K1 - Anxious and have questions

[ginroy69 0]

Firstly, let me start out by thanking you all for this community. I'm grateful to all of you for the time you've taken to participate, consolidate your experiences, and share your own journeys. You have been a valuable resource for us during this time.

That said, these forums have also become a major source of anxiety and terror. There are things we read here that we (perhaps foolishly) never considered could be a factor or could be held against us. It's all a learning experience though, albeit an emotionally trying one.

All that said, I'm really hoping you guys can help out with answering a few questions, so I can figure out the best way to proceed in the future, while we wait for our packet to be processed. I'll give you a little background info first.

I'm 42, and an US citizen by birth. He's 26, and a South African citizen by birth. We met in early 2009 playing World of Warcraft on the European servers. It was an almost instant bond, we were already inseparable in game and hooked on each other before we knew one another's real names, ages, locations, etc. In early 2011, near to our second anniversary as a couple, we decided it was far past time to take it to the next level and finally meet in person.

Now here are the things that worry me:

1. Our age difference.

It never occurred to me (or him I think) that this could be a potentially stumbling block. It's not something that really even comes up in "our world". He's just him and I'm just me. Is this something we should be concerned about? It's not something we can change.

2. Our personal meeting.

This also worries me, another of those things we never considered could be "bad" when we did it.

In mid-2011, he applied for a tourist visa to visit me here in the US. He wasn't working at the time, and I was; we figured it'd be easiest if he came here and he could stay for a month or two. The tourist visa was denied, and we discussed me coming to South Africa. Now, I have traveled around the US and have been to Europe, but I'm hardly a "seasoned" traveler, and was honestly a little scared about traveling to Africa as a woman alone. Eventually, I thought it would be best if we met for the first time on more "neutral ground", and chose Ireland, as South Africans can enter there with only a passport (no visa). We met there in December 2011 and spent two weeks together (through January 2012), nearly a $10k vacation in costs but so worth it.

Is this going to be an issue, that he has never come to the US and I have never been to South Africa? He obviously cannot come here to visit me, as they will not allow him a visa. I am still hesitant about traveling to Africa by myself, but will overcome my fear if it must be that way. I am also concerned about the finances. I make a good enough salary, but am not rich by any means. I can MORE than easily afford to support a family, let alone two people...but two international trips with hotel, etc., in the same year is stretching the savings and credit cards to a frightening degree. We don't want to start our marriage off with $20k in debt. But again, what must be, must be. (As well as a possible third flight if the visa is approved)

3. The application and the interview

I read somewhere on here that they generally made their decision even before the interview, so I "front loaded" the app. I attached SOME of our phone logs, SOME of our skype call logs, SOME of our skype chats, SOME of our gmail chats, SOME of our emails, SOME captures from our Facebook interactions. All in all, once all the logs, bills, and screen captures were done, we had almost 2000 pages of emails, chats, etc. I only sent 10-15 pages of each type though, along with some photos of us from Ireland. Was that enough? I don't think I can send in more now? Is there anything else we can take to the interview to help? Will they even look at it?

I might have more questions to come. I am so anxious. I have been having trouble sleeping since I since in the application. We got the email confirmation of receipt yesterday, so things are moving now.

Once again, thank you so much, for everything.

[Tygrys 143]

Welcome to VJ. Relax. Everything will be fine.

To answer your questions:

1. No.

2. No. You have to meet in person during 2 years prior to filing. There is no requirement where you have to meet and they don't care.

3. Yes. He can take more to the interview if you feel that's not enough.

[Enigma11561 336]

If it makes you feel more comfortable, my 17 YO cousin, a girl in college, spent some 6 months in South Africa doing some type of school work. She had a blast and never felt scared. Except when she tried bungee jumping !

[Tygrys 143]

If it makes you feel more comfortable, my 17 YO cousin, a girl in college, spent some 6 months in South Africa doing some type of school work. She had a blast and never felt scared. Except when she tried bungee jumping !

She wants to save some money by not going there, which is perfectly okay. No bungee jumping in SA required to get K1.

[patient2010 93]

welcome to vj!

[ginroy69 0]

I think the way we had our meeting will be (should be) OK for the first parts of the process (the NOA2 stage), but I'm worried when the consular interview comes, they will question it.

[ginroy69 0]

I think the way we had our meeting will be (should be) OK for the first parts of the process (the NOA2 stage), but I'm worried when the consular interview comes, they will question it.

By that she means us meeting in Ireland and not how we met originally.

[Zee Bee 61]

1. Our age difference.

It never occurred to me (or him I think) that this could be a potentially stumbling block. It's not something that really even comes up in "our world". He's just him and I'm just me. Is this something we should be concerned about? It's not something we can change.

This may be an issue but people with big age differences have been successful. You just need to have plenty to prove your relationship.

2. Our personal meeting.

This also worries me, another of those things we never considered could be "bad" when we did it.

In mid-2011, he applied for a tourist visa to visit me here in the US. He wasn't working at the time, and I was; we figured it'd be easiest if he came here and he could stay for a month or two. The tourist visa was denied, and we discussed me coming to South Africa. Now, I have traveled around the US and have been to Europe, but I'm hardly a "seasoned" traveler, and was honestly a little scared about traveling to Africa as a woman alone. Eventually, I thought it would be best if we met for the first time on more "neutral ground", and chose Ireland, as South Africans can enter there with only a passport (no visa). We met there in December 2011 and spent two weeks together (through January 2012), nearly a $10k vacation in costs but so worth it.

Is this going to be an issue, that he has never come to the US and I have never been to South Africa? He obviously cannot come here to visit me, as they will not allow him a visa. I am still hesitant about traveling to Africa by myself, but will overcome my fear if it must be that way. I am also concerned about the finances. I make a good enough salary, but am not rich by any means. I can MORE than easily afford to support a family, let alone two people...but two international trips with hotel, etc., in the same year is stretching the savings and credit cards to a frightening degree. We don't want to start our marriage off with $20k in debt. But again, what must be, must be. (As well as a possible third flight if the visa is approved)

The requirement is meeting within the 2 years preceding the petition. It does not matter where. The one meeting is more than enough to qualify you for the K1. Having multiple meetings is also good proof of your relationship but others are successful with only the first trip as proof. Make sure you have hotel receipts, airline boarding passes, pictures etc of your time together. They may ask why you didn't meet in South Africa and at that point your fiance can bring up your concerns...not a big deal (IMHO).

3. The application and the interview

I read somewhere on here that they generally made their decision even before the interview, so I "front loaded" the app. I attached SOME of our phone logs, SOME of our skype call logs, SOME of our skype chats, SOME of our gmail chats, SOME of our emails, SOME captures from our Facebook interactions. All in all, once all the logs, bills, and screen captures were done, we had almost 2000 pages of emails, chats, etc. I only sent 10-15 pages of each type though, along with some photos of us from Ireland. Was that enough? I don't think I can send in more now? Is there anything else we can take to the interview to help? Will they even look at it?

It sounds like you sent enough for the petition but when it comes to the interview I always advise people to take everything, no matter how insignificant you may think it is. Not many going through South Africa post here much but it is not as hard as some of the other consulates in Africa. Just be prepared, do your homework and you should be fine.

Good luck!!