I told you so!!!

[AndyMisiu 0]

I would just like to say that I don't have any ill feelings towards anyone on this site. I was just proving a point, big deal!! maybe I went the wrong way about doing that but I acted on impulse. These were the first people I thought about when I opened that letter and that was how I honestly felt at the time. After thinking everything over I should have just posted my story with the results and let those people realize they were wrong themselves. I agree, the thread was immature but it wasn't meant to hurt anyone.

At the end of the day we're all here for a common goal. To be with our sweethearts!!

I believe that some people are following the same steps and I hope they get the same results.

This has gotten a little out of hand but at least it's provided me with some entertainment, thanks!

Good luck to everyone!! and I hope we will all be with our loved ones soon.

[Kirsten L 0]

Wow, I applaud Kirsten. You fed into Andy's psychosis that the govt is indeed wronging him on a daily basis for making him wait for his NOA2.

As someone who has dealt with personality and mood disorders in others on a first-hand basis, I can promise you that Andy is not even vaguely psychotic. Impatient sometimes, sure--like all of us. But he frankly admits it when he is, and what he experiences is perfectly human. Why is it so hard for so many individuals here to allow others their moments of impatience with what is indeed, throughout, a very trying process? Why can't we just let people be where they are and support them in those moments instead of telling them what they should or shouldn't feel and/or squelching them? Feelings are feelings. They happen. Certainly we have a choice in what we DO with or about those feelings. But feelings themselves? They just ARE, and we need a place to go with them. One of the things that first drew me to this site is that it provided that sort of kindness, understanding, and support to people at EVERY stage of the immigration process. Seems that's shifting in a very unfortunate way lately. Just because someone isn't where you are doesn't mean that where they are isn't o.k. or valid. Do you see what I mean...?

Rebeccajo & Kitkat have helped HUNDREDS of people on here.

I don't think anyone here has said any differently. In fact, Andy himself has acknowledged the help these women offer. I think he simply differs with them in regard to justified and acceptable courses of action in particular circumstances. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. He took a course of action that paid off. I think that demonstrates pretty clearly that he wasn't wrong to pursue the path that he did. USCIS even agreed with him, for Pete's sake!

Anyone siding with Andy has not seen his history.

A number of people who've contributed to this thread and know Andy have already stated otherwise. Andy has a particular temperment. So do you. So do I. So does everyone here. He has worked hard to be supportive of others on this site. He's incredibly willing to admit his own foibles. He may not always communicate perfectly...but neither do I. Neither do you. No one does. His willingness to admit when he sometimes has gone overboard has been exhibited again and again. I'd like to think we'd all be given some grace when we extend a mea culpa. But hey, if you can't or if you don't groove to the beat of his personality, you have the freedom to step away...

I have no desire to continue feeding into Andy's ego so I will leave this thread & for the first time on Vj use the ignore button.

...which apparently you've now decided to do. One small point of clarification. When you make a big deal out of the fact that you're stepping away, it negates the fact that you're doing so. It continues to add to a really unfortunate and unnecessary escalation. Quiet usually works better. Why do people here seem to like to draw hard and fast battle lines so often...? It is really very disheartening to watch...

We can clearly see in this post that intelligence is not in play with the OP. My god -neener, neener. Really? Are you actually an adult? GROW UP.

If you really see it as an immature lashing out and not as the joke that I feel sure it was (knowing Andy's sense of humor as I do), don't you think that your commentary on it amounts to..."You're a big baby!" "No, YOU are!" "NO! YOU are!" "NO!!! YOU ARE!!!" Don't respond. Step away without giving the time of day to what you see as an unworthy comment. Anything else just makes things worse. Please stop to reflect...Please...

Here's a basic principle that I've learned the hard way over the last couple of years--but learned WELL, I can promise you. As long as you keep pointing your finger at someone else, they have every reason to keep their defenses up, deny they've caused a problem, and refocus attention on YOU as the bad guy. If you keep your own behavior polite and/or unreadable, the other person is left with nothing to focus on, question, and consider but THEIR OWN behavior. It stops the escalation. You may even get an apology. I've seen it happen frequently. How about just trying it...? Whaddya say...? Let's together put an end to poisonous posting...We've already seen way too much of it around here...

[Sheriff Uling 3]

To everyone and anyone bashing Andy...

Put a sock in it... Goodness! Some people are so freakin self righteous! Get over yourselves... Some of you are filled with such jealously, spite, and malcontent that you can't wait for chance to exude your own less than perfect side, when the opportunity presents itself. You don’t like what someone does therefore you decide to pay that individual back in kind. Good for you! It's baffling how some of you are even getting married.

Cheers!

Sheriff Uling

[AndyMisiu 0]

To everyone and anyone bashing Andy...

Put a sock in it... Goodness! Some people are so freakin self righteous! Get over yourselves... Some of you are filled with such jealously, spite, and malcontent that you can't wait for chance to exude your own less than perfect side, when the opportunity presents itself. You don’t like what someone does therefore you decide to pay that individual back in kind. Good for you! It's baffling how some of you are even getting married.

Cheers!

Sheriff Uling

well, I guess you can't disagree with the sheriff!! first time the laws been in my corner in a long time

Ok, I need a break!! peace out until tomorrow!!!!

[Savanphil 3]

I'm just plain tooo lazy to read the back plot of this story...can somebody pretty please give me the summerized version ....

I'm sure this will help all of the LAZY/NEWSY vjers

thanks.

[eric&gen 0]

You have to be careful what you say on VJ lol. Its like walking on eggshells around here.

[spiritee 0]

I agree. Leave Andy alone. I admit there are some nut cases on here but Andy is not one of them. He was simply emphasising the fact that something can be done. So instead of bashing him you should be applauding him for taking affirmative action and getting results rather than sitting back whining about it, as long as you know i.e the 60 days after the RFE then you have a valid case, it’s not rocket science, know your rights in all situations. Besides what harm can a Congressional enquiry do and a request for expedition in this case.

If you don’t try in life sometimes you may never know. From what I know, Andy is a great Guy on here, and he is far from offensive, I think that he is misunderstood because he is a go getter and some people feel threatened by people who are like this!

Edited October 7, 2006 by spiritee

[rebeccajo 14]

Those who are bashing Andy.... you DO realize, I hope, that you are just as bad for bitching him out publicly......

Only responding in kind, my friend.

I AM surprised by Andy's result. My initial thought (after the insult was hurled) was 'well looks like USCIS is having a customer service refresher course - this is one for the books and maybe we should all see if this is a service improvement'. I would also normally say 'well looks like I was wrong on this one'.

But I WON'T stand here and be talked trash to by a little smart a$$ who's gratitude for the amount of time I spent in a PM to him the other night is this kind of immature public rant.

Rebeccajo...

You know I like you, just like I like Andy. I'm not taking sides here. But I think that what you wrote above demonstrates exactly the cycle within which you and others here tend to get trapped. The point I tried to make earlier and that PlatyPius appeared to echo is that responding "in kind," as you perceive it, makes things worse, not better. If you don't like what's happening, why not go directly to Andy in a PM and say, "Hey, maybe you don't mean to be hurtful, I don't know, but I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable with what you just did in a public forum. Can we talk about this please?" If that doesn't work, step away. You're a strong, intelligent, mature woman, but when you choose to repay what you see as evil (even if I think that may not be the case) with evil, you just perpetuate...you guessed it, evil. Why not break the cycle? I can't believe that you really enjoy the unpleasant drama that is being propagated through the current strategy...do you...?

Kirsten, I did that very thing the other day. Spent probably an hour on a PM with Andy. His 'kiss my bumper' is the thanks I got for that.

This isn't about 'repaying evil for evil' - which is a bit melodramatic to say the least. This is about an ungrateful, high-handed slap in the face.

[Savanphil 3]

I'm just plain tooo lazy to read the back plot of this story...can somebody pretty please give me the summerized version ....

I'm sure this will help all of the LAZY/NEWSY vjers

thanks.

somebody? anybody? please

[mozplay 29]

Just wanted to ask .... when did "kiss my bumper" become the worst thing a person could say?

Way to go Andy on pressing forward - glad to see things worked out.

But for everyone else? Was "kiss my bumper" enough to solicit all this hate posting? Glad to see nobody is throwing stones around here (and for those of you who didn't catch it ... that was sarcasm - SARCASM )

MO

[Kirsten L 0]

Kirsten, I did that very thing the other day. Spent probably an hour on a PM with Andy. His 'kiss my bumper' is the thanks I got for that.

This isn't about 'repaying evil for evil' - which is a bit melodramatic to say the least. This is about an ungrateful, high-handed slap in the face.

Rebeccajo...

I've sent you a PM in reply to the one you sent me. I hope we can work this out.

Sigh...

[rebeccajo 14]

But for everyone else? Was "kiss my bumper" enough to solicit all this hate posting?

Probably not.

[Fandango 1,439]

To everyone and anyone bashing Andy...

Put a sock in it... Goodness! Some people are so freakin self righteous! Get over yourselves... Some of you are filled with such jealously, spite, and malcontent that you can't wait for chance to exude your own less than perfect side, when the opportunity presents itself. You don’t like what someone does therefore you decide to pay that individual back in kind. Good for you! It's baffling how some of you are even getting married.

Cheers!

Sheriff Uling

You also do realize that the bit in red could be said to you as well for this very post of yours? Just curious.

Oh, and the only other .02 I'll add (cos I am not familiar with this whole thing) is that maybe you should wait to be here 5 mins maybe before bashing those who have built this place into what it is. I don't need to know a backstory to know who some of these people are, and the rest of what you said is very wrong about them. But you wouldn't know that, cos you just got here.

[Sheriff Uling 3]

But you wouldn't know that, cos you just got here.

I have been here long enough to observe that you are a wonderful person. If that matters...

[CarolineM 0]

nm..

not even worth it.

Edited October 7, 2006 by CarolineM