Fiance' was cheating while PREGNANT

[verysadguy 170]

Divorce going through now.

Not sure about custody but baby is safe with me.

Mom never even calls.

Hoping for VAWA to make the right decision and send this crazy woman home.

Darnell?

SandraNJ?

I need help here please.

[Sandra G. 5,047]

Once you established de facto parent standing I think you should start considering a termination of biological mother’s rights huh? .You need a family lawyer to help you.

Edited October 25, 2012 by sandranj

[verysadguy 170]

Once you established de facto parent standing I think you should start considering a termination of biological mother’s rights huh? .You need a family lawyer to help you.

Yes, I thought about that, but she is fighting now for custody because she wants more money. She also threatened with her boyfriend to get primary physical custody back. But I have to laugh, she hasn't seen the baby for 4 months and only called once to even check on her.

I just hope USCIS makes the right decision on the VAWA and the benefits fraud. She doesn't deserve LPR status.

I will send more information to them when I have the final divorce decree. Still waiting for Darnell's check list! Thanks sandranj

[Sandra G. 5,047]

verysadguy keep in mind that Vawa unit does not try to deport or remove the self petitioner from the United States after the Vawa petition denial,if the individual wasn't in removal proceedings before of course.

[verysadguy 170]

verysadguy keep in mind that Vawa unit does not try to deport or remove the self petitioner from the United States after the Vawa petition denial,if the individual wasn't in removal proceedings before of course.

Yes, I know. Even if she gets VAWA she could still have benefits fraud and not get LPR. I'm hoping with all her lies she gets a P6C from CIS and then put in to removal proceeding. I think VAWA unit will not even get to her case for another 6 months.

Now I think she might be pregnant with her new USC lover. This case is SO VERY CRAZY. USCIS is too slow!!!

[hope2018 25]

Yes, I know. Even if she gets VAWA she could still have benefits fraud and not get LPR. I'm hoping with all her lies she gets a P6C from CIS and then put in to removal proceeding. I think VAWA unit will not even get to her case for another 6 months.

Now I think she might be pregnant with her new USC lover. This case is SO VERY CRAZY. USCIS is too slow!!!

Your story is very sad. You must be very heartbroken and angry at this time. I am a Vietnamese woman and I think what your wife has done to you is unacceptable. Most Viet women are very loyal and value family, but unfortunately your wife isn't. You might hate all the Vietnamese women now, but you should calm down and think about a few things:

1. Your wife might be able to get the green card because she married to you and have YOUR BABY. If you put aside the fact that you sponsored your wife to the US and think like this : You have a US fiancee, she is pregnant with you but still in love with her ex. She wants her baby to be with the biological dad so she got married to you and hoped she could forget about her ex, but the love for ex-boyfriend is still too strong and husband is working all the time. She is lonely and cheat. This situation is not new, many women do it regardless of race. If this was the case, what would you do? I know you feel very upset because the process of sponsoring someone from another is expensive, long, and tiring, but look at a positive side of it, you have an amazing child from this marriage. The child is priceless, normal people would not trade their own child for a billion dollars.

2. You are upset that your wife does not care and not even call to see how your baby doing. I don't know how old is your daughter, but have you ever thought of your wife being depressed? No mother in their right mind can ignore her baby. Up to 60% of women experience "baby blues" - a mild depression after giving birth to a child. Your wife is in a new country and new culture, it adds up to her already stressful mind. She is not allowed to stay at your house and you were going to send her home. Do you know if your wife coming back to Vietnam, she has no way to survive all the gossips and stigma by people. She is cheating her husband and husband sent her back home, it is a great shame over there and those kind of women are very disrespectful. People already look down on her for marrying someone out of the country. The same old reason, people already think she married to a foreigner guy to escape poverty. I am sure those things were on her mind and she decided to not coming home. Coming home also mean she will never be able to see her daughter. She is staying in US illegal now, no one to rely on, and have to fight for AOS, all of this can lead to major depression that cause her not to have any energy left to care for her baby. Some women neglect their baby or even kill the baby if they experience major postpartum depression. I don't say she has depression because I don't know the exact situation and there is always 2 sides of a story, but if this is the case, your wife needs help.

3. If your wife does get her GC, you should pretend to be nice and help her get US citizenship as well because if she does not want to work and depend on welfare, you will have to pay all because you signed affidavit of support. I know this is unfair and ridiculous but I do have a friend that married a Filipino woman and experienced similar situation like you. His wife left and had several boyfriends. She got surgery, and all the bills coming back to him even after they are divorced.

You are unlucky to meet a bad Vietnamese woman, but that does not mean Vietnamese women are scammers. Stereotype is not good. There are so many people married to Vietnamese woman and live very happy together.

No matter how much you hate your wife, she is still your daughter's biological mother. Only psychiatrist and qualified mental health specialists can make a diagnosis if your wife is sociopath or harmful to your baby, otherwise she is still a mother of your child.

I do believe in karma, your wife will get what she deserves later in life. I hope you can find a good lawyer to protect your benefits and to protect you from being further taken advantaged. I would suggest you find a lawyer for this reason only and forget about fighting to send your wife back home because the USCIS officers have their own reasoning, they look at the situation from an objective manner and not from your side or your wife's side. They might decide your wife are eligible for AOS because she has a baby with you, that is a strongest evidence for a bona fide marriage. Wives/ husbands in some marriage do cheat, it is not only in this case, and not only in VIETNAMESE WOMEN. If you try to sue your wife to get her back home and lost, you will waste a lot of money and time on someone that does not even worth it. Move on with your life, find a better wife and be happy.

[Sandra G. 5,047]

Family741 you are wrong in several things here. First of all he WON'T BE on the hook regarding the affidavit of support because her AOS was denied in the past and now she is applying based in Vawa Law, and she doesn't need a sponsor anymore, then he has no responsibility regarding the old form I-864 filed ok.

Second mistake.USCIS does not approve green card just because an alien had an american child, the alien must be married to a US Citizen or GC holder or have a Vawa approved". She has no grounds to stay in the USA just based on her child being american.Who told you that is a strong evidence for a bona fide marriage having a child? Having a child it means she had sex with him! Immigration wants to see more than that, they ask for COMMINGLING FINANCES and proof of COMMUNE RESIDENCE as well. We have here in the VJ some members that had their cases of Vawa denied, and those women mothered american children.

She cannot have her Vawa approved just based in bonafide marriage, she has to prove that she was subjected to extreme cruelty or domestic violence.I agree with verysadguy. I hope and I pray that USCIS deport her.I know his case very well. We don't need scammers walking our streets.

I don't see how she could be depressed, she left her husband to be with her lover. She wasn't abused or threatened by her husband, she chose to live her child behind to be with her lover!!!. I can understand if an woman has to give up a child for adoption because of teen pregnancy or poverty, but to leave a child behind to be with a lover? just a scumbag and evil woman act like her.

Edited December 6, 2012 by sandranj

[hope2018 25]

Family741 you are wrong in several things here. First of all he WON'T BE on the hook regarding the affidavit of support because her AOS was denied in the past and now she is applying based in Vawa Law, and she doesn't need a sponsor anymore, then he has no responsibility regarding the old form I-864 filed ok.

Second mistake.USCIS does not approve green card just because an alien had an american child, the alien must be married to a US Citizen or GC holder or have a Vawa approved". She has no grounds to stay in the USA just based on her child being american.Who told you that is a strong evidence for a bona fide marriage having a child? Having a child it means she had sex with him! Immigration wants to see more than that, they ask for COMMINGLING FINANCES and proof of COMMUNE RESIDENCE as well. We have here in the VJ some members that had their cases of Vawa denied, and those women mothered american children.

She cannot have her Vawa approved just based in bonafide marriage, she has to prove that she was subjected to extreme cruelty or domestic violence.I agree with verysadguy. I hope and I pray that USCIS deport her.I know his case very well. We don't need scammers walking our streets.

I don't see how she could be depressed, she left her husband to be with her lover. She wasn't abused or threatened by her husband, she chose to live her child behind to be with her lover!!!. I can understand if an woman has to give up a child for adoption because of teen pregnancy or poverty, but to leave a child behind to be with a lover? just a scumbag and evil woman act like her.

I am sorry, I did not know her AOS were denied, my bad for reading only his first post and some responses and reply with mixed emotions about comments that make assumptions about the Vietnamese culture that are so wrong and stereotyping. Thank for the correction. I was just say "IF" like in my friend's case and was not intend to give any legal advice. If everything you said were true, I would feel relieve and happy for verysadguy. My point was trying to say not to fight to deport her if he is not sure he is going to win because it will waste his time and money, but if you know his case well and think he will win, go for it.

It is very hard for me to understand how a mother does not care about her child. She is a horrible wife, sound more like she was a prostitute to not feel embarrassed or care about sending her self naked photos to men, but I won't judge if she loves her baby or not because I am not her. Maybe she has some kind of mental issues to act so selfish and crazy ( for example, narcissistic personality disorder?) it bothers me a lot after I read this case. Normal people won't hurt people and have no remorse. A beautiful family with nice husband and an amazing child is the dream of million of women, it is so sad that she got a wonderful family and chose to destroy it. I feel really sorry for verysadguy. I hope he is finding a counselor or a trusted family or friend to talk to ease his emotional pain and focus more on the baby. Anyway, whatever he choose to do, I will pray for him, but forgive will help him happier.

[verysadguy 170]

I am sorry, I did not know her AOS were denied, my bad for reading only his first post and some responses and reply with mixed emotions about comments that make assumptions about the Vietnamese culture that are so wrong and stereotyping. Thank for the correction. I was just say "IF" like in my friend's case and was not intend to give any legal advice. If everything you said were true, I would feel relieve and happy for verysadguy. My point was trying to say not to fight to deport her if he is not sure he is going to win because it will waste his time and money, but if you know his case well and think he will win, go for it.

It is very hard for me to understand how a mother does not care about her child. She is a horrible wife, sound more like she was a prostitute to not feel embarrassed or care about sending her self naked photos to men, but I won't judge if she loves her baby or not because I am not her. Maybe she has some kind of mental issues to act so selfish and crazy ( for example, narcissistic personality disorder?) it bothers me a lot after I read this case. Normal people won't hurt people and have no remorse. A beautiful family with nice husband and an amazing child is the dream of million of women, it is so sad that she got a wonderful family and chose to destroy it. I feel really sorry for verysadguy. I hope he is finding a counselor or a trusted family or friend to talk to ease his emotional pain and focus more on the baby. Anyway, whatever he choose to do, I will pray for him, but forgive will help him happier.

Thank you for understanding and sandranj is very correct. In my profession I work with ICE, FBI, Border Patrol yet I can find out nothing about my wife's VAWA. My wife was proven to lie to her parents, her aunts and uncles, her best friend, her lover in Vietnam, the nuns at her Catholic charity, her lawyer, ICE agents, and of course me. All out of desperation to stay in America. We had a beautiful home, money, my family to help her and great neighbors and friends yet my wife did porno, webcam sex, and sent love letters to her lover in Vietnam from the very first day she came to the USA and never stopped communicating with him for 6 months even though we had THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BABY YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. She must have a personality disorder like you say. I don't stereotype Viet women, but I do stereotype romance scam girls and immigration fraud. It is always the same. I LOVE YOU they say to your face, but all their actions are of a con artist. Lovers behind your back, bank account numbers, lies, deception, fake claims of abuse and so on. I did go to counseling. I contact numerous congressmen and law enforcement agencies.

The worst thing that can happen to any USC is to be the victim of a false VAWA claim. Trust me. You will lose sleep, have difficulty eating, cannot enjoy life, worry, cry, be frustrated with a slow justice system, be told you will lose your case anyways etc.

I only have one consolation the unconditional love of a small child who is so wonderful and pure. Maybe the "mother" has a biological right, and the child has a right to know the birth parent, but can a mentally ill and compulsive lying mother truly be a good parent I ask you? I think not.

I am out over $80,000 USD already and fast approaching $100,000. But I will fight for the safety of my child's future to the last penny I assure you. That is love.

[hope2018 25]

Thank you for understanding and sandranj is very correct. In my profession I work with ICE, FBI, Border Patrol yet I can find out nothing about my wife's VAWA. My wife was proven to lie to her parents, her aunts and uncles, her best friend, her lover in Vietnam, the nuns at her Catholic charity, her lawyer, ICE agents, and of course me. All out of desperation to stay in America. We had a beautiful home, money, my family to help her and great neighbors and friends yet my wife did porno, webcam sex, and sent love letters to her lover in Vietnam from the very first day she came to the USA and never stopped communicating with him for 6 months even though we had THE MOST BEAUTIFUL BABY YOU HAVE EVER SEEN. She must have a personality disorder like you say. I don't stereotype Viet women, but I do stereotype romance scam girls and immigration fraud. It is always the same. I LOVE YOU they say to your face, but all their actions are of a con artist. Lovers behind your back, bank account numbers, lies, deception, fake claims of abuse and so on. I did go to counseling. I contact numerous congressmen and law enforcement agencies.

The worst thing that can happen to any USC is to be the victim of a false VAWA claim. Trust me. You will lose sleep, have difficulty eating, cannot enjoy life, worry, cry, be frustrated with a slow justice system, be told you will lose your case anyways etc.

I only have one consolation the unconditional love of a small child who is so wonderful and pure. Maybe the "mother" has a biological right, and the child has a right to know the birth parent, but can a mentally ill and compulsive lying mother truly be a good parent I ask you? I think not.

I am out over $80,000 USD already and fast approaching $100,000. But I will fight for the safety of my child's future to the last penny I assure you. That is love.

I am so sorry I am praying for you to not have to deal with this mess anymore and meet a nice woman to start a true happy family someday. Counseling does help you but you have to wait for every appointment to express your feelings, I hope you also talk to your family member that you trust the most. It is Ok to call them and cry. When you feel stress or worry, go exercise. Eat healthy and exercise to let your body have the energy to deal with stress. If you cannot sleep, take a benadryl to sleep. Sleep deprivation is terrible for you. There are many relaxation techniques that you should try such as deep breathing, guided imagery, progressive muscle relaxation (you can google how to do it, it is very easy to learn), or meditation. When I was in the worse time of my life, I coped by reading mantra every night, worked for me.

Your baby can feel stress if you are stress. Babies are very sensitive. They require a lot of attention and care from caregiver. I hope no matter what are the obstacles on your way, you would still be strong and keep positive thinking. Money can always be earned back, the most important thing is your health and your baby, look at things from different perspectives to find out which view of the problem would ease your pain. You are never alone, there are always people out there will help you if you are willing to open up your concerns. Wish all the best for you and your baby.

[verysadguy 170]

Recently found some new evidence and sent that to VAWA unit via FEDEX with her A# attached as well as a thorough explanation. Also sent in photos dated of her appearing totally happy leading up to the day that I served divorce papers. Emotional abuse? Hogwash.

My guess is she filed her VAWA sometime in late 2011 or possibly January 2012. I have confirmation her case is getting adjudicated at a "higher level" per an HSI agent and my congressman. Is there a higher authority than VAWA?

In the meantime I am just waiting patiently thinking it might be a few more months before a decision is made. In the meantime she hasn't attempted to see the baby, now a sweet little toddler, since early summer. Actions speak louder than words.

[Ban Hammer 13,337]

3. If your wife does get her GC, you should pretend to be nice and help her get US citizenship as well because if she does not want to work and depend on welfare, you will have to pay all because you signed affidavit of support.

do not ever again advise a member to misrepresent the facts

By way of example, and not as a limitation, you agree that when using the Service, you will not: Condone or instruct, either directly or indirectly, others on how to commit fraudulent or illegal immigration activities in any way, shape, manner or method.

[verysadguy 170]

do not ever again advise a member to misrepresent the facts

First of all, I would never "misrepresent."

I am not liable for an affidavit of support. I filed my financials for the k-1 with an I-134, but I never filled out an I-864 because I caught her cheating after one week of marriage, and she was only in the USA for about 2 weeks at that point. I immediately sent in a signed letter to USCIS withdrawing support. As long as she stayed with me I continued to take very good care of her with food, clothes, gifts etc. I never called her names, used foul language with her, or hit her.

However, to act nice to a lying fraudster who has taken no interest in her child other than as a vehicle for monetary reward beyond the tens of thousands she has already ripped me off for??? That would be foolish. Like letting a fox in a hen house. These types of people will take any advantage of weakness or trust. My EX is a con artist and a swindler. If she ever shows up (and it has been more than 6 months, not so much as a phone call or a request for a video chat with her child) to see our daughter I will simply be cordial and cautious.

[verysadguy 170]

Well so sorry to hear your case story. Hope you find your true love deserving your love someday soon.

Thanks. I have true love. My daughter. I am living my life for her. She is happy and healthy and blessed, as long as her sociopathic mother has a limited role in her daily life I think we will be ok.

Can you imagine a mother who's boundaries allowed sex while engaged pregnant with another man, and emailed self-made pornography while married and pregnant, and took pictures of the baby naked and emailed them overseas for God only knows what purposes, as a role model for a child? And she is a proven fraud and sociopathic liar on top of it all? Heaven help me...please.

[lierre 224]

Verysadguy, I have only read this thread now.

I am very sorry for what happened to you. i really hope the outcomes will all be in your favor.

Your baby does not deserve such a liar and manipulator to be his/her mother.