Never Given up before, but its becoming an option

[~happyndinlove~ 540]

one post stereotyping filipinos removed.

Thanks Charles!

[duriantaste 44]

My conclusion:

I feel bad for what Monreal is going through. I just feel sad about her situation.

[Caryh 5,206]

It is very hard to reason with someone who is being unreasonable.

My experience is there is little chance of reasoning with any jealous person while they are jealousy mode. Some filipinas can really get in that mode to. Wait it out and try reason later. Then try to avoid letting them getting fully into the mode. Hopefully in time, it will get easier. At least thats what I keep telling myself

[gretchen_darren 67]

At least you know a couple of things to do now and a process to start. Your ex is causing problems. the best way to deal with it, it anytime you want to compliment your ex, compliment monreal instead. The other things is the "maid" issue. This is something hard to deal with, but now you know. treat monreael as your wife and your "ex" as a maid. Only talk to your wife about the kids and nothing else....this is very vital. if not tlaking about kids, just drop the call, the conversation, whatever. Tell you ex monreal needs you for something, even IF monreal does not need you. Re-affirm your marriage to monreal. Complimenting your ex and you current wife feels like a maid, you are on some slippery ground. You are seeing your past in "rose" colored glasses. Something made you and your ex split. Something important. something major. Maybe you left her, maybe she left you. I get the sense of you having the kids, she left, and ran away with someone else. Now that person is gone and she is regretting what she did. the FACT she told monreal she is not back in town to get her ex back. I would be highly suspicious. that statement bothers me the most. Be very very very careful around your ex. she either wants you back, or wants the kids. All I can say is wake up and pay attention, do not trust an ex. You are still not over her if you are complimenting her in front of monreal. WAKE UP. you are married to a wonderful girl who loves you with all of her heart. Put your heart in monreal. Put your effort into monreal. You may be friends with your ex, but YOU still don't see whatever happened to destroy your marriage with your ex. I wish you the best..... love monreal, compliment monreal. WAKE UP and smell the bananas, cocnut, fish, vinegar, soy sauce, and rest of things going on... you may be civil to your wife but.... that does not mean to make her your best friend... or close friend.... just a friend is all you need. women are "catty" Monreal may not like her.... trust monreal, women have an innate sense to know. You are way too trusting. if your ex can destroy your happiness she will... don't think for a second an ex won't destroy a new marriage....

[duriantaste 44]

At least you know a couple of things to do now and a process to start. Your ex is causing problems. the best way to deal with it, it anytime you want to compliment

Why do you say the x is causing problem? Do you mean both the op and the x are causing problems to OP's wife.?

[Dan and Judy 614]

She wants me to completely stop talking to my ex-wife. Me and my ex-wife really only talk about the kids when we speak. we do not got out and hang out. she does not come over for queso blanco during Hockey season. It really is just over the phone. Monreal told me that it is okay with her for me to talk to her about the kids, but in reality it pisses her off and shoots her into a Crisis Mood ever time. If i did what Monreal says and stop talking to my ex-wife, it will piss off my ex-wife to the point that she will fight with me every time we speak which will put the kids in a position that they have to choose which parent is right, wrong, who they want to be with. What will that do to the kids? they have always known their parents to be nice to each other. Monreal's Jealousy would cause that to happen if i bowed down to that. Monreal assured me that she would never change her position on this and that it will always be like this until i tell my ex-wife to F-Off. I am a firm believer that a husband and a wife have to be first in each others lives and then the kids come second. But in this situation i am protecting my kids from her Jealousy and insecurity. This will damage my children and they don't deserve that.

As a certified expert, I can tell you that your wife is right. She never will change her position and it is a waste of time trying to convince her that the ex is not a threat.

Don't bother hoping she will grow out of it. She won't. Therapy is a waste of time and money.

If it makes you feel any better, you are right she shouldn't be jealous. Add a dollar to that and you can buy yourself a coke at Mcdonalds

once you accept the fact that your wife is not in control and can not change you are ready to try solve your problem.

It is cheaper to have one ex mad at you than to have two exes.

You really shouldn't need to talk to your ex more than once a week. You've had full custody all this time, she probably doesn't have to many cards to play.

I think typically the non-custodial parent gets a couple weekends a month yada yada.

I think with the ex, you are in the drivers seat. Set up a generous schedule for her to spend time with the kids and then stick to it.

Your mom who used to exchange the kids could probably be an in-between so you don't have to talk to the ex.

you divorced in 2004 so the youngest kid should be at least 8. That means in 10 years the problem of dealing with the ex

should disappear.

But that brings up the question of more babies with current wife. Not a good idea until you've worked out whether or not

you can put up with this situation. I don't have any idea how you could suddenly start using birth control if you haven't

already been using it, without throwing her into a depression.

[duriantaste 44]

Don't bother hoping she will grow out of it. She won't. Therapy is a waste of time and money.