Just wondering.... (work permit)

[charnockp2 0]

I'm a guy who moved to the US in December last year to be with my fiancee, now wife. For those who have done the same (K-1) I just wanted to know...

While waiting for your EAD or green card in order to be able to work, what did you do? I mean, how did you spend your time? Is there anything I can do, or should be doing?

Because the waiting is driving me crazy! In a few weeks I won't have worked for 5 months, though I have been doing voluntary stuff here. But not only that, I can tell that my wife, who is unhappy in her current job, is beginning to resent me for the fact that I don't have to work. Well not that I don't have to, I just can't.

I'm bored and not appreciating the stress that this situation is putting on us.

Can anyone give me any advice?

[Operator 1,927]

Are you job hunting?

My wife's EAD took 61 days. Depending on your career level and profession you may possibly find a company that is willing to make a commitment to you know and you begin working when you get your card.

Also, have dinner ready for her when she gets home, that should stave off some of the resentment.

[Inky 1,110]

Take up some extra hobbys, join a gym and work out extra days or join some fun classes at the gym, good way to meet some people too.

Make sure the house is extra clean when ur spouse gets home. Do some nice little things / surprises for when she comes home.

Polish up a resume so that its ready for when you go out to look for jobs.

[charnockp2 0]

Take up some extra hobbys, join a gym and work out extra days or join some fun classes at the gym, good way to meet some people too.

Make sure the house is extra clean when ur spouse gets home. Do some nice little things / surprises for when she comes home.

Polish up a resume so that its ready for when you go out to look for jobs.

Yeah yeah, I do almost all the housework and cooking just so I don't feel quite so bad as I already do :-)

I'm at the gym pretty much everyday and I volunteer 3 times a week, and the resume is up to date! So I'm trying to keep busy.

I think I'm just sick of spending money and not making anything, or not being useful in any way if you get me?

Wish there was a go faster button :-)

I haven't yet but I've been thinking about applying for jobs anyway. My concern is that they show interest, but then are like Oh, you're not permitted to work? See ya, we need someone now. Like, I don't wanna blow my chance at a company I really want to work for.

[Inky 1,110]

Yeah yeah, I do almost all the housework and cooking just so I don't feel quite so bad as I already do :-)

I'm at the gym pretty much everyday and I volunteer 3 times a week, and the resume is up to date! So I'm trying to keep busy.

I think I'm just sick of spending money and not making anything, or not being useful in any way if you get me?

Wish there was a go faster button :-)

I haven't yet but I've been thinking about applying for jobs anyway. My concern is that they show interest, but then are like Oh, you're not permitted to work? See ya, we need someone now. Like, I don't wanna blow my chance at a company I really want to work for.

I get you and it seems you do all my ideas that I do too LOL - I'm a house wife and i still feel guilty that he brings money in then I go spend it on grocerys etc.

( i had a job for a while, it took me 1.5 years to get it and it ended up just not working out, that makes me feel even worse about the money issue )

I do a lot of the yard work and gardening too to spend time doing things I like, also if my neighbor is having trouble mowing the lawn or getting someone to help mow the lawn ill help them out ( we have an elderly neighbor who sometimes just doesn't have the energy to upkeep their yard. )

[Julie&Chris 1]

I know EXACTLY how you feel I am currently 8 months pregnant so can't do anything anyway BUT sometimes I feel like such a burden.

My husband works 5/6 days a week, 10-12 hour shifts each time so I try my best to do what I can around the house...which he doesn't like at all because I AM pregnant.

But I am the type of person who gets bored very easily and need to be doing something with my brain.

I think that they should allow us to work as soon as we marry our significant other. We already have to pay all the money for the K-1 then they expect us to pay a lot more for AOS when there is only 1 person working. I know this is just the rules but we all need to vent sometimes!!

I hope everything works out for you guys...just stick in there and try to remember the end result! You have came this far already and it may seem like a long time but it will all sort itself out eventually.

[Lainie B 465]

I just went through it myself and it is not fun. I had 4 months of nothing to do, and I nearly went crazy. It can be hard on the marriage for the reasons you mentioned. It sounds like you have done well to find things to keep you occupied. For me, a new puppy kept me busy, and Netflix was my friend! I assume you have your SSN already? I spent time applying for jobs and doorknocking for work, and found one that was happy to wait until I had my EAD, so I was able to start three days after the card arrived.

[kcoyclay1 98]

Maybe spending money on the gym right now isn't a great idea unless its super cheap. She might be resenting that she's paying for it. I know this sounds bad but you can't be expected to work without a permit. It's unreasonable to resent you because she is unfulfilled in her job. Is it that she wants to quit while you work? How would your getting a job alleviate the stress she is feeling at work? You won't be able to change that just by working. It seems as if she wants you to take some off load by trading places. She may also be feeling as if she has too many responsibilities. In this process this should be expected and planned for. However, an unhappy job situation and a spouse not able to work can put a damper on good intentions and plans. Talk with her. Find out what's going on and how she thinks you can help as you wait on your EAD. Console her and let her know how much you appreciate her for being so supportive and that you admire her tenacity and strength. Get her a postcard that expresses your love and recognition of her hard work. Candle light her dinner tonight and speak from your heart.

This too shall past. All the best.

Edited March 19, 2012 by kcoyclay1

[suntrustt 1]

I am in the same position as you also! I understand how you feel completely... Feeling useless, waiting around and wishing there was something to do at times but as Julie said you came this far! We made this many sacrifices already not much that longer and you will be back in work again! For now keep busy the best you can, even going for walks helps me sometimes!

[Tinchen_ 21]

im glad im not the only one who has the im bored issue. and thanks to charnockp2 for starting the conversation. i know just to well how you all feel. my fiance,we getting married on monday, is working like crazy since we just have his income. i do my best to keep the house clean and wash his clothes and cook. but i really miss working having co workers and a daily routine. cuz everyday is the question what im going to do today.i dont wanna use the car as much because gas is getting so high and when i go out i end up spending money.

im lucky that we have a lil gym in the apt. complex and a pool.so i go and work out there. but im thinking i have to go like 3more months until i get my working permit what can i do.

my fiance is great when he has a day off he makes sure to do fun things with me and get me out and makes couple dates with his co workers so i meet new people and can make my friends..

but what can i do for the daily routine ???