Need filipina Advice

[Hank_ 9,174]

It takes two to tango and she doesn't seem to want to "dance".

[Philwithlove 17]

i had read posts from you since im still in the philippines waiting for my approval and now im already happily married, still browsing topics here and frustrates me reading this kind of post. me and my now husband sometimes fight or argue due to our miscommunications but we know thats part of our growing and understanding each other. when we have an argument, i end it up before leaving the house. his mom is in a nursing home, having an alzheimer's. we visit her every sunday and i love her like my own mom. she doesnt remember her friends and even her husband and other kids but it warms my heart everytime she tells us that me and my husband are the two special to her. my husbands family and friends are very accomodating and thats what made me luckier. my husband never send me money even when im in the philippines nor now that im his wife and i understand that coz we have financial problem due to the visa, tickets and everyday living. his love and care are enough for me.

your fiance is very lucky to have someone like you who has been worried and helpful and loving to her. from your post saying about she doesnt know how to go to manila and everybody gave you advice how and i even felt doubtful already about how she doesnt have any effort to do her part on it. you complain about the high electric bill, the corruption in st lukes and the past post. you seem so innocent and never doubt her about all that, instead blamed something or someone else.

now, suffering from her behavior. Sit and talk. ask her what she wants the relationship to go.. and explain to her your feelings and what all these stuff that you wrote here. if she said she wana stay with you and continue, give her a chance and observe her. if its just an acting just to be in the US or real and change to compromise..

hope this will end up to a happy married life posts and not another post saying "shes not cooperating with AOS" or wanted a divorce or other negative stuff..

Edited March 10, 2012 by Philwithlove

[Bayareaguy 156]

It sounds like you are not married yet (just recently arrived on your K1)?

If so, you are in luck.

If there isn't a complete reversal in her attitude, it will likely not get better when you are married. It will most likely get worse.

You are lucky that you can just send her on a plane back.

If you follow through with marriage, it may turn out very bad.

There are plenty of woman of good women in the world...don't make this mistake.

Edited March 10, 2012 by Bayareaguy

[GaryKO 49]

How long has she been here? You must ask yourself how would you feel if you moved 7000 miles, leave your family, your friends, your way of life, all of the things that make you happy? Would you behave normal? Could you adjust in a month, or 3 months and be happy everyday? Her reaction seems pretty normal to me. People think you can move someone out of the poor conditions in the Philippines and they will just be so happy when they are in the land of milk and honey, he he. There is a adjustment period, like it or not she is missing her life in the Philippines. You just need to spend as much time with her as possible, let her know that you love her. Don't try to force your ways on her, force your family on her, don't argue with her or she will tampo on you "not talk to you". Make sure she has the food she likes to eat, go to Asian Philippine store and buy her some Philippine groceries. For the time you have left try your best to prove to her that she can be happy sharing your life.

[Darnell 8,478]

Sorry, you married a teenager.

In a few years, she'll grow up.

If yer lucky, you'll still be married to her, and can enjoy the fruits of her adulthood.

Not today, alas.

is no easy, quick fix for this, alas.

Study a bit on rlogan's posts here..

[Magic Power 7]

Have this playing on the radio when you take her to the airport for her return to Philipppines

[A and T 82]

Sounds like she is spoiled, hopefully you didnt shower her in money and gifts along with her family before bringing over her. Otherwise, you created a monster.  How old is she? 

Edited March 10, 2012 by Adam and Thet

[lakemurray 0]

that was very sad story. .

[Magic Power 7]

Sounds like she is spoiled, hopefully you didnt shower her in money and gifts along with her family before bringing over her. Otherwise, you created a monster.  How old is she? 

:thumbs:

Plz read this and understand, To all the Men on this board. When you bring ur gurl here from Pi. It is your job to create what you want. Cuz u raise them like a child for the first year or so.

You can either create a monster, or create a good gurl

To Adam and Thet - Very very good post :yes:

[John&Juvy 36]

i believe that love knows no bounds. and i believe that marriage is sacred. today, people are confident of getting out of the marriage as quickly as they get into it because of divorce. maybe you should give your marriage/wife a chance. have a serious talk with her or get into counseling. there might be a reason behind her behavior. especially she's still new in the US. you might be giving her and her family favors, but maybe there must be something she want that she's too shy to tell you. some women, even you'll ask them what they want, they would never tell you what they want. they want you to know it. a friend of mine once shared her story with me.she also married a nice american guy. her husband told her, to please tell him what she wanted because he is not a psychic who read minds. maybe you can tell her that too, in a nice way. i am hoping you can get back again to those times when you both were still soooo much in love. God bless.

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

Plz read this and understand, To all the Men on this board. When you bring ur gurl here from Pi. It is your job to create what you want.

You can either create a monster, or create a good gurl

Do you mean like a ....?

or do you mean like...?

Cuz u raise them like a child for the first year or so.

Ohhhh...I think I undestand...you mean until they are....?

Seriously...how old is your "gurl"?

Just when I think I'm out...VJ drags me back in.....

Edited March 10, 2012 by Crashed~N2~Me

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

OP, b4 you send your relationship to the gallows...

I brought a girl here who I love very much

When did she arrive?

I flipped my clock 12 times during our visa process. I still remember how the time zone change sucked the life outta me the first few weeks (each time). Made me feel in a haze. After arrival...it took my wife about 2 months to really adjust to this time zone.

My family has been very nice and loving and accepting to her,

Please clarify / qualify "loving".

I have helped her family so much and done so much for her and now I am full of sadness and regret.

You made a bad investment? You want your money back?

Her family is so nice and very grateful, they advise her all the time to not be jealous and to be nice and try to listen to me and do what I advise her since she is much younger.

1) Need to identify if her family are the driving force behind her decision to be with you. (but) Be careful you don't dig urself a hole by doubting / questioning her ethics.

2) Should listen to you because she is younger...hmmmm...like a daughter?

3) Why is she "jealous"?

She says things like no one likes her she misses her family that my family is not her family that I don't love her and care about her.

Honestly...have you done something to make her think / feel this way? You know...it is her right to have thoughts / feelings. The fact she is expressing them to you...well...it's either a BS manipulation tactic....or...she's reaching out to you for some additional attention.

I just don't understand how she could ever say this or think it after all I have done for her and her family and my family has done for her.

Put away the scorecard. Did you buy her? I'm guessing you are leveraging / bullying her with this. Might explain why she doubts your love.

I just don't know what to do. I feel so heart broken. I don't know how I managed to fall in love with the only Filipina who refuses to do anything by herself and does not want to do anything to better her life or to even help be in a partnership in marriage. I just wish she could take her family's advice and things would be so much better. I had to take off time from work to go to manila to bring her home because she could not even do her medical and interview or anything on her own. Everyone has had to do everything for her. When I was in the Philippines I felt she loved me and I was so happy and did not mind doing so many extra things for her and her family. But now it has taken a toll and when she is rude to my family I just feel hurt and regret.

Well...no good over it...time to make some choices. (there's that word again..."regret"...hmmmmmm...methinks you are leveraging her with your charity)

At this point I am very close to giving up and sending her back to the Philippines.

Did she arrive with a pre addressed / Stamped envelope? Did you get the bubble wrap? Wanna make sure you ship her back in good condition....

[Bayareaguy 156]

Afaik, it has not been established if they have married yet or not. That information will make a big difference in what he should do.

[TiklingGuy 211]

Do you mean like a ....?

or do you mean like...?

Ohhhh...I think I undestand...you mean until they are....?

Seriously...how old is your "gurl"?

Just when I think I'm out...VJ drags me back in.....

:rofl: Awesome!

[Crashed~N2~Me 970]

:rofl: Awesome!

Thanks John.

(I hadn't posted much lately but that was too ez to pass )