Trying to get Pregnant!

[andrea&roberto 1]

Ok, so this month I get to visit my husband in Brazil! I'm SO excited! Of course all I want to do while I'm there is "you know what." So, of course the question of babies was brought up. Both of us want a child SO badly, like, right now. I'm almost 27, and he'll be 28 Nov. 1, and we want 3-6 kids, so we don't want to wait anymore....(Besides, I'm sick of waiting. I've waited to get married, and now that I have a husband, I'm STILL waiting-for him!) So we talked to others and such, and everybody says, "Wait till he gets here and gets a job" "get to know him first-spend a year together" I hear, "Don't you just want to spend alone time with him...and have fun together?" (See, if i were looking for an eternal playmate, I wouldn't have had to get married! I could've just hung out with my best guy friend forever...but for me, the purpose of getting married was to have a family unit. I would rather spend my time with my husband raising a child, a family, and bonding and growing closer through parenting, than just "playing around." ) Some say that we need to "adjust" to each other...Well, if we "adjust" together, and then I get pregnant...we'll have to RE-adjust all over again! Might as well do it all at once, and know what we have to face for the rest of our lives....I'm a "kill 2 birds with one stone" kinda girl. And I would face any extra challenge or mountain to climb, or extra stress...whatever, ESPECIALLY if it meant raising a family...and my husband would do the same.

What, like that's going to change my mind! CRazy people! If I loved the man enough to marry him, of course I love and know him enough to have a baby! I'm not going to change my mind after a year with him and say, "oops..sorry. never mind." So my mom is like all freaky about everything. She's a very over obsessive, CONTROL freak! She's very condenscending and unsupportive too (especially at first) and NEGATIVE! She freaked when I told her i was getting married to a brazilian. In her mind, she hears, "I'm marrying a poor, third world country man, who hasn't gone to college yet" Well, if she only saw how incredibly he treats me...i'm his QUEEN! Anyway, so, of course I did what I wanted to do, since i'm 26 damn years old! Eventually, though, she came around. She's happy for us, and is excited and supportive (at least for now) for him to come here....she's even co-sponsoring. But she said she wants me to wait to get pregnant until I'm 30!!! Whatever!

So at first, my husband and I thought about it, and decided I would go on birth control, and we would "wait" until he got here, and then try maybe 3-6 months after.....but after praying and the such, that decision really didn't sit well in my heart...nor in my husband's. So we told her, we would wait, becuase I know that is what she wanted to hear-I don't want her to think she paid for some sex fest for me to visit my husband and then get knocked up. And I wasn't "lying," I was only making a decision based off what I know she wanted me to make; instead of making it for myself, or OURSELVES. Which, is, what we realize, is getting pregnant. Because children are wonderful. And the are God-sent. And they are something of "righteous desire" And i'm sick and tired of feeling guilty for wanting them...and having to justify it!

So, we're doing what WE feel is right for us-not what my mom, or the world might think we should do. Becuase after all, if we were to have gotten married by the normal "custom" or by how the world think's we should've, then we never would've married at all...and clearly, what works for one, doesn't work for all! So, the "norms" we break! AND WE'RE SO EXCITED NOW TO TRY TO GET PREGNANT!!! I hope to come home with "extra baggage"

Keep your fingers crossed for us....just out of curiosity though, how many of you women got pregnant easily? (I will be at the highest peak of conception, ovulation while I'm visiting my husband...so hopefully that helps) And if i Do get pregnant, then I'll only be away from husband for the first 2 or 3 months AT THE MOST..then he'll finally be with me, here in the USA. If i do get preganant, I think I'll know around Thanksgiving time.....so, feel free to comment or support in which ever way.

Edited October 5, 2006 by andrea&roberto

[AnaAndDaniel 0]

buena suerte!

and have at it like drunken monkeys.

Daniel

:energetic:

[Joel Halfwassen 0]

Do it! Be brave!

[Arazia 0]

Personally, I think it really is a decision the two of you should make, regardless of what other people think. You're both old enough to make your own decisions. It is never fun to have a parent, friend, relative, whatever telling you that you should or shouldn't start a family. In my own experience, my ex-boyfriend's mother heavily pushed for three years for me and my ex to get married and have kids. We never did, because we really weren't suited for one another, and he didn't want kids. My fiancee' and I have agreed that we want to have at least one child, but not yet. He's still young, and we've still got a while before we are 'firm' financially, so that's the choice we made.

I wish you the best of luck and a *cough* enjoyable time. Hopefully you'll have good news to report soon enough.

[Traviesa 0]

Trust me-if your mom's anything like my mom, the second she hears a grandchild is on the way she will come around and be so happy and excited. Good luck!!

[ya falaha! 0]

My husband and I tried to get pregnant on my last visit but it didn't take. Now I'm very relieved about it. I now want to wait at least a year after he gets here before we start trying. He doesn't love that idea and wants to try right away. I'm taking BC whether he likes it or not. It's my body.

If you guys feel that this is a right time for you and you feel comfortable with your decision I say..go for it! I wish you the best.

[andrea&roberto 1]

Trust me-if your mom's anything like my mom, the second she hears a grandchild is on the way she will come around and be so happy and excited. Good luck!!

I hope so....Becuase in my mind i hear her saying, "Oh that was STUPID! You're so irresponsible. He's not even here. He doesn't even have a job! How are you going to pay for this?! You can barely pay your rent..." etc etc. Though, just to comment on that...I am getting $10,000 in January from my grandparent's trust fund...so, that will totally help us. I work full time as a server, and I have medical insurance too...I don't know how great it is...but it's something! I really hope you're right, and she'll be happy to know she's going to be a grandma...because since I was 18 years old, all I've ever heard is "When are you going to get married so you can have babies and make me a grandma!" Seems a little contradictory now to what she's saying. If she's scared for me, she sure has a really F*ed up way of showing it.

[Traviesa 0]

Just be careful and recognize your limitations. Like as much as I would love to have a baby, there's no way I could survive with a child on my own. So make sure you got the logistics down, and then go for it!

[Mrs. Forgetful 2]

The husband and I are thinking about having one too. Some people tell us not to, but most people ask us when we are having them and to hurry up already. So we decided to let it be in God's hands. I went off BC and we are waiting for God to go *POOF* there's a baby in my tummy. But until then we wait and wait and ooohh and awwwe over all the little kids and babies we see.

Good luck! Have a good time in Brazil!

[andrea&roberto 1]

The husband and I are thinking about having one too. Some people tell us not to, but most people ask us when we are having them and to hurry up already. So we decided to let it be in God's hands. I went off BC and we are waiting for God to go *POOF* there's a baby in my tummy. But until then we wait and wait and ooohh and awwwe over all the little kids and babies we see.

Good luck! Have a good time in Brazil!

haha. that's exactly what we are doing. We're putting it in the Lord's hands. I have total faith that if he blessed us with a baby, he WILL provide a way for us to care for it. It might not be easy, but he WILL provide a way. And i too oooohh and awwwe over babies...and it only reinforces how much i really do want one!!!! AHHH, i'm so giddy inside! Good luck with you too! Birth Control-NO! PROCREATE!!!

[WifeOHunkyJohn 2]

I would say that, you are happily married and deeply in love, and your covenant is with your husband, not your mother. Whether she approves or not is her emotional issue to deal with, not yours. If she longs for a grand child, that's her deal, if she thinks you are wrong in wanting what you and your husband dream for you life, that is also her deal, not yours. Parents are parents and there comes a time we each have to leave and cleave and, for you (and for me), that came when we fell deeply in love and married the men of our dreams. We break away from our parents and become separate people, still respecting them, but not bound by their rules and desires and aspirations for our lives. It is what makes us adults, no matter how much they might tell us we aren't all that good at being grown ups...

I pray that your dreams do come true, and more than that, I pray that it isn't too long before you and your husband are together, raising babies and having the best adventure being married brings. Respect your mother, but respect your husband, and look to him first when it comes to your life together.

I'm learning it, and only because I am still working through it am I more than happy to encourage you to do the same.

[KiKi 0]

Go for it......my husband and I had our daughter on August 9th and she is a blessing!

It only took me ONE cycle to get pregnant and I was 39 years old....so that's pretty darned amazing......

I hope it works out for you....GOOD LUCK!

[andrea&roberto 1]

It is what makes us adults, no matter how much they might tell us we aren't all that good at being grown ups...

Thanks for that comment....because I hear that from my mom all the time.....and although I struggle, I think as most people do, I'm doing the best I can...and all my dreams are coming true in the process. I'm not rich, but I enjoy nice things. Even though there are times when money is so low, and rent over draws the account.....somehow, I always come out of it...and on top.

I don't know what my mother's hold ups are, but I truly believe in the commandment in Genesis 2:24-25

Therefore, shall a man leave his father and his mother,

and shall cleave unto his wife:

and they shall be ONE FLESH.

so clearly, if man must leave his father and mother, also shall WOMAN leave too.....I feel bad for my mom though....her not being able to let go. I can't wait to raise my kids so they learn to REPLACE me one day....to be independent...and think for themselves. and choose for themselves, and LIVE for themselves, and NOT for me.

[AllisonB 0]

Congratulations and good luck!

My husband(also from Brazil) and I found out we were expecting about a month ago, and we certainly hadn't planned it. I'm thrilled about it now, though.

HAVE FUN!

[CarolineM 0]

I can't wait to do the same...but I am with the crew that wants to spend a few years together first. We were apart for so long - we jsut want some time together first.

My best friend got pregnant with her fiance before they were married - they hadn't been together that long. She says she wishes they had had more time together first...but it has to be what's best for YOU

Good luck, have fun...and hopefully we won't be TOO far behind!