Fiance' was cheating while PREGNANT

[Merrytooth 5,748]

Ask for Forgiveness to Let Your Enemies Guard Down But Show Your True Colors Later.

Don't ever let your guard down!

“All warfare is based on deception.”
― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Continuing to be only concerned for the offspring and no care for the adult drama stuff.

1) What's the worst case scenario if the child does spend more "supervised" time with the Mother?

Here you have a Mother who seems available and wants to spend time with her offspring.

I continue to be conflicted.

[verysadguy 170]

sorry man, this is manipulator 101 behavior. If'n rlogan was active round here, he'd explain it in 1000 words or more (I don't have the time or the energy at the moment, but..)

I'll posit one of her coaches has suggested this to her, instead.

Totally agree. In my mind I was thinking, man she looks hot, hit that man! But my track record was saying, "the senses deceive from time to time, and it is prudent never to wholly trust who have deceived us even once"...Rene Descartes.

The senses deceive from time to time, and it is prudent never to trust wholly those who have deceived us even once.

Rene Descartes

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/prudent.html#E3bBeOlvijmZ7XeU.99

The senses deceive from time to time, and it is prudent never to trust wholly those who have deceived us even once.

Rene Descartes

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/prudent.html#E3bBeOlvijmZ7XeU.99

The senses deceive from time to time, and it is prudent never to trust wholly those who have deceived us even once.

Rene Descartes

Read more at http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/prudent.html#E3bBeOlvijmZ7XeU.99

Continuing to be only concerned for the offspring and no care for the adult drama stuff.

1) What's the worst case scenario if the child does spend more "supervised" time with the Mother?

Here you have a Mother who seems available and wants to spend time with her offspring.

I continue to be conflicted.

I hear you man, but she showed up for only 4 hours, and she had 6 weeks notice...she is angling...

[verysadguy 170]

Ask for Forgiveness to Let Your Enemies Guard Down But Show Your True Colors Later.

Don't ever let your guard down!

“All warfare is based on deception.”

― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

Love these. She is a proven sociopath. Child stays protected, yet very loved.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

verysadguy,

~~ She asked me straight up, "you don't have to follow the letter and words of the court agreement, please give me more time." ~~

Remember this post, about giving her extra time with the kid.

What I'm referring is you giving her extra time, beyond what she has been given by the courts. I agree that you being flexible is a good thing for visits but don't go out of your way. She can use the extras against you in court such as saying if she is such a bad mother why would you give her extra time with your daughter. Then ask the court to make the extra time that they have gotten used to as her new allotted time. Then also her lawyer would start other things to add to the new CO, such as no more supervised visits, and over nights at the mothers place. I've seen this happen before and not for good reasons but to get back at the other parent.

I don't remember what her visitation schedule is, and if she takes all her days or if she is pretty flaky? Document how long each visit is and if she takes all her given days. If your not already doing it.

Definitely be polite at all times, but don't go do the extras even if you think they are helping you. I can't remember how much you must supply her with when she comes to town but do not do more then you legally have too.

[verysadguy 170]

verysadguy,

~~ She asked me straight up, "you don't have to follow the letter and words of the court agreement, please give me more time." ~~

Remember this post, about giving her extra time with the kid.

good one Merry! Its hard to keep up with all the info!!! Thanks so much!

[Brian1967## 119]

Very Sad Guy, I agree the best warfare is conducted through deception. Do not let your guard down.

[verysadguy 170]

Very Sad Guy, I agree the best warfare is conducted through deception. Do not let your guard down.

The best offense is a good defense? I just want my baby girl happy and safe. Mom has certain legal "rights" and that is what she will get and nothing more. Until she saves up her pennies and tries to take me back to family court which I do not anticipate any time soon. Sadly, mom's actions will speak for themselves one day to my little angel. I can only rely on my relentless resolve to enrich, support, protect, and love my child. That alone should be sufficient. One can only hope.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Every parent that I know desires for enrichening, supporting, protecting and loving their offsprings. It's coded in our DNA. Taking care of an offspring is what we are supposed to do. Studies have shown the benefits of chidlren needing both parents.

The more I read this thread the more I start to wonder if there's a slippery slope towards PAS, but what do I know, I am not a trained clinic expert just the Father of a now grown 18 year old Daughter who was in a similar situation.

[Sandra G. 5,048]

Just because she mothered a child it does not mean she is a mother. I read one day " It takes someone really brave to be a mother, someone strong to raise a child and someone special to love someone more than herself".

I believe there is no excuse for one parent doesn't pursue a relationship with their child, besides giving up for adoption because of extreme poverty or bad choices as a teenager. Your ex wife chose to "abandon" the kid for months and months, she was too self centered in herself, now she has some free time and she realized she has a daughter". that. The nature of being a parent is to love your child more than you love yourself.

[verysadguy 170]

Every parent that I know desires for enrichening, supporting, protecting and loving their offsprings. It's coded in our DNA. Taking care of an offspring is what we are supposed to do. Studies have shown the benefits of chidlren needing both parents.

The more I read this thread the more I start to wonder if there's a slippery slope towards PAS, but what do I know, I am not a trained clinic expert just the Father of a now grown 18 year old Daughter who was in a similar situation.

She alienated herself Gowon. I have no reason to bend over backwards for her. She chooses to only visit for a few hours every few months. Bizarre.

As for sandranj ,she is right, this woman selfishly went for her "freedom" and money and sex. If she loved the child, she would move to this town and prove she is of the ilk to be a mother.

[verysadguy 170]

And to keep other readers on target with this entire thread:

This woman is trying to get her green card fraudulently. The ongoing history and discussion revolves around 3 important points and deserves further attention and follow on.

1. proving moral character-per sandranj that is a done deal, regardless of disgusting acts, she didn't do anything criminal and wasn't charged

2. bonafide marriage-yes I married her and had a child with her and put her on my insurance, but....she lied to get to the marriage, and lied during the marriage. It was a charade. A scam.

3. proving abuse-no police reports, no arrests, no physical abuse, and her false claims of emotional abuse and extreme cruelty.

#1 is over and done. She gets a free pass on acts of moral turpitude. Great.

#2 is a real marriage, and a real child, and real health insurance enough to make a litany of lies and deceit enough evidence to say "oh well, you sorry a$$ #######, you got used"

#3 uncovering the sham and bringing it to light and withdrawing support for a K-1 AOS to a green card really cruel, or is that fair justice? No battery, no verbal abuse, no human trafficking, just a nice home, clothes, money, food, shelter, and multiple attempts to right a wrong seriously that is cruel and extreme?

The saga continues. No idea what the last VAWA appeal adjudication was.

In the meantime she can come see the child every 6 weeks per the court order with supervision with no bad mouthing, no alienation etc. until justice or karma catches up with her. Until the next turn of events, please continue to provide your opinions, insight, and mostly your expertise and experience with VAWA, fraud, and family law. Thanks everyone.

[verysadguy 170]

Quick update, there has been ZERO contact from the baby momma for 4 months.

My thought is she is pregnant from her new boyfriend. Unconfirmed reports of same from a respected confidant.

Still no clue on immigration status. It's been one year since her VAWA appeal was granted but unknown result of that appeal.

Meanwhile Little girl and daddy doing great

Daddy, "Good night honey I love you.

Little girl, "I love you too"

PRICELESS

[Caryh 5,206]

Quick update, there has been ZERO contact from the baby momma for 4 months.

My thought is she is pregnant from her new boyfriend. Unconfirmed reports of same from a respected confidant.

Still no clue on immigration status. It's been one year since her VAWA appeal was granted but unknown result of that appeal.

Meanwhile Little girl and daddy doing great

Daddy, "Good night honey I love you.

Little girl, "I love you too"

PRICELESS

Great news she's out of your hair. Maybe for good if she's having another child. She doesn't appear to be the type that will go to much effort to maintain contact with your daughter.

[verysadguy 170]

Great news she's out of your hair. Maybe for good if she's having another child. She doesn't appear to be the type that will go to much effort to maintain contact with your daughter.

For now yes, way out of our business. She's having a blast partying with her boyfriend, and she hasn't shown one iota of caring for her child. Actions speak louder than words. Many web sites state abandonment of offspring is a strong sign of a sociopathic personality.

The next issues to arise in this case worthy of discussion for now are failure to pay child support based on a court order and consideration of termination of parental rights.

In the meantime I focus on parenting and role modeling until I find a woman worthy of loving and providing as a maternal replacement for my little angel.