How do you handle nosy and controlling stepsons or step daughter

[islandbaby 1]

I know either one of us or we know someone who is married to their spouse who has children in their past relationship. because you love this person, your husband/or wife you accept thier kids as your own, you treat them nice respect them as who they are but for some reason they are nosy and controling your relationship with their dad or mom. seems lke they dont want you to be happy w marrying their dad or mom. do you guys feel like you outcast sometimes around with this kind of children?Anyone can voice out their opinion.

Edited April 13, 2012 by islandbaby

[IR5FORMUMSIE 850]

I know either one of us or we know someone who is married to their spouse who has children in their past relationship. because you love this person, your husband/or wife you accept thier kids as your own, you treat them nice respect them as who they are but for some reason they are nosy and controling your relationship with their dad or mom. seems lke they dont want you to be happy w marrying their dad or mom. do you guys feel like you outcast sometimes around with this kind of children?Anyone can voice out their opinion.

Since members of the law enforcement community are monitoring these communications, I'm going to refuse to respond to your query. I would say to give it time. You will always have to deal with the feeling of being an interloper, after all you are replacing the other parent, in their eyes. That's to be expected. If this issue doesn't have a resolution after fair amount of time, then it you just keep doing what you're doing and perhaps counselling might be in order. The hostility will dissipate in time, if not, professional help or a visit to the Dr. Phil show for public ridicule might be warranted.

[Ontarkie 14,221]

I have 4 kids from a previous marriage. I'm sure my husband and kids went through some adjustment having to share me. Kids are noisy something my husband found out right off the bat.

What age are the kids? Have your husband include you and the kids to do fun things. The easiest way for kids to open and see you as a family is to get involved. It will take time though nothing is done overnight.

One thing my younger two would do when my husband and I sat on the couch together they wanted to cuddle with me also. So we would all cuddle together and it helped the bonding as a family. We didn't keep them from being next to me so my husband could have me to himself we included them. You have plenty of time when kids are asleep for alone time.

It is a lot easier to do with kids vs teens. Teens take a different approach and their father must make sure they at the very least are respectful to you. But you didn't say what age the kids are so I will leave it at that.

[islandbaby 1]

Since members of the law enforcement community are monitoring these communications, I'm going to refuse to respond to your query. I would say to give it time. You will always have to deal with the feeling of being an interloper, after all you are replacing the other parent, in their eyes. That's to be expected. If this issue doesn't have a resolution after fair amount of time, then it you just keep doing what you're doing and perhaps counselling might be in order. The hostility will dissipate in time, if not, professional help or a visit to the Dr. Phil show for public ridicule might be warranted.

you probably right, maybe visit dr phil show would be best. and time can only tell. kids are kids anyway.

[islandbaby 1]

I have 4 kids from a previous marriage. I'm sure my husband and kids went through some adjustment having to share me. Kids are noisy something my husband found out right off the bat.

What age are the kids? Have your husband include you and the kids to do fun things. The easiest way for kids to open and see you as a family is to get involved. It will take time though nothing is done overnight.

One thing my younger two would do when my husband and I sat on the couch together they wanted to cuddle with me also. So we would all cuddle together and it helped the bonding as a family. We didn't keep them from being next to me so my husband could have me to himself we included them. You have plenty of time when kids are asleep for alone time.

It is a lot easier to do with kids vs teens. Teens take a different approach and their father must make sure they at the very least are respectful to you. But you didn't say what age the kids are so I will leave it at that.

Hi this is not my issue , im happily married and two months on the way, our first marriage for both of us.. just wondering how people respond to this question. i dont mean no harm to step children. jsut wondering.

[spookyturtle 9,465]

Walk tall and carry a big stick.