=((((((((( Fiance just found out he has cancer

[mercy 1]

Okay, now the problem is that he needs to find new living arrangements. We can't live in the situation he's in right now. We'd need our own new small place to live. There is NO way he is going to have me living with him and a roommate in a one bedroom apt. It's already cramped as it is and so forth..plus I think it's rather expensive to begin with.

The other issue is that I got divorced last year. I read that getting married in Ontario takes a letter from a lawyer on our behalf, stating we should be able to marry, which costs about $250 then he has to send it to the office that issues marriage certificates. I read that this process can take up to two and a half months before we can even be 'ok'd' to marry. Anyone familiar with this?

I wasn't familiar with this, but here's what I found. It doesn't look like it's $250, and if you do apply, contact his member of Parliament and see if they can expedite the application given your circumstance. Where in Ontario does your fiance live? Rent in places like Toronto and Ottawa can be really expensive, but it's possible to find something reasonable, you just have to look around. Do you think you could tough it out and live with them for a little while, just until you find something for the two of you? What about asking his roommate to move out?

[Tracy 0]

I do know some of the answers you need. As for the Ontario divorce thing. What that is is that the province of Ontario wants you to take your divorce decress to an Ontairo lawyer to get it certified as a real divorce. Ontario is the only province that requires this for Canada Immigration.

Okay now the difference between inland spouse and outside spouse is pretty different. Outside spouse can go quicker however you are not suppose to visit Canada during the process. Many people do get across okay but you do run the risk of being turned around if you cannot prove your ties to the US. If you are turned around at the border you will most likely be denied your PR.

Inland spouse does go a little slower however you can be with your spouse. Major downfall is that you cannot work and have no benifits. The only way you can work is to apply for a work visa which is usually refused if you are appling for PR. However once you get your approval in principal or AIP you can apply for a work permit and work while you are waiting for the final okay from Canada Immigraion (CIC).

The major benifit of Canada immigraion is that you cannot be refused due to income. Your husband can go on disability and still qualify to be your sponser as long as he doesn't get any extra money from disabiltiy to support you. The big problem with Canada immigration is that it costs ALOT more money that US immigration costs....cost me almost $5000 when everything was said and done. If you have acess to Yahoo groups there is a group on there called Canadian immigration and their link is http://www.geocities.com/canadian_immigtation_club they are a very helpful group that only discusses spouse immigration to Canada. You may get some more info from them as it has been over 3 years since I did my Canadian Immigration and things may have changed a little bit. There is a lot of people there in Ontairo and they may be able to give you a lot more rescources.

I'm sorry to hear about the cancer. I wish you all the best which ever way you choose to go. You can PM me too if you have any questions.

[Lyric 0]

Okay, now the problem is that he needs to find new living arrangements. We can't live in the situation he's in right now. We'd need our own new small place to live. There is NO way he is going to have me living with him and a roommate in a one bedroom apt. It's already cramped as it is and so forth..plus I think it's rather expensive to begin with.

The other issue is that I got divorced last year. I read that getting married in Ontario takes a letter from a lawyer on our behalf, stating we should be able to marry, which costs about $250 then he has to send it to the office that issues marriage certificates. I read that this process can take up to two and a half months before we can even be 'ok'd' to marry. Anyone familiar with this?

I wasn't familiar with this, but here's what I found. It doesn't look like it's $250, and if you do apply, contact his member of Parliament and see if they can expedite the application given your circumstance. Where in Ontario does your fiance live? Rent in places like Toronto and Ottawa can be really expensive, but it's possible to find something reasonable, you just have to look around. Do you think you could tough it out and live with them for a little while, just until you find something for the two of you? What about asking his roommate to move out?

I went to the link you gave me about the procedure of getting the 'ok' to marry after a divorce outside of Canada and here is what it says is needed:

If you were divorced outside of Canada, you must obtain authorization from the minister of Government Services before you can be issued a marriage licence. For authorization, send the following documents to: A completed marriage licence application.

A Statement of Sole Responsibility for each divorce signed by both parties of this marriage.

An original or court-certified copy (certified by the proper court officer in the jurisdiction the divorce or annulment was granted) of the divorce degree or annulment. If the decree is in a language other than English or French, include a translated copy together with an affadavit sworn by the translator.

A legal opinion from an Ontario lawyer, addressed to both applicants, giving reasons why the divorce or annulment should be recognized in the Province of Ontario. The Office of the Registrar General will fax a sample legal opinion letter to your lawyer if you call (807)-343-7492 or toll-free in Ontario at 1-800-461-2156.

A marriage licence application form, Statement of Sole Responsibility form and a suggested format for a lawyer´s opinion letter are also available from most municipal offices.

The lawyer letter is last on the list and from what I understand it is mandatory. Is this what you all understand? Maybe I could find an attny willing to lower his fee. They're all so outrageous Just for a freaking letter.

And yes, my fiance lives in Toronto and the rent is rediculous. It's almost $900 a month and it's just a small little plain apt in a very old building that has caught on fire 3 times in the last three or four months. Not very safe I don't think. sigh. Anyway, his roommate might move out but I just don't know.

[meauxna 15]

Tons of creative housing options: http://toronto.craigslist.org/

Best wishes to you both--it sounds like you're lucky to have each other.

[Lyric 0]

Tons of creative housing options: http://toronto.craigslist.org/

Best wishes to you both--it sounds like you're lucky to have each other.

Thank you Meauxna. Yes we are very lucky and blessed to have one another. I would do anything for him:(

[ljs 1]

If is not imparative to stay in Toronto, there are other less expensive places to live, Kitchener has a very good, brand new cancer treatment centre, and the rent there is signifigantly cheaper, it is 45 mins from Toronto.

If there is anything I can do to help, let me know. Wishing you all the best.

Linda

[jamrok 0]

One could contact the Mtl consualte and see if they can move it up, then if not successful, contact ur congress person. best of luck

So sorry to hear this....so VERY sorry to hear.

[Lyric 0]

If is not imparative to stay in Toronto, there are other less expensive places to live, Kitchener has a very good, brand new cancer treatment centre, and the rent there is signifigantly cheaper, it is 45 mins from Toronto.

If there is anything I can do to help, let me know. Wishing you all the best.

Linda

Honestly, I don't even know if my fiance is going to go for this either. He doesn't want to be a burden to me in ANY way, even though he still misses me and wants me with him. It's going to be very hard for me to throw all this at him. He has no idea I'm even contemplating moving there, since I haven't got to talk to him today. He honestly thinks he can do this alone but he can't. No one with an illness like cancer can do it alone. Besides, that, I would lose my mind with worry being separated from him. He thinks I would be fine but I've tried to explain that is not the way it works. I am a worrier to begin with and I have just about had a nervous breakdown dealing with all this the last couple of days, but I have to be the one to pull it all together. He has so much on his mind, obviously. sigh.

Linda, do you have any links to info about Kitchener? Is it a really small town? I'm more than willing to take any help and info I can get.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Hi,

Your MPP (Member of PROVINCIAL Parliament) may be able to expedite the marriage license situation so your fiance can contact him or her as well as the MP (Member of Parliament - federal) for help with immigration and CPP Disability.

Kitchener-Waterloo is a large urban area - two cities that have actually grown so that their boundaries crash up against each other. It is a lovely place to live, much nicer than Toronto, and well worth taking a look at for living accommodations.

Here is a link to information about Kitchener-Waterloo:

http://www.kitchener.ca/

http://www.city.waterloo.on.ca/ -

Here is a link to today's rental listings in the Kitchener Record, the daily newspaper:

http://therecord.livedeal.ca/search?zip=N2...es&browse=1

If you are interested in pursuing information google is your friend:. Good luck!

Edited October 9, 2006 by Kathryn41

[Lyric 0]

Hi,

Your MPP (Member of PROVINCIAL Parliament) may be able to expedite the marriage license situation so your fiance can contact him or her as well as the MP (Member of Parliament - federal) for help with immigration and CPP Disability.

Kitchener-Waterloo is a large urban area - two cities that have actually grown so that their boundaries crash up against each other. It is a lovely place to live, much nicer than Toronto, and well worth taking a look at for living accommodations.

Here is a link to information about Kitchener-Waterloo:

http://www.kitchener.ca/

http://www.city.waterloo.on.ca/ -

Here is a link to today's rental listings in the Kitchener Record, the daily newspaper:

http://therecord.livedeal.ca/search?zip=N2...es&browse=1

If you are interested in pursuing information google is your friend:. Good luck!

Kathryn41,

I appreciate all the links. I don't mind doing research and trying to find information, it's just that he and I have to move quickly and decide what we are going to do. So everyone who has chipped in and given links and extra info has saved me a lot of extra time AND the energy that I desperately need to talk with my fiance about this and to figure out what in the world we are going to do. Whatever happens I want it done before he has his surgery b/c after that he's not going to be able to do anything for quite some time and I need to be there for him by then. Like I said before, I don't even know when the surgery is, yet and that is worrisome as well.

It's really hard trying to work full time, and look for info and have heartbwrenching talks with him trying to figure out what we're going to do in a matter of a couple of days...with major sleep depravation.

I appreciate ALL of YOU who are trying to help and all the prayers too.

[JenT 0]

WHATEVER you do... do not delay his treatment.

And keep us posted. We'll be thinking of you. Take some time to sort all of this out now.

You're going to need to start taking care of yourself now. If you don't, you'll wind up in the hospital yourself. What good would that do?

Jen

[TRKCKL11 0]

Lyric where in canada is he located ?

You can call provincial goverment services for health care and houseing also.If you can take a leave of absense from work would be better to come here through his cancer treatments, you may have trouble even later on with insurance anyways. Our prayers are with you both.

I work in health care so if you need advice please feel free to email me

[Lyric 0]

I most definitely don't want his treatment delayed. It's just that I'm in the dark right now. I'm having to drag information out of him as it is. It's extremely hard for him to talk to me about it. I'm afraid it's a lot worse than he's telling me.

Which leads me to this question which he and I had talked about. I know you all have a privacy act about medical records there, as we do in the U.S., right? Do you think that if he gave written and verbal permission to his doctor that she would speak to me directly about his case, seeing that I'm his fiance and he has no one else? I think that would be one extra burden taken off of him and I would be able to know the extent of what is going on with him and would know exactly when his surgery and treatment is supposed to happen.

Lyric where in canada is he located ?

You can call provincial goverment services for health care and houseing also.If you can take a leave of absense from work would be better to come here through his cancer treatments, you may have trouble even later on with insurance anyways. Our prayers are with you both.

I work in health care so if you need advice please feel free to email me

TRKCKL11,

He is in Toronto near Scarborough. I would try to take a leave of absence from work. I could do that part but that means I have to do something with my apartment. I can't pay for it and be up there too. And I can only stay up there no more than 6 months at a time. This is going to be a long process assuming all goes well. I just thought we'd be much better off getting married at some point. The sooner the better so that I can try and at least get a part time job to bring in some income as I take care of him.

[Lyric 0]

I do know some of the answers you need. As for the Ontario divorce thing. What that is is that the province of Ontario wants you to take your divorce decress to an Ontairo lawyer to get it certified as a real divorce. Ontario is the only province that requires this for Canada Immigration.

Okay now the difference between inland spouse and outside spouse is pretty different. Outside spouse can go quicker however you are not suppose to visit Canada during the process. Many people do get across okay but you do run the risk of being turned around if you cannot prove your ties to the US. If you are turned around at the border you will most likely be denied your PR.

Inland spouse does go a little slower however you can be with your spouse. Major downfall is that you cannot work and have no benifits. The only way you can work is to apply for a work visa which is usually refused if you are appling for PR. However once you get your approval in principal or AIP you can apply for a work permit and work while you are waiting for the final okay from Canada Immigraion (CIC).

The major benifit of Canada immigraion is that you cannot be refused due to income. Your husband can go on disability and still qualify to be your sponser as long as he doesn't get any extra money from disabiltiy to support you. The big problem with Canada immigration is that it costs ALOT more money that US immigration costs....cost me almost $5000 when everything was said and done. If you have acess to Yahoo groups there is a group on there called Canadian immigration and their link is http://www.geocities.com/canadian_immigtation_club they are a very helpful group that only discusses spouse immigration to Canada. You may get some more info from them as it has been over 3 years since I did my Canadian Immigration and things may have changed a little bit. There is a lot of people there in Ontairo and they may be able to give you a lot more rescources.

I'm sorry to hear about the cancer. I wish you all the best which ever way you choose to go. You can PM me too if you have any questions.

I didn't even see your post till now. $5000?!!! That will take every bit of my savings I was hoping to use to live on while there This just gets worse and worse.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

I would be very surprised if it cost $5000 - the application fee is hefty yes - around $500 and then there is the right of landing fee - which has been halved so I believe is around $450 but that isn't due until the very end of the process. You have to pay for the security checks - FBI and from every State in which you have lived and there is a medical requirement asw well. If you apply for Temporary Resident Permits - which are like visitor visas or work visas - then they are around $75 to $150 (these prices may be more since I last worked with Canadian immigration 2 years ago) and need to be renewed every 6 months - that is how you would be able to stay in Canada longer than the initial 6 month period.

You don't have to decide that right away - the important thing is to get your fiance settled and into treatment and as an American you can visit and assist him. That will give you the time to determine what course of action you want to pursue - plus it will give you a better idea of his medical condition and its prognosis. Right now you are operating in a vacuum and that is a scary place to be because there is so much that you don't know. You don't have to decide all of it right away - you do have some breathing room and can take things one step at a time for right now.

Yes, your fiance should be able to provide you with permission for his medical providers to discuss his medical condition with you. You may want to look into a Power of Attorney form as well which would allow you to act on his behalf if for some reason he becomes unable to make certain medical decisions for himself. This doesn't have to be permanent but an extra bit of insurance for him to know that his wishes are followed during his course of treatment. This is a Provincial form, btw, and the MPP can help with that.

Good luck, and do take care of yourself as well. Things will all work out. You may be thinking that things are worse than your fiance is admitting to you because he isn't being as forthcoming as you would like; it could be that it isn't as bad as you are fearing as well and he is trying to reassure you, not realizing that you do better with more information rather than less. Keep thinking positively for both of you. Cancer can be beaten.