Filipina

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Please provide examples of "right" stereotypes.

When do "cultural norms" become stereotypes? There are so many traits that are typically Pinay, as there are other traits that are typically Kano. However, for every generalization, there will be exceptions.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

perhaps that is a major problem in the thread that spawned this thread.

Dan, I'm pretty sure I know which thread you are referencing. That thread did not "spawn this thread". My wife and I began "lurking" this site in 2008. We became official members in 2009. I am not the first VJ member to challenge Filipina stereotypes (since becoming a member). I will not be the last. I'm just another contributor to the cause.

But in this thread we would be talking about the contempt you have for someone who is dependent on you. Power corrupts, yada yada If you have complete power over someone you might laugh if they threaten to leave they may even laugh with you when they realize how impossible that is. Generally the Filipinas are completely dependent when they arrive. the man has a good deal of control over how independent they can become. Judy (my Filipina) told me about an aquaintance of hers who lives out in the country miles from anywhere she can't drive and she's been here over two years and the husband has not filed for adjustment of status yet. says he can't afford it.

I'm unsure what point you are making here. Are you suggesting that power is contributing to the racist stereotypes, abusive sexism etc. etc. ?

Another problem is the language of course. The primary meaning of dumb was unable to speak . English is a second language for these girls. It's easy to feel superior to someone who wants to "off the lights" all time. even if you can't say "turn off the lights" in tagalog. You can get annoyed with someone who is having trouble speaking clearly How annoyed you get is inversely proportional to how hard you have ever tried to learn a foreign language yourself.

Are you suggesting lack of English language fluency makes your wife (overall) inferior to you? I have never thought myself superior to any person not fluent in English.

In many ways that superiority is measured we are superior to our Filipina wives

In general we like it that way

Dan...were you asked to be representative for others? I mean...who is ..."we"? Does your post speak for other VJ members?

A typical factory worker from the states (if we have any left) has the same status in PI that a doctor does here.

do I want to spend 8 or 9 years and hundreds of thousands of dollars going to college or just take a flight to manila?

So...in your opinion...women (American and Filipino) choose their husband ...on "status"?

If I wanted an equal I would have married a man (an american man) preferably just a little shorter than me

Because a woman...is not..equal..to you...? Because...if I am understanding ...(I'm not sure if I am and that's why I'm asking questions...to get clarification before I counterpoint, if needed, some of your comments)

But if I am understanding your post correctly ...You are "superior" and your wife is inferior(to you)....is that right?

I hope you will answer some or all of my questions. I am sorry if I'm not catching your meaning quickly but I just want to make sure I really understand.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

When do "cultural norms" become stereotypes? There are so many traits that are typically Pinay, as there are other traits that are typically Kano. However, for every generalization, there will be exceptions.

I'm not disputing the existence of acceptable steotypes. I'm asking for examples. Examples might demonstrate contrast and assist my point. Acceptable / unacceptable.

Let me try prime the pump...,

Visualize...Rice Farmer.

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Visualize...homeless drunk.

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Visualize...A Banker.

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Edited April 6, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

I'm not disputing the existence of acceptable steotypes. I'm asking for examples. Examples might demonstrate contrast and assist my point. Acceptable / unacceptable.

If I said all young women from a certain part of the world, as is suggested by members of another regional forum here on Visa Journey, are all extremely well educated, thrifty, beautiful, skinny, can field strip firearms, drop a buck at 2000 meters, and must be satisfied sexually three times a day, would you say that is a cultural norm, or an unwarranted stereotype?

Edited April 6, 2012 by ☼

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

If I said all young women from a certain part of the world, as is suggested by members of another regional forum here on Visa Journey, are all extremely well educated, thrifty, beautiful, skinny, can field strip firearms, drop a buck at 2000 meters, and must be satisfied sexually three times a day, would you say that is a cultural norm, or an unwarranted stereotype?

Is that hallucination available via prescription (or) is that why kids are drinking excessive amounts of Nyquil?

[Dan and Judy 614]

Dan,

.

My primary issue (regarding this 1 point) is the use of "my". Why describe an individual as "my" followed with...nationality?

Let's play this word combo out with a few more examples. My car...my house...my clothing...my dinner...my dog...my boat...my wife...my husband.

Having never heard...my American..I am confused why..when it comes to a Filipina...it suddenly becomes norm to use the combo..."my Filipina". Is it because the Pinay is so unique..that she deserves to be..objectified? (and) By objectifying...does that increase or decrease the value of the individual?

Im glad you gave examples that include" my wife" and "my husband" because I consider that very equivalent to "my Filipina."

You seem to be saying that all three of those expressions objectify the person referred to.

I disagree and since there are only two words in each expression, there is only so much you can say about them.

It seems self evident to you that these are bad expressions

and self evident to me that they are not.

I think on this one we just have to agree to disagree.

[Hank_ 9,174]

I find no issue with "my wife or my husband", when talking I've used the expression "my wife or more likely "my Bride" a million times at least.

I have never used the term my Filipina, in fact the word is never a thought in my mind, it would be like my wife thinking of me as "my kano" or "my American".... a totally stupid thought all the way around.

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

...it would be like my wife thinking of me as "my kano" or "my American"....

So, my wife is objectifying me? Thanks for the heads up!

[Darnell 8,478]

My question...what's the motivator? The root or roots of these offenses?

1. beat down by an American-born wife, now an ex.

2. sense of entitlement to finally get what he wants with a spouse, since his ex beat him down.

3. inability to cope with an American-born wife.

4. Yellow Fever

5. Aesthetically pleasing lass that said yes, in an attempt to get the #### out of the PI.

But hey - if you look at it item by item, you can relate..

Good Luck with this topic - I pray you get a myriad of different responses !

[Hank_ 9,174]

So, my wife is objectifying me? Thanks for the heads up!

Sort of like those HUGE diapers...... DEPENDS!!

Everything in reality is based on context and intent... my Bride has a few pet names for me that maybe others would take wrong....

[Dan and Judy 614]

Damn! I done been objectified!! I come home from working a 16 hour day and I find the proof laying right on my very own bed.

Judy has been keeping a journal and there it was in black and white. "My husband woke up early" My husband!!!! how could she do this

to me. The proof is in the pudding. Turn your back for one minute and right away they start objectifying you. Now I'm not saying

all Filipinas are like this but I'm begining to have my suspicions. After all I've done for her!!!! That's the thanks I get.

I feel so dirty

Edited April 7, 2012 by Dan and Judy

[A and T 82]

These types exist everywhere in the world , its up to the women to judge the guy she meets and determine if he is like this before she marries or gets involved.

In many reverse cases , its the man thats the "product" and used for money or as a cash cow only and not respected at all.

So it really comes down to the person over all

[Dan and Judy 614]

IMO, Stating Filipina women are praying harder than anywhere in the world is pure conjecture.

Is it your opinion cast onto all Filipinas?

well you tweaked my words a little, this is what I said

" I don't think you could find prey anywhere in the world praying harder to get caught"

As far as conjecture goes:

A conjecture is a proposition that is unproven but is thought to be true and has not been disproven.

I can live with that.

I just searched the "Filipina kisses" website where I met Judy and there are 40,146 women members vs

22,137 males, almost twice as many women as men. It is Primarily Filipinas and foreign men from more affluent countries.

I just read that match.com which I presume is American men and women is 59% male and 41% female

It said on match.com the pretty women get flooded with emails and the guys have to resort to mass mailings

and rarely get replys. I have absolutely no experience with that site.

On filipino kisses the girls will contact you first (kinda made me feel like the prey)

I chose to go with girls that I contacted first because I figured the scammers would be the most active at

contacting men first.

You've mentioned the desperation yourself so there is no need to prove that to you.

Judy told me frankly that she had been praying for a man.

By the way don't tell Judy I was back on that site. You know how Filipinas are

[Hank_ 9,174]

... someone was just on asking "has my husband been on here.... again?" I think you are busted.

[Hank_ 9,174]

I just searched the "Filipina kisses" website where I met Judy and there are 40,146 women members vs

22,137 males, almost twice as many women as men. It is Primarily Filipinas and foreign men from more affluent countries.

I just read that match.com which I presume is American men and women is 59% male and 41% female

It said on match.com the pretty women get flooded with emails and the guys have to resort to mass mailings

and rarely get replys. I have absolutely no experience with that site.

On filipino kisses the girls will contact you first (kinda made me feel like the prey)

I chose to go with girls that I contacted first because I figured the scammers would be the most active at

contacting men first.

You've mentioned the desperation yourself so there is no need to prove that to you.

Judy told me frankly that she had been praying for a man.

By the way don't tell Judy I was back on that site. You know how Filipinas are

I met my past wife on match.com but that was back in 1996 when the web was but an infant, when I ventured back out into the dating scene I went to match.com again... very dissatisfying experience in a vast variety of ways. I would not recommend match.com anymore. I was ready to toss in the towel and give up but for a friend of mine directing me to the Phils...

And with that I have to say I felt like the prey for a time.

Now I just sit back and smile.... I have been labeled and objectified as well.