Fiance' was cheating while PREGNANT

verysadguy · January 9, 2013

Yes it is and as a child services worker when I have a parent who has this type of documentation I would accept that journal as credible over the word of the other parent. I always advise my clients to do this because I have also seen it make a difference in court personally with my own children too.

Thanks to all the child protective services advice. I have written down a ton of things. I have so much journal and evidence it is a mountain. Most of it shared with the proper investigative agencies.

I am also building an extensive timeline. I may not have been a perfect husband for reading her emails to her lover or taking her phone once (I gave it back), but she kept lying and sneaking around with her overseas lover even after she promised to stop with him. I stopped doing those things because it was futile and wrong. And I told her so. Her family even was initially very angry she was cheating and lying, and told her to stop with him and that she would be monitored. They told me to do that stuff to her. But liar that she is she continued sneaking around the internet with her lover and convinced them she was "being good" and turned them against me. So, I wrote all this down and made a timeline. Crazy stuff and claimed I controlled her, enslaved her for sex, and that she was a victim of human trafficking. Emotional abuse? Hmmm, beautiful suburban home, free to come and go, all expenses paid, big allowance, nannies, babysitters, travel, clothes, jewelry...TOTALLY SPOILED!!! Some abuse. :help: I'm a romance fraud victim.

verysadguy · January 19, 2013

I work for child and family services in my state and I can tell you that this information is incorrect. CPS does not get involved in legal issues and custody cases unless there is evidence of abuse. We ensure the safety of the child and monitor that the child is not being neglected nor abused. As long as we have ONE protective parent and the other parent is not in the home we will not intervine unless the child has been harmed. CPS is a civil agency and can not cross court orders. This would be a matter to consult a family attorney or go thorough your states Office of the Attorney General to pursue child support.

can you PM me Hamigirl? I can't send you a message for some reason. thanks!!!

verysadguy · January 23, 2013

case update

Remains in hands of VAWA adjudicators, no known timeline, evidence submitted but of limited impact.

Apparently, not only is she claiming emotional abuse during our relationship, but also using any interactions after we split as further evidence.

No police reports, no violence.

Bottom line girls around the world, if you want to come to the USA, just be a good actress. Easy.

Go ahead and cheat while pregnant. Go ahead and do pornography when you're married. Go ahead and lie to everyone. Just blame your husband and chances are you'll get a green card anyways. :blink:

VAWA is wide open to fraud, again at the expense of truly battered men & women. Very Sad state of affairs. Only in the good old US of A.

little_dreamer · January 23, 2013

All I can say is....IM SO GLAD YOU HAVE YOUR DAUGHTER!!! She is lucky to have an amazing daddy!!! Ugh just reading this...I hope she gets caught and gets deported and u never have to deal with her again...may I ask, are you Vietnamese too?

verysadguy · January 25, 2013

For a few folks who don't believe...

The girl I married told me she didn't have a boyfriend.

We talked everyday by internet chat.

I spent about $25,000 in one year to visit her, do immigration papers, support her and family, do engagement party, and buy a diamond ring, then fly her to the USA.

I got emails that said she loved me ON THE SAME DAY I FOUND PHOTOS OF HER ON ROMANTIC ESCAPES WITH HER LOVER OR AT HIS HOME.

Her family sent me emails how lucky I was and how much she loved me ON THE SAME DAY I FOUND PICTURES OF HER IN BED WITH HER LOVER.

She sent me nice conservative pictures of herself, but I found TOPLESS PHOTOS TAKEN WITH THE CAMERA AND PHONE I BOUGHT FOR HER TO HER LOVER.

She told me she missed me and loved me, ON THE SAME DAY I FOUND PICTURES OF HER AT A FRIEND'S WEDDING WITH HER LOVER.

On her birthday she said she was so lonely and wished I was there and send me pictures of herself alone at her birthday party, and I FOUND PICTURES OF HER WITH HER LOVER AT THE SAME PARTY HAPPY AS A CLAM.

When she found out she was pregnant and said we should engage quickly I sent extra money for arrangements and doctors visits, ONLY TO FIND VACATION PHOTOS OF HER WITH HER LOVER 2 WEEKS BEFORE OUR ENGAGEMENT PARTY.

I flew home with $10,000 USD less in my bank account, only to find PHOTOS OF HER BACK WITH HER LOVER 5 DAYS LATER.

One month later she was depressed from her 5 months pregnancy. Her family said she just missed me an love me so much could I send money for her to stay a nice hotel for her prenatal care. Yes of course I did. I FOUND PICTURES OF HER IN BED WITH HER LOVER NAKED AND PICTURES OF HIM RUNNING AROUND THE HOTEL ROOM IN HIS UNDERWEAR.

Her family asked for money to help a relative fly with her only to FIND PICTURES AT THE DAMN AIRPORT SAYING GOODBYE TO HER LOVER.

From the very first day in the USA SHE WAS EMAILING LOVE LETTERS FROM HER BROKEN HEART TO HER LOVER (YES SHE EVEN LIED TO HIM TOO)(IMAGINE THE LOOK ON HIS FACE WHEN SHE SAID "I'M PREGNANT, AND YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!")

On the fourth day of marriage she put up a picture of herself in a nice shirt my mother gave her, ONLY TO FIND THE VERY SAME PHOTO POSED TOPLESS ON THE SAME DAY IN THE SAME PART OF THE HOUSE SHE SENT TO HER LOVER. Oh...AND 8 MONTHS PREGNANT!!!

And...SPREAD VAGINAL PHOTOS WHILE 8 MONTHS PREGNANT SENT TO HER LOVER....FROM OUR MARITAL BED!!!!!

I confronted my wife without curse words and said we are having a baby together and we are married. You can go home and take the child, or you can stop this nonsense and have a wonderful family. She said she would stop and "learn to love me." She lied. She lied to me everyday for 6 months. I never hit her. I never called her a name. She was free to come and go from the house. She had over $1000 in cash I gave her without question of her use of it. She didn't run away. But she did email her best friend and say "I WILL GET MY GREEN CARD, I WILL MOVE AWAY, TAKE THE BABY, AND HE WILL HAVE TO SUPPORT ME FOR 18 YEARS"

So people of visa journey, I don't ask for sympathy, and I don't want any darn "sorry verysadguy" pandering nonsense. I am here for advice, good counsel, and information. I AM A VICTIM. Don't anyone on here ever call me selfish or abusive. I am not even bitter. I am ANGRY. I am a victim of a crime. The crime of fraud.

Thanks to all who are in my corner for the fight of my sweet, funny, playful, cuddly, loving, healthy, smart, beautiful daughter's future.

Villanelle · January 26, 2013

As I understand it, your wife came on a K1 filed for AOS- you separated and she has now filed a VAWA claim to obtain the GC on her own. Am I correct so far?

Have you read the adjudicators manuals? Im only asking because your post (2 posts up actually)in it you seem to be disappointed that your evidence is having limited impact. Do you understand the type of evidence that will be considered and the type of evidence that is going to be considered 'bitter ex'?

The problem I see with your claim of fraud is that her lover is in her home country is he not? So if I was the adjudicator on your case- please convince me; your fiance has a lover in her country, how is marrying you for immigration benefits and coming to the US and leaving her lover beneficial? Are you suggesting this was a plan between her and her lover? to find an American man she could marry/obtain status through/divorce and then bring him over? Do you have proof of such? I mean it would be one thing if her lover was in the US and she was trying to get here, but he wasnt. So do you have proof of a plan they devised together to scam you? Probably not. Is all her family in the US? What exactly is the reason she needed a GC so badly? (things to think about if youre the adjudicator considering if someone committed fraud)

so then this just a case of her being unfaithful to you prior to the marriage and then during the marriage as well. Unfortunately its not going to be ruled as fraud unless USCIS determines that her sole motivation in marrying you was to obtain benefits. Obviously shes not going to admit she did. Like I said, she has things on her side. She left a lover behind, she left her family behind. If she swears up and down she married you with good intentions and not for benefits, its up to whomevers reviewing it to determine if shes telling the truth based on all the surrounding factors.

As for the 'flaws' in the VAWA system. I understand you feel the system has the potential for fraud to occur as someone could exploit it by claiming abuse- but theres nothing that can be done about that. People that wish to scam and defraud the system will always find a way. Fraud doesnt occur in VAWA because of how the system is set up. Fraud occurs because the alien falsely goes to a dr and invents symptoms they dont have, or reports abuse that never occurred. USCIS accepts licensed Drs statements as sufficient proof as they should. The Dr is qualified to make that assesment, VAWA adjudicators are not. Congress found that there was a need to spell out that victims are entitled to special considerations. When adjudicating applications INS officers are aware of and operate in accord with the views of Congress. Other issues they keep in mind when adjudicating a battering or extreme cruelty application include:

·Persons who have been subjected to such treatment may have difficulty in discussing their experiences. While it is almost always necessary to discuss the abusive events with the applicant, such discussions should be carried on in a professional manner which does not further abuse the applicant by forcing him or her to unnecessarily re-live abusive episodes.

·Police reports and hospital records can be key documents in establishing that battering or extreme cruelty existed, but not all cases of abuse contain these items. Officers must be prepared to accept and evaluate other, less traditional, forms of documentation. Conversely, in the worst marriage fraud cases it is not unheard of for evidence of abuse or battering to be fabricated (someone who is willing to commit marriage fraud would not be unwilling to file a false police report).

verysadguy · January 28, 2013

Very good points and well taken thank you.

She plotted to commit adultery upon her return to Vietnam.

She had her lover's bank account number.

She told her best friend she was going to get her green card, leave me, and get me for 18 years of child support (a plan she had in place prior to the baby even being born)

I'm sure she was distraught/depressed because she left her lover behind.

I'm sure she was distraught/depressed because I could legally and peacefully make her leave our marital home and her child behind when I served divorce.

I'm also very sure she was distraught/depressed because she didn't have her green card or any paper work in progress when I made her leave. Her initial i-485 was rejected, but she lied to federal agents and said I was trying to control her by not filing her papers and claimed I lied. However, she signed the forms and I did indeed send them all in, and they were rejected and sent back to us a fact she also knew. Lying to federal agents? Not a great idea.

She also filed a false claim of human trafficking based on her lies to her non-profit sponsor.

You can be sure she is lying up a storm to her "doctor" too. It would be hard to imagine a person could get a VAWA approved with this level of BS, but I'm sure it has happened.

As for evidence, I am sure I look like the bitter ex and the looking for retribution ex, but I also sent in real evidence of her behind my back nonsense like pornography, bank account numbers, discussion of getting the green card and running, emails from her family (many here and many back in the homeland) absolutely contradicting the affidavits they sent in, and being cleared of human trafficking.

Look, one doesn't falsely accuse someone of a major international crime and just walk away from that. Please.

I appreciate your expertise and views. I'm our nearly $100,000 on this scam.

I would think somehow in her twisted mind she thought she could learn to love me, but the fact that she called her lover in Vietnam every single day for 6 months after she got to the USA....I'll call MAJOR BS ON THAT.