Abusive Immigrant Husband

[Ayman___ 92]

Not sure if you can wait for this transformation. It might be a very bumpy road and it might never happen.

Maybe you could try an Alanon meeting just to talk with others who might help you.

[Sandra G. 5,065]

farid&lisa your comment is disgusting to say the least. No one deserves to be abused.If You don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all!. You should educate yourself and learn that the scars of domestic violence and abuse run deep. Mona was victim of domestic violence at the hands of her abusive husband.

Mona81 I am so sorry for all that you have been through. I hope soon you look back and say " I was a victim and moved past it". You deserve better my dear.I just sent a private message for you, check your inbox ok.

Edited April 23, 2012 by sandranj

[No-Where-Man 147]

I will join every one here and say that I am so sorry for what happened.

You did the right thing.

You took the proper steps toward this situation.

However, I would love to add that you might wana contact USCIS, and ask to talk to a tier one person and let them know you want to withdraw the petition as you are filing for divorce over domestic violence.

You stated he was getting straight everytime there was an immigration process. Alcoholic people usually can get nasty regardless. that definitly smells fishy to me and alert for a possible fraud( and I would definitly report that to USCIS).

No one deserve to live with an abusive partner that does not show signs of change.

Take care.

Edited April 23, 2012 by no_where_man

[bigdog 376]

Protect yourself and family first, deal with the rest at necessary. This is terrible.

[mona81 1]

thank you every one for your ideas and support! As of right now I have not pressed charges. in my state the statute to press charges on DV is 4 hours with in the physical abuse. so sadly i can not unless he violates the dvpo and he isnt stupid, he knows a run in with law enforcement would be bad.

Thank you for the idea of alanon. I have been thinking about it.

I will set an INFOPASS appointment and take a copy of all the court documents. I will keep you all posted. Thanks again

<3 Mona

[Sandra G. 5,065]

where is the moderator to expel Ahmad 66 and farid&lisa from VJ?. I am reporting both. I am convinced the VJ do not need ignorant and narrow-minded people.

Edited April 24, 2012 by sandranj

[Ban Hammer 13,530]

two posts removed and two members banned from the thread for judgmental comments. several posts quoting those judgmental comments removed, one returned below minus the quote.

Well, first of all... a drink or two once in a while is not always bad. I never saw him drunk, only saw him drink once before we were married (that is over 2 years of skype sessions). Secondly.... When he first got here he was amazing (the first 2 years only saw him drink a few times in those 2 years never did i see him DRUNK). It wasn't until he worked at a bar for over a year that he started getting drunk. Once he started getting drunk on a regular basis ( two-three times a week), he changed. My choice was not to marry a drunk or get abused during his drunken rampages. when he is sober is not abusive.

where is the moderator to expel Ahmad 66 and farid&lisa from VJ?. I am reporting both. I am convinced the VJ do not need ignorant and narrow-minded people.

moderation is report driven. we don't read all threads, we depend on the members to report violations.

Edited April 24, 2012 by charles!

[Sandra G. 5,065]

Thanks Charles!.

[Iyawo Ijebu 157]

well good muslims do not drink because it is haram (forbidden) because it changes who you are. but muslims are human too and make mistakes and loose faith, just like any other religion. they also are not suppose to eat in restaurants that serve alcohol, or work in around alcohol. his problem is that he wanted to be like every one else and forgot about his religion. its also haram to beat your wife (or any living creature) and wives who shed tear because of their husbands words or hands are counted and then added to the man's sins counted against him in jannah. but alas, there are alcoholics and wife beaters in every religion and in every country and every socioeconomic class every where.

I do not hate him. i just can not live with him or allow my children to think that his behavior is acceptable.

I will send you an email/pm of my personal opinion about all of this.

Unfortunately at least one moderator and one wannabe moderator has informed me that I am not allowed to have a personal opinion on VJ as it violates the TOS.

[Boiler 46,086]

Did anybody mention that you can not remove yourself as his Sponsor?

[mona81 1]

Did anybody mention that you can not remove yourself as his Sponsor?

no, how do i do that? i did write the USCIS service center in California to remove my name from the joint petition and attached a copy of the domestic violence protection order... would that do the same thing or is there another step to take?

[Boiler 46,086]

no, how do i do that? i did write the USCIS service center in California to remove my name from the joint petition and attached a copy of the domestic violence protection order... would that do the same thing or is there another step to take?

None of those matter.

There is no such get out.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

None of those matter.

There is no such get out.

She's not trying to withdraw sponsorship, she's trying to remove herself from the JOINT ROC petition which is perfectly fine and possible for her to do. He will need to file a waiver petition.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

no, how do i do that? i did write the USCIS service center in California to remove my name from the joint petition and attached a copy of the domestic violence protection order... would that do the same thing or is there another step to take?

What Boiler is getting at is that you cannot remove yourself from the I-864 financial sponsorship. You are still on the hook with that. Re-read the form so you're aware of what is at risk. You do not need to financially support him but if he uses means-tested benefits (which he's not actually eligible for until he's been an LPR for 5 years though some people sneak through somehow) then the government CAN sue you to get you to pay it back.

Please read the clauses on the I-864 that tell you under what circumstances the i-864 is cancelled. It is not cancelled on divorce and is in force for a minimum of 10 years (40 SSA quarters actually) unless he fulfills any of the conditions mentioned on the form.

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

Peter pan....

He is not acting like a Muslim. But from past posts I know you...So this is all I will post about your comment.