How to bypass the "living together" requirement

[Nelchior 0]

Hi everyone!

Let me tell you my story:

I arrived in the U.S almost three years ago, and shortly after getting here, I met the girl who would become my gf for the past 2 years now.

I started here as an intern, then studied. I started my OPT after graduating, and I am now in my Grace Period. I am supposed to live this coming Monday.

Since we do not want to be separated, we decided to get married so I can apply to a temporary green card, but we are both stressing out and a little afraid. We believe we meet most requirements, we just have to open a joint bank account or a few other similar administrative processes, but there is one issue: even though we are in love, we are not ready to live together just yet: She had her own job, I had a short professional experience here, and I need more before we can both move together. Bseides, we agreed on the fact that if we move together, that won't be in NY.

We were wondering if there would be any way we can "bypass" the fact that we are supposed to live together.

We both live in New York, we actually love 5 blocks away from each other, and we spend most of our evening/nights together (3-4 nights a week). And even though everything goes very well, we are well aware that the remaining 3 nights - that we do not spend together, allowing us to see friends or have some alone time - greatly contributes to the success of our relationship.

Now, we would like to start the process asap, as I will be illegal starting Monday.

I would like to know if anyone has any advice for me. We would really like to try not to have to move together. Since my lease expires in more than a year, I was wondering if I could use that as a reason for not moving with her yet. I know my landlord, he's really nice and would be likely to help me on that one. Besides, being a young graduate with no job at this point (no EAD anymore), that would be hard for me to find a landlord willing to let me sign a lease since I have no stable revenue, right?

Or I was also considering putting my name on my gf's lease, and move with a friend in another apartment where he would be in charge of the whole rent and I would pay him in cash. But my gf's landlord isn't like mine and wouldn't be likely to let me do that.

Any other ideas are more than welcome! I am running out of time and ideas

Last question: I have a french bank account that I could use to pay a rent if necessary, does anyone know if the USCIS or whoever is in charge of the process CAN monitor it ?

Thanks to anyone who took time to read this thread, much appreciated!!

Also, I would like to know if

[Inky 1,111]

Moved from K-3 spousal visas as this is not a spousal visa question but an adjustment of status question. Moved to Adjustment of status from work / student / tourist.

[Little_My 464]

There are plenty of married couples who do not live together at the time when they are filing for AOS, and are successful in the process of getting the foreign spouse a GC. However, in most of these cases there is ample reasons as to why they are not living together, and usually the couple lives in different states or cities. Now, at first glance this may seem like a worse scenario than yours since the couple is further apart from eachother and can see eachother more rarely than you guys, but I actually think that when it comes to how USCIS sees things, living apart in different states due to reasons such as work or school would actually be easier to overcome than your situation.

The thing is that especially in this economy, it is understandable that people have to make hard decisions when it comes to work and income, and sometimes that may mean that married couples have to live apart for a while. It is also understandable that a person may be goign to a school in one state or city, while the other works in another state or city, and for either one to move to where the other person is just might not be feasible at that time. Your situation is very different. You live in the same city, actually in the same block, and you plan to get married - but you are not ready to live together..? To me, this is a big red flag. You know that your relationship is real and legitimate and you know what your personal reasons are for not wanting to live together, but for USCIS this would probably scream immigation fraud. I have to say, it seems a bit weird even to me that you would be willing to take such a huge life altering step as marriage, but not willing to move in together..? Usually, people do it the other way.

I don't want to judge. I have seen enough relationships, including my own, to know that there is no one-size-fits-all model to how people make their relationships and love life work. I am just relaying how I believe this would look like to USCIS. It won't be easy to explain this away. There is absolutely no legitimate, sensible reason as to why you wouldn't be living together, except for the fact that you do not want to - and for a married couple, that is a bit odd.

Edited April 18, 2012 by Little_My

[Nelchior 0]

Well the reason is simple, we have been together for just two years, for us it is not enough to move together, that's about it. We decided to get married so I could stay here and work, because we do not want to be separated as everything is going very well between us.

Like I mentioned, I was wondering if I could use the fact that I do not have the job to justify the fact that we are not living together. In NY, most landlords requires guarantees that i cannot provide yet. My current lease is up in December, my landlord won't necessary be ok with me leaving, isn't it a good excuse?

[Little_My 464]

My opinion.. No, it's not a good excuse. Not the job part, that is. Your lease not being up until December could work, though USCIS would most likely ask about your plans to move in together after your lease is up, and I'm not sure how you were to answer those..

The thing here is that, technically, your reason for getting married is, essentially, what immigration fraud is all about - getting married for a greencard. Yes, I know, you are not only getting married for the GC, you are expediting your plans due to your situation of being a foreigner and here on borrowed time, and many of us do that - I did that too - but, basically what you are saying is "I am not sure if I am serious enough with my girlfriend to live with her, but I am sure I want to marry her, because that way I can get a GC and stay in the US". That would not fly with USCIS. Again, I am not judging, but I have to admit that I do find it weird for someone to be ready for marriage, but not ready for co-habitation. The bottom line is that though it does happen often, you should never marry for the sake of a GC. If you guys are convinced that is the route you want to take, and you do feel that you are ready and willing to take that step, then you should. But you do also need to recognize that in USCIS's eyes, it will look very suspicious that you're getting married right when your non-immigrant visa expired and you're filing for AOS, but you are not living together, even though you are in the same city, very close to each other, and very easily could be under the same roof. It will be challenging. Maybe not impossible - but definitely challenging.

Also, just to note about my personal situation, we basically ended up egtting married at city hall before our bigger wedding so that we could file for my GC before my student status expired. We had, however, at this point lived together for several years and in two countries, and we had been engaged for a year, and we had a wedding date set. So though essentially our city hall wedding was for GC purposes, our marriage was not, nor was the decision to originally get married.

Edited April 18, 2012 by Little_My

[SOflaherty 40]

I don't think you are going to get many people here actually willing to help you commit immigration fraud, and I believe it is against the TOS of the site.

[Krikit 1,165]

Closed for TOS violations.