K-1 Visa and no marriage

[S_R 148]

At least let the guy show some compassion and give her a return ticket back home. You once claimed to love this lady...

[forever waiting 11]

I would think if she wanted to return to the US in the future the best thing for her would be not to violate her I 94.

I will not comment about her working illegally. If I were her I wouldnt do anything to jeopardize my situation.

If she thinks she was victimized by her so called fiance maybe she can file a complaint with the USCIS. They can't give her a visa as far as I know but they can keep an eye on the loser fiance.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

I am currently looking into the VAWA option that was mentioned as she did call the police that night as she felt threatened by him and they came and got her out of there. She is not sure though if a report was filed, I still need to follow up with that.

She also called her Consulate and unfortunately they really couldn't help her further either as they never got married...

Don't put a lot of hope in VAWA.

What country is she from?

[Moomin 292]

May be the term "flaw" is to not quite right.

Even if you just allowed the beneficiary to return home and then reenter a second time in the 90 days would be a big improvement to the beneficiary.

It is not the USC who is taking the big risk. The USC can typically go visit there partner in there home country. The USC can see how they live. The USC can meet all the relatives. The USC gets total access to just about every thing about there Fiancé. It is the Beneficiary who takes all the risk. It is the Beneficiary who is asked to trust everything that the USC tells them.

It does not sound like it was the beneficiary who got "cold feet" this time so I don't know if it would have made any difference this time.

Both are taking a change or running a risk. I visited my husband in the US on all occasions but you still can't compare it to living together and relocating. The second you don't have a return ticket in the hand is the second you'll most likely see it from a different perspective.

I have access to running a background check on my then fiance, he didn't have that option with me(Danish laws). He couldn't know that I wasn't just using him, or misusing his personal information that was put in the petition. You can support a beneficiary but please don't make it sound as if they've been robbed of a choice of settling in the foreign fiance(e)'s home country. In most cases, the US is simply more attractive than the home country - I don't know how many countries actually have a fiance(e) visa available. That's a tiny commitment compared to marrying first and then being on the hook whether it's the beneficiary or petitioner if the relationship fails shortly after relocating.

Edit: ..And to get back on topic; OP's friend signed numerous amounts of papers. The consequence of not going through with what they "signed" up for is leaving the US after the lawful stay is up. However as someone already mentioned, try finding a company that'll sponsor her for a work visa if her skills provide for that kind. She has to leave US regardless but being in the country, make the best of it.. In a legal way.

Edited March 29, 2012 by moomin

[spectec 12]

I wonder why he kicked her out? Maybe there was a valid reason???

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Thank you everyone for your reply and concerns. I truly appreciate it and keep them coming.

Like a previous poster has mentioned, she has a job lined up but has not started working yet because she does need that work permit. So she has not broken any laws.

I am currently looking into the VAWA option that was mentioned as she did call the police that night as she felt threatened by him and they came and got her out of there. She is not sure though if a report was filed, I still need to follow up with that.

She also called her Consulate and unfortunately they really couldn't help her further either as they never got married...

Thank you everyone for your reply and concerns. I truly appreciate it and keep them coming. Any suggestions are welcome.

While it is admirable that you're trying to help your friend there is nothing she can do. They did not get married and thus VAWA is not a route: http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/359958-k-1-visa-and-no-marriage/page__view__findpost__p__5257068 even if it WAS a route, you said she "felt threatened" at this one occasion. It is highly doubtful that even if she were married to him that she would get VAWA based on that, of course anyone is able to apply but they need a lot more evidence than her feeling threatened one time, people have been denied with much more.

Good to the not working. She cannot work and I wouldn't hold out high hopes of getting a work permit either.

Basically, I suggest she speak with an immigration lawyer before she does anything. She could be getting her hopes up, and setting her life up here just to have it ripped away from her when they adjudicate her application and deny her. She's only been here a month so she's unlikely to have too many roots already planted here, it will be a lot easier to leave.

Yes it sucks that her fiance didn't want to go ahead with the wedding but he didn't HAVE to. Just because she came over on a K1 for him doesn't mean he is forced into a wedding if it doesn't feel right... and obviously something happened. Now she's given up everything in her home country (you say) just to have to go back and start again. Taking immigration out of the equation this happens to MANY people. Moving states, selling houses, giving up leases in good areas, moving away from friends and family. He's not "at fault". He didn't "make her" sell everything. I personally didn't get rid of anything until I visited home in 2010 (long after the wedding etc). Not because I didn't think we would work but because I know relationships change, living together could have changed things (it didn't but there's always a risk). Unfortunately she took a risk, it didn't work out, and now she has to leave the US.

Again, by all means she can TRY and stay (speak to an immigration lawyer definitely) but she'll just be spending money and time on a situation that from your OP, is hopeless.

[rlogan 2,036]

It is not the USC who is taking the big risk. The USC can typically go visit there partner in there home country. The USC can see how they live. The USC can meet all the relatives. The USC gets total access to just about every thing about there Fiancé. It is the Beneficiary who takes all the risk. It is the Beneficiary who is asked to trust everything that the USC tells them.

Talk about biased.

Every couple is in different circumstances and you can't make a blanket statement like this. It looks like the thousands of dollars the USC pays for all this in so many cases is also no "risk" in your opinion. It's free money, picked off the money tree I guess.

[Brian121957 43]

I visited my husband in the US on all occasions but you still can't compare it to living together and relocating.

You just make my point, You must be from one of the countries that you can get tourist visa for entry in to the us for a visit. The waiting time for a Philippine citizen to get a tourist visa to enter the US can be 3 to 5 years. And if they are female, unmarried, age 20 to 40, She may be 5 to 10 years waiting assuming it is approved at all.

Those earlier visits must have given you a lot of comfort when you made the final trip. When you had to say good by to family and friends knowing they may never be able to come visit you in the US. You had to cancel your apartment lease and sell your possession so you could get your entire life to fit in a couple of suit cases.

[Brian121957 43]

Talk about biased.

Every couple is in different circumstances and you can't make a blanket statement like this. It looks like the thousands of dollars the USC pays for all this in so many cases is also no "risk" in your opinion. It's free money, picked off the money tree I guess.

Money = stuff. You can replace stuff. It is the friends and family you leave behind that can't be replaced.

So how many time did visit your then future spouse on a tourist visa before you made the final K1 entry? How many time did you get to see the place that you were going to live before you had to leave your family for what may be years. How many times did you get to meet your mother or father in law before you got on that last flight from your home country.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Money = stuff. You can replace stuff. It is the friends and family you leave behind that can't be replaced.

Why would you have to replace your family and friends from back home? If you move from state to state in the US do you refresh all of your family & friends?

My wife has been in the US for over 2 years now and she is still in contact with all of her family back home and some of her friends. Of course she's added to both since coming here also.

[Brian121957 43]

Why would you have to replace your family and friends from back home? If you move from state to state in the US do you refresh all of your family & friends?

My wife has been in the US for over 2 years now and she is still in contact with all of her family back home and some of her friends. Of course she's added to both since coming here also.

Of course you stay in touch with family and friends.

True the states are similar to countries but don't make the comparison that it is the same when it come to travel.

I live in Indiana and my oldest daughters family has moved to Utah. I visit them and they come back home when they can. There is no government agency telling her she could not return to Indiana until she had the correct papers or face not returning to Utah for years and maybe even for life. In fact even being able to come and go without government intervention they still went to Utah first to check everything out before making the commitment to live there.

My brother lives here in Indiana too. He has children in Ohio, New Jersey and Florida. They too stay in touch and exchange visits when they can. Again, I am fairly sure they have never been detained at the state line because they did not follow the correct procedure or they stayed to long last time they were there.

I am so impressed with the courage and love of my wife. We text chatted or video chatted every day. I made every effort to let her experience what her life here would be before she had to make the ultimate commitment to get on that plane. I showed her where in Goggle earth I was located and she could see 360 pics of the local area. I took the web cam outside so she could see the snow in the winter and we sat on the porch watching the birds in the summer. I set up video chats at my brothers and my parent's so she could see and talk to her future family members. We both made every effort for her 9 yr old daughter to also experience everything. She sat was with me on a video chat as we passed out Halloween candy together. But still the courage and love for me she has to make the necessary arrangements to move her and her daughter 1/2 way around the world to live in a place they had never been.

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

Of course you stay in touch with family and friends.

True the states are similar to countries but don't make the comparison that it is the same when it come to travel.

My point was that those things you mentioned aren't really "given-up" because they move to the US.

Sure it costs more to travel overseas than it does to go from say Illinois to Georgia but with modern communication the divide is much shorter in between trips.

Regarding the comments that the USC only forfeits money/stuff which can be replaced if the relationship goes sour please explain what exactly our foreign spouses have forfeited if the relationship goes sour?

Their family isn't forfeit. Their access to their home country isn't forfeit. Their friends aren't forfeit.

So maybe they sold property back home or quit a job, that's just money/stuff which can be replaced.

To me is seems that both parties are agreeing to forfeit something as they work together to build their new JOINT FUTURE. As adults they both walk willingly into the situation with the understanding that there are no guarantees.

[dwheels76 5,468]

Of course you stay in touch with family and friends.

True the states are similar to countries but don't make the comparison that it is the same when it come to travel.

I live in Indiana and my oldest daughters family has moved to Utah. I visit them and they come back home when they can. There is no government agency telling her she could not return to Indiana until she had the correct papers or face not returning to Utah for years and maybe even for life. In fact even being able to come and go without government intervention they still went to Utah first to check everything out before making the commitment to live there.

My brother lives here in Indiana too. He has children in Ohio, New Jersey and Florida. They too stay in touch and exchange visits when they can. Again, I am fairly sure they have never been detained at the state line because they did not follow the correct procedure or they stayed to long last time they were there.

I am so impressed with the courage and love of my wife. We text chatted or video chatted every day. I made every effort to let her experience what her life here would be before she had to make the ultimate commitment to get on that plane. I showed her where in Goggle earth I was located and she could see 360 pics of the local area. I took the web cam outside so she could see the snow in the winter and we sat on the porch watching the birds in the summer. I set up video chats at my brothers and my parent's so she could see and talk to her future family members. We both made every effort for her 9 yr old daughter to also experience everything. She sat was with me on a video chat as we passed out Halloween candy together. But still the courage and love for me she has to make the necessary arrangements to move her and her daughter 1/2 way around the world to live in a place they had never been.

WOW what excellent ideas to let our love ones see our world. Never even thought of this. Thanks Brian121957.!

[Brian121957 43]

My point was that those things you mentioned aren't really "given-up" because they move to the US.

Sure it costs more to travel overseas than it does to go from say Illinois to Georgia but with modern communication the divide is much shorter in between trips.

Regarding the comments that the USC only forfeits money/stuff which can be replaced if the relationship goes sour please explain what exactly our foreign spouses have forfeited if the relationship goes sour?

Their family isn't forfeit. Their access to their home country isn't forfeit. Their friends aren't forfeit.

So maybe they sold property back home or quit a job, that's just money/stuff which can be replaced.

To me is seems that both parties are agreeing to forfeit something as they work together to build their new JOINT FUTURE. As adults they both walk willingly into the situation with the understanding that there are no guarantees.

Lets play devils advocate.

Lets pretend that the beneficiary is not doing it for love. Lets pretend they are doing it for any and all the wrong reasons. The USC can go and visit many times. Can come unannounced. How about this, while you are there go over and talk to the neighbors. I don't know there are a lot of things the USC can do to put any fears to rest or discover the truth.

Now lest pretend the the USC is not doing it for love. Lets pretend they are doing it for any or all the wrong reasons. The beneficiary gets a phone call every day. There is always a smile on the face of the USC during the video chats. The USC sends greeting cards expressing deep undying love every holiday, AND all of it is a lie. The options to find the truth for the beneficiary who live in some countries (i.e., Philippines) is very limited. The beneficiary won't know the truth until they are in the US for weeks or months. And that job they quit back home, I am sure it will still be there when they go back. If not there will be something better. You know good jobs in the Philippines are so easy to get.

[xavierwayne 0]

She is from Germany, so am I.