair, BUT in the mean time one of the men getting his hair cut was talking about him being a Minister at a church. The Minister looked at my husband ( who is from Egypt and is Muslim ) and ask "Do you go to church son"? My husband answered no I am Muslim I go to a local Mosque. The Minister replied "Why? you're going to hell anyway" You can never go to heaven no matter how many times you pray and it doesn't matter that you don't drink or use drugs you will go to hell and I will go to heaven! He then said you don't even pray to the right God! You can imagine that I almost fell off my chair, I could not believe someone who preached the word of God would JUDGE another person. I spoke up and said He prays to the same God as you! He said my dear you're very wrong! I was so mad inside of myself, But I remained calm ( yes it was so hard) I saw that the minister was ignorant and at that moment it was the Minister I felt sorry for. I was raised by great parents who accepted others as they believed, not to degrade anyone for their religion.I knew my husband was hurt by his words but at the same time I knew in my heart my husband was the better man. The minister ask Hany to come to his church and he would make him see the truth. Hany Thanked him and said I feel the way I was brought up is the right way,the minister laughed. As the Minister was paying to leave he said, Now you come to church on Sunday Wow! I can't wait to tell the congregation that an Arab is coming to my church. I looked at him like he had flippedout. What I do know is God heard that comment and end the end I don't think it will find him a way to the Golden Gates of Heaven. It's very difficult in America for anyone from another country as ppl here do not know about their culture and what they do know isn't exact facts. So this continues..........

I hate ignorant religious bigots. You can bet his congregation is full of folk exactly like him.

I say show up anyway, with 4 dozen exlax-imbued chocalate brownies, drop them off next to the donuts.

(Sh|t-storms is fun, make one, today? )

[aayitrun 66]

i am an indian myself and i feel indian are way intolerant compared to americans. sure there are idiots everywhere, but i have white, black, brown friends who just hang out without caring, but in india, its like oh u cant talk to that guy coz hes from a different cast and u cant date this girl coz shes a lower caste.

[tru_loves_journey 117]

The OP question was "Had American ignorance affected yours or your spouse's adjustment to life in the U.S.?" and also said, I'm just curious if anyone else has had issues adjusting to American life because of comments directed at that they were not intended to be rude but came across as insulting.They're asking others about their experience's after they arrived in the US.

I agree it's not only the US but hurtful words hurt and don't we hope someday ppl will learn to keep their comments to themselves, Yes I'm a dreamer. Honestly I could make a list of insults my husband has taken. He just brushes them off like he don't hear them. I'm not so nice and I get angry, the words ring in my ears. As an American I KNOW they're ignorant ppl because it's what I have had to view my whole life. The fact is anyone from any country that has something nasty to say are going to say it. It's the person that way not where they come from.

I hate ignorant religious bigots. You can bet his congregation is full of folk exactly like him.

I say show up anyway, with 4 dozen exlax-imbued chocalate brownies, drop them off next to the donuts.

(Sh|t-storms is fun, make one, today? )

Ohhh honey the things that ran through my mind, lol ... I love the way you think

[Darnell 8,478]

ya, alas, the problem I've found with religous bigots and racists and bigots in general,

is that they usually lack enough intelligence to listen to any possible 'training' you might be able to tell them.

Actions speak louder than words, for the retaliation, always .

Exlax can find it's way into many a baked dessert, just saying.

Totally unrelated - I do note it's a smaller demographic, aye?

There's Americans,

then there's the ignorant folk who live in America,

then there's the individuals who are messing with YOU.

I tend to concentrate on the one's messing with YOU, forget about those ya not have direct interaction with.

[Mithmeoi 29]

Rude racial comments are everywhere not just the US. While I lived in Europe I heard MANY jabs taken at America, even had some family members of my hubby telling him I'd be fat or dumb or even a man (lol). In Belgium there's quite a race clash between the Belgians and certain minorities too.

As for my hubby, he's never had any issues here. He loves being here. If anything the people that speak with him are interested in the fact he's from another country and ask him stuff about that. He's never told me of anyone poking fun at his accent or anything like that.

[Sabian 4]

I think it depends what part of the US you are in. Most Americans are very tolerant and friendly. I think most countries have some form of racism or ignorance. I think the US is one of the greatest countries in the sense of expressing your cultural/religious diversity. US laws are some of the greatest in the world on protecting minorities.

[newlyweds2010 208]

Never had issues with the way I talk. On the contrary, many people in our area speak with a funny American accent and use strange words. I try to correct them all the time ("Repeat with me: Lorry. Not Truck. Lorry"), but hey, they are stubborn.