April 2012 AOS Filers

[Hypnos 6,576]

I've had a couple of people asking me why I am filing I-360 (non-VAWA) instead of I-130 as most people do here, so figured I would do a brief overview of how things came to be.

While studying at university in the UK I started talking to a girl online. Things progressed, to the point where we wanted to meet, so during a break in my course I came to visit for a couple of weeks. It went well, and another visit soon followed. At this point we weren't sure if we had something or it would just fizzle into nothing, so I applied for a B-2 visa from the American Embassy in London and after graduation came here again for an extended visit.

We hit it off and so looked into options for the next step. We read about adjustment but she was making just under the required amount. Her father was going to be our co-sponsor but he lost his job shortly after I arrived, shutting the door on that possibility. Her family didn't really care for me (she had been with some bad people previously, which had resulted in her having an unplanned child, so perhaps this was understandable to a degree) and so I was not able to file for AoS.

As time went on and I went out of status, I fell into the role of house-husband (since I could not legally work); cooking cleaning and raising my step-son (whom I considered my own). Our own daughter was born a couple of years after that.

I was out of status but hopeful that things could move along once either another sponsor came along or a better opportunity for her. And then it happened, she was head-hunted for a well-paying job that would be enough to sponsor me and then some. We were excited and eagerly awaiting the end of the year so she could file her taxes and we could then file my AoS.

At this point she started having some discomfort in her abdomen, and went to the doctor to have it checked out. It was cancer. To be specific it was a very rare and very aggressive form of ovarian cancer. We started chemo right away and hoped that we had gotten it in time, but these hopes turned out to be unfounded. After a few months it became clear that this was not a battle we could win, and she went on hospice care at our home where I was essentially caring for her full-time.

Since we had never gotten around to doing it legally (although Texas recognises common-law marriage, which is how we held ourselves out to others) I asked her to marry me, and she accepted. We were married in our bedroom by the hospice chaplain, since at this point she was not physically able to leave the house.

Not even three weeks later, she passed away in my arms at our home.

Some time later, I consulted an immigration attorney to see the lay of the land. I fully expected to be told that I was out of luck, that her death had removed any avenue I had to obtain permanent residency and a green card. Instead, the attorney told me that due to a recent change in the law I was actually able to file as her widower. Previously, marriages that lasted less than two years (even if only by a single day) could not be the basis of a family-based AoS and all such applications were denied. This was known informally as the "widow penalty". However, in late 2009 President Obama signed into law a change that said marriages lasting under two years could be adjusted, if they were valid marriages in the normal sense and not done solely for immigration benefits, etc. This one stroke of a pen had given me an opportunity I would not otherwise have.

With the help of the attorney I filed for my AoS and that is where I am now, raising our two children and hoping that my application will be approved.

[chimcham 18]

Wow. That is quite the story and I am sorry to hear about your wife. You are very strong and its clear you are willing to do whatever it takes for your kids! Thanks for teaching us something new about your journey and the process involved!

[Minu Luvs Pinu 2]

Damn. I'm so sorry about your wife. I couldn't imagine what you're going through. Your strength is admirable, I hope that everything works out for the best. The very best of luck.

[Camo 5]

I've had a couple of people asking me why I am filing I-360 (non-VAWA) instead of I-130 as most people do here, so figured I would do a brief overview of how things came to be.

While studying at university in the UK I started talking to a girl online. Things progressed, to the point where we wanted to meet, so during a break in my course I came to visit for a couple of weeks. It went well, and another visit soon followed. At this point we weren't sure if we had something or it would just fizzle into nothing, so I applied for a B-2 visa from the American Embassy in London and after graduation came here again for an extended visit.

We hit it off and so looked into options for the next step. We read about adjustment but she was making just under the required amount. Her father was going to be our co-sponsor but he lost his job shortly after I arrived, shutting the door on that possibility. Her family didn't really care for me (she had been with some bad people previously, which had resulted in her having an unplanned child, so perhaps this was understandable to a degree) and so I was not able to file for AoS.

As time went on and I went out of status, I fell into the role of house-husband (since I could not legally work); cooking cleaning and raising my step-son (whom I considered my own). Our own daughter was born a couple of years after that.

I was out of status but hopeful that things could move along once either another sponsor came along or a better opportunity for her. And then it happened, she was head-hunted for a well-paying job that would be enough to sponsor me and then some. We were excited and eagerly awaiting the end of the year so she could file her taxes and we could then file my AoS.

At this point she started having some discomfort in her abdomen, and went to the doctor to have it checked out. It was cancer. To be specific it was a very rare and very aggressive form of ovarian cancer. We started chemo right away and hoped that we had gotten it in time, but these hopes turned out to be unfounded. After a few months it became clear that this was not a battle we could win, and she went on hospice care at our home where I was essentially caring for her full-time.

Since we had never gotten around to doing it legally (although Texas recognises common-law marriage, which is how we held ourselves out to others) I asked her to marry me, and she accepted. We were married in our bedroom by the hospice chaplain, since at this point she was not physically able to leave the house.

Not even three weeks later, she passed away in my arms at our home.

Some time later, I consulted an immigration attorney to see the lay of the land. I fully expected to be told that I was out of luck, that her death had removed any avenue I had to obtain permanent residency and a green card. Instead, the attorney told me that due to a recent change in the law I was actually able to file as her widower. Previously, marriages that lasted less than two years (even if only by a single day) could not be the basis of a family-based AoS and all such applications were denied. This was known informally as the "widow penalty". However, in late 2009 President Obama signed into law a change that said marriages lasting under two years could be adjusted, if they were valid marriages in the normal sense and not done solely for immigration benefits, etc. This one stroke of a pen had given me an opportunity I would not otherwise have.

With the help of the attorney I filed for my AoS and that is where I am now, raising our two children and hoping that my application will be approved.

We are short of words regarding your experience. We will keep you in our prayers & thoughts. Thank you for sharing your story. please, do not be weary in all you do.

[LindaC1990 23]

I've had a couple of people asking me why I am filing I-360 (non-VAWA) instead of I-130 as most people do here, so figured I would do a brief overview of how things came to be.

While studying at university in the UK I started talking to a girl online. Things progressed, to the point where we wanted to meet, so during a break in my course I came to visit for a couple of weeks. It went well, and another visit soon followed. At this point we weren't sure if we had something or it would just fizzle into nothing, so I applied for a B-2 visa from the American Embassy in London and after graduation came here again for an extended visit.

We hit it off and so looked into options for the next step. We read about adjustment but she was making just under the required amount. Her father was going to be our co-sponsor but he lost his job shortly after I arrived, shutting the door on that possibility. Her family didn't really care for me (she had been with some bad people previously, which had resulted in her having an unplanned child, so perhaps this was understandable to a degree) and so I was not able to file for AoS.

As time went on and I went out of status, I fell into the role of house-husband (since I could not legally work); cooking cleaning and raising my step-son (whom I considered my own). Our own daughter was born a couple of years after that.

I was out of status but hopeful that things could move along once either another sponsor came along or a better opportunity for her. And then it happened, she was head-hunted for a well-paying job that would be enough to sponsor me and then some. We were excited and eagerly awaiting the end of the year so she could file her taxes and we could then file my AoS.

At this point she started having some discomfort in her abdomen, and went to the doctor to have it checked out. It was cancer. To be specific it was a very rare and very aggressive form of ovarian cancer. We started chemo right away and hoped that we had gotten it in time, but these hopes turned out to be unfounded. After a few months it became clear that this was not a battle we could win, and she went on hospice care at our home where I was essentially caring for her full-time.

Since we had never gotten around to doing it legally (although Texas recognises common-law marriage, which is how we held ourselves out to others) I asked her to marry me, and she accepted. We were married in our bedroom by the hospice chaplain, since at this point she was not physically able to leave the house.

Not even three weeks later, she passed away in my arms at our home.

Some time later, I consulted an immigration attorney to see the lay of the land. I fully expected to be told that I was out of luck, that her death had removed any avenue I had to obtain permanent residency and a green card. Instead, the attorney told me that due to a recent change in the law I was actually able to file as her widower. Previously, marriages that lasted less than two years (even if only by a single day) could not be the basis of a family-based AoS and all such applications were denied. This was known informally as the "widow penalty". However, in late 2009 President Obama signed into law a change that said marriages lasting under two years could be adjusted, if they were valid marriages in the normal sense and not done solely for immigration benefits, etc. This one stroke of a pen had given me an opportunity I would not otherwise have.

With the help of the attorney I filed for my AoS and that is where I am now, raising our two children and hoping that my application will be approved.

Can't stop crying after I read this. You are a wonderful husband and father.

Wish you the best of luck :thumbs:

[Hypnos 6,576]

Thank you for all of your kind words.

It has not been an easy road, but you have to play the hand you are dealt. I miss her more than I ever thought possible. It's been 18 months, and while the pain is still there, it doesn't burn as hard as it did. I don't think I'll ever be over it, but I hope I can get through it.

Time will tell.

[Mrsaveemac 0]

Hypnos, be continually encouraged. you are an inspiration to us all. blessings on your journey.

[SOflaherty 40]

For those who have been mailed RFE's, did your online status (where you go and type in the MSCXXXXXXXX number) reflect this, or did you just get an email before it came? Really expecting one and no changes/notifications yet.

[Mrsaveemac 0]

got an email that it's on the way. don't recall what the online status said. still waiting for rfe in the mail.

[ibee 7]

Hello all and congratulations!

What is this I read about being able to use the mailed NOAs to obtain a DL/State ID? I thought I had to wait for the SSN ???

Hypnos, your story brings tears to the eyes. So sorry for all that has happened to you, your children are lucky to have you.

[Hypnos 6,576]

I'm also half-expecting an RFE.

There was a question on the I-360 that my lawyer left blank, and when I read over the forms I could see how perhaps this question would need an answer if interpreted in a different way to how we had. Other than that I can't think of anything else I would be RFE'd for; we included more documentation than you could shake a stick at and since I am exempt from filing an I-864 affidavit of support (I just had to file an I-864W ("waiver") requesting classification as a widower to demonstrate I am not subject to it) I can't be RFE'd for tax returns or anything like that.

I am thinking that if I don't receive an RFE within the next week then I am probably safe, based on other people's timelines.

Edited May 10, 2012 by Hypnos

[Shooli 2]

Hello all and congratulations!

What is this I read about being able to use the mailed NOAs to obtain a DL/State ID? I thought I had to wait for the SSN ???

Hypnos, your story brings tears to the eyes. So sorry for all that has happened to you, your children are lucky to have you.

Wondering the same here.

[ALuciansWifey 0]

For those who have been mailed RFE's, did your online status (where you go and type in the MSCXXXXXXXX number) reflect this, or did you just get an email before it came? Really expecting one and no changes/notifications yet.

I received a text a few hours after we completed his Biometrics, and an email as well.

[aimeelouise 0]

I never got an email it just said on my case status o was mailed RFE

[Mrsaveemac 0]

(singing) mr. po ostman... where's my rfe ?