No replys to her invitations:(

[Lizzy 0]

Well if you remeber a while back i was asking about party ideas for my little girl, she just turned 5.

Well i sent out 10 invitations to the children at her school AND I HEARD NOTHING BACK. So it seems there will be only me, daddy, auntie and a little girl, thats a daughter of our friend.

I even checked with one of the moms, the invitations where sent out and they recived them. Out of 10 kids not one parent got back to me.

I feel so bad for my daughter, why would no one get back to me, not even replys with a no, NOTHING.

She is so upset and i feel like ######, it would cost nothing for those moms and dads to make an hour for the party, on a sunday afternoon.

She is really upset, Goodness its hard to make friends in the US and to fit in:(

My Rant over, thanks.

Melanie

[Welshcookie 17]

OMG!!! That is so sh!tty!!! Is this an American thing? cos when I sent out wedding invitations to my husbands colleagues not one replied We ended up paying for way too much food cos some turned up and some didn't, but I had to cater for them just in case.....weird....

[Jenn! 918]

Did you write RSVP on the invitation?

[TracyLuis 0]

Americans can be ridiculously inconsiderate at times....and I say that as an American. I am so sorry to hear about your experience. My heart breaks for your little girl.

[LifenLaLaland 0]

I'm very sorry for you daughter...when you contacted the parents were they busy for the day of the party?

Was it an oversight about RSVPing? Actually (not to hijack this thread) is it an American thing??

With regard to entertaining I have to say that I've never seen anything like some of the situations that have presented themselves since I arrived here in March 2005. Could be that as a society, we've all lost the art of etiquette or it might be a regional thing. Either way I miss the old days

[Angelica 0]

I'm so sorry for your little girl It's a big deal when you're 5. Personally, whether the invite was rsvp'd or not, they should have let you know their intentions, you're not psychic. It's bloody rude if you ask me

kim

[Jenn! 918]

I'm so sorry for your little girl It's a big deal when you're 5. Personally, whether the invite was rsvp'd or not, they should have let you know their intentions, you're not psychic. It's bloody rude if you ask me

kim

Is it really? Maybe it's just me, maybe it's an American thing, I don't know. Unless the invitation says RSVP, I don't necessarily respond. Then again, nearly all invitations that I receive either say RSVP or regrets only. I didn't realize people would take it as rudeness.

[Widge 0]

Disgusted and appallled for you heartbroken for how your poor daughter must feel. There is no excuse for bad manners and sheer ignorance in such a situation any parent would know that you needed to cater the party (has it actually taken place or may thye just show up on the day )

i recently had to send a "sorry we can't make it" reply to my nephews wedding and was shocked to find there were no suitable cards available here (considering the wierd situations you can buy cards for) maybe it is an American/cultural thing and they just dont reply/acknowledge invitations alllllllll very strange .

happy birthday to your lttle girl though

[Cristy 4]

That is totally crappy! I am so sorry. Happy Birthday to her.

[KarenCee 3]

Whether or not there is an RSVP, in my personal opinion is when it's for a child, the best thing to do is at least call the parent and at least say yea or nay to the invitation.

Lizzy, I am so sorry for your daughter. I know it's heartbreaking for a parent to see their child so distraught. What I usually do for my daughter is take goodies to her classroom on the day of her birthday and then later her dad and I do something special for her.

[Sharon 1]

I feel terrible for your little girl. She probably feels like "Nobody likes me enough to want to come to my birthday party" when in reality it could be that half of the parents may not have been given the invitations by their child too tho, and weren't aware that their kid had been invited to a party. The invites might have reached the kids but not gone on to the parents, know what I mean? That does happen. Parents are supposed to check their kids backpacks for letters and such but what with a lot of both parents working nowadays it doesn't always happen. Or kids of that age can lose the invite after they get it. That's the story your little girl should get, ok? Much better than her thinking she isn't liked. I know because it happened to my little girl once too. But I have a very low tolerance for ignorance and I'm not ashamed to admit that I sent a small note in a sealed envelope to the very same kids that got invites but addressed it to "The parents of ______". I told them that I was a bit upset that they hadn't gotten back to me despite the fact that I had noted to RSVP. I mentioned that it was not only them but ALL of the parents of the kids who'd been invited had not replied nor had a single child shown up for the party. I further mentioned that I had still bought sufficient food and party bags for all the kids on the off chance that they might still be coming and so hadn't called assuming I would know they'd be coming. To make it short, most of them replied back to me that their kid either hadn't given them the invitation, that it had been lost and so they didn't have our number to call and let us know they couldn't attend or some such reason. They may have been bogus reasons but at least I said my piece and felt a bit better about it....

And now....now I write on every invitation that I'd appreciate an RSVP whether or not they can attend so that I know how much food to have at the ready. And it works.

I hope your little girl passes thru the hurt quickly and has a great birthday despite it all.

[JenT 0]

Don't consider it a 'no', Lizzy. It's actually quite common for people in the US to ignore the RSVP request on invitations. I've experienced it time and time again, and so have friends and family members. A friend of mine from Germany and I were recently discussing this social faux pax. It may be nothing more than bed manners on behalf of these parents...

It is quite rude and upsetting when it happens to you.

I would make some phone calls and say something like, "I know how backpack mail can be sometimes... I just wanted to phone and be sure that you received the invitation for my daughter's birthday party." And see what they say... nail them then and there with a follow up if they are non-commital: "We are trying to get an accurate count for food and gift bags. Will your daughter/son be attending?" and see what they say.

Jen

Edited October 8, 2006 by JenT

[Elizabethnhenry 0]

Melanie, As the others have said, I am so sorry. I feel bad for your little girl. But I agree with those you have said you should call...just say you need a head count for catering or food preparation or whatever.

Hopefully they are just lazy and rude...and were planning on showing.

[Lizzy 0]

HI and thanks for all your concerns.

I did put an RSVP on the invitations. The school said they could not give me the bames of the children, so i had to in good faith, let them do it and hand them out.

Funnily enough ive just had one call from a parrent saying there child will be coming:O...talk about leaving it till the last minute!

Thanks again..

[Welshcookie 17]

well I hope she has a great day anyway