Emergency Room Escapades

[Jaylen Brit 0]

FEMALE SOFA-----

A 500 lb. woman from Illinois was examined in a hospital.

During the examination, an asthma inhaler fell from under her armpit, a

dime was found under one of her breasts and a remote control was found

lodged between the folds of her vulva.

PRICKLY PAIR-----OUCH!

In Michigan, a man came into the ER with lacerations to his #######. He

complained that his wife had "...a rat in her privates..." which bit him

during sex (not the first conclusion I would have drawn, I don't think).

After an examination of his wife, it was revealed that she had a

surgical needle left inside her after a recent hysterectomy.

PINGPONG ANYONE?-------

A 20 year old man came into the ER with a stony mass in his rectum. He

said that he and his boyfriend were fooling around with concrete mix,

when his boyfriend had the idea of pouring the mix into his ####### using a

funnel (you'd do the same, I'm sure!)?!!. The concrete then hardened,

(no sh!t Sherlock!), causing constipation and pain. Under general

anesthesia, a perfect concrete cast of the man's rectum was removed

along with a ping pong ball. (Boy - we live sheltered lives!)

BLIND DRUNK-----

A drunk staggered into a Pennsylvania ER complaining of severe pain

while trying to remove his contact lenses. He said that they would come

out halfway, but they always popped back in. A nurse tried to help using

a suction pump, but without success. Finally, a doctor examined him and

discovered the man did not have his contact lenses in at all. He had

been trying to rip out the membrane of his cornea.

OUCH AND DOUBLE OUCH!-----

A couple hobbled into a Washington State emergency room covered in

bloody restaurant towels. The man had his hands around his abdomen and

the woman had hers around her head. They eventually explained to doctors

that they had gone out that evening for a romantic dinner. Overcome with

passion, the woman crept under the table to administer oral sex to the

man (Classy or what??). While in the act, she had an epileptic fit,

which caused her to clamp down on the man's ####### and wrench it from

side to side. In agony and desperation, the man grabbed a fork and

stabbed her in the head until she let go.

And you thought YOU were having a bad day!!!!

[ChristinaM 0]

OH.

MY.

GOD.

[almaty 19]

wow..i worked an in the emergency room for 8 years ...i have a few stories but ..nothing like these

[Welshcookie 17]

wow..i worked an in the emergency room for 8 years ...i have a few stories but ..nothing like these

me too...... It is a great eye opener to weirdness of folk.....I eventually stopped asking myself 'WHY'

[Peter Miami 0]

wow.

[MaryandMian 1]

Oh my gosh. Speechless but am sure there are plenty of wild stories out there.

[germangel 0]

my sister is a nurse and my cousin a paramedic so at family get-togethers we hear the best stories all the time.

1. A couple came into the ER and the woman had a shifter from a car in her privates. It turned out that they had sex in the car and she sat on the wrong knob. Ouch!

2. 2 guys came into the ER, one with a broken nose, the other with severe burns in his rectum. The gay couple was experimenting with a hamster and a funnel, sending the hamster into each other"s rectum and the hamster was trained to come out when one of them whisteled. One time the hamster didn't come out any more so what did those smart fellas do? the guy without the hamster in his butt decided that hamsters are attracted to light and lit a lighter(hello, never heard of those games before) on the end of the funnel. This caused a reaction with the gas and the hamster shot out of the rectum, through the funnel and broke the other guy's nose.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

germangel, that last one omg..I nearly wet myself laughing

[Aymerlu 3]

These made me chuckle. Reminded me when I was doing my clinicals. I had a 400lb women come into the ER. The women just stank bad so after her examination and waiting for her labs to come back, we were cleaning her up a bit. Raised up her arm and PLOP.....and chicken bone fell on the floor. Had to be the grossest thing I've ever seen.

Also...another ER story. A friend of my was doing his OB/GYN rounds and a lady came into the ER and said she "fell on a cue ball." (YEAH RIGHT!) The ball was stuck up there and was not coming out. They tried forceps and a vacuum and both failed. Finally the doc went to the cafateria and got a spoon. Stuck the spoon up there and POP! It came out! Seems the ball had formed such a tight suction, the spoon was what broke the seal. YUCK! Hope they didn't send that spoon back to the cafe!

[Meriem_DZ 37]

I worked in an ER for 10 years and 3 years as a flight nurse. Anyway, I brought a man back to the examining room and ask him what his problem was today. He said "I have a little rectal oozing. I said "Ok the Doctor will be in to see you soon." The Doctor came out of the room shaking his head. The man had placed a cucumber up his rear and could not get it out. He tried to remove it with a fork and punctured his rectum. Anyway he was admitted into the hospital for surgery the next morning. During the night he passed the cucumber, washed it, wrapped it in a paper towel and presented it to the floor nurse. The nurse noticed the fork marks on the end of the cucumber.

Another memorable event was when a man came in with a regulation size nurf football stuck in his rectum. His explanation was that he was using the football to put preparation H on his butt and "It just slipped in".

suuurrrrreee!

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

Daniel

:energetic:

[MrMrsKnight 0]

I love this kind of stories!!!!!

[dollface41601 0]

never ever have i seen or heard something funnier...this is hillarious...how stupid can people be

[aussiewench 9]

too funny..thanks for making me near wet myself once again hahahaha

We had a well known news reader that was reported to have made a visit to the emergency room with a coke bottle stuck in her rectum. She reportedly told them she had accidently sat on it. A week or so later when she returned to work on air........The shows host that she used to read the news section on....turned to her and asked "I hear you are endorsing Coca Cola these days" She never came back.

Edited February 26, 2006 by aussiewench

[blackbettie 0]

Oh. My. God.

People are freaks, I always knew it.

:lol: :lol: