If you could do it all again...

[pax 0]

I am only now learning of the headaches AOS gives people, and I think we'd be glad to skip over that particular process. However, CR-1 is not only a longer and more expensive visa, but what keeps me from saying, yes, we'd definitely have gone for that is the thought that we'd be married and living apart. I still think that would be very hard on me, at least, and possibly on Ewen, too.

As I said, though, so far I have no complaints. It's all been pretty reasonable until now, looking back on it.

[Mand 1]

but it's a longer wait time to get your honey here?

Maybe I meant DCF? I don't know much at all about these other routes, so sorry for any confusion caused. I thought you could do IR/CR thing if both resided in the foreign country? I'm prob talking rubbish, but anyways..we're here now and no worries

[SteveLaura 0]

I wouldn't have gone to Glastonbury last year. It rained virtually all weekend, it was overpriced and I could do with that money right now.

I would have arranged to sell more of my belongings rather than give them to the local charity shops, for the same reason. I would also have kept more of my CDs.

I wouldn't have flown here via Dublin.

That's it.

[Sister Fracas 5]

hmmm, let's see....The CR1 route was definitely the right way to go for us. We were separated for almost 18 months during processing, but the transition after hubster's move has been VERY easy. No, EAD, AP or AOS! We've found that was totally worth the time apart, plus the fact that he was able to work up until his departure. For us, that was very important. It's easy to say, you'll find a way to make things work "as long as you are together", but the stress of not having enough money, plus having to spend money on more immigration filings, is one we didn't want to add to an already stressful situation of moving and moving in together.

The ONLY thing I think about occasionally is, maybe we should have gotten married when he visited me 4 months earlier than when we actually DID get married in the UK. We would have been together maybe 4 or more months sooner. But at the time, it felt rushed. It didn't feel quite right, so chances are, it was the right decision.

What we definitely would NOT have done, had we known what was about to happen with K-3's....we would NOT have wasted our money on the filing just to have the I-129F approved only 2 weeks sooner than the I-130. TOTAL WASTE OF MONEY! grrrrrrrrrr

But we made the right decision to have him move here, as I would not have been in the right place emotionally to move over there, and he was very excited about moving to the U.S. And since his adjustment has been a piece of cake....well...maybe I shouldn't have worried so much about that.

I wouldn't have gone to Glastonbury last year. It rained virtually all weekend, it was overpriced and I could do with that money right now.

hehehe...hubster went to Glastonbury, and had the time of his life (he always does tho)...it was a good send off for him. He moved here just 2 days after Glasto!

Edited January 30, 2006 by Frances

[Girona40 0]

Hmmm...I'm with AgentSmith. No complaints.

Wish we'd had a nicer breakfast the morning after our wedding. We went to Golden Corral.....bleh!

Well, Rebecca, you certainly went "up-market" compared to us - we all went to Denny's......hahahaha!

[britbird 4]

Well I would, of course, have married George Clooney. KIDDING! Love you husband love you!

We went to Denny's aswell for breakfast before the big vows...we thought it was an awesomely trashy way to start the day!

[lisa71 0]

The whole process is a pain in the bum. That said, I wouldn't change a thing. I think our timing was right for us. We have been here for a little over 3 months and everything is going so well. The kids have settled in well, my husband and I are getting on great and, most importantly, the kids and my wonderful husband are really bonding.

It's a long, at times, painful process. But, in the end it's all been worth it.

[Ephesia 0]

Brandon and I took our time to file the K1 visa, and when I got it, I took my time to plan and pack for my move. We also spent a lot of time in between to do our research on migration and had lots of talks via e-mail with each other as well as with his family on possible adjustment issues. No regrets here.

One valuable lesson we both gained from our process: it is VERY important to communicate, communicate, communicate. We hammered out a lot of issues, even seemingly superficial ones (e.g. would I find 100% pure green tea in America?)

Even as I have been here for more than 6 months, we are still communicating on migration and adjustment issues. We've taken a lot of pains not to take things for granted, which is the original premise of our relationship anyway. It has helped us on many occasions.

[Jaylen Brit 0]

Keep em comin - this is all majorly helpful (yes even ones who say 'would do nothing different') - not just to me but to everyone about to follow in your footsteps on this VJ road If I can make the move a little easier, and less stressful with tips on what NOT to do, thats all good.

Thanks to all so far who've shared

[allynella 0]

This will put me in the minority on this thread, but I would have done nothing differently.

Me Too

[j&js 0]

I guess we needed the time to help us decide, but I wish we had decided to apply for the K-1 earlier. James spent the whole summer with me on the VWP and when he left we had decided he'd just apply for the Diversity Lottery Program thing and if it didn't work we would reevaluate what we wanted to do in a year. We had always talked about marriage but wanted to wait until we were a little older and more financially stable. But then being apart was killing us and we decided bumping up the marriage a few years was the way to go. I guess it was the time apart that made us realize this was the right path, but if we had decided that 3 months earlier he would already be living here! Oh well, soon!

[Jasman0717 9]

I would have liked to spend more time in her country and with her family, other than that I am good to go.

[Kajikit 65]

We had a very long timeline, and looking back I wish we'd done things differently, but realistically it wouldn't have worked out any better - we would have just had a longer wait to be together after our visit because I still would only have been able to afford to come once.

Realistically the only thing I wish I'd changed was that my AP was a total waste of money because they lost it in the mail, and I didn't miss it anyway - I could have saved that two hundred bucks and gone without! I only applied in case of emergency 'back home'...

[xtin 0]

I would probably wait a little bit longer to settle finances & my other stuff. like taking the NCLEX exam before moving up here. And also maybe not to ship all my crazy stuff. it was expensive. .

[aidan80 9]

If we knew then what we know now.. we obviously wouldn’t have ran over that stupid deer… god if I could go back, we’d stop short of running it over… I’d love to boot the stupid thing in the ####### for smashing our car.. causing us fork out for a rental truck and the inevitable problems we had with the garage & insurance company somehow coming to the conclusion that hitting the deer didn’t break the water pump .. it happened all by itself... well if I believe that, then I must be elvis The expense of it all has added a lot of unneeded stress and financial problems to us…

Other than the above, we'd do it all the same.. its been mad, it still is mad