Hello Poland!

[pilot's girl 0]

I thought once that I'd have a small wedding in Poland for my family and friends over there, but years are passing and I'm less and less inclined to do this.. In fact I don't want to do it at all anymore. Too much of a hassle, and since neither me nor Ryan care for that kind of thing, I almost think it'd be a waste of money. Of course, I'm not saying wedding is a waste of money, I'm just saying it is for *us* since we don't really want it anyways.

As for moving to Poland, it's not in our plans either. For many reasons, from the mundane like weather, to more serious like living expenses and social status. My husband is an airline pilot and the job market for that in Poland is very slim... There's LOT, which I consider the worst airline on the planet, and some low-cost carriers and that's basically it. We're not sure if we're gonna stay in the US though either, since as I mentioned before briefly, we might end up moving to the Emirates. We thought that we'd give it a try if he gets the job, and if after a year or so we don't like it, we'd come back to the US. However, I'm pretty much open to living almost anywhere in the world. I moved across the globe once, I might as well do it again, right?

I really want my children to be bilingual from the beginning and have the same fluency in Polish as in English. In college I minored in linguistics, and what I learn was that in order to achieve it with best results, I should speak only Polish to the child, while my husband would speak only English. That should go on until a child has a clear distinction of the two languages, so probably until the age of 3 or 4. Thought it depends on a child. And if brought up in America, English obviously would be dominant so you should support the acquisition of Polish through books, songs, children's tv shows and movies in Polish. I was thinking about that and it seems so hard! Especially since I obviously have to speak English to my hubby and then I'd have to switch to Polish with my kid! Argg! LOL... But we'll see how it goes! Does anyone have any experience or witnessed raising a bilingual child? We have friends that have a two-year old and they speak both languages to her. Mom is Polish so she speaks a lot more, Dad knows only a little bit. The little girl speaks a mix of both languages right now.. like: "Mom, look at my reka!"

Edited February 15, 2008 by pilot's girl

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

As for prices - let's say for 14 k' in USA you will have very elegant tea party for 100 people, in Poland fairly-tale kind of wedding. If you wish one of course. In our case it was my husband actually who always wanted a big wedding so I rent a castle just for him LOL.

Calamitka, where can you get a fairy tale wedding in PL for around 32-35,000zl? I was looking at renting castles and it was around 250zl per person for just the dinner, let alone liquor and all the other stuff. You planned everything in 5 days? Wow, certainly you have some professional experience, I wouldnt be able to get that done at home, let alone in PL. And if I do remember correctly, you have a nice dress & very unique pics

Niki - don't laugh at little girls speaking like "mom, look at my reka" cause that's how most of kids that have Polish parents but grew up in the US speak, me included My huband laughs when I talk to my friends on the phone. He says the whole conversation is in english, and then all of the sudden I throw in 2 polish words. Hey, its what comes to mind quicker

[Mooonika 0]

Congratulations on getting your NOA2, that's a really big deal!

I also started watching Lost from the second season and last summer I rented the first season and it is really, really, really good. You can't imagine how mad I'm about those breaks between episodes... that's so annoying... and now the writers' strike... Oh well, but what can I do...

I just talked with my friend about bringing up kids in the States I don't know many kids in the States, but those who I know, they are actually OK... One thing I don't like is that those kids are getting "EVERYTHING" You know, like during Christmas, they get so much stuff that they are not able to open all their gifts... They even don't know what they get. Generally, I hope I can tell my kids no, but on the other hand if all their friends are treated in some way, they might think, they are not loved. I talked to a psychologist, who deals with students at Michigan State University. She said that she has noticed that sometimes kids of immigrants have problems, because they feel that their parents treat them differently than parents of their american friends. She said that Polish parents are much more strict than American ones... That's really tough.

I have no idea how to make kids bilingual... it really scares me that my kids might not "catch" Polish, because my parents would never forgive me. There is no way they will ever learn English, so they wouldn't be able to talk to their grandkids... that's horrible. I heard exactly the same thing that Niki said, that we should speak to kids in Polish all the time. It seems to be more difficult to do than one would think...

We think about living somewhere else... The longer I am here, the less possible it seems. Right now I want some more stability in life. I can't imagine living in a non English/Polish (meaning Poland) speaking country. Jeff could get jobs in other countries, but there is no life for me. Well, at least that's what I think now

We had our wedding in the States and we planned to make a second one in Poland a year later. It never happened Generally, I am done with weddings, so much hassle, money, time... It really, really tired me out.

[pilot's girl 0]

I just talked with my friend about bringing up kids in the States I don't know many kids in the States, but those who I know, they are actually OK... One thing I don't like is that those kids are getting "EVERYTHING" You know, like during Christmas, they get so much stuff that they are not able to open all their gifts... They even don't know what they get. Generally, I hope I can tell my kids no, but on the other hand if all their friends are treated in some way, they might think, they are not loved. I talked to a psychologist, who deals with students at Michigan State University. She said that she has noticed that sometimes kids of immigrants have problems, because they feel that their parents treat them differently than parents of their american friends. She said that Polish parents are much more strict than American ones... That's really tough.

That's quite interesting what the psychologist said... But I totally agree that kids in America get everything. This passed Christmas, my best friend's kids (2 & 4 years old) got so many presents that they got tired of opening them! And each had to get exact same thing as the other or they'd fight over toys. So basically she has two identical sets of toys. I went over there for Christmas breakfast and it was sick how much stuff they got. They got more that I ever got in all my life all together. And I actually told her that. I think it's the consumerism in America that causes this. Kids watch gazzillion commercials a day, then they go to Target and see shelves full of toys, they want stuff, their friends have all that so they want it too. Now if you don't get it, you're a "bad parent." Maybe it's us, who grew up during communism and basically had jack squat and to have a Barbie was the biggest thing in the world, but then again, I really don't think the way kids are raised here is right. I also think kids are worse behaved here.. I dunno, maybe it's me, or maybe I notice these things more now than when I was in Poland.. But don't you think it's a lot more common to see a kid throw a fit in a store in America than in Poland? I kind of think that I'll be a strict parent... I know I was pretty strict with my friend's kids when I used to baby-sit them. They still loved me so I think with the right amount of discipline and a lot of love, you can avoid having little brats. Traveling is my huge passion, and I'd like to pass it to my future kids. I think it teaches you a lot. I hope that through traveling and seeing different places/countries, my kids will understand that possessions are not what the world's about... Maybe I'm idealistic, but frankly, that's the only thing that helped me decide whether to have kids. Because seeing the kids around me only discourages me.

[Anastassia 0]

There are a lot well behaved kids where I live (Virginia). Actually all the kids of my co-workers are amazing in how well they behave and trust me - they don't get anything they want. It all depends on the parents. And giving your child anything he/she wants is soooo wrong. I also think that doing this because everybody else does is a pretty lame excuce. You have to be able to get your child interested in more than material things and it's much more difficult than buying them a bunch of toys. If they have other things and interests in life they won't be jealous or feel worse than kids who get new toys every day. I used to buy toys by trunk loads when my son was little and he didn't appreciate anything and he never had a chance to dream about anything because he had a toy the next day after it was launched. At some point I stopped doing it because I understood it's not as great as I had earlier thought it would be. And I think that he appreciates things more now.

I am 39 years old and I often tell Americans about my childhood in communist times and when I get to the point that we could not eat ham on daily basis I always realize how good it was to have it several times a year. It never tasted as good after it became available any time I wanted it. And I also remember every detail of my Wrangler jacket from Pewex probably only because I dreamt of it for years, now I buy clothes by bags and I hardly ever really enjoy them.

As to bilingual children - it is extremely hard work - you need to be very, very persistent and patient. I live in area where there aren't many Polish people, matter of fact I met a few just recently and two families had little kids. One famiily (both parents Polish) had a five year old who didn't speak a word of Polish, supposedly he understands but he doesn't want to talk. The other family was just like all yours: mom was Polish and dad was American and their six year old spoke Polish quite well. But her mom made it very clear that she talks Polish to her all the time. I don't have this problem because my son is going to be 16 next month and he is now fluent in both languages. I think if I had a child now on one hand I would really like to teach that child Polish on the other I know how difficult it would be.

I think that for a child it would be extremely beneficial to be around other kids that speak Polish. My co-worker has both parents from Poland but she was born and raised here. Out of the three siblings, her sister speaks the best Polish because she had a lot of friends from Poland when she was growing up - they lived in heavily Polish-populated area too.

[calamitka 0]

As for prices - let's say for 14 k' in USA you will have very elegant tea party for 100 people, in Poland fairly-tale kind of wedding. If you wish one of course. In our case it was my husband actually who always wanted a big wedding so I rent a castle just for him LOL.

Calamitka, where can you get a fairy tale wedding in PL for around 32-35,000zl? I was looking at renting castles and it was around 250zl per person for just the dinner, let alone liquor and all the other stuff. You planned everything in 5 days? Wow, certainly you have some professional experience, I wouldnt be able to get that done at home, let alone in PL. And if I do remember correctly, you have a nice dress & very unique pics

Thanks for uznanie:) Well actually this price included also 2 flight tickets and half hour of fireworks on midnight. I guess this is the advantage of the rural area in Poland. Here is the link for Zamek Uniejow (130zl - 150 per person for ALL NIGHT food and service, liquor separatly): www.zamekuniejow.pl

and Michal the photographer www.pieknydzien.pl

Honestly I think my husband helped me a lot stating that he always want a big, traditional Polish wedding in summer(my hubby being romantic ) but the rest is up to me, whatever I decide. This is the key of speed

OK enough about weddings the rest will be disgusted.

Nanusia pm me I will be happy to answer your questions if you have any.

My brother who lives in Canada married a Portugese girl.Their daughters when little mixed up 3 languages, later on my bro and sil gave up and English was only spoken language at their home. Now girls are teenagers and speek neither Polish nor Portugese. You can imagine how my mom and dad are hartbroken.

As for raising children in USA it is still very distant perspective for me . We willing to give all effort but the practice show effects. Just like Anasstasia said. If you persistent it will bring results. Although I understand If you are immigrant you will always have kind of stigma doesn't matter how well you assimilate with society, kids will catch this immediately. The point is make them proud of all differences.Not an easy thing. Maybe my bro and sil didn't teach language but their girls are mutual proud of being Polish-Portugese-Canadian and they hoping for not have to chose one when Poland/Portugal are rivals in a soccer match .

[vdal 0]

Czesc Wszystkim!

Widze,ze wiekszosc sobie odpuscila slub w Polsce.Ja mialam tez zrobic slub koscielny w Polsce,ale z czasem widac,ze ten pomysl nei wypali.Moze to nie kwestia pieniedzy, bo zawsze sie znajda,ale kwestia braku czasu Nie mam czasu na rozne rzecyz tutaj,a co dopiero na organizowanie imprezy w Polsce.Od czasu do czasu tylko pytam pro forma meza: "To kiedy slub koscielny?" W sumie fajnie by bylo to zrobic,zwlaszcza,ze co jakis czas zdarza sie,ze potrzebny jest ten papierek z kosciola(zwlaszcza, jak masz byc swiadkiem na slubie,albo ojcem chrzestnym),bo niestety nie traktuje sie nas jak "calkowitych" katolikow.

A co do dzieci mowiacych po polsku.Ja mam samych znajomych , ktorzy sa z pochodzenia Polakami i mowia tylko po polsku lub w obu jezykach.Dzieci mowia wiec po polsku i po angielsku.wydaje mi sie,ze to kwestia konsekwencji w dzialaniu.Trudno sie przestawic i np rozmawiac z mezem po angielsku,a za chwilke do dziecka po polsku,ale lepiej poswiecic troszke na to czasu, uprzec sie i pozniej patrzec jak nasz maluch smiga w obu jezykach

Mam nadzieje,ze nasze malenstwo(jak sie wkoncu zdecyduje pojawic) bedzie smigac w obu jezykach.

Niektore z nas zaczely proces o zielona karte 10 letnia.Ja mam zamiar wyslac papiery w nastepnym tygodniu,bo wczoraj dopiero zaczelo sie 90 dni do uplywu waznosci 2-letniej.Mialam troszke stresa, bo 4 kwietnia leciemy do Polski na 2 tyg i balam sie,ze moze qrka przyjda jakies papiery i nie bedziemy komu ich odebrac(zaproszenie na interview),ale jak zobaczylam dzisiaj Processing time dla Nebraski to jestem spokojna -lipiec 06

A wogole chce sie pochwalic czyms.Zrealizowalam jedno ze swoich marzen,a wlasciwie maz je zrealizowal Kupil mi maszyne do szycia z wyszywarka Zawsze wszystko wyszywalam recznie,a maszyna taka w polsce kosztowala majatek,a dwa dostanie jakiegos fajnego materialu i roznych akcesoriow graniczylo z cudem, bo niestety w Polsce nie ma takich sklepow jak Jo-ann.Teraz kupuje sobie material jaki chce i wyszywam , co chce.Ja np mam "niewymiarowe" okna w jadalni 118"(3 okna)wszystkie panele(zaslony) jakie robia sa dlugosci najwyzej 52" i tylko mnie ratuje szycie samemu.Teraz mam okazje

Pozdrawiam was goraco z dalej zarypiscie zimnego Chicago

[pilot's girl 0]

Niektore z nas zaczely proces o zielona karte 10 letnia.Ja mam zamiar wyslac papiery w nastepnym tygodniu,bo wczoraj dopiero zaczelo sie 90 dni do uplywu waznosci 2-letniej.Mialam troszke stresa, bo 4 kwietnia leciemy do Polski na 2 tyg i balam sie,ze moze qrka przyjda jakies papiery i nie bedziemy komu ich odebrac(zaproszenie na interview),ale jak zobaczylam dzisiaj Processing time dla Nebraski to jestem spokojna -lipiec 06

Ja moja sprawe skladalam tez w Nebrasce, ale zostala przeniesiona do Kalifornii. I z tego co widze Moniki tez. Timeline dla CSC to 19 sierpnia 2007, czyli ok 6 miesiecy. Nie sugerowalabym sie tym za bardzo, poniewaz ani moje I-129F ani AOS nie pokrylo sie z terminami na stronie USCIS, tylko bylo duzo szybciej. Jak na razie (i nie chce zapeszac) moja petycja ma tempo zawrotne (see signature), no ale zobaczymy. Mysle ze spokojnie mozesz leciec do Polski bez stresu. Bo w miesiac ci petycji nie zatwierdza, co najwyzej biometrics moze ustala date... Najlepiej bedzie chyba jesli wyslesz zaraz przed wylotem, wtedy nic nie ryzykujesz! Pozdrawiam!

[Mooonika 0]

Wydaje mi sie, ze zwykle dostaje sie 10-letnia karte bez rozmowy. Tak mi sie cos obilo o uszy... Mnie tez szybko poprzysylali papierki. Najbardziej mi zalezalo na NOA, bo tam jest napisane, ze przez kolejny rok moge podrozowac i pracowac bez problemow... Mam nadzieje, ze moja sprawa zostanie zalatwiona do tego czasu

No ja tez pozdrawiam z niesamowicie zasypanego Michigan. Kiedy ta zima sie skonczy?

[pilot's girl 0]

No ja tez slyszalam ze bez interview, chyba ze rzeczywiscie cos im nie gra... no ale zobaczymy. Mi tam w sumie wisi czy bedzie czy nie.. choc lepiej zeby nie, nie trzeba sobie dupy zawracac.

U nas pogoda sie troche poprawila, jest w miare cieplo, jutro ma byc nawet F 50. Mam nadzieje ze to oznaka konca zimy, bo u nas ta zima byla koszmarna. I z tego co mowicie to u was tez! Tak nam dala w kosc, ze zdecydowalismy z Ryanem ze nastepna przeprowadzka bedzie spowrotem w cieple klimaty!

[Mooonika 0]

Zdecydowalismy z Ryanem ze nastepna przeprowadzka bedzie spowrotem w cieple klimaty!

Faktycznie macie w planach przeprowadzke? Nigdy nie bylam w Utah, ale z tego co slysze to wlasnie mnie by sie tam bardzo podobalo Sprzynajmniej tak biorac pod uwage to co pokazuja w TV

No zima jest sniezna i dluuugasna w tym roku. Ludzie z Michigan mowia, ze dawno nie bylo takiej zimy. Tak ogolnie to mnie sie podobaja takie sniegowe widoki, tylko ze ja bardzo chce miec troche wiecej ruch... Niestety, nie uprawiam zadnych zimowych sportow, wiec tak troche mi ciezko zime przetrwac. Poza tym, niestety tyje mi sie bardzo i juz chce lata, zeby cos sie wiecej ruszac.

[pilot's girl 0]

Faktycznie macie w planach przeprowadzke? Nigdy nie bylam w Utah, ale z tego co slysze to wlasnie mnie by sie tam bardzo podobalo Sprzynajmniej tak biorac pod uwage to co pokazuja w TV

No zima jest sniezna i dluuugasna w tym roku. Ludzie z Michigan mowia, ze dawno nie bylo takiej zimy. Tak ogolnie to mnie sie podobaja takie sniegowe widoki, tylko ze ja bardzo chce miec troche wiecej ruch... Niestety, nie uprawiam zadnych zimowych sportow, wiec tak troche mi ciezko zime przetrwac. Poza tym, niestety tyje mi sie bardzo i juz chce lata, zeby cos sie wiecej ruszac.

No prawie na pewno sie bedziemy przeprowadzac.... Bardzo mozliwe ze albo Europa (myslimy o Hiszpanii) albo Bliski Wschod (Emiraty)... A jesli w Stanach to powrot do Arizony, ewentualnie Floryda... Kalifornia by byla fajna, ale nie wiem czy warto, bo tam tak strasznie drogo... Utah nie jest zle. Szczerze mowiac to jedno z fajniejszych miejsc w ktorych mieszkalam. Tak wiec zapraszamy! Tutaj tez mowia, ze zima byla wyjatkowo sniezna i dluga. Bo ja pamietam, ze zeszla, byla w miare znosna.

[Nanusia & Lukaszek 0]

Niki,

Czy w Utah jest naprawde problem kupic alkohol? Pare lat temu poznalam faceta na firmowym treningu ktory byl z Utah. Mowil ze skoro ten stan jest w wiekszosci Mormon, to nie ma gdzie/czy nie mozna kupic alkoholu, specialnie w restauracjach. Wiec zaraz po training lecial na piwko bo mowil ze nie mial piwa 3 lata Zawsze mnie to ciekawilo czy to prawda byla z Utah i mormonami, czy facet przesadzal?

Moj maz pojechal do PL na 2 tyg, i mowi ze jest ceplo 45-50. A ja tu siedze w pochmurnym i zimnym Chicago

Kiedy bedzie wkoncu ta wiosna?!

[pilot's girl 0]

Niki,

Czy w Utah jest naprawde problem kupic alkohol? Pare lat temu poznalam faceta na firmowym treningu ktory byl z Utah. Mowil ze skoro ten stan jest w wiekszosci Mormon, to nie ma gdzie/czy nie mozna kupic alkoholu, specialnie w restauracjach. Wiec zaraz po training lecial na piwko bo mowil ze nie mial piwa 3 lata Zawsze mnie to ciekawilo czy to prawda byla z Utah i mormonami, czy facet przesadzal?

Nie no, az tak zle nie ma... Rzeczywiscie jednak, przez to ze stan jest rzadzony przez mormonstwo to mamy prawa alkoholowe. Tzn:

1. Alkohol mozna kupic tylko w stanowych sklepach alkoholowych. Wina ani mocniejszego alkoholu nie mozna kupic np. w targecie albo w innym supermarkecie. Jedyny alkohol sprzedawany w supermarkecie to piwo, ktore ma mniejsza niz normalna zawartosc alkoholu. Np. Bud Light kupione w Utah bedzie slabsze niz to kupione w Chicago

2. Wszystkie restauracje sa podzielone na 2 kategorie: restaurant i private club. Czasem nawet jedna restauracja ma 2 strony Roznica pomiedzy tymi dwoma jest taka, ze do private club trzeba miec czlonkostwo (np. na rok, albo jednorazowe /zwykle na 3 tyg za 2-4 dolary/) a do restauracji nie. Dalej, w private club mozna pic alkohol bez zamawiania jedzenia. A takze mozna miec przed soba dwa drinki. W restauracji musza zabrac jedna szklanke zeby ci dac druga.

3. drink moze miec zawartosc 3.2 oz alkoholu max. Dlatego nie mozna dostac drinkow typu Long Island Ice Tea. Za duza zawartosc alkoholu. Nie mozna tez dostac tzw "double"... jedyne co mozna (i to tylko w private club) to dostac tzw. "sidecar" czyli shot alkoholu znajdujacego sie w drinku. Np. martini z sidecar wodki.. i potem samemu mozesz sobie wlac do kieliszka... no bezsens totalny.

4. Nie mozna tez przywozic alkoholu do Utah!!!! Oficjalnie, oczywiscie.... Byla kiedys taka para jak pracowalam w restauracji co przywiozla sobie wino z winnicy w Oregonie... I niestety nie moglam im tego wina otworzyc bo nie mialo specjalnej naklejki z DMBC (kontroluja oni alkohol w Utah)

Tak wiec dzieki mormonstwu ktore nie pije, wszyscy inni maja utrudnienia..... Podobno cos tam zmienili w ostatnim tygodniu (chyba zawartosc alkoholu, ale nie jestem pewna) ale pewnie lata uplyna zanim te cale prawa zostana zniesione....

[Mooonika 0]

Niezle... nie zdawalam sobie sprawy, ze macie az tyle nakazow w Utah... Wydaje mi sie w Georgia nie mozna kupic alkoholu w niedziele... i to juz wydawalo mi sie zabawne Tak w ogole zauwazylam, ze ludzie bardzo lubia mowic jaka to wolnosc jest w Stanach, jak to w innych krajach ludzie maja zle, bo nie maja tej wolnosci co tutaj...

A tak w ogole to chcialam zyczyc wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji Dnia Kobiet! No i oczywiscie przesylam wraz z zyczeniami tradycyjnego gozdzika (najlepiej jakby byl jeszcze lodyga do gory takie sa moje wspomnienia z Dnia Kobiet