HOW DO YOU DEAL

[dwheels76 5,475]

I went to see husband March 18, 2011 and stayed 6 months. Got back September 27th, 2011. Here's its almost 7 months since we saw each other. I will be going back I pray end of May or June. Than hopefully after that back again for interview and to bring husband home.

My husband works so hard and weird hours day to day its hard to get together. So we talk when we can text always. man I am missing him.

[jaycali 415]

Completely ramdom, I know... but I am very curious as to how other people do it. For me is a first time. I am madly in love with my boyfriend (soon to be husband) who lives in another country. I never thought I would be the one to do a long distance relationship. NEVER in my wildest dreams I thought I could... but true love takes us to different places, and makes us do things we thought we never could.It is, without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but we are soooooo worth it. We have our ups and our downs, but most importantly we are always there for each other. I just wonder, how other people do it? how do you deal with the distance? Just curious...

This is going to sound contrary to everyone else, and not really logical, but my wife and I sometimes limit our communication. We both have full-time jobs and while we often spend hours on Skype, we can also go days without it. All in all, time goes faster when we "do our own thing" and seems to move unbearably slow when we communicate all the time.

For us it has become a fine balance of keeping time passing by quickly, while keeping a healthy level of communication.

[Pitaya 2,577]

Near-daily Skype and email are godsends, plus knowing that it's a temporary separation gets you through this time. We talk about the most mundane things like restaurants we want to try out when he's back in PDX, movies/TV shows watched, or me sending photos showing off a recipe success.

That's pretty much our MO also.

Skype, Yahoo IM, email, QQ, telephone, text messaging...... two clean tuna cans and lotsa string....LOL.....

[sara..... 371]

This is going to sound contrary to everyone else, and not really logical, but my wife and I sometimes limit our communication. We both have full-time jobs and while we often spend hours on Skype, we can also go days without it. All in all, time goes faster when we "do our own thing" and seems to move unbearably slow when we communicate all the time.

For us it has become a fine balance of keeping time passing by quickly, while keeping a healthy level of communication.

i think if that is what works the best for the two of you there is nothing wrong in it

sara

[dwheels76 5,475]

This is going to sound contrary to everyone else, and not really logical, but my wife and I sometimes limit our communication. We both have full-time jobs and while we often spend hours on Skype, we can also go days without it. All in all, time goes faster when we "do our own thing" and seems to move unbearably slow when we communicate all the time.

For us it has become a fine balance of keeping time passing by quickly, while keeping a healthy level of communication.

Okay now I don't feel like the other couple that doesn't speak for hours all days. I sometimes wish. But you are right the time we don't when we finally do get through network issues and the right time to talk its so magical we talk over each other to catch up with things.

With Nigerian network and dealing with lack of power so his phone is dead now and than its so hard to stay connected. Sometimes he has to walk out to the road and get better reception. So every minute is so precious. Yesterday for example I called him like 10 times in a row couldn't hear him he couldn't hear me or we say hi and get disconnection. But we will all win in the end when our babies are home with us.

[jose_leti 7]

We do exactly the same things.

I completely agree. The distance has a huge impact on the relationship. there are good days and bad days. we schedule our days so that we can stay connected via skype the longest time possible. When we are busy we always catch up at night and sleep with skype on. we start our day saying good morning. this journey is tough and not for everyone. im am grateful to have found her and our bond always keeps us going forward. god bless and hang in there. your day will come when you are togetehr for ever.

[afoyoswa 178]

Okay now I don't feel like the other couple that doesn't speak for hours all days. I sometimes wish. But you are right the time we don't when we finally do get through network issues and the right time to talk its so magical we talk over each other to catch up with things.

With Nigerian network and dealing with lack of power so his phone is dead now and than its so hard to stay connected. Sometimes he has to walk out to the road and get better reception. So every minute is so precious. Yesterday for example I called him like 10 times in a row couldn't hear him he couldn't hear me or we say hi and get disconnection. But we will all win in the end when our babies are home with us.

What she said, and I also agree with the person who talked about how the time seems to go by much faster when you keep busy and don't spend all your time trying to stay connected by phone/email/webcam/etc. In the end it is just unsatisfying because it's not the same as interacting in person, and therefore no amount of contact can ever be enough. We have a long phone conversation (~1 hour) about once a week when power, network, time differences, work schedules, etc. permit, and lately we've been trying to work in a few short conversations during the week, too. In between we email and text sporadically. We've used webcams to talk a few times, but it's really data-intensive and gets really expensive for him (I have unlimited access). See also: comment above about "unsatisfying." All in all it kind of works adequately, but most of the time I feel like we're just treading water until we can be in the same place, not making much actual progress getting closer. Frustrating, but what can you do?

[kate&javi 26]

Skype! It is truly and seriously the best thing on Earth! When I was apart from my fiance, we Skyped daily and since we both had Blackberries, we BB'ed constantly.

Luckily I was able to move to his country and find a job after I finished my graduate degree (I work as an ESL Teacher and that's my graduate degree is in so I was basically preparing myself to move to another country to teach English, whether I had an international relationship or not). Since we had met a few months before I graduated, I took a trip to see him because I didn't have a job in the US to keep me there (I was really lucky in that aspect, I guess) and remained in Honduras with him until this very day. Now I work at a bilingual school and we live together, but to be honest I understand completely how hard it is to be away from the one you love.

I can't imagine how all of you feel to be away from your fiance, but remember that each day that passes is one day closer! Good luck to everyone here! We are all in similar boats.

[C&Q 25]

Completely ramdom, I know... but I am very curious as to how other people do it. For me is a first time. I am madly in love with my boyfriend (soon to be husband) who lives in another country. I never thought I would be the one to do a long distance relationship. NEVER in my wildest dreams I thought I could... but true love takes us to different places, and makes us do things we thought we never could.

It is, without a doubt, the hardest thing I have ever had to do, but we are soooooo worth it. We have our ups and our downs, but most importantly we are always there for each other. I just wonder, how other people do it? how do you deal with the distance? Just curious...

Of course we're trying to talk as often as possible and see each other on Skype every day.

It's been hard for the both of us but I'm trying to tell myself that everything will be over soon and that every day that goes by is a day closer to him and the kids... Always trying to be positive and stay focused.

[StarGirl 13]

Skype. And lots of talking about what we are going to do when we are together again

Sometimes I am musing how it used to be for couples BEFORE Internet, computers or even phones. Somehow it makes life more bearable.. LOL

[Ayman___ 92]

We Both have magic jack so he can call me on my cell anytime.we also text message daily.Cam on yahoo and talk on the phone.Alot of times because of the time difference between us I fall asleep while speaking to him.He leaves the cam open and the phone even when he goes to work and I wake and see Our home in Egypt makes me sad but We both know it's worth waiting for.Keeping busy work and school plus taking classes to improve my Arabic makes time go faster.Distance doesn't matter if you really love the person, what matters most is your honesty and trust for that relationship to work out.There is no long distance about love, it always finds a way to bring hearts together no matter how many miles there are between them.I wish all of you a happy Journey and hope you reunite with your love one's soon GOD bless

[StraightShooter 62]

Videos. Lots of videos. A picture is worth 1,000 words and video is 30 pictures a second... that's 30,000 words per second!

Internet isn't available where my fiancee lives, so she has to travel to an internet cafe to chat and doing that after dark is dangerous. With the 12-13 hour time difference, she only goes to the cafe in her mornings. We're lucky if we see each other on Yahoo Messenger 3 times a week. There have been times when it's only been once a week and that really sucks. Phone service in her area is sporadic too, so we don't talk on the phone very often. Not to mention the rolling power blackouts.

But, we text each other each morning and evening and we send each other pix and videos often. We share videos of ourselves preparing food, going out and about and other such general activities. She emails hers to me and I post mine on Photobucket and just send her a link.

I've sent her videos of me making Pan de Sal and cooking other foods. I've "taken her with me" while going down the road to visit friends, picking up chinese food, while fishing, while hunting, while running errands, shopping, etc.

And I especially send her videos of what my home is like, the property I have and what life is like here. That way, she has a much more familiar idea of what her life will be like once she arrives.

Photos are great but videos tell a richer story, even if it's a mundane thing like going to the store or cooking. Last week I sent her a 3 minute video of me preparing shrimp fajitas and yesterday I sent another of some landscaping that needs to be done, which we discussed in our chat last night. It was good for her to see what it's really like and important that she be able to interact and put forth her own ideas. Doing so bonds us even closer.

Emails, texting and pictures are all good, but videos are great.

[Nathalie2007 3]

what keeps me going is the fact that I know we have a plan to make it end.. I think I had a harder time before we sent in our petition than I do now I know its only a matter of time before we are together and I remind my self of that when ever I have a bad day

other than that BlackBerry Messenger is my saving grace

[LeftCoastLady 441]

Videos. Lots of videos. A picture is worth 1,000 words and video is 30 pictures a second... that's 30,000 words per second!

I do this as well. Before my fiancé's first trip to Portland, I took videos of me riding the bus over a bridge, walking around, etc. I also send him videos of my crazy cat.

[kittylondon 47]

all the usual ways - skype, gchat, facetime, twitter, instagram, any other app we can get our hands on! my fiance even set up a live stream of our puppy so i can log on and keep an eye on her while he's out the house at med school! (we adopted her together last september). we also send care packages (cadburys for him, and creole seasoning for me!) and make videos of our days. i read a lot to keep my minds off things (currently reading Zeitoun - absolutely amazing novel for people interested in new orleans), and my fiance plays a lot of sport. i think it's important to maintain time for your own interests, sitting waiting for him to come online every night would drive me crazy...

most importantly (for us), we save for our next plane ticket to see each other... and for me, that's gonna be a one way ticket

continued good luck to everyone!