Fiance' was cheating while PREGNANT

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

ICE can't investigate every case I understand, but her sponsors contacted ICE, and my congressman contacted ICE. So, now they have it on file.

Yes, they know and they've got the information in her file. Unfortunately, it's highly unlikely they'll act against her unless she commits a crime. They simply have far too many bigger fish to fry than green card scammers. They can't touch her now anyway because she's in a period of authorized stay while her VAWA self-petition is being adjudicated.

USCIS was notified before her K-1 expired but after we were married. At least they know. My worry is that USCIS and ICE are not sharing data well. According to testimony at the child custody hearing the ICE agents didn't know what her status was. That is scary since that was several months after all this happened.

You are correct. Although ICE and USCIS are part of the same department of the federal government, they often keep their investigations confidential within their own agency. This is intended to prevent agents in one agency from inadvertently compromising an investigation in another agency. The results of a completed investigation usually become part of the shared DHS database.

Abuse? There was no abuse. No police reports, no harassing emails, no testimonials. She "imprisoned" herself with her unwavering love for her man back in her home country. If she was miserable, that is just tough toe nails. She made her bed, now she has sleep in it.

Well, she's got to present some sort of evidence that the claimed abuse occurred. They won't simply take her word for it.

I will know if she is successful or not, because if she does get her green card fraudulently she will come back after the child. More battles lie ahead.

Yes, well, that's the nature of child custody. It is, inherently, always temporary. Either parent can return to court at any time and challenge the current court order. I got sole physical and legal custody of my daughter, but it was always my worst nightmare that my ex-wife would drag me back to court to try to regain custody (my ex-wife wasn't an immigrant, btw). Fortunately, it never happened. My daughter is now over 18, and my ex-wife's drug problems eventually ended her life.

Vietnamese women as scammers. I don't know the statistics, but when I did go to USCIS and say I was there to report romance fraud the woman right away said Russian, Filipina or Vietnamese?!!!

For females, those three countries rate at or near the top of the list. Filipinas and Vietnamese women are looking to escape poverty. Russian women are looking to strike it rich.

I don't want to beat up on my wife's culture, but the Vietnamese have a different sense for what's ethical than most Americans do. There's a general sense that it's ok to lie and cheat as long as it helps them, their family, or their friends. Part of this certainly comes from the fact that they routinely have to deal with one of the most corrupt governments on the planet, but part of it is endemic in Asian culture. If you've ever dealt with a Chinese businessman then you know what I'm talking about. My wife's niece sums it up by saying that Vietnamese people are sneaky. She, and other Vietnamese, have cautioned me about getting involved in any business relationship with other Vietnamese where any trust is required. This isn't to say that Vietnamese are inherently bad people. It's largely based on cultural conditioning. They view life as a competition. If you can get what you want by cheating someone else, as long as you're not harming your family or friends, then you've won and the other guy has lost. To them, this is "fair and square".

It usually becomes clear pretty early in a relationship whether you're considered a family member to be protected, or one of the many "others" who they can take advantage of. Your wife apparently viewed you as one of the latter.

My big question now is how long is typical until she gets a notification of removal proceedings?

Not until her VAWA self-petition has been adjudicated, and she's exhausted the appeals process. Depending on how aggressive her attorney is, it could be years.

[Sandra G. 5,057]

aaydrian Even though the law has the word women in the title, abused men may also apply for relief under VAWA. It's for BATTERED SPOUSE not BATTERED WIFE,lol

[Tanya and Barry 59]

JVP Wrote:

There's a general sense that it's ok to lie and cheat as long as it helps them, their family, or their friends.

This can be a characteristic of Russian culture as well. It is known as being "clever."

[aaydrian 479]

aaydrian Even though the law has the word women in the title, abused men may also apply for relief under VAWA. It's for BATTERED SPOUSE not BATTERED WIFE,lol

Hear that guys, you don't have to suffer in silence any longer.

[james&olya 1,121]

Hear that guys, you don't have to suffer in silence any longer.

I had an ex that used to hit and kick when she was mad. Problem was she was too small for any of it to really do any damage. Once she came at me with a knife but it was easy to disarm her. Afterwards I regretted not letting her cut me so that I could have had a better chance for custody of our son! I should add, NEVER laid a hand on her!

[verysadguy 170]

Thanks everyone and JimvaPhuong for the great info. I will continue to post here as new things come up. I did send a FedEx to update the VSC VAWA agents on the evidence in the hands of the ICE special agents.

[evelyn1140 18]

Thanks everyone and JimvaPhuong for the great info. I will continue to post here as new things come up. I did send a FedEx to update the VSC VAWA agents on the evidence in the hands of the ICE special agents.

Let us know. I wonder the end of this situation.

[ralphlaw 14]

Ok, I'm one of those sad bleeding-heart types But to play devil's advocate...

Have you considered she may have cared about you and wanted to start a life with you but was simply still in love with her "ex"? These things take time sometimes.

You're absolutely right to divorce her, but she's been uprooted from her home and past life. It's what she wants, but probably wouldn't have done so if she wasn't so desperate to escape poverty. Desperation makes people do a lot of crazy things.

Sounds like you've already thrown the book at her. Unless she's going to be a danger to yourself or your child, would it be so bad to have her as some small part in your lives? Why does she have to be deported? ( honestly just asking here )

[verysadguy 170]

Ok, I'm one of those sad bleeding-heart types But to play devil's advocate...

Have you considered she may have cared about you and wanted to start a life with you but was simply still in love with her "ex"? These things take time sometimes.

You're absolutely right to divorce her, but she's been uprooted from her home and past life. It's what she wants, but probably wouldn't have done so if she wasn't so desperate to escape poverty. Desperation makes people do a lot of crazy things.

Sounds like you've already thrown the book at her. Unless she's going to be a danger to yourself or your child, would it be so bad to have her as some small part in your lives? Why does she have to be deported? ( honestly just asking here )

I apologize in advance "ralphlaw" but are you for real? She lied everyday for 2 years. I didn't marry her so she could learn to love me. She was supposed to love me all along. Love relationships are forged on trust and communication and sincerity. She came here fraudulently. Obviously you don't understand con artists. They act so nice and sweet and wonderful, but they will cheat you blind. My ex-wife will continue to attempt to get a green card by lying, filing false affidavits, and rallying innocent people to her aid. If she succeeds you can believe she will come after our child and for money. You leave poverty by hard work and education and faith and following the rules, not by scamming.

Incidentally, one of our court dates was postponed. A court date for her to try to get some money from me. So, she didn't even bother to come see the baby. How messed up is that? That is a mother? So, Mr. Devil's Advocate should I just let her walk all over me. Should I just let her abuse the US Immigration and Legal system? What is the danger in giving her a green card? What is the danger in her coming from poverty and suing people? What is the danger in a sociopathic liar raising my child?

So, she has to be deported. She came to the USA with false premises. I applaud USCIS when it needs to get tough for those who take advantage of the system, but I grimace when I see abuse and ignorance.

[verysadguy 170]

Not until her VAWA self-petition has been adjudicated, and she's exhausted the appeals process. Depending on how aggressive her attorney is, it could be years.

She doesn't have a lawyer Jim. She is using a religious non-profit that supports "trafficked" women etc. I think her family sold her a little short on footing her legal bills.

[ralphlaw 14]

I apologize in advance "ralphlaw" but are you for real? She lied everyday for 2 years. I didn't marry her so she could learn to love me. She was supposed to love me all along.

I was only asking...

But anyway. You're the perfect husband and she's pure evil. Got it!

[verysadguy 170]

I was only asking...

But anyway. You're the perfect husband and she's pure evil. Got it!

Pretty close! I was a more than adequate husband, and she was and still is a sociopathic liar. She is not pure evil just a liar and a cheat. She cooked really good, cleaned lousy, and was pretty lousy in bed (more than likely that was my fault LOL). Other then the fact that she contacted her lover every single day of our marriage; she was mildly tolerable when I could get her to stop watching youtube 10 hours a day or when she stopped complaining that she felt no emotion for me (maybe that's why she agreed to commit adultery with him on her planned return to her home country). How about them apples? Maybe I should cut her some slack?

I'm thinking she would still send her lover money as she had his bank account number, would more than likely get her green card then sponsor him to come to the US, for sure runaway with my child and sue for child support, and in the meantime is claiming emotional abuse even though I never called her names, never used curse words, never deprived her in any way, bought her a beautiful home, supported her in every way imaginable, and now I'm the bad guy. Bizarre.

[verysadguy 170]

Quick update:

VSC has confirmed they have the case in hand, but of course due to strict confidentiality rules they will not share any information regarding what is happening.

[VanessaTony 3,567]

Quick update:

VSC has confirmed they have the case in hand, but of course due to strict confidentiality rules they will not share any information regarding what is happening.

They can confirm your I-864 has been pulled right? That's not a breach of confidentiality as it's your form.

[Mountain Climber 186]

Quick update:

VSC has confirmed they have the case in hand, but of course due to strict confidentiality rules they will not share any information regarding what is happening.

I hope everything works out for you.