AOS from K1 when there's abuse

[jamesdean 1]

Hello everybody,

I am here in the U.S on a k-1 visa married within the 90days to my fiancee who is U.S citizen, I have applied for the adjustment of Status and just received an appointment for biometrics which is next week. The problem is this, my wife always threaten to send me back home on every little argument. She never let me go anywhere, she tells me what and what not to do, even going outside the house is a problem, never let me wear good close to go out, she says I over dress, meanwhile when she visited me in my home country that was how I dress and she was okay with it. She told me alot of lies before I came here,She took all the Money I came here with and dictates everything....I can not write more all I need is some advice please, as she always threaten to send me back home.

[TBoneTX 46,319]

This is not a healthy marriage. Why would you want to live for years in misery? End it and live your life freely. Better opportunities will come along.

[Paula&Anthony 3]

Very true... I dont know what to say.. O={ this is definitelly not a healthy relationship!

Well it's up to you to decide if you wanna keep on living like this or to leave her. I'd say try to talk to her very seriously

and figure out a way to work this out.. You are not a prisoner. She can't treat you like that: end of the story.

You gotta make a move. Maybe not staying together is the best choice.. You and you alone can make this decision.

I can't say much about you staying in the US. But i think that if you want to stay you can gather proof that you entered in

this marriage in good faith.. Find a lawyer and file for a divorce if you think this is the best for you.. O={

I wish you the best and hope you can sort things out.

Be strong ok?

[Leatherneck 693]

Granted such behavior makes her a rotten spouse - but she can not get you deported, that is noting but an idle threat.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Granted such behavior makes her a rotten spouse - but she can not get you deported, that is noting but an idle threat.

Just a correction here. He doesn't have a greencard yet so yes she CAN "get him deported" in the sense that she can pull her I-864, which will result in his AOS being denied and he'll have 30 days to leave the US.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

If you're not happy, leave... it's that simple. No-one deserves to be treated poorly. Don't let immigration to the US make you put up with such horrid behaviour. If you have trouble getting a ticket to leave then contact your embassy and ask for assistance. Maybe family members can help out. If she's like this now it will just get worse.

[Leatherneck 693]

Just a correction here. He doesn't have a greencard yet so yes she CAN "get him deported" in the sense that she can pull her I-864, which will result in his AOS being denied and he'll have 30 days to leave the US.

Sure, but does she know that and would she do it? From the OP's statement, she's on a power trip and enjoying it. That's why I say it's "nothing but an idle threat." In his case, he's put up with her ####### this long - get the green card then flip her the middle finger on the way out of the door, as a poke in the eye for having thus far put up with her nonsense. .

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Sure, but does she know that and would she do it? From the OP's statement, she's on a power trip and enjoying it. That's why I say it's "nothing but an idle threat." In his case, he's put up with her ####### this long - get the green card then flip her the middle finger on the way out of the door, as a poke in the eye for having thus far put up with her nonsense. .

Actually you said "She cannot get you deported" and that is what I was replying to. It's not an idle threat because the chance IS there.

Also, what you are suggesting here is considered immigration fraud. If he no longer wants to remain in the relationship he would be faking a relationship for immigration benefits which is immigration fraud.

[Basee 2]

Hello everybody,

I am here in the U.S on a k-1 visa married within the 90days to my fiancee who is U.S citizen, I have applied for the adjustment of Status and just received an appointment for biometrics which is next week. The problem is this, my wife always threaten to send me back home on every little argument. She never let me go anywhere, she tells me what and what not to do, even going outside the house is a problem, never let me wear good close to go out, she says I over dress, meanwhile when she visited me in my home country that was how I dress and she was okay with it. She told me alot of lies before I came here,She took all the Money I came here with and dictates everything....I can not write more all I need is some advice please, as she always threaten to send me back home.

Thing is, what's more important, your self respect or living here? It's a great country, full of opportunities for hard working, honest individuals... but is it REALLY worth living in misery? You married this woman, marriage vows are not to be taken lightly, however, mental and emotional abuse are very real and can thwart any joy or sense of achievement you might aspire to as a resident in this country. Maybe you could appeal to her better nature ans suggest councelling, you've only been married a hot minute. It sometimes takes time and patience to settle into married life. However, if you feel it's unbearable. Going home might not be such a bad idea depending on how bad things were before this light on the horizon presented it'self.

I'd say work on your marriage some more. If after a period time you find it's a losing battle, consult an attorney to find out what your options are.

[Leatherneck 693]

So what "the chance IS there?" The chance was there from day one. So far it is an idle threat, the first time she uttered such a threat, one could reasonably believe it. Obviously the threat has been issued on many occasions merely to intimidate. The woman is a menacing ("my wife always threaten to send me back home on every little argument" and "She took all the Money I came here with.") master manipulator, ("She told me alot of lies before I came here,") enjoying the browbeating of the OP into submission to behave in a manner that suits her.

The contemptuous treatment of the OP is that of a classic control freak, like all control freaks, she is enjoying the mental mind-** games she's playing with the OP. Following through with the threat would mean giving up control - the twisted stimulation she gets from seeing the OP submit to her demands is a greater reward than ending the mind-** games by pulling the I-864.

I make no suggestion at all, it was a figurative statement - unfortunately, your comprehension was literal. However, the OP most likely will stay long enough to get his green card - considering he's doing biometrics soon. Provided he can continue to put up with the mind games.