Gc holder, but husband screwed around

[love fil-am 1]

Hello there! I guess this story of mine u guys jave read it over and over again in this site. But i need to share mine also and hoping u guys can lenlighten me up.

Me and my husband been married for 7 mos now, and i am a conditional GC holder now.

I caught my husband screwing around, and he admitted it to me last february. But he ask for forgiveness and he said it wont happen again. So i forgave him cos I do love him. And from then on i became so nosy and paranoid with everything he does, from his fon to his email. One time, my husband left the computer without signing out from his yahoo email, and i was able to read all thier msgs to each other. So out of madness, i forwarded all thier exchange emails to my email account, thinking i will slap him with it. And so I did. But i didnt slap him but i angrily told him that i know whats going on. Things went ugly, at first we were just arguing then i found my arm broken cos my husband hit me so hard. So i went to the hospital and got it treated. Yes my left elbow got fractured according to my xray and doctor. Still I found the heart to forgive my husband. Then one time, my husband left his fon, so nosyness worked again and scrolled his fon then found out that my husband was still screwing around. When he found out that I saw his msgs, things went ugly again then he beat me up and choked me and smashed me on the wall. I tried to fought back for my life by run to the bathroom and call 911. But before i can speak clearly to 911, my husband cut my fon line. So i had to sneak out from the window so i can go to my neighbor to ask for help. Before the police came, my husband was gone from the house already.

I dont think i can still go on and on with the abuse and with my marriage. And i need your advice on how to do things interms of my immigration status.

Thank you all!

[UK_Fan 192]

file for a divorce and file for VAWA.. looks like you have more than enough evidence. sorry about your luck.

Edited March 13, 2012 by Mrs.Brock

[Deputy Purple 1,294]

file for a divorce and file for VAWA.. looks like you have more than enough evidence. sorry about your luck.

Wrong advice...

She already has her Conditional Greencard, no VAWA needed.

OP, decide if you want to remain in the US or return home. Leave him, go to Catholic Charities they'll help you find shelter and legal counsel to handle your divorce.

[Tim/Mav 305]

Hello there! I guess this story of mine u guys jave read it over and over again in this site. But i need to share mine also and hoping u guys can lenlighten me up.

Me and my husband been married for 7 mos now, and i am a conditional GC holder now.

I caught my husband screwing around, and he admitted it to me last february. But he ask for forgiveness and he said it wont happen again. So i forgave him cos I do love him. And from then on i became so nosy and paranoid with everything he does, from his fon to his email. One time, my husband left the computer without signing out from his yahoo email, and i was able to read all thier msgs to each other. So out of madness, i forwarded all thier exchange emails to my email account, thinking i will slap him with it. And so I did. But i didnt slap him but i angrily told him that i know whats going on. Things went ugly, at first we were just arguing then i found my arm broken cos my husband hit me so hard. So i went to the hospital and got it treated. Yes my left elbow got fractured according to my xray and doctor. Still I found the heart to forgive my husband. Then one time, my husband left his fon, so nosyness worked again and scrolled his fon then found out that my husband was still screwing around. When he found out that I saw his msgs, things went ugly again then he beat me up and choked me and smashed me on the wall. I tried to fought back for my life by run to the bathroom and call 911. But before i can speak clearly to 911, my husband cut my fon line. So i had to sneak out from the window so i can go to my neighbor to ask for help. Before the police came, my husband was gone from the house already.

I dont think i can still go on and on with the abuse and with my marriage. And i need your advice on how to do things interms of my immigration status.

Thank you all!

I'll let a more qualified Member give you advice on Immigration Status in the Event of Spousal Abuse.

But, I would say: You seen another side of your husbands charactor.

Your new to the US and Abuse is taken seriously. These are things to consider in the event/or posible future events to protect your Status if posible;

There is a 911 Call, that is recorded with your voice. There is a Doctors Report how the injury occurred. There is a Police Report of the incident. .........................

Did they take pictures. Did they ask you if you wanted to press charges. Did they issue a warrent for his arrest. (Pictures: You mentioned choking which leads to brusing)

In cases like this: It is the "Abuser" that is asked to leave the home. Did they ask you if you wanted to File Charges. Did they ask you if you wish a Restraining Order.

I'm sorry to hear what happened. I hate Abuse. He did 2 things that Violated your marridge. Cheating and Bodily Harm to you.

Your choice. Good Luck.

Edited March 13, 2012 by Tim/Mav

[love fil-am 1]

It was reported to the police, but i didnt press charges yet.. But police said i can press charges anytime i may want. But police said if I press charges, my husband will face DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ASSAULT and FELONY, And for that he might lose his Job. And i dont know how to do things yet too.

[Wally G! 58]

It was reported to the police, but i didnt press charges yet.. But police said i can press charges anytime i may want. But police said if I press charges, my husband will face DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, ASSAULT and FELONY, And for that he might lose his Job. And i dont know how to do things yet too.

Few questions..

Are you employed?

Do you have a place to stay besides his house?

Do you have friends that can help you with a place to stay or support?

If you have, then press charges. There is a price for actions such as violence. He choose to Assault you. NO MAN SHOULD PUT THERE HANDS ON A WOMEN AND NEITHER SHOULD A WOMEN HIT A MAN. There are consequence to be paid. Here in the United States Domestic Violence is take serious. File for VAWA immediately!!

If he loses his job due to the chooses he made by Assaulting you.. So be it!! Hard lesson learned not to put his hands on women.

Love in nurturing and caring. Arguments can be worked out. Misunderstandings can be figured out to be understood. Cheating and Violence only leads to the door and the end. You gave him chances and he has returned the favor by continuing to cheat and then beat on you.

Take it from a man telling you this. Leave and leave fast.. People like that need therapy, jail and losses to learn and become a upstanding representative of himself. Right now he needs a hard lesson.

I pray for you and pray that you are blessed. GOD is watch over you. Help yourself by getting out now..

GOD Bless You!!!

[Leatherneck 693]

Listen, your husband has demonstrated twice now that he'll do violence to you and obviously has no problems with inflicting bodily injury. Seek help from a women's shelter, get out of that environment now before you end up dead. Catholic Charities was mentioned, look into that.

You've only been married for 7 months, you've suffered a fractured elbow, "...he beat me up and choked me and smashed me on the wall." It's likely you'll be filing to ROC without him -- if you survive his rage, be smart and gather documents to prove you had a bona fide marriage.

Edited March 13, 2012 by Leatherneck

[kcoyclay1 98]

Few questions..

Are you employed?

Do you have a place to stay besides his house?

Do you have friends that can help you with a place to stay or support?

If you have, then press charges. There is a price for actions such as violence. He choose to Assault you. NO MAN SHOULD PUT THERE HANDS ON A WOMEN AND NEITHER SHOULD A WOMEN HIT A MAN. There are consequence to be paid. Here in the United States Domestic Violence is take serious. File for VAWA immediately!!

If he loses his job due to the chooses he made by Assaulting you.. So be it!! Hard lesson learned not to put his hands on women.

Love in nurturing and caring. Arguments can be worked out. Misunderstandings can be figured out to be understood. Cheating and Violence only leads to the door and the end. You gave him chances and he has returned the favor by continuing to cheat and then beat on you.

Take it from a man telling you this. Leave and leave fast.. People like that need therapy, jail and losses to learn and become a upstanding representative of himself. Right now he needs a hard lesson.

I pray for you and pray that you are blessed. GOD is watch over you. Help yourself by getting out now..

GOD Bless You!!!

Your reply moved me. Great advice. She should not accept this and immigration will not send her back because of it.

[james&olya 1,121]

Few questions..

Are you employed?

Do you have a place to stay besides his house?

Do you have friends that can help you with a place to stay or support?

If you have, then press charges. There is a price for actions such as violence. He choose to Assault you. NO MAN SHOULD PUT THERE HANDS ON A WOMEN AND NEITHER SHOULD A WOMEN HIT A MAN. There are consequence to be paid. Here in the United States Domestic Violence is take serious. File for VAWA immediately!!

If he loses his job due to the chooses he made by Assaulting you.. So be it!! Hard lesson learned not to put his hands on women.

Love in nurturing and caring. Arguments can be worked out. Misunderstandings can be figured out to be understood. Cheating and Violence only leads to the door and the end. You gave him chances and he has returned the favor by continuing to cheat and then beat on you.

Take it from a man telling you this. Leave and leave fast.. People like that need therapy, jail and losses to learn and become a upstanding representative of himself. Right now he needs a hard lesson.

I pray for you and pray that you are blessed. GOD is watch over you. Help yourself by getting out now..

GOD Bless You!!!

If she has told the truth there is only one sane answer relative to pressing charges! Of course she presses charges! No amount of money from any job is worth the danger to her life! There are resources available for her to find housing and for the basics she needs.

To the OP. Get out of this marriage now and press charges both to protect yourself as well as any other potential victims! You don't deserve any of this! Yes, you will not get deported as long as you follow the good advice you can find on here. You entered the marriage in good faith so you will be eligible for ROC as a divorced woman.

[Sandra G. 5,070]

Get a restraining order against him, if you don't have a place to stay, look for a shelter for victims of domestic violence. Find right now a psychologist, you need to see a professional asap, because is very clearly that you need help. You were abused so many times and kept forgiving him, and let me tell you something there was nothing great regarding this kind of forgiveness, it just shows a person in complete despair and lost. Love has nothing to do with that. We can't give what we don't have, if you don't love yourself you can't love others!!!period. You need to find help to recognize that you were living an abusive relationship, you need to learn to love yourself and NEVER EVER accept being abused again...not even in the name of love! you need to know my dear that you deserve better!. You will be able to apply for your permanent green card as a battered spouse (victim of domestic violence). I am part of a non profit organization, and we help victims of domestic violence.If you need some help/advices email me

sandrinhacv@hotmail.com

I don't follow all my answers in every post in the VJ, then if you need something please email me ok

Edited March 15, 2012 by sandranj

[Xanax 349]

I am very sure you have gotten sound advice already. I just want to wish you luck and I'm hoping for the very best outcome for you!

[VanessaTony 3,567]

I dont think i can still go on and on with the abuse and with my marriage. And i need your advice on how to do things interms of my immigration status.

Thank you all!

File for divorce, then file for ROC with a divorce waiver.

Remember he doesn't need to support you financially so you will be completely on your own. I'm not trying to scare you I just know that I would return to my home country because living here isn't cheap, and as an immigrant who can't use many benefits available if I lost my job, I'd be pretty screwed financially.

so your choice is:

1. Stay here and retain GC

2. Return to your home country and give up GC.

Up to you.

[kcoyclay1 98]

File for divorce, then file for ROC with a divorce waiver.

Remember he doesn't need to support you financially so you will be completely on your own. I'm not trying to scare you I just know that I would return to my home country because living here isn't cheap, and as an immigrant who can't use many benefits available if I lost my job, I'd be pretty screwed financially.

so your choice is:

1. Stay here and retain GC

2. Return to your home country and give up GC.

Up to you.

According to the affidavit of support, isn't he responsible to support her for 10 years or until she becomes a citizen, whichever is first?

[VanessaTony 3,567]

According to the affidavit of support, isn't he responsible to support her for 10 years or until she becomes a citizen, whichever is first?

No. Even though the form says that, he doesn't actually have to because she isn't a party to the contract. The contract is between him and the government and he needs to pay back the government if she uses means tested benefits, but she's not even eligible for them until she's been an LPR for 5 years.

Some people have successfully sued for support using the form but just as many (and more) have been denied because, as I said before, they're not a party to the contract. So basically she could sue him and hope the judge is one that says he has to, but my personal opinion is it's not fair to the USC to try and hold them to that contract to support the immigrant. To pay back the government yes, but not to support someone who in some cases they've only been married to for a short time. It's completely ridiculous and even standard spousal support wouldn't be like that form seems to be...

Edited March 18, 2012 by Vanessa&Tony

[clueless55 18]

I hope she's OK, and has filed the abuse charges. She needs to do that,he may get some help as a result, and at least, he'll have trouble bringing another Pinay here to abuse.

Document everything. Copies of police reports, medical bills, etc.