honeymoon with the WHOLE family?

[Bosco 1]

szsz - your opinion is certainly one side of things.

I grew up in a strict Christian environment and saw so many marriages between kids whose hormones were pushing them to become sexually active so they rushed into marriage to satisfy those urges. I've also seen Muslim men do the same. Growing up I saw more adults cheating on each other who claimed to be devout christians than I did those who I didn't see cheating, yes even ministers.

I'm not saying that it's necessarily desirable to just go out and sleep with anybody and everybody, but I also don't see that waiting until marriage will somehow make the marriage better. I do think that internet dating allows the ability to get to know someone as a person before becoming intimate and that is certainly a good thing, but once two people know each other well I think sexuality is just a deepening of that "getting to know each other."

Personally I found that having sex with a guy was a pretty good way to find out his intentions toward me. If that was all he wanted he was on his way soon enough and I didn't end up in a serious relationship with a hormone controlled dog.

There are ways to prevent disease and pregnancy, so those excuses against promiscuity are quite outdated.

I'm sure I will be attacked by all kinds of people here for my opinion, but fine. I am who I am and I am a woman who thinks that many women who will openly say they won't have sex outside of marriage do it a whole lot more than they admit.

I would argue that there is a difference between waiting for marriage when you are 17, 18 etc. and maybe will rush into marriage just for sex, and when you are an older adult. As an older adult, you may have had sex outside of marriage, maybe even a lot of sex and grown to value it differently, or had it only within marriage. Either way, you are not entering a marriage just for sex. I think at this point you are waiting because it is something you want to share only with the person you will marry. I think this can (not always) indicate a deeper understand of how precious a marriage is and how there are many aspects of a marriage that should only be shared by that couple and not other people.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

I am who I am and I am a woman who thinks that many women who will openly say they won't have sex outside of marriage do it a whole lot more than they admit

I missed this the first time. It's a very defensive comment as well as an offensive insult. Why is it necessary to demean women who say they won't have sex out of marriage as hypocrites in order to validate your own position that it's ok to have sex outside of marriage? Is it about guilt, or is there something inherently more noble about announcing one's hedonistic tendencies than there is about saving oneself for marriage so that it will have a sweetness that cannot be equaled by bed-hopping in search of the kind of intimacy one gets from committment?

I find it curious that you need to juxtapose openly saying that you will have pre-marital sex with saying that one will not engage in such a practice by including a defensive comment that puts down those who disagree with you even as you are not attacked. I'm not intending to attack myself, just making an observation about your strange way of making your point.

[doodlebug 3]

Why did my thread about what to wear around the house turn into a premarital sex debate?

[sarah and hicham 3]

oh don't be surprised, it's not the first time! Enjoy!

Edited October 13, 2006 by sarah and hicham

[jordanianprincess 0]

Why did my thread about what to wear around the house turn into a premarital sex debate?

Because

[doodlebug 3]

well it doesn't matter now anyways 'cause as of tonight he said "I have no sisters".

I swear they disown each other every other week I just can't keep up.

Now I need the sexy lingerie again. Geez louise I think I'll just pack both in case they un-disown each other 50 million times before I get there.

[Veiled Princess 1]

Why did my thread about what to wear around the house turn into a premarital sex debate?

Because that's the VJ way

[jordanianprincess 0]

well it doesn't matter now anyways 'cause as of tonight he said "I have no sisters".

I swear they disown each other every other week I just can't keep up.

Now I need the sexy lingerie again. Geez louise I think I'll just pack both in case they un-disown each other 50 million times before I get there.

Fredericks of Hollywood has cute lingerie. So does VP's secret, er I mean Victoria's Exposed.

Edited October 13, 2006 by jordanianprincess

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Why did my thread about what to wear around the house turn into a premarital sex debate?

It's been several pages since it was about what to wear around the house. I started reading around page 9 or 10. Not much about it there.

[Bosco 1]

Maybe there are just some of us who think for ourselves and don't go looking for a book or religion or society to tell us what to think. Maybe some of us think that if there is a higher being it expects us to use the brains we have and think for ourselves instead of just swallowing other people's opinions.

Why do you assume that people who wait for marriage are swallowing other people's opinions or not thinking for themselves? Why assume they are doing it only because of society or a book or religion?

Society has also crammed religion down people's throats for centuries and look what good that has done us. Religious people fight way more than non-religious people. Throughout history some of the bloodiest massacres have been in the name of god.

Religion is most often just a single component of a multitude of reasons for war, or often a superficial reason used to garner support. As far as individual people, I think there is little proof either way that the religious fight more than non-religious.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

True our society is too focused on sex. But just because society doesn't do something right doesn't mean that we need to run to the opposite corner and hide.

But you are advocating not doing something right, as well.

Society has also crammed religion down people's throats for centuries and look what good that has done us. Religious people fight way more than non-religious people. Throughout history some of the bloodiest massacres have been in the name of god.

Bloody massacres have occured for a multitude of reasons. To single out religion is a cop out.

Maybe there are just some of us who think for ourselves and don't go looking for a book or religion or society to tell us what to think. Maybe some of us think that if there is a higher being it expects us to use the brains we have and think for ourselves instead of just swallowing other people's opinions.

I grew up during the sexual revolution, and I know there was little thinking for yourselves going on, mostly because the sexually free were also among the perpetually stoned. That they passed on their philosophy to the next generation is a shame. The fact is, you don't create your reality in a vacuum. That you think it's ok to have sex out of marriage is not an original thought, it is celebrated, snickered about and spoken of openly, as you have done. If that was not so, THEN you would be some sort of rebel, a vanguard of self-thought. But, sadly, you are merely a follower of the mistakes made before.

I never endorsed "doing what feels right" nor did I endorse rampant promiscuity. I just think that the saving of oneself for marriage can lead to some pretty unexpected outcomes. When the focus is on "not" doing something sometimes it can be as bad as when the focus is in the opposite direction.

Test driving men in bed to see how they treat you afterward, as you said you have done, is a harbinger of unexpected outcomes, no? It sounds like Russian roulette to me.

Edited October 13, 2006 by szsz

[StupidJourney 0]

Hmmm I get that here too... funny cos I donnot really see blue eyes Algeriens walking around

I agree, rahma. Everyone just assumed I was Egyptian. I was in a restroom fixing my higab and a woman started speaking to me in Arabic. I turned to her and explained that I didn't understand everything she said. She said, oh I thought you were Egyptian. If you dress like them, keep quiet in the market areas, and let your man do the haggling you'll get the same price as an Egyptian.

On a side note regarding cheaper if you're with an Egyptian... nope. Cost me 20 pounds, cost him 2 and he argued for what seemed an eternity. YES take your marriage papers!!!! If you don't your hubby will be harassed by every cop and "do-gooder" within 100 paces.

If you don't talk, and are dressed like Egyptians dress, then they mistake you for an Egyptian and give you the cheap price

This works best for haggling too. I point out what I want and my husband does all the talking. I got like a badillion scarves for a $1 each, but had they known I was an american, the price would have quadrupled, at leaset.

There's blue-eyed Amazigh. I've been spoken to in Tamazight before for that reason. Especially because when I was in the Peace Corps, I dressed rather poor and grungy. Looks out of place in Rabat!

[Veiled Princess 1]

I agree that premarital sex is celebrated in this society. We are taught to use sex to get what we want from a fairly early age.... just watching TV as a child can teach this.... a large marjority of ads on TV use this ploy to sell nearly every product.... can someone please tell me what a half dressed woman has to do with buying a new car??? Anyway...

The very concept of shame has been taken away from us... we aren't supposed to be ashamed of anything we do today... after all, we're just animals doing what animals do right????

Instead of teaching our children not to have sex we teach them to have "safe sex"

Many mothers today actually encourage their daughters/sons to live with their B/GF before marriage to make sure they really want to marry If you don't know this then should you be playing house together?

It's become very common to talk about sexual adventures with friends/coworkers as if it's something to be proud of (and many people actually are proud)

Of course these are just my opinions and yes they are based on faith but they're also based on reason and my own thoughts about it.

I can look at the short history of this country to see how much premarital sex (as well as other things) has corrupted this society in a VERY short amount of time.

The weird thing is that these women who give in to this can't even see that they're just hurting themselves and their daughters/grandaughters/etc... everyone is so convinced that women have been 'liberated' because we are allowed to sleep around without consequences but this isn't a liberty that I want.

Women are supposed to be taken care of and respected... not passed around like a dirty rag.

[Jenn! 918]

everyone is so convinced that women have been 'liberated' because we are allowed to sleep around without consequences but this isn't a liberty that I want.

Well, then it is a liberty that YOU need not take advantage of.

[Sofiyya 1,687]

Well, then it is a liberty that YOU need not take advantage of.

It's a liberty to which there is no advantage, but time is often what is needed to give you the proper perspective that is lacking in youth.