Need filipina Advice

[one...two...tree 2,762]

To all those who wish to know her age it is 19.

And she was just 18 when you got to know her. You don't think her age as well as the age difference between you has anything to do with the problems you're experiencing? What convinced you beforehand that in spite of her young age, she was mature and responsible enough to handle marriage?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

What convinced you beforehand that in spite of her young age, she was mature and responsible enough to handle marriage?

Her tight butt and perky chest?

Edited May 3, 2012 by ☼

[heizel anne 3]

I hate lazy people...can't say u've got a wrong move but it seems like she can't stand on her own and not yet ready to start up a family...might be at your age building up family is your priority and providing them in anyway u can...u're wife is in her adolescence or young adult stage is more self centered...if she didn't enjoy her life with being an adolescent or adult age..that's the result of her attitude...in your part its more on patience but question is when to stop...its when u feel u didn't love her anymore or she's being a burden to you.....

[actob99 156]

Her tight butt and perky chest?

Easy Shooter,,,, their are 29 year old's with the same. Age is irrelevant..

[actob99 156]

And she was just 18 when you got to know her. You don't think her age as well as the age difference between you has anything to do with the problems you're experiencing? What convinced you beforehand that in spite of her young age, she was mature and responsible enough to handle marriage?

SO 19 year old's can't get married and will be horrible wives? What's an age gap have to do with it, she is either a spoiled brat at 19 and could be the same at 30.. Some would say, rather get them before the bad habits start!!!!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Easy Shooter,,,, their are 29 year old's with the same. Age is irrelevant..

There are some, but the return is diminishing. Nothing wrong with some tasty young eye candy running around scantily clad, just as there is nothing wrong with savoring a glass of delicately aged wine while enjoying some stinky cheese.

[Dan and Judy 614]

Wow, I just finished reading all the responses. Sorry I had not updated this post. I really never thought it would get so many responses. I checked after first couple of days and most were from other husbands saying to send her back. What I was looking for was true Filipina opinions.

I apologize for posting, cause I'm saying what you don't want to hear, but if I had just lost 3 fingers in a garbage disposal and then somebody says "OK I've got the garbage disposal turned on and I'm about

to stick my hand in to see what's making that noise" I would feel compelled to yell "stop".

Sorry to say the reason I had not responded or had time to read the post was because things got much worse before it got better. Find out the hard way that she actually had some very server mental issues which really escalated out of control. But we were able to identify that she was not just being spoiled but had some real medical and mental issues going on. Although clearly a little spoiled also, but we were able to get her some help and she is on some medication that helps regulate her moods a little better now and things are going quite well.

You probably mean "quite well" compared to the hell you were going through before when she was going ballistic.

That's not really the same as a regular quite well.

You would have been better off if she was just spoiled.

You will probably need medication before long

Dealing with some issues of her not telling me she had these problems before I guess she and her family thought it was something she had grown out of but then with the stress of coming to a new country she started having panic attacks and then things just really went downhill.

They knew she hadn't outgrown anything. They also knew you would have run for the hills if they told you that right up front. Just like if somebody said "Hi my name is Julie and I'm an alcoholic"

That's about what you are signing up for if she has "real medical and mental issues going on". You've been had.

If you knew this at the start there wouldn't have been any start.

At this point I am not 100% sure what my decision will be, we still are not married. To all those who wish to know her age it is 19. Right now focused on getting her the help she needs and working on our relationship.

95% chance you will get married and live miserably ever after because you would feel guilty not marrying her after bringing her over here.

And you sure don't know how to do it without hurting her feelings (more guilt)

Sending her back to live in comparative poverty (more guilt)

You are probably asking yourself "how could I desert this poor innocent girl"

The question you are supposed to ask yourself before you get married is "Do I want to spend the rest of my life with this person"

You know you can't give an unqualified yes to that question now. That's a pretty good sign you shouldn't get married.

If you happened to be dating a girl here in the States and She started going off on you, thoughts of marriage would evaporate overnight. Absolutely no way would you marry her next month.

The only reason to marry her now is momentum, oh yeah don't forget guilt.

What are you really guilty of?

Being snookered.

With the clock ticking this is the worst time to be trying to decide whether or not to get married

Saying "She has severe Mental and medical problems" makes it sound like it's not her fault. Therefore more guilt for you. It dosn't make her any easier to live with.

Thanks for everyone responses, some very good others not so much, some very entertaining to read.

I'd suggest telling her neither one of you are ready to get married yet. Tell her you will continue your relationship. Send her back to PI and continue to support her

That's great for working off your guilt. Talk to her on skype everyday.

After 6 months or a year everything will be clear to you, then if you want to marry her with all her problems apply for another

visa.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

If you knew this at the start there wouldn't have been any start

What are you really guilty of?

IMO...That's a lead clue.

So many times...one sided stories are posted. An OP composes a thread claiming absolute innocence while bemoaning (point by point) their SO's monstrous atrocities and evil manipulations.

What is he really guilty of? (Possibly / probably / maybe / odds are)..... More than he will ever admit.

ETA: Interesting ...St. Lukes did not detect the "real medical and mental issues"...I s'spose they were duped too.

Edited May 4, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Dan and Judy 614]

ETA: Interesting ...St. Lukes did not detect the "real medical and mental issues"...I s'spose they were duped too.

Either that or they duped the Dr. over here who is prescribing the drugs.

[HazelConrad 0]

Send her lazy #### back to the Philippines so immature and ungrateful.

[wine 1]

... she has been here 7 months... still as tiny as ever apart from the pregnancy. She didn't start gaining weight until the last month. She weighed 80 pounds when she got here, and in February weighed 80 pounds....between February and now she has only gained 15 pounds. All 15 pounds are pregnancy weight.

She does not eat hamburgers, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, american spaghetti, lasagna, pizza, red beans and rice, soups, or drink milk.

She mainly eats rice, vegetables, pencit, shrimp, chicken, mangoes, bananas, coconut milk and drink water, sometimes sprite. She does like Tom Kai Gui as well. Plus she eats grilled steak and pork when I cook it. she also likes corn dogs. she likes cookie crisp, and cocoa puffs to eat without milk.

She tried a dill pickle. How I wish I had my camera on me at the time. the face was amazing.... she was not expecting something that sour. The "family" has bread and butter pickles at their house. I mainly have dill pickles, sweet relish, and sweet gherkins. (When I worked in the fast food chains, I loved to eat dill pickles for a snack.)

One thing we talk about a lot is the smell of food. Her food does not always smell good to me. As I am sure my food does not always smell good to her. I told her this is what we are accustomed to. You grew up with different cooking styles, and different methods of cooking food. Your styles were to deal with the fact of no storage or refrigeration. While the style here reflects it. There is also more spices used here in America then in her village. This is reflected in how things smell. vinegar, soy sauce are not typical things we cook with. I tell her that her food is good. However, I don't most of it because it does not smell good to me. It is not that I don't want to eat her food. It is because the smell is not something I associate with good food, but I am trying to learn the smell.

:rofl: am laughing as i read ur post...my husband doesnt like the smell of my food too and the way i cook coz most of the time i go for steaming (like just putting the vegs on top of the newly cooked rice) and dip in vinegar..the only food i cook that he likes is sotanghon guisado and siomai...fish heads? he'll run hahahhaha...