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landa

Losing my mind, what to do?

By landa in Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits

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landa Explorer

landa   1

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Filed: Country: Canada
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Hi guys as some of you may know my situation with my spouse is not going well. I recently told her i want a divorce. She doen't want to do that as it will cost and we will end up losing the house. (to be honest currently i don't have money to get a lawyer). Then I told her okay if you do not want to divorce lets separate. She is opposing that idea as well. I told her once i am finished school soon, i am moving back to canada for work. If you do not want to divorce then we have no choice but to separate. She thinks i am bluffing and that I will change my mind. She keeps telling me "we will fidn you a job" refering to her family lol I am such a pathetic loser that I can't find a job myself lol. She just doesn't get it. I do not want to be with you lady. If we go separation route, do we still need to write about the assets/debts, child support and our house. I would want the house under my name and make payments. I think a separation for a while would be a good idea to reflect and decide if we want to divroce or get back together. Problem I have is, she tried to make me something I am not. She wants me to be her puppet. We do nothing together, except every weekend going to her parents house. (which was a mandatory chore lol) until i finally told them off.

She thinks the reason i want to divorce her or separate is because of money. She think i am getting money from somewhere. I didn't win the MEGA Million. I would like to know if i go separation route, do we need to get a lawyer to come up with an agreement on child custody, visitation, house and etc. I am happy with not divorcing if she thinks it is because of the money. I just want to leave, but how is that possible. if we are separate living in different countries and still be considered married. I am losing my mind. I have school to finish and thinking about this mess that i am in is driving me crazy.

I would appreciate your any advice.

Thanks

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Penguin_ie Grand Master

Penguin_ie   5,993

Posted
Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ireland
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Posted

You can just leave, and let a lawyer handle the separation agreement, child custody etc.

Bye: Penguin

Me: Irish/ Swiss citizen, and now naturalised US citizen. Husband: USC; twin babies born Feb 08 in Ireland and a daughter in Feb 2010 in Arkansas who are all joint Irish/ USC. Did DCF (IR1) in 6 weeks via the Dublin, Ireland embassy and now living in Arkansas.

mod penguin.jpg

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sheeshkabelle Proficient

sheeshkabelle   153

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

You have apparently given up on the marriage. She doesn't see that.

The semester is almost over.

Leave and call your local legal aid in your area. They can help you get a lawyer for cheap or pro bono.

USCIS- 260 Days

6/8/11~ Mailed I-130 Application, withdrew Canadian PR application
6/16/11~ NOA1 email and text message Case routed to CSC (Priority Date)
7/12/11~ The 'Money Order' Incident/Returned to Tennessee
8/03/11~ TOUCHED!
3/2/12~ APPROVED! NOA2!

NVC Electronic Processing- Montreal- 19 Days

3/21/12~ Received case number & IIN 20 Days after NOA2
3/21/12~ Sent in opt-in email
3/22/12~ Opt-in accepted
3/23/12~ DS-261 Submitted, never accepted
3/29/12~ AOS bill invoiced and paid
3/30/12~ AOS shows PAID- AOS Package emailed/received, DS-3032 emailed/accepted
4/2/12~ IV bill invoiced and paid
4/3/12~ AOS Checklist documents emailed(first time)
4/4/12~ IV shows PAID- DS-260 submitted/ IV Package emailed/received
4/4/12~ AOS Checklist documents sent again for CYA (second time)
4/5/12~ IV package accepted! No Checklists!
4/6/12~ AOS Checklist emailed(third time)
4/9/12~ AOS packet accepted (finally)
CASE COMPLETE!!

Interview 354 days from NOA1/ 362 days from initial filing date
5/29/12~ Medical@ Medisys, Montreal
6/4/12~ Interview APPROVED!!!
08/07/2012~ POE Emerson, MB/Pembina, ND by land
08/09/2012~ HOME!! 424 days from initial filing date!
08/14/2012~ SSN Received
09/10/2012~ Received Green Card

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NigeriaorBust Grand Master

NigeriaorBust   4,087

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Nigeria
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Many courts have a package of forms reffered to as a divorce package, they usually charge a small fee for. ( about $12 locally ) They are no harder to fill out than immigration forms.

This will not be over quickly. You will not enjoy this.

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sheeshkabelle Proficient

sheeshkabelle   153

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted

Many courts have a package of forms reffered to as a divorce package, they usually charge a small fee for. ( about $12 locally ) They are no harder to fill out than immigration forms.

or some states offer them online for free. I know West Virginia and Tennessee do. I filled mine out myself, twice, there were no issues either time :whistle:

USCIS- 260 Days

6/8/11~ Mailed I-130 Application, withdrew Canadian PR application
6/16/11~ NOA1 email and text message Case routed to CSC (Priority Date)
7/12/11~ The 'Money Order' Incident/Returned to Tennessee
8/03/11~ TOUCHED!
3/2/12~ APPROVED! NOA2!

NVC Electronic Processing- Montreal- 19 Days

3/21/12~ Received case number & IIN 20 Days after NOA2
3/21/12~ Sent in opt-in email
3/22/12~ Opt-in accepted
3/23/12~ DS-261 Submitted, never accepted
3/29/12~ AOS bill invoiced and paid
3/30/12~ AOS shows PAID- AOS Package emailed/received, DS-3032 emailed/accepted
4/2/12~ IV bill invoiced and paid
4/3/12~ AOS Checklist documents emailed(first time)
4/4/12~ IV shows PAID- DS-260 submitted/ IV Package emailed/received
4/4/12~ AOS Checklist documents sent again for CYA (second time)
4/5/12~ IV package accepted! No Checklists!
4/6/12~ AOS Checklist emailed(third time)
4/9/12~ AOS packet accepted (finally)
CASE COMPLETE!!

Interview 354 days from NOA1/ 362 days from initial filing date
5/29/12~ Medical@ Medisys, Montreal
6/4/12~ Interview APPROVED!!!
08/07/2012~ POE Emerson, MB/Pembina, ND by land
08/09/2012~ HOME!! 424 days from initial filing date!
08/14/2012~ SSN Received
09/10/2012~ Received Green Card

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sheeshkabelle Proficient

sheeshkabelle   153

Posted
Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
 Timeline
Posted
California Divorce- self help

USCIS- 260 Days

6/8/11~ Mailed I-130 Application, withdrew Canadian PR application
6/16/11~ NOA1 email and text message Case routed to CSC (Priority Date)
7/12/11~ The 'Money Order' Incident/Returned to Tennessee
8/03/11~ TOUCHED!
3/2/12~ APPROVED! NOA2!

NVC Electronic Processing- Montreal- 19 Days

3/21/12~ Received case number & IIN 20 Days after NOA2
3/21/12~ Sent in opt-in email
3/22/12~ Opt-in accepted
3/23/12~ DS-261 Submitted, never accepted
3/29/12~ AOS bill invoiced and paid
3/30/12~ AOS shows PAID- AOS Package emailed/received, DS-3032 emailed/accepted
4/2/12~ IV bill invoiced and paid
4/3/12~ AOS Checklist documents emailed(first time)
4/4/12~ IV shows PAID- DS-260 submitted/ IV Package emailed/received
4/4/12~ AOS Checklist documents sent again for CYA (second time)
4/5/12~ IV package accepted! No Checklists!
4/6/12~ AOS Checklist emailed(third time)
4/9/12~ AOS packet accepted (finally)
CASE COMPLETE!!

Interview 354 days from NOA1/ 362 days from initial filing date
5/29/12~ Medical@ Medisys, Montreal
6/4/12~ Interview APPROVED!!!
08/07/2012~ POE Emerson, MB/Pembina, ND by land
08/09/2012~ HOME!! 424 days from initial filing date!
08/14/2012~ SSN Received
09/10/2012~ Received Green Card

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landa Explorer

landa   1

Posted
Filed: Country: Canada
 Timeline
  • Author
Posted

Thanks for the link. Now that I have agreement with my wife about separation and child custody/visitation, another concern is immigration situation. I would like to know what is going to happen regarding my GC. I have a 10 year GC. Will I face any problems?

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Leatherneck Grand Master

Leatherneck   693

Posted
Filed: Country: Philippines
 Timeline
Posted

Thanks for the link. Now that I have agreement with my wife about separation and child custody/visitation, another concern is immigration situation. I would like to know what is going to happen regarding my GC. I have a 10 year GC. Will I face any problems?

That really depends on where you plan to live, if you're planning to return to Canada, you have to be concerned with maintaining your permanent residence status. You can maintain or abandon your status. If you plan to remain in the U.S. there is no issue with your GC, getting separated has no bearing on your 10 year GC. However, your marital status will make a difference if you're interested in naturalization - whereas, you have to have been married to and living with your U.S. citizen spouse at the time of filing for naturalization for the last three years, if those conditions don't apply, then you have to be a GC holder for 5 years.

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!" - Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945.

"Retreat hell! We just got here!"

CAPT. LLOYD WILLIAMS, USMC

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SOflaherty Explorer

SOflaherty   40

Posted
Filed: Other Country: Ireland
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Posted

Standard visitation is every other weekend, every other holiday, and a month in the summer. How do you plan to do that from Canada? I understand not wanting to be with your wife, but I'm a bit confused by your seeming willingness to up and leave your kids and move back to another country. Are they hers from a previous marriage?

Our Journey

6/6/2007 Met online

12/05/2007 Realized I was nuts about him!

01/19/2008 Confessed...and he felt the same <3

05/01/2008 Met in person in Chicago

5/2008-5/2010 Umpteen visits between Ireland and US

6/19/2010 Got married!

04/06/2012 Finally able to send paperwork for AOS!

(Day 1)04/11/2012 Papers arrived at Chicago lockbox and signed for.

(Day 3)04/13/2012 Email confirmations!

(Day 7)04/17/2012 NOA hard copies received.

(Day 10)04/20/2012 Biometrics appt received for 05/07/2012

(Day 27)05/07/2012 Biometrics

(Day 65)06/15/2012 EAD approval email

(Day 69)06/19/2012 Interview notice!!! 07/24/2012!!

(Day 75)06/25/2012 EAD arrives.

(Day 104)07/24/2012 Interview in Atlanta....Approved!!!

Expecting a baby boy 8/9/2013!

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landa Explorer

landa   1

Posted
Filed: Country: Canada
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  • Author
Posted

Standard visitation is every other weekend, every other holiday, and a month in the summer. How do you plan to do that from Canada? I understand not wanting to be with your wife, but I'm a bit confused by your seeming willingness to up and leave your kids and move back to another country. Are they hers from a previous marriage?

It is tough belive me. I think of that everyday. The problem is I will have a job in Canada. Here where am I going to live if i do not have work or be able to buy insurance. Another thing is, I do not want her to move from the house. I will give her the house so my kid can go to a good school. We live in a very good neighborhood with great school and is safer than most places in SO California. I know I can get half of the assets(house) but that will mean they moving out to a bad neighborhood. In turn she is going to allow me to come anytime to visit her and she will be coming every summer to visit me. The perfect scenario would be what you described but it is hard due to my unfortunate circumstances.

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Darnell Grand Master

Darnell   8,478

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: China
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Posted

wf? in the uni's I've taught at - that's a 'withdraw failing' . ouch.

--

Sometimes my language usage seems confusing - please feel free to 'read it twice', just in case !
Ya know, you can find the answer to your question with the advanced search tool, when using a PC? Ditch the handphone, come back later on a PC, and try again.

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Whoa Nelly ! Want NVC Info? see http://www.visajourney.com/wiki/index.php/NVC_Process

Congratulations on your approval ! We All Applaud your accomplishment with Most Wonderful Kissies !

 

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