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Posted

My wife is hot!! She's a 9, I am a 3 (being generous to my self). I know I am lucky as hell. I am lucky we are both catholics and have the same views on divorce. We built a big tree trunk with our marriage. Thats the key for us to be together for good.

pics or this statement is false, haha

41Ihm7.png
Posted

I'm sure she'll have a logical explanation. She''ll explain everything to you and make you see that it's really not her, it's you.

I dumped my cheating ####### 3 years ago, merely a month after we moved into our first (and last) apartment. I threw her, her sister, her brother-in-law and her 3 year old niece out of my apartment (the sister and kid were welcome to stay, but they opted not to). She thought I was stupid and would never find out about her b/f, but I did. I confronted her via the internet and told her we were getting a divorce. Then, after thinking long and hard about it, I decided to play along with her and act like I believed her story, because she had one that was designed to make me see that it was me, not her. I moved here, got a job teaching English and gathered more evidence. When I felt like the time was right I confronted her again and threw her out.

My advice is to get on a plane and surprise her with chocolates and flowers. Then show her the pic and dump her on the spot.

Your in Nam or was this in the states?

The Buddha said "The more loving the more suffering"

By birth is not one an outcast,

By birth is not one a noble,but

By action is one an outcast,

By action is one a noble.

Buddha.

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Vietnam
Timeline
Posted

I'm in Vietnam.

Our divorce became final a few weeks ago. kicking.gif

Been a long time brother :thumbs: ... missin ya!... that took forever to get finalized.... Thuys over there now... will be al summer if you are up north again.. If anyone knows first hand the cheatin BS that can happen you do... can write a good book about it too...

"Every one of us bears within himself the possibilty of all passions, all destinies of life in all its forms. Nothing human is foreign to us" - Edward G. Robinson.

Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

Marriages are based heavily on "love" and "respect", when one decides to be unfaithful there's no longer any "love" nor "respect", and that would render the marriage meaningless in this particular case.

Of course. Self-preservation should be the primary motivation now, and you can still do this graciously with kindness instead of malice. Any effort or thoughts on retribution are wasted. I would look back through the relationship for things that were little red flags. One you mentioned about getting more distant when she moved to the city. But your radar is probably working. There will be more signals. You explained them away, or accepted her explanations of them. But pursuing them further in light of this indiscretion may lead to more evidence.

Relationships can recover from affairs. Mine includes the permission to have them - if they are in the open and approval granted. It is the deceit, the back-stabbing, the bad faith - this can't be the foundation of a new marriage. A marriage has to have a solid foundation first that can withstand this kind of trauma.

You know your cousins better than we do so nobody can advise you on the quality of that information. I have hired private detectives on more than one occasion. Definitely worth the money when a whole marriage relies on the information. One got bullet-proof evidence of a wife having an affair. The other was watching a gal in South America I was seeing. Her father and brother caught him, and it was a heck of a chase on motorcycles through the city before they got him. But they did, and forced him to confess who he was working for. So what. It was no betrayal on my part. She turned out to be untrustworthy, so the strategy of checking up on her independently proved itself out in the end.

Filed: Country: Vietnam (no flag)
Timeline
Posted (edited)

Been a long time brother :thumbs: ... missin ya!... that took forever to get finalized.... Thuys over there now... will be al summer if you are up north again.. If anyone knows first hand the cheatin BS that can happen you do... can write a good book about it too...

Yeah, we've got a regular dysfunctional family reunion going on here...

Miss you all too. How long has Thuy been back? When are you coming back?

I've actually considered returning to Hanoi, or somewhere up north, mainly because of the higher wages for English teachers. I'd have to come back down south for the winter, though!

I just got back from Cambodia, where I got another 1 year visa. Phnom Phen is a nice little town and I may stay there next time. It's hard to imagine living anywhere else, though...

I've been here long enough that a book seems feasible. Now if I could just find a wife who can:

1.) type my dictations, without understanding what I'm talking about.

and

2.) remain "boyfriend free", while we're married.

Edited by Teacher Mark
Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline
Posted

Do you guys believe in polygamy or something? I can't be in a relationship like that. Marriage is one man and one woman.

No. And we are strictly monogamous despite the mutual permission in principle for an "excused absense". Neither of us sees it worth any effort or money to pull it off. Why bother when home has everything you need? Some day in the future the right set of circumstances might fall in our laps. And we'll talk it over if and when it happens.

The point is that the indiscretion has nothing to do with an extramarital fling per se. It has to do with what the pledge is between husband and wife, and the normal case is strict fidelity. Despite so, a significant fraction of marriages have affairs and survive them. Some are saying to give her another chance and I say no despite being more open minded about extramarital sex. It has to start off with trust, communication, and respect.

Holy mackerel - kissing in public in Viet Nam like that is almost beggging to be caught for how brazen it is. That it is done so publicly, in front of relatives even - whilst the husband is in the dark - this is big time losing face in Asian countries. An extreme insult.

Posted

Yeah, we've got a regular dysfunctional family reunion going on here...

Miss you all too. How long has Thuy been back? When are you coming back?

I've actually considered returning to Hanoi, or somewhere up north, mainly because of the higher wages for English teachers. I'd have to come back down south for the winter, though!

I just got back from Cambodia, where I got another 1 year visa. Phnom Phen is a nice little town and I may stay there next time. It's hard to imagine living anywhere else, though...

I've been here long enough that a book seems feasible. Now if I could just find a wife who can:

1.) type my dictations, without understanding what I'm talking about.

and

2.) remain "boyfriend free", while we're married.

Get yourself a khmer wife, there #1.

The Buddha said "The more loving the more suffering"

By birth is not one an outcast,

By birth is not one a noble,but

By action is one an outcast,

By action is one a noble.

Buddha.

Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Vietnam
Timeline
Posted

No. And we are strictly monogamous despite the mutual permission in principle for an "excused absense". Neither of us sees it worth any effort or money to pull it off. Why bother when home has everything you need? Some day in the future the right set of circumstances might fall in our laps. And we'll talk it over if and when it happens.

The point is that the indiscretion has nothing to do with an extramarital fling per se. It has to do with what the pledge is between husband and wife, and the normal case is strict fidelity. Despite so, a significant fraction of marriages have affairs and survive them. Some are saying to give her another chance and I say no despite being more open minded about extramarital sex. It has to start off with trust, communication, and respect.

Holy mackerel - kissing in public in Viet Nam like that is almost beggging to be caught for how brazen it is. That it is done so publicly, in front of relatives even - whilst the husband is in the dark - this is big time losing face in Asian countries. An extreme insult.

I'm not going to judge you based on your relaionship.

Anyone saying give her another chance is not familiar with VN customs... Those that are will say one of two things, give her the boot no second chances, or go see and catch her yourself to be sure...

"Every one of us bears within himself the possibilty of all passions, all destinies of life in all its forms. Nothing human is foreign to us" - Edward G. Robinson.

Posted

:dancing:If you want to be happy for the rest of your life :dancing:

:dancing: Never make a pretty woman your wife :dancing:

:dancing: And for my personal point of view :dancing:

:dancing: Get an ugly girl to marry you! :dancing:

VO DEP LA VO NGUOI TA!!!!

I-130 Journey

USCIS

06-15-2008 : Marriage

08-16-2008 : I-130 Sent

08-18-2008 : I-130 Received

08-22-2008 : I-130 NOA1

02-02-2009 : I-130 NOA2 Approved 164 days from NOA1

NVC

02-04-2009 : Visited my wife for 2 weeks. 02-22-2009 come back to US

02-11-2009 : Received package from NVC

02-23-2009 : AOS Paid $70 (Online)

02-23-2009 : DS-3032 sent (by email)

02-25-2009 : Payment Received from my bank (AOS)

03-04-2009 : NVC has received the Choice of Agent DS-3032 (Online)

03-04-2009 : IV Application Processing Fees $400 (Online)

03-05-2009 : Payment Received from my bank (IV APS)

03-07-2009 : DS-230, and I-864 Sent (by USPS)

03-12-2009 : USPS confirm arrived at NVC for DS-230, & I-864

03-13-2009 : NVC received DS-230, & I-864 (Case in progress)

03-20-2009 : NVC case completed in 1 week NVC completed 03-20-2009.

04-02-2009 : NVC Left to HCM city

04-22-2009 : Medical Passed

05-12-2009 : Received a package IV from HCM Consulate by email

05-18-2009 : My wife got Pink.. yeah..

05-26-2009 : Visa received

06-18-2009 : US Entry!!! Yeah, my wife finally here.

06-29-2009 : Received SSN from snail mail

07-20-2009 : Green card received by mail

09-15-2009 : Writting test from DVM.

11-03-2009 : Driving Test.

01-20-2010 : Working.

04-20-2011 : Submit I751

04-26-2011 : Received I-797 NOA with Receipt Number

05-11-2011 : Received ASC Appointment Notice

06-03-2011 : Biometrics Apts @ 11:00 AM

10-11-2011 : Submit more evidence.

Posted

VO DEP LA VO NGUOI TA!!!!

God I hope not, there goes my wife to someone else.

The Buddha said "The more loving the more suffering"

By birth is not one an outcast,

By birth is not one a noble,but

By action is one an outcast,

By action is one a noble.

Buddha.

 
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