change back to my maiden name

[Tommy and Maria 4]

He is your husband now, you are not married to your extended family(meaning he should come first, don't worry what they think). Who cares if they are mad, just because you took his name doesn't mean you are some slave to him or men in general. Understandable that your culture does not do that exact same thing, but who cares,You're not in spain anymore and continuity can and will only strengthen the relationship you have. If you filed that way, just wait until all the paper work is through and wait a while, it'll be okay, God Bless you.

[Sarah B 26]

I do not need to understand nothing (sorry if sounds rude) First of all he IS NOT AMERICAN. He is a US citizen but he is vietnamese. Secondly, this is not the american way because it is not mandatory for their people here in US to adopt the husbands last name. I am no ones property and I am my parents daughter not his parents daughter.

And I do carry documents in different last names because my passport is in my real name and always will be because I am not planing to be come a citizen...ever

So normally when someone has citizenship, they are a citizen of that coutry, meaning your husband is in fact American. It s not mandatory to take his last name, and I never took my husband's. However, now you are in a situation where half of your documents reflect one one and half reflect the other. I would decide together what you would like to do. Whether or not you plan on being a citizen, the fact that you are removing conditions shows that you are living here, so you should do whatever is best for you for your situation here. Good Luck.

[Dave&Roza 748]

Can't she just do the opposite of what most do when she files for ROC--i.e. put her maiden name as the desired last name and then the GC wil lbe issued in her maiden name? After that she could then go and change all other IDs to match the new GC and her passport. I am not up on the whole name change as my wife is keeping her maiden name at least up to citizenship should she get US citiazenship--and the marriage lasts that long (it should we have been dealing with the culture differences like the OP, it is just we talked about the name up front and I do not have a "problem" with her keeping her maiden name. To me it is just a name and does not have any bearing on our relationship).

If that is not an options then you will have to go to court to do a legal name change.

Good luck.

Dave

P.S. You can legally change you name when you apply for US citizenship, but since you have no desire to do so that appears to not be not an option.

[queenofthenile 2]

If you want your name back.. do the paperwork.. it is your right.. However please take alittle time to consider the future.. if you and your husband intend to live in the U.S. and have children- it will make life easier as it is customary for the wife to take the husbands last name.. no it is not required but it is customary.. to others you will naturally be Mrs. (husbands last name) and you will have to correct them. And for some when they see your children have a different last name then you.. it will be assumed that you are divorced. As for your parents.. you passport has you maiden name and will continue to.. so to you family you will always be Mrs. (maiden name) Shakespear has it correct.. a rose by any other name would smell as sweet!

[Seven 24]

Thank you everybody for your posts so far. I am going to research more about what one person suggested about when I do apply for the 10 years Greencard. Regarding my decision of not becoming a Citizen is a personal decision because there is no way I am considered an American (no offense) I love my country and I am proud of it. I never wanted to move to America and there is not one single day of my existence here I don't hate where I am living and think of home. However, I had no other option if I wanted to live with the person I loved. As for kids, we will not have kids so that's not a problem.

I will do it sooner or later whenever the conditions are more favorable and will keep researching about it but I will have my name back everywhere

Thank you again for your advices and good words! They are greatly appreciated

[MIBEN 83]

It is your choice but just consider this, I kept my maiden name initially because I am the one with a professional career at work functions they kept addressing my husband as Mr. Hernandez. This I have to say was very degrading to him and it bothered not just him but me as well. So to make everyone happy I added his last name to the end of mine so my last name is long but we both are happy.

Enjoy....

[Seven 24]

Thank you for your reply MIBEN, but apparently my husband does not have a personal ¨problem¨ with me keeping my last name. His concerned was that he is really paranoid when it comes to immigration or being ¨under the radar¨. I am really interested to see what would happen if for my ROC I would file with my maiden name and attach an explanation why. Will have to call USCIS on that I guess...

[J&N* 68]

I'm sorry but it will look like a red flag to me at ROC. If you never took his last name it's totally OK, but if you dropped it after your AOS was approved, how could it not look like a red flag?

[Seven 24]

I have read that with an explanation it should be ok. And I do have a good explanation. Anyway that should not be a prove of my love for him and as some people say...USCIS does not care about last names. Will call them to confirm though

Edited March 12, 2012 by Seven

[Laser1 63]

I have read that with an explanation it should be ok. And I do have a good explanation. Anyway that should not be a prove of my love for him and as some people say...USCIS does not care about last names. Will call them to confirm though

Changing back to your maiden name would look suspicious when you remove conditions. It would make it look like your marriage has already failed, and that you remain legally married just for immigration. You would then have to supply evidence to prove otherwise.

[Seven 24]

I do not think is really hard to understand I did not want it from the very first for my cultural reasons, tried to but feel ashamed of myself everyday and have a family problem and having to hide it in order to keep a good relationship with me. They should be ok. We do have another proves of our relationship and love.

[TBoneTX 46,167]

how misoginist is to change it

It's not misogynistic to be asked change one's last name.

All completely insane [...]bla bla.

Don't dismiss things so readily. He may know what he's talking about. In some areas, being stopped and having a Hispanic name is a prescription for trouble. If you change your name back, you should carry a copy of your marriage certificate with you at ALL times, especially if you never plan to apply for citizenship.

[Kiv 32]

If you change your name back, you should carry a copy of your marriage certificate with you at ALL times, especially if you never plan to apply for citizenship.

She is required to carry the residence card not the marriage certificate.

OP I understand and respect your reasons, there is a way to do it if you want to but it may be a pain, and it may not be worth it.

Sorry for the spanish out of regional forums but "A la tierra que fueres haz lo que vieres".

Hatting the place you live will hurt only you, you can enjoy and embrace another culture without loosing yours.

In Mexico I keep being my parents daughter plus I added my married name, at the end, that is how is done there.

Here I am my husband's wife, nobody gets hurt.

[Oksana & Max 94]

I have read that with an explanation it should be ok. And I do have a good explanation. Anyway that should not be a prove of my love for him and as some people say...USCIS does not care about last names. Will call them to confirm though

The only explanation I've seen from you is cultural reason. Don't think USCIS will accept that as a good explanation. If you really want to get your maiden name back, just go to the court pay the fees, and let them make this decision. So it will become official.

And in my culture it is actually a standard for the wife to take husbands last name, I was never insisting on it. But my wife wants to do it.

[Udella&Wiz 325]

I see you've mentioned not becoming a citizen otherwise I would ahve suggested changing it back at Naturalization .

Change your name back, you are not obligated to take your husband's name in the US and may women do not. I personally did, but like you I felt somewhat obligated... partially due to comments from my husband, partially societal pressure I suppose. But I am a big girl and made that bad decision entirely myself so I will undo it if I decide to. I'm probably too lazy to bother now