2nd visit

[memlaura 60]

Okay we have tons of red flags 18 yr age difference married on first visit and filing with only one visit and I dont plan on having any other children which we discuss for months before we became engaged. We met on line over a year ago I went and stayed for 2 weeks in dec and we were married. I planned on going back however when I returned to the states I ended up with custody of 4 of my granddaughters I dont know how long I will have them so getting back there before or even durning his interview may not be possible. If I send the court paperwork to him to bring to the interview will they take that into consideration or deny because of all the red flags... I was also curious would it be possible for another type of visa like tourist for him to come the the states to visit instead of me going there...

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

While you were there how much time did you spend with his family and friends ? How much documentation do you have of a maritial relationship ? You state you don't want more kids and that you have grandkids. 18 years is a lot of difference. What is his birth position in his family ( it is harder for the oldest male to not carry on the family name )

[Olomi_811 130]

I've been reading around the site tonight with people from other countries asking whether age difference will be a factor. If you were a "mature" caucasian male this wouldn't be an issue. If you were petitioning for someone who was not Nigerian; again this would not be an issue. There are many who only made 1 trip and got married during that trip, but a Lagos interviewer may look at your case and question why you didn't stay longer and why you did not return for a visit. They could deem your marriage as immigration purposes only or approve you. No one really knows. To Nigerians, family means everything. So the Embassy believes that a Nigerian man will not marry anyone who cannot or does not want more children. It's good that your granddaughters have you to take them in; however this increases the size of your family when it's time to submit the I-864 Affidavit of Support. If your income does not meet the poverty level you will need a co-sponsor. As for the tourist visa, you can try it, but that's no guarantee either. Many people have not had success with that including myself (which is why I went to Nigeria).

You know your red flags. Start having serious conversations with your husband as to how you can explain them if/when asked.

[favored 31]

these are really red flags. you might want to consider attending the interview.. it might not help, but won't hurt. No offense, but i can just see lagos CO laugh (from what i've read here on vj) as ur spouse walks up to the window. you do have your work cut out for you, so like you said begin digging at it and pray and dig at it some more.. nothing is impossible..all the best

[patient2010 93]

hmmmmm....Just make sure ur bases are covered and pray that is all you can do in Lagos but the not have anymore kids is a big one I cant even believe your husband is ok with that....Goodluck

[memlaura 60]

While you were there how much time did you spend with his family and friends ? How much documentation do you have of a maritial relationship ? You state you don't want more kids and that you have grandkids. 18 years is a lot of difference. What is his birth position in his family ( it is harder for the oldest male to not carry on the family name )

While I was there I spent more time with his friends and him then I did his family. We went out to dinner and the beach and a street bar. The day we were married I spent the day with his Dad, Aunt, Uncle and some of his cousins. His dad stood up for him and his uncle stood up for me. His mom and dad are divorced and she did not come to the wedding. He is there only child but both parents remarried and have other children with their respective spouses. I have phone records pictures emails skype records yahoo conversations. Also in may I was in London and his best friend who is like a brother to him lives there so while I was there with my daughter we spent time with him going to movies and dinner and such. We have talked to a great extent about kids we will probably adopt a baby but I cant have anymore kids..

[BimnKay 5]

Okay we have tons of red flags 18 yr age difference married on first visit and filing with only one visit and I dont plan on having any other children which we discuss for months before we became engaged. We met on line over a year ago I went and stayed for 2 weeks in dec and we were married. I planned on going back however when I returned to the states I ended up with custody of 4 of my granddaughters I dont know how long I will have them so getting back there before or even durning his interview may not be possible. If I send the court paperwork to him to bring to the interview will they take that into consideration or deny because of all the red flags... I was also curious would it be possible for another type of visa like tourist for him to come the the states to visit instead of me going there...

Like everyone said, just gather as much evidence as you can and hope for the best. With the issue of not wanting anymore children, that may be an issue, even if your husband says he is okay with no children, it is highly probable that his family will not share that same sentiment. If you can both reach a mutual decision and he will support you should his family bring up the issue the goodluck.

Pray for the best and everything will be ok.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

Adoption is a nice though but no easy to do under Nigerian law. His family probably won't want to adopt a non Nigerian child. To adopt you will both need to live there for a couple of years. Being the oldest child of the father he is expected to produce a son, under Nigerian tradition he will inhert the family property and needs a son to pass it on to. The consulate is aware of this tradition, which means you have an uphill battle.