honeymoon with the WHOLE family?

[ya falaha! 0]

Yeah I agree...my family would have more of an issue with us sleeping together before marriage than me being married before.

I didn't think that the ME/NA inlaws would be very impressed that you were previously married and have children regardless of their race or religion? My past relationship was never a topic of conversation with Hicham or his family. I think they were happy that I had never been married though. I don't think one can win points because their kids from a previous marriage are Muslim, but maybe I am wrong? I thought that in some families who are traditional or strict that the family wouldn't want their children marrying someone who was divorced with children... but the times do change!

It is not haraam in Islam to divorce or remarry afterwards... the prophet was married to a divorcee I would think it would be frowned upon more so if one had premarital relations prior to their marriage but I could be wrong

[jordanianprincess 0]

I didn't think that the ME/NA inlaws would be very impressed that you were previously married and have children regardless of their race or religion? My past relationship was never a topic of conversation with Hicham or his family. I think they were happy that I had never been married though. I don't think one can win points because their kids from a previous marriage are Muslim, but maybe I am wrong? I thought that in some families who are traditional or strict that the family wouldn't want their children marrying someone who was divorced with children... but the times do change!

It is not haraam in Islam to divorce or remarry afterwards... the prophet was married to a divorcee I would think it would be frowned upon more so if one had premarital relations prior to their marriage but I could be wrong

I dont think anyone said it was Haram. This has nothing to do with Islam, most arabs feel this way. I know my fiances family is not thrilled that i was previously married. This is just in reference to what Moody said earlier about having a better relationship because she was previosly married to an arabic man.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I didn't think that the ME/NA inlaws would be very impressed that you were previously married and have children regardless of their race or religion? My past relationship was never a topic of conversation with Hicham or his family. I think they were happy that I had never been married though. I don't think one can win points because their kids from a previous marriage are Muslim, but maybe I am wrong? I thought that in some families who are traditional or strict that the family wouldn't want their children marrying someone who was divorced with children... but the times do change!

It is not haraam in Islam to divorce or remarry afterwards... the prophet was married to a divorcee I would think it would be frowned upon more so if one had premarital relations prior to their marriage but I could be wrong

I know that when Hicham's sister got married her and her husband had their marriage registered before they spent the night together. Even though his family isn't traditional or very religious, she still felt it wasn't right to sleep together without registering her marriage in Morocco. She just didn't feel that it was right.

[jordanianprincess 0]

Ok forive me if I am wrong here, but there is another thread here about people sleeping together before marriage, I don't remember your response (I think you said you didnt) but so many did. In any case, I don't think any of that plays into what makes a marriage successful.

Yeah I agree...my family would have more of an issue with us sleeping together before marriage than me being married before.

I didn't think that the ME/NA inlaws would be very impressed that you were previously married and have children regardless of their race or religion? My past relationship was never a topic of conversation with Hicham or his family. I think they were happy that I had never been married though. I don't think one can win points because their kids from a previous marriage are Muslim, but maybe I am wrong? I thought that in some families who are traditional or strict that the family wouldn't want their children marrying someone who was divorced with children... but the times do change!

It is not haraam in Islam to divorce or remarry afterwards... the prophet was married to a divorcee I would think it would be frowned upon more so if one had premarital relations prior to their marriage but I could be wrong

[ya falaha! 0]

My original post about the subject was a question directed to Henia asking her if she experienced this as I had. This was not saying that all MENA families were like this or felt this way. I just was curious if Henia's inlaws were like this as well. I can't help the way my family feels about the subject and like I've said time and again....it depends on the family. I don't know ALL MENA families....just mine. Hence why I was asking Henia in the first place. Since I know she's had a very similar circumstance as myself.

[jpaula 20]

The Bedouin here give people (rather tourtists) camel rides near the western Algerien coast... my husband told me there are sooo expensive. My husband promised me amoung *other* things to take me to the Sahara when I return. Unforuntely traveling south in Algerie takes a police report and premit ...as there are still terrorist here (hmmm but I am not worried... I know they will pay me randsum just so I would leave ) But seriously I want to ride a camel too...

Henia,

I went to the South with no problem. I never got a police report or a permit. In fact never heard I needed one. You can fly Alger to Ghardaia quite easily (daily flights) and then head south from there. Just be sure to go with someone who knows what they are doing.

[jordanianprincess 0]

My original post about the subject was a question directed to Henia asking her if she experienced this as I had. This was not saying that all MENA families were like this or felt this way. I just was curious if Henia's inlaws were like this as well. I can't help the way my family feels about the subject and like I've said time and again....it depends on the family. I don't know ALL MENA families....just mine. Hence why I was asking Henia in the first place. Since I know she's had a very similar circumstance as myself.

Well then I apoloigize if that was only meant for Henia to comment on. I thought thats was PM's were for, I figured we were all free to comment. Anywho...

[ya falaha! 0]

I guess I just made the mistake of posting on the board. I didn't care if others commented I just didn't mean for everyone to get upset and offended by it. I was simply asking if she had a similar experience not saying that everyone in the ME is like that. I realize not everyone is the same. I apologize if anyone got offended it wasn't meant to be offensive.

[Bosco 1]

It is not haraam in Islam to divorce or remarry afterwards... the prophet was married to a divorcee I would think it would be frowned upon more so if one had premarital relations prior to their marriage but I could be wrong

I don't think it is a religious issue but rather a deeply rooted cultural issue that affects both Christians and Muslims in the ME/NA countries. I don't think anyone would argue that the status of divorced women in ME/NA countries approaches good. Even if a particular family doesn't hold these beliefs, there are neighbors that talk, etc.

This goes back to issues that have been discussed before the forum -- the emphasis placed on virginity, youth, etc.

[jordanianprincess 0]

I guess I just made the mistake of posting on the board. I didn't care if others commented I just didn't mean for everyone to get upset and offended by it. I was simply asking if she had a similar experience not saying that everyone in the ME is like that. I realize not everyone is the same. I apologize if anyone got offended it wasn't meant to be offensive.

I don't think anyone is upset or offended. I was also previously married.

[ya falaha! 0]

Edited October 12, 2006 by moody

[Bosco 1]

I know that when Hicham's sister got married her and her husband had their marriage registered before they spent the night together. Even though his family isn't traditional or very religious, she still felt it wasn't right to sleep together without registering her marriage in Morocco. She just didn't feel that it was right.

We have a friend that was marrying a Moroccan woman living in Europe. When she came, they were unable to register their marriage because she had forgotten a necessary document. They still held the wedding party as planned, but he absolutely did not touch her until the marriage was registered.

[jordanianprincess 0]

It is not haraam in Islam to divorce or remarry afterwards... the prophet was married to a divorcee I would think it would be frowned upon more so if one had premarital relations prior to their marriage but I could be wrong

I don't think it is a religious issue but rather a deeply rooted cultural issue that affects both Christians and Muslims in the ME/NA countries. I don't think anyone would argue that the status of divorced women in ME/NA countries approaches good. Even if a particular family doesn't hold these beliefs, there are neighbors that talk, etc.

This goes back to issues that have been discussed before the forum -- the emphasis placed on virginity, youth, etc.

Exactly and at my wedding there are certain Zaffa songs that they cant even sing because I was previously married. When they don't sing them ppl will know I was married and you know how arabs gossip.

[sarah and hicham 3]

I know that when Hicham's sister got married her and her husband had their marriage registered before they spent the night together. Even though his family isn't traditional or very religious, she still felt it wasn't right to sleep together without registering her marriage in Morocco. She just didn't feel that it was right.

We have a friend that was marrying a Moroccan woman living in Europe. When she came, they were unable to register their marriage because she had forgotten a necessary document. They still held the wedding party as planned, but he absolutely did not touch her until the marriage was registered.

Yep, and you're right that it really is a cultural issue as well as a religious issue because Hicham's sister isn't a very strict Muslim however she is seen as very respectable within her family, neighborhood, and her job.

[Henia 11]

I am glad too Kara that my family has not seen my previous marriage and child as an issue... also glad for you elhamdullah your family is the same way

Yeah I know what you mean about the "real" Muslim thing. The fact that I've been Muslim nearly 12 yrs and have Muslim children and what not means that I'm a "real" Muslim to them. They feel different about the women who become Muslim around the same time that they either meet or marry their husbands. My family feels more comfortable about my sons because they're Arab and Muslim. They have pics of my sons in their home. Everyone knows that I've been married and have children not only the immediate family. It's not an issue with them alhamdulilah.

Henia...

Do you find that Ahmed's family treats you more like one of them because you were married to an Arab once before and have a child who is Arab? I find that I was more accepted as "one of them" because of this.

I have found by me being what they call a *real* Muslim I have been accepted more. Ahmed has told the close family (like his half brothers and sisters, aunts and uncles) that I was married before to an arabe and have a arabe child...which for the most part they seem to not even take notice of...I have had a few people ask me if the father supports my daughter and what he thought of me remarrying... but of course you and I both know the answer to that But I must say knowing many muslim and typical to all arabe countries's customs has helped me much ... like how to make and properly serve tea/coffee and how to call who in the family..(like my husband's mother's sister who is staying with us is amti)

yes Jenn in Algerie they pretty much do the same...also add a whole ceremoney while adding the *extra* sugar, as if 4 cubes was not enough already...then they so dentily *serve* you the tea in the shot glasses (not really shot glasses, but lets just call them that so everyone knows what they look like... Little saucers (which are unforuntately not in this pic) under these shot glasses, accompanied by a mint leave in the tea, maybe even some rose petals depending on how they make the tea... of course bling bling dollies, fake flowers, sweets with pounds and pounds of sugar in them. Yup tea time is something like that... O ye.. donnot forget they serve also cola,juice and coffee for people who rather that also...so basically we need to call in the SUGAR BUSTERS ...

LOLOLOL you will soon find out Doodle... it has it very own special cultured way of making and serving An art in its self

In Algeria is it like it is in Morocco? They pour it from up high, and then dump it back into the pot, pour again, dump, etc.... I swear at one point I thought my SIL was going go to the top of the staircase to pour it, she kept getting higher and higher!

LOL...I think it's because they tend to reuse old jelly jars or plastic food containers to use as storage so you can't tell if it's sugar or salt. That's what happened to me anyways. Ah well it gave the family a good laugh.

For this exact reason I bought a roll of masking tape and a felt marker...starting write on everything WHAT it was... hmmm all the women who come to visit me and of course look thru my cabinets were like huh?

My original post about the subject was a question directed to Henia asking her if she experienced this as I had. This was not saying that all MENA families were like this or felt this way. I just was curious if Henia's inlaws were like this as well. I can't help the way my family feels about the subject and like I've said time and again....it depends on the family. I don't know ALL MENA families....just mine. Hence why I was asking Henia in the first place. Since I know she's had a very similar circumstance as myself.

Yes I was clear on why Moody posted this question, as we were and are in similar situation and can relate to each other's present situation...

Really? Hmmmm that was just a tall tale my husband told me so I would not ask him to take me many times...

The Bedouin here give people (rather tourtists) camel rides near the western Algerien coast... my husband told me there are sooo expensive. My husband promised me amoung *other* things to take me to the Sahara when I return. Unforuntely traveling south in Algerie takes a police report and premit ...as there are still terrorist here (hmmm but I am not worried... I know they will pay me randsum just so I would leave ) But seriously I want to ride a camel too...

Henia,

I went to the South with no problem. I never got a police report or a permit. In fact never heard I needed one. You can fly Alger to Ghardaia quite easily (daily flights) and then head south from there. Just be sure to go with someone who knows what they are doing.