Nightmare of an Interview @ Mumbai 4/19

[sachinky 465]

I spent the first 25 yrs of my life in India, and still hold an Indian passport. I travel to India at least once or twice each year. Why do you have such hard time believing that I know of four such cases? Does it bother you when someone disagrees with you? The four couples that I know are urbanites who have transcended traditional notions of marriage. The difference between isn't 24 yrs but close (BTW, SunDancer's fiance is 24yrs old, not 20 as you say. I suggest that you reread her post). I never said their situation would be deemed normal. In fact, I explicitly stated that "it is not "normal." You seem to be having trouble comprehending posts. So, the question is, what are you drinking when you are on this site?

Well, then we are in agreement. It IS rare enough to be a cultural aberration. The problem here is not of one red flag (which possibly can be countered or explained), it's when you add all of them (the FB meeting, the age gap , difference in race, the minimal time spent together in person -- all text book red-flags) up, that things don't begin to look too good and invites heavy scrutiny.

As far as what I am drinking, last night, it was margaritas (yay for Monday margaritas!). This morning, though, I promise, it's merely my morning cuppa.

Anyway, It's always so lovely to meet a fellow-countryman. Wonderful, so which part of India are you from?

Edited May 1, 2012 by sachinky

[cnm2001 3]

Well, then we are in agreement. It IS rare enough to be a cultural aberration. The problem here is not of one red flag (which possibly can be countered or explained), it's when you add all of them (the FB meeting, the age gap , difference in race, the minimal time spent together in person -- all text book red-flags) up, that things don't begin to look too good and invites heavy scrutiny.

As far as what I am drinking, last night, it was margaritas (yay for Monday margaritas!). This morning, though, I promise, it's merely my morning cuppa.

Anyway, It's always so lovely to meet a fellow-countryman. Wonderful, so which part of India are you from?

I am from Hyderabad. Great to meet you as well. And best wishes.

[di&ar 0]

Thank you . I am trying to stay positive, but poor Harsh has been put through the wringer and i am worried about him. I have been in contact with my state senator and our attorney all day so hopefully we can get turned around the right way.

This totally sucks!! Hang in there and fight through it! I wish you both lots of luck!!

[dwheels76 5,468]

Again, I just want to say that what I was upset and appalled at was the way my fiance' was treated. Yes I understand there is fraud out there and they only have a short amount of time to try to ascertain if the person they are interviewing is in fact trying to commit fraud. However there is still a proper and professional way to do that. I am not saying that they should have coddled him and acted like his best friend. But at the very least they should have treated him like a human being, but instead they screamed at him and interrogated him for over 2 hours. That is what I was originally stating when I posted this topic, not that I was surprised that they issued us a 221g, As I had stated before I knew this was going to be a journey. we had discussed this numerous times. I do not pretend to be an expert on India just because I was there for 2 weeks.There is much I do not know about India, every day when I talk to my fiance' I feel like I learn something new about India. My parents brought me up to not be judgmental,racist,sexist or anything. I was taught regardless of color,age,gender,religion,ethnicity or what ever that we are all human beings. No so long ago we had slavery, but now that has been abolished. Yes there is still racism but it gets better a little each day, yes there are different cultures all over the world. But my fiance' was told flat out,"You are Indian and she is a White American it is impossible for you two to have a valid relationship". If you want to get technical yes I am an American, however I am 3/4 French and 1/4 Native American Indian. Again why should it matter what nationality any of us are? Sorry I am just rambling off a bunch of nonsense but in my opinion age,race or if either of you have been married before or have kids should not be relevant in this process. I feel if there is fraud then it is fraud and should be dealt with accordingly with the law. Many of us do not choose who we fall in love with, yet it seems like we are being singled out and punished if any of us have any kind of difference such as in my case we are not both Indian so a valid relationship is not possible, who's right is it to say that we don't have a real valid relationship? Some of you on here or anyone in India just because you don't know anyone who has a similar relationship that my fiance' and I have. I am sorry but that is just ridiculous, again we are human beings so why can't we embrace other cultures? Just because it is not the "norm"? Makes no sense to me.

Sundancer trust me I feel your pain as a older woman married to young man. And know you are heartbroken over the treatment of your husband. But you have to also take your feelings out of it (I know I know). From an immigration standpoint this is business like it or not (or as we say in church "It may be tight but its right) there is a certain profile if you will of a target group. When someone like Sachinky mention some of the harsh realities we have to suck it up and take it. Because baby just because we know in our heart what we know what we know the world doesn't know our heart. They go by the stats, cultures and norms. And face it we aren't mainstream, heck we aren't even in the neighborhood. All have had great words of advice (although Peter Pan did hurt with the older women have low self-esteem Ouchie).

Let me paint the picture I have been told of what the embassy in Lagos has radar out for (I am sure its about the same all over).

1. Meet online (yep we did)

2. She's (the USC) at least 8 or more years older. Usually in her late 30's or 40's. (ummm I am 53, he is 32) feel better

3. Been married before (nope) one for me

4. Has children teenager or grown (yep my daughter is 1 year older than my husband)

5. Has a low paying job (nope when we started this journey unemployed since coming back from Nigeria)

6. Limited visits of short duration (usually less than 2 weeks) (stayed 6 months, first visit)

7. Married on first trip and left (yep but stayed 6 months, was 6 weeks before we married)

8. Filed immediately after getting back home (nope waited 6 months after I returned)

9. Mixed race (usually the USC is white female) (we are both black)

10. Doesn't get to meet alot of his family in Nigeria (nope meet all but dad, they don't speck to him)

These are the BIG red flags they are looking at. I know of quite a few couples who had either all or most of these and still got their VISA. Now sure alot of us didn't know about "Red Flags" when we started this. I know I had no clue when me and my husband married last year. We just wanted to be together and married. Than a friend asked was I going to file for a Visa I said I have no idea what to do. She suggested VJ and here I am totally was in shocked when I joined last June 2011. I thought an application and a marriage certificate. Whats all this Bona Fide evidence? Who knew someone would want to know all your texting, email, IM's, phone-logs, letters and pictures. Oh my.

What I am saying is what is done is done. You now need to gird up, make a visit and start getting your ducks in a row. I leave you with this encouraging Nigerian review of what a Denial turn good news because this couple was persistent. Never give up. Never ever give up. Read this

Taken from the Nigerian Embassy review:

Dear visa journey members.This is my story with Nigeria consulate. On July 6 I went for my interview andwas denied. The CO told me and also gave me a slip explaining that ourrelationship is for "immigration purposes" and that they are sendingour petition back to USCIS with their recommendation that the petition berevoke. We said to ourselves that is time to execute our plan B,to live inNigeria. My wife came to Nigeria in September to live with me. When shearrived,we decided to email the consulate that she is here with me. Theconsulate replied that I have been told to return for my interview on November10. We were surprised because neither me or my wife received any email from theembassy. To be so sure of this I email the consulate again telling them that Ihave been told to return for my interview but I have no idea what I should comewith because my police certificate has expire and my medical record is with theconsulate. They replied the following day confirming my appointment also saidthat I will be advice accordingly on the day of my interview. This time me andmy wife were convinced that yes we have an interview. We used our discretion toget another police report a day before the interview. My appointment was 1pm.That day I step into the consular section at 1:07pm. At about 3:55pm my number wascalled to window 13. It was this young white guy. This is how it went:

CO:Goodafternoon sir

ME:Goodafternoon to you

CO:Whatdid you bring that you did not come with in your first interview?

ME:Iwas surprise to hear that because nobody told me to bring anything.I use myinitiative and gave him our recent pictures we took at our district conventionof Jehovah"s witnesses.

CO:Lookingat the pictures he point at my wife and said is she the one?

ME:yes,sheis outside as I speak with you.

CO:smilingand said I believe your relationship is real. He ask me what is my wifefavorite Nigeria food?

ME:Fufu.He started laughing even those seated waiting for their interview were laughingtoo because they heard everything. Then I brought our three books of call logs,instantmessaging and emails. It was made as a book with our pictures on the frontpage. This is what I brought to the first interview except the third one thatcontained recent call logs.

CO:Whatis all of that?

ME:calllogs,instant messaging and emails.

CO:Allof that?

ME:yes

CO:canI see any of them?

ME:yes.Igave him one of the books.

CO:Shemade this? It is beautiful and was smiling. He opened a page read something andwas smiling. He kept saying more than five times that he believe ourrelationship is real and was typing.

CO:Weare going to issue you a visa but your police report and medical has expired.

ME:Hereis the police report.

CO:Thankyou sir. He continued typing. He left and came back with a paper and told methat the medical is only valid for six month and gave me the paper and theaddress of the two hospital to go for the medical. That I can return 1pm anyweekdays with the report and I will be issued a visa. The following day me andmy wife went for the medical report. 14th of November I went to pick themedical result and went back to the consulate. I was the first person to go infor 1pm appointment. At about 2:15pm a young Nigerian guy called my name not mynumber to come to window 21. He ask for the medical and my internationalpassport which I gave to him. He then gave me the letter to go pick up my visaon the 21st.

[mightyarch 2]

This is ridiculous. And they rely on facebook on determining a person's intent? We just add up anything on fb dosen't mean tht's what they should look for into. It's really cheap what they are doing. And question about the age, Love is unconditional !

I think you should write a letter to the Consulate general in Mumbai explaining exactly what happened. And if the mail goes from your senate or lawyer, it would be even better.

U.S. Consulate General, Mumbai

Consul General: Peter Haas

C-49, G-Block, Bandra Kurla Complex

Bandra East, Mumbai 400051

Phone: (22) 2672-4000

[Boiler 45,730]

Of course the don't.

Not sure about Love, but an unconditional Green Card is nice

[andy desai 3]

Things become more complicated when there is 10+ years of age gap and especially it is difficult to prove a relationship rather then marriage. the way harsh was treated was unjust. but at the same time, it is important to know why they do that. there are many people from asia who use the K1 channel to come to the US on a contract based marriage. and this happens very frequently. it is frustrating that you have to deal with this. it is their way of authenticating information. they are testing his integrity and i am not suprised why are they doing it.

some of the responses to the questions which my wife had to answer were the following

did you guys have an engagement ceremony? did he get you a ring? how much was the ring? how many people attended the engagement? who all attended? did the parents attend the ceremony? whose parent did? did anyone besides your husband flew to india? how many times you met your husband? she had to correct the officer that he is not my husband... he is my fiancee.where and when you met? did you guys meet alone? you guys went to overseas alone... this is not permitted in your culture before marriage.. why you went? why did your parents allow that to happen? are you sure you are not married!!!!!? do you guys have a plan to get married in america? how come you dont have a plan to get married in america if you guys are getting married in 3 months from now? when are you getting married in america? why you want to get married in america? who will attend the marriage in america? are your parents going to attend the wedding in america? if not why not? how much does the wedding cost in america? who is paying for it? why is he paying for it? who is paying for the ticket?

for more than 2 hours she was grilled.....

when i look back in time..... i was furious why they are treating her like that. now i think all these questions were valid....they are doing their job and their intent is to make sure immigration fraud doesnt take place.